Epic Pony Rap Battles Of Equestria

by Everfree23

Diamond Tiara vs. Silver Spoon

The TV flickered on, and a video began. Twilight smiled slightly at the sight of herself as just a little filly. Two fillies stood in front of her, Saltlick, and Muffin Berry. Saltlick narrowed his readied eyes and took a deep breath. Muffin Berry nervously bit her lip, and pressed her haunches together. Twilight began the beat, and the raps began. Twilight smiled as Saltlick aside his blue mane.

Hey Muffy, my girl, keep you raps nice and slow,
I wouldn't want to rush you on your first rap, you know?
You took my book and glue and crayons too, pencils you chewed and gave away
Give back my stuff, and I mean TODAY!
You always say, "Oh I'll give you them later Salty"!
And by the way stop press your haunches, makes it look like you have to pee!
Just stop! Nobody cares, just shut your lips.
And like I mentioned before, stop chewing on my pencil tips!

Oh, my apologies salt!
How must I forget that your just a dumb colt?
You're fat and you're lazy and act way to boring!
When you do a presentation, you leave the class snoring!
Oh, did you complain so more like you always do?
About my haunches pressing? Yeah well once you did it too!
I don't care at all what you have to say, no way!
So I suggest that you just stay, away!
I have four hooves and I'm ready to smack, so if you want no marks, you'd better TAKE THAT BACK!"

Take it back? Are you crazy?
Or did my cool rhymes just make your little mind hazy?
Fat and lazy?
Don't joke!
Your raps are as hard as raw egg yolk!
All your threats are empty, alone and depressed!
Waiting in your mind so they can be expressed!
But you'll be running away crying by the next time your turn comes,
Horns vs. Wings? I know how to choose them!
Magic and flying, heck, magic can make you fly! I don't need wings to get up into the sky!
I have four hooves too, and I'm not afraid to use 'em!
You've got all these nasty tunes in your voice, just lose 'em!

I warned you, I told you, don't say I didn't!
Watch me, I'll prove it! You're weaker than a kitten!

Muffin Berry smirked and walked over to a nervous looking Saltlick. With one shove, he toppled over, but what was supposed to be just a simple tumble quickly turned terribly wrong. Tears welled in Twilight's eyes and trickled down her face as she watched the tape. Saltlick shrieked and Muffin gasped as Salt tumbled down the hill, and smashed his colt head into a rock. He was not sleeping, he was not unconscious, he was not ok. He was stone cold dead.

Twilight closed her eyes and began to sob. She looked away from the TV, only to find herself facing the window, where Scootaloo was standing, gaping at the TV. "Scootaloo!" gasped Twilight.

Scootaloo gasped and raced off, back to the barn. Twilight's thoughts whirled as she thought about what Scootaloo had seen. She popped the tape out and put it away, not being able to concentrate. She decided to go for a walk, to downtown Ponyville. She had always loved Downtown Ponyville. The air, the lights, the ponies. She was almost there, when her path was suddenly blocked by two fancy fillies.

"Scootaloo says you've seen a dead colt before!" Diamond Tiara shrilled. "But it's obviously nonsense, of course you haven't.".

"That's so not true, of course she has! It's obvious by the way Scootaloo said it!" Silver Spoon huffed.

"Well you didn't have to call me a liar!"

"Well you didn't have to call me a twit!"

"Girls, girls, please! Calm down!" Twilight coaxed.

"I want to have a rap battle!" Silver shrieked. Twilight sighed.

"Fine. I'll go get ready. Let's walk back." she sulked.

---

Finally done preparing, the beat began.

"EPIC PONY RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!"

"DIAMOND TIARA!"

"VS...SILVER SPOON!"

"BEGIN!"

Silver and gold
A wise man once said.
Oh wait, who was that man?
Yes, my daddy!
He's rich he's got power, you're just catty!
Nobody wants to see your ugly face you putrid fatty!
Just shut up!
Or nut up!
It's your decision
just please stop sticking your butt up!
Waving your cutie mark all around what does it even mean?
Probably that you're ugly
at least my cutie mark is nice and clean!
Lean!
You've never seen this much sheen!
It's like a dream!
Running on nothing but magical steam!
You have four eyes?
No, coke bottles on your face!
Just go and hide Silver, you're a disgrace!

Bump,
Bump.
Sugar lump rump!
All you ever do is have your jaw go pump pump pump!
You think that a diamond tiara makes you pretty.
You think that you can rap?
Yeah, no! That was just a little diddy!
I have thick glasses? At least that means I can see
the smooth and fabulous rhymes that are pouring out of me!
All around!
You can never escape
your fate!
Which is me, with my raps I'll make you deflate.
My raps are as smooth and yours are horrifying,
I'm rapping dope flows while you're learning the steps of mane dying!
I can't believe that you're so cold!
You're raps are old
so I've been told
your face is mold
You're uncontrolled
And now I'm nearly done
I hope you liked your scold!

Oh Silver, how hurtful!
Turning on a best friend.
I could easily bring you to your very end.
I'm not a liar, you're just much too scared to hear the truth!
You call my raps old when yours are OBVIOUSLY lacking in youth.
Too scared for big words? Really? Well you're being tormented
You demented little scum on the street!
Are you finding it hard to stay atop the beat?
The verbal beatdown I'm giving you just ain't enough?
C'mon Silver,
I thought you were tough!

I think you're being farfetched Diamond,
No matter what you try you'll always come out second.
Nobody wants you around, so just get back on the ground,
yes you deserve it, Little Miss Lost and Found!
Well, of course that's your title, where did you get your clothes?
Oh that's right, I just said where your money goes.
Not! You liar, you have no money to spend!
Sorry Tiara but this just has to be your end!

"WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!" Twilight hollered over the screaming crowd. Diamond snarled as she left the stage. Damn it, she won! she thought to herself.

Comments

[Everfree23]

Do you guys really have to go as far as to say I'm a teriible writer? That's I'm worthless and pathetic, that I'm immature and dumb? I don't want to fight all the time like I always end up doing on any story I write, so I'm deleting any mean comments. Please just stop!

[Wonderstruck]

I think this is great! It's just some bits don't feeli like they are right (like the first four lines of diamond tiara's rap) but maybe that's what you were going for. I dunno. But I like it! (And silver wins :D)

[Everfree23]

2679223

Thanks for the compliment! For the beginning of Diamond's rap, I was kind of going for the theme that she can't really rap at first but gets the hang of it, and thinks she's too good to rap in the first place, so lost in her own voice that she loses track of what she wanted to say

[Wonderstruck]

2679521 ok yeah that's what I was thinking but I wasn't sure :) how bout...diamond dogs and rarity/spike?

[Everfree23]

2679527

Actually, that's a great idea! I'll definitely do that sometime, I've been looking for a way to use the Diamond Dogs in a rap. Currently, I'm working on Scootaloo vs. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle

[Chat Noir]

I enjoyed it.

[Chat Noir]

2678038

[Pony Bones]

The rhymes got much better in this chapter, I have to agree Silver Spoon took this round.

[Jazz]

Silver Spoon. Duh. By far!