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More Stories7

  • E Just A Taste

    Applejack ponders her brief time with Rarity's Cutie Mark.
    1,017 words · 1,394 views  ·  93  ·  2
  • E I Won't Let You Win

    Rarity confronts herself on the eve of her spell-infused spree.
    1,356 words · 582 views  ·  84  ·  5
  • E Happy Birthday

    An old Applejack receives some unexpected visitors...or perhaps messengers...on her Birthday.
    1,239 words · 562 views  ·  31  ·  2
  • E A Bushel of Apples

    An android named Applejack meets a kindly family for the first time.
    2,634 words · 238 views  ·  14  ·  0
  • E The Visitor

    A "Transformers Prime" Crossover where Optimus Prime finds himself in Equestria.
    8,013 words · 1,898 views  ·  77  ·  16
  • E Of The Earth

    Applejack must struggle to make sense of a shocking revelation about who she is and where she came from.
    1,848 words · 343 views  ·  14  ·  1
  • E Apple of my 'Shy

    Three short stories exploring the relationship between Applejack and Fluttershy.
    5,545 words · 480 views  ·  18  ·  2

Blog Posts11

  • 14w, 6d
    A Belated Bookish Birthday

    2 comments · 55 views
  • 28w, 6d
    The Kingdom And The Castle (MLP S4 FINALE REVIEW) (EDIT)

    EDIT:  OK, so the original version of this was written in a bit of a rush so that I could get to Work on time that day.  As such, I really hadn't had a chance to properly let my feelings on the episodes settle.  That's no longer the case now, and I actually find myself MUCH better disposed to the whole thing than I was when I wrote this (and I was pretty positively disposed towards it to begin with, though I realize that may not have come through all the way XD; ).  I've thus decided to go back through and edit my original post a bit to clarify or expand some of my thoughts to give folks a clearer view of how I wound up feeling about it.   So anything you see bracketed by **'s here?  Means I added it in after the initial post.   Likewise put a strike through anything I wrote that no longer really applies to how I feel anymore.  ^_^

    WARNING!  WARNING!  SPOILERS FOR THE "MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC" SEASON 4 FINALE AHEAD!

    WARNING!  WARNING!  SPOILERS FOR THE "MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC" SEASON 4 FINALE AHEAD!

    WARNING!  WARNING!  SPOILERS FOR THE "MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC" SEASON 4 FINALE AHEAD!

    WARNING!  WARNING!  SPOILERS FOR THE "MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC" SEASON 4 FINALE AHEAD!

    Generally speaking, most fellow FiM fans I know agree "Friendship is Magic"'s fourth season has probably been the bumpiest overall stretch of the show's history.  It has, unquestionably, had its highlights, and there are simply too many wonderfully memorable and fun moments all throughout to call it "bad", at least for me.  But it's also been full of questionable choices, frustrating misuse of characters, and the ratio of episodes that are great, or even good, to the episodes that are at best mediocre to disappointing to outright awful is, to me, poorer this season than any other.  So "Twilight's Kingdom" had quite a bit more riding on it than usual for an FiM finale.  Not only is it the two-parter that needs to cap this rough season in a way that justifies its failings, it's also acting as the resolution to the season's underlying sub-plot revolving the mysterious Rainbow Power that kept cropping up in little glimpses throughout, and has decided to resolve, once and for all, just what it means for Twilight Sparkle to now be a Princess.  Does it succeed?  Well....

    Yes.  **Very much yes.**  Or at the very least, more so than "Princess Twilight Sparkle", the Season 4 premiere.  Which is funny, because in a lot of respects the episode's plot and structure actually wind up feeling like a more successful re-do of that so-close-to-good-if-only-the-final-third-wasn't-marred-by-a-hoplessly-out-of-character-contrivance-to-move-the-story-along episode.  We have Twilight struggling to figure out what her newfound Princesshood means (in a way that seems almost contradictory to the way it was at the start of the season, too; ** I'm not entirely sure this version necessarily makes more sense than that one, but at the very least it feels significantly better developed and realized, so I ultimately prefer it**), we have a crisis gripping all Equestria that is rooted in the ancient past and ultimately tasks Twilight with stepping up more fully into her Royal Role, we have Discord mucking about, and we have a scale and scope far broader than just one city or town to work with in terms of stakes.  The big difference is that the episode is much better able to follow through on its set up this time around, and even manages to provide us with the first half-way successful new Big Bad since Queen Chrysalis back in Season 2.  Admittedly, I don't know that I would call our new Tirek entirely successful **at least as a character; as a Villain, I think he plays his role more or less perfectly**; like Sombra, his personality is a bit on the generic side **though this is compensated for by the nice, sharp bombast of his VA, who also does a good job of matching his voice to Tirek's state of being.  Listening to his tone and personality change as he grows stronger really enhances the effect**.  Thankfully, the episode **more than makes up for it** by allowing him to become a far more active, far more visceral threat fairly early on, and the episode is able to nicely ramp upjust how dangerous he really is throughout (the design too is most intriguing; the way it evolves over the course of the episode is quite neat, and the higher-end forms are very strongly designed, though I think the VERY final form is a bit on the silly side with that dopey mohawk).  **I also appreciate that his power is not purely physical; his manipulating Discord into helping him and his ultimatum to Twilight both suggest a good degree of grim cunning as well.**  The effect, then, is that this time around the crisis at hoof feels genuinely important, and the episode is very good at pacing itself and keeping the forward momentum strong; there are no particularly distracting or glaring missteps this time around where I felt the plot was flowing inorganically or the characters acting unbelievably, and so even as we do still have the problem of the story being driven far more by Incident and Plot than by its characters, it at least manages to do so in a way that feels much more engaging and enjoyable.  Alas, it does still feel a bit like we skimp on the real Heart this time; it is not without its moments, especially involving Discord and his new crisis of conscience, but it still seems as if the characters themselves are only of secondary importance to the overall narrative.  **At this point, I feel inclined to rescind this last complaint more or less completely; the more I've thought about it, the more I think this episode actually managed to integrate the characters' emotional beings and personal elements into the story than almost any other stab the show's taken at it since "Return of Harmony"; possibly even the original "Friendship is Magic" two-parter.  It does so by a method a bit different than those episodes, admittedly, so I missed it at first, but it feels crystal-clear in retrospect.  I'll get into that more in a bit though.**

    It also suffers, more than just about any other Epic Episode in the show's history, from "Twilight Sparkle And Her Five Useless Hangers-On Syndrome".  For all the extensive lip service the episodes pay to their importance, the rest of the Mane Six really don't wind up having any real role to play in the proceedings that is anything other than purely functional (especially since Discord winds up taking the role of the Signifier for Friendship's Importance), and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me, especially since it has the effect of undercutting a lot of the themes and ideas the episode is trying to work with.  **Again, I think this problem's mostly faded at this point.  I am still a bit irked by it, I suppose, but it makes much more sense to the story's ideas and structure now that I think about it.  The rest of the Girls MADE their contributions to this story already in their respective Rainbow Episodes, and as part of building up to this story, Twilight's been riding in the backseat almost all Season with nearly nothing to do.  Even as I do wish we could have Epic Stories that aren't centered around her, neither can I deny that she really, REALLY earned it this time.**  I'm also not sure we really needed to revisit the "Twilight is uncertain about her Princesshood" thing for, like, the fifth time in a row (I'm counting "The Crystal Empire" here for working with a very similar concept that was used as a prologue to her ascension).  At the same time, though, I'd argue this is probably the most successful of those five visits in the first place, with only "Equestria Girls" offering it much real competition.  It's still not perfect; I remain unconvinced that Twilight's transformation was really needed for her growth as a character and not just for Hasbro's marketing materials.  But it at least infuses an element of personal determination and choice into the proceedings that was, up until now, frightfully absent, and the points it tries to make about who Twilight has now become ring truer than the last few times.  **More importantly, it gives us an explanation for what, exactly, Twilight's Princesshood MEANS that feels wholly convincing and compelling, something I honestly doubted the show could pull off.  Yet pull it off it did, with flying colors (literally >w>), by making it clear her newfound role is really just an expansion and continuation of her old role: learning more about the Power of Friendship, and helping to spread those lessons to others, with her closest friends as her Knights of the Round Table (and kudos to the show for giving Spike a chair, by the way; it would've been all too easy a detail to miss, but they made exactly the right call for it).  It's a brilliant concept that manages to wrap the whole episode up with a renewed sense of vitality and energy to the show's central cast and concepts.  

    And that, for me, is what manages to keep the episode afloat despite its problems **which themselves have only lessened the more I've thought about them**.  Even as it is perhaps more so at a conceptual level than one of fully-effective realization, the episode's underlying concepts about the importance of Friendship, about Twilight's struggle for personal growth and understanding, about Discord, about the Princesses, about her friends...they all feel right, and honest, and true.  **This has only grown more true with time;** The Rainbow Keys help here a lot by reminding us of all the ways the characters have learned and grown over the course of the season (and even more effective than the flashbacks in this respect are the reminders at the end of who our heroines have managed to touch and connect with ), and by anchoring the plot's machinations to those ideas it manages to keep things grounded in a more personal level of emotion that allows the grander gestures of Epic Action to flourish; Twilight's battle with Tirek, impressively done and exciting enough on its own, only truly flourishes because of how it is resolved, not only with Twilight reasserting her friendship with the others but finalizing it with Discord.  There are maybe some awkward moments to be found here (going back for the box felt like a weird call; couldn't we have had it activate automatically from where they were, somehow?), but nothing truly bothersome, and even the very ending manages to feel warm and sincere enough to click.    

    I'd say, in sum, that "Twilight's Kingdom" brings the Epic more successfully than the show has managed since "A Canterlot Wedding", and even if it is not entirely successful at bringing the Heart necessary to really make that Epicness click, it is at least enough so that I don't feel like we've lost the bead this time around.  Great?  **Yes.  Indeed, the greatest the show's been in what feels like a very long time.**  Also good, and satisfying, and exciting, and enjoyable?  Yes.  It brings Season 4 to a close **far better** than I could have hoped for, and that's quite enough for me. ^_^

    Some other odds and ends:

    * Oddly enough, the origin of Tirek's return-that he escaped from Tartarus when Cerberus left his post back in "It's About Time"-was the headcanon I once had for where the Changelings came from.

    * ...so Discord's Magic is a Witch Barrier, then?  I wish I could say I was surprised. XD

    * I actually really like that Celestia placed her faith in Discord, only for it to prove a mistake; you can see the logic behind it, indeed it's this exact scenario she chose to release Discord for, so its not as if she acted stupidly, but it's also nice to know that even the Wisest really can't see all ends, and for the show to acknowledge that respectfully.  **Likewise, I appreciate the subtle implication that it was as much about protecting Twilight as anything else; both Cadance and Luna seemed to think Twilight would've been the better first choice, after all....**

    * Never thought we'd get an Epic Action Fight as full-throttle as Tirek Vs. All-Princess Twilight; I'm thoroughly impressed.  **In fact, let's talk about this a bit more, because HOLY AMAZEBALLS what a fight scene.  The show's teased at this sort of thing often enough in the past to justify going all in like this, and Season 4 in particular laid some nice groundwork for it to feel tonally appropriate for a "My Little Pony" show with earlier, more minor examples like the flashback to Celestia's fight with Nightmare Moon in "Princess Twilight Sparkle" or the fight with the Tatzlwurm from "Three's A Crowd".  No holds barred this time, though, and the show's animators really let loose with both barrels in amazing fashion.  Loved it, loved it, loved it.**

    ** "Surely you saw this coming."  "I didn't.  I really didn't."  Both times?  ULTRA.  HEARTBREAKING.**

    ** So we'll be seeing Scorpan in Season 5, yes?  Like...that's all but guaranteed, isn't it?  'Cuz I'd be shocked if the stylized-flashback is all we'll ever see of him, and the show left it pretty wide open for him to get involved somehow.  At the very least, I hope we do someday; I loves me some Scorpan, and I'm intrigued to see what one who was apparently good more or less from the start (with no need for a last-minute Princeification, no less!) would look like.

    ...which brings us to the matter of my little fanfic.

    There's no getting around it now.  If I want to continue "Escape From Castle Midnight", it will have to be as an AU; even if I could somehow figure out a way to work around a canonical Tirek, that still leaves me with the matter of a canonical Scorpan as well, and that is simply too tall an order to fill.

    The question, then, is if I even want to continue it anymore.

    While they are far from identical, there are nonetheless enough similarities between how this episode plays out and the way I saw my own story ultimately unfolding that I have to pause and wonder if maybe I haven't kind of been beaten to the punch?  I think, ultmiately, the answer is going to end up being "yes"; there are enough ideas I still have for my story unique enough to itself that I certainly want it to be.  But I'm going to need some real time to mull it over....  

    ** And now that I have had time to mull it over, the answer is: absolutely, "Castle Midnight" will continue.  I don't care if it takes longer than the show itself airs for (which, at this rate, it very realistically could lD; ), I intend to see this through to the end.  Indeed, not only has this episode NOT stopped me from wanting to finish, it's fueled me that much more by providing canonical examples of many of the ideas I was shooting for to bolster my confidence in and enthusiasm for them.  So brace yourselves, folks; this story's over, but mine is only beginning!**

    8 comments · 203 views
  • 36w, 4d
    One Good Thing About Season 4

    As a whole, I've found Season 4 a bit of an...uneven ride thus far.  We've had some very high highs, to be sure, but we have also had some very low lows, and between the two extremes it's felt mostly OK but not great; there have simply been too many episodes this season that left a bad taste in my mouth, and the ratio of those that did vs. those that didn't, and the degree to which they did, has been too lopsided for me to ignore.  I don't want to call it bad, understand, just...disappointing.  

    But whatever else its faults, I find it hard to argue against one particular strength it has shown off rather consistently: New Characters.

    Seriously.  Think about it.  Season 4 has introduced us to a lot of New Characters thus far, and to a one, they have all been memorable, endearing, enjoyable, and/or amazing.  Goldie Delicious, Cheese Sandwich, the unforgettable Angel/Devil duo of Coco Pommel and Suri Polomare, Seabreeze, Maud Pie...I'm even willing to count A.K. Yearling/Daring Do, since her existence as an actual Pony is now confirmed.  Even when the episodes they're in aren't necessarily the best (though looking it over, I can't help but notice the majority of the episodes featuring these new characters are, for the most part, among the better ones this season thus far), the characters themselves have proven welcome additions to FiM's world and cast, and I find myself hoping we'll get to see more of each and every one of them at some point in the future.

    So even if Season 4 continues its uneven streak, I feel alright about where it stands in the overall scheme of FiM, because any season that gives us THAT much good new stuff to work with can't really be considered bad. ^_^

    0 comments · 83 views
  • 40w, 4d
    "Just A Taste" Got a Reading!

    Yes, it's very true!  The first of my little thirty-minute Pony stories has gotten a lovely reading, courtesey of Obabscribbler!  I am, sincerely, flattered someone found my story good enough to give this treatment to, and invite you all to enjoy it for yourselves here:


    Thanks again, Scribbler! :D

    2 comments · 98 views
  • 45w, 1d
    The Fate of "Castle Midnight" (EDITS COMPLETE)

    So.  I mentioned this in my "New Year's Resolutions" journal, but in case you missed it, I've been struggling on how to proceed with my Pony 'fic "Escape From Castle Midnight" now that there are elements of its plot thus far (as well as planned elements that have yet to appear) that now actively contradict the show's canon, yet the events of the story are meant to take place after the show's story to date.  It's taken a good deal of thinking, but especially after some inadvertent inspiration from BookishDelight, I've made up my mind: rather than go AU, I intend to edit the story's existing chapters as necessary to better align them with the show's present status quo and proceed from there.  This amounts to surface-level changes thus far, but it does mean a bit of recalculating for the story down the line, so I may need to do some re-thinking about certain key elements.  But nonetheless, now I know, for sure, where I stand, and what I want to do with the story moving forward.  So look forward to a new update coming soon, and thank you to everyone who has supported the story thus far.    

    EDIT: And with that, all published chapters of the story to date have been edited.  I've preserved the original versions of each chapter on deviantART's sta.sh folder and have linked to them in the Author's Comments section of the posted versions.  For those who are curious, the chapters most critically affected are Chapters 2, 3, and 4, but all chapters do contain minor nip/tucks to better conform to the show's current status, though the Prologue did not need to be edited at all.  

    2 comments · 144 views
  • ...
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Source

((NOTE: "Twilight's Kingdom", all information revealed in it, and all events after it are non-canonical to this story.))

When strange black clouds gather over Equestria, it marks the beginning of a dangerous new adventure.  Now the Mane Six must travel to a strange, dark realm to save the friends who are being held prisoner there.  Will they succeed?  Or will the darkness of this world consume all of Equestria?

Based on the original My Little Pony TV Special, "The Rescue from Midnight Castle".

Cover image by the highly-talented Elisto from deviantART: www.elisto.deviantart.com

First Published
13th Feb 2012
Last Modified
6th Mar 2014

Funny thing is, once I had watched the TV special myself I also pondered the idea of doing a Friendship is Magic version of 'Rescue at Midnight Castle'. Of course I already had many other plans for Friendship is Magic fanfics and decided to stick to focusing on my FlutterDash story plans, and perhaps in the future come back to writing a Friendship is Magic version of 'Rescue at Midnight Castle'. In thinking of creating my own version though I wondered, "why had no one else written this story yet? It seems like a logical thing to do and a rather interesting story could come out of it." Now I need not worry about creating my own version (though if I get the free time and inspiration for it I may do so anyway) because not only have you written one but it's also really good.

In a very successful connection of the show and the special you have managed to create quite a few twists I did not expect. You've put a lot of effort into giving the story a sense of mystery and it pays off, and despite having watched the special I am actually unsure of how the story will progress or what trials the characters will face. The description is great and vocabulary as well, the pacing so far has been wonderful and atmosphere can be felt quite well. The action scenes are nicely written, with obvious praise to the battle between Scorpan and Celestia, and I'm eager to find out what happens next.

The inclusion of Trixie is rather out of place (seriously, why is she back in Ponyville? Gilda appears to be connected to the plot in some way but Trixie just feels like a piece of fan service), and I think Big Macintosh, although in character, spoke a bit too often (the main joke with the character is that conversations usually end up with moments where he can get by with only saying 'eyup' and 'nope') but these are not exactly big issues. Overall I can say there is nothing that feels bad about the story so far, and as it has only just begun I can't quite voice any discontent in regards to my personal likes and dislikes. There are moments where it’s really slow pace can make things a bit dull but in fairness a slow pacing is better than a rushed pacing, and is also better suited for your more...mystery oriented style of storytelling.

Often when I think 'why has no one written this story idea yet' it ironically gets written...very badly. These first four chapters have eased any worries I had though, and so far you've impressed me. Superb job, keep up the great work!

>>216496  First off, thank you for the well thought-out comment, and I'm very glad you're enjoying it overall so far. ^_^

I'm particularly glad to hear that, despite your familiarity with the original special, you can't say for sure what's going to happen.  It's very important to me, with Remakes of any kind, that the original not be stuck to so slavishly as to make the new version redundant, and particularly here, I want to make sure that the fundamentals of "Friendship Is Magic"'s world and cast are kept as important to the story as those of the original "Rescue from Midnight Castle".

My pacing is indeed a bit on the slow side, something I'm hoping to work on as the story progresses, but Iike you I'd rather the story move too slow than too fast, especially since the air of mystery isn't the only thing I want to maintain.  The personal stakes of the characters are also a very important element of the story to me, and I want to make sure they receive proper focus.  That said, I do hope that as the plot clicks into place more and more, the pace will pick up overall.

As for Trixie, I know it isn't immediately obvious, but she DOES have a part to play in all this. :trixieshiftright:  As for why she's still in Ponyville, I just sort of assumed she's been hovering around there ever since the events of "Boast Busters"; Twilight seemed to imply she'd be back eventually at the end of that episode, so it didn't seem too unlikely to me.  I agree Big Macintosh is maybe a bit too talkative, too, but in my defense, when I started writing this, his only significant appearance was "Apple Buck Season", where he actually did get enough dialogue to suggest he can and does talk a bit more than we've seen since.  

Again, thank you for the comment, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story as I continue to work on it. :)

Wait, this story is on FimFiction now? :pinkiegasp:

...and I'm the only one to uprate it? :rainbowhuh:

Something odd is going on here... :duck:

im curios as to where this story is headed.

Error 4: You now have 5 comments

Glory: You have all the glory you need!

Midnight Castle: You went to the past to find this and the pain you went through too!

SWEET!!!  I thought this thing died months ago, and now there's a new chapter!  What a pleasant surprise this is!!  

>>401871 I think that's changed at this point, but thank you for being the first. :twilightsmile:

>>491954 Things will become clear with time... ;3

>>528476 It was hardly a pain at all, actually; I've long had a certain affection for the original Special this story's based on, which is why I was so excited to work on this story. :D  Thank you for the comment, and I hope you continue to enjoy the 'fic. ^_^

>>528526 Tenacious D: Always Relevant. XD  Thanks for the awesome mood-music, friend. :rainbowdetermined2:

>>528916 Ha, yeah, as I've told everypony, this baby's going to be slow to update most of the time. :twilightsheepish:  Still, I'm glad you continue to enjoy it, and I promise I'll see it through to the end. :yay:

>>531763

Well I can't let a guy named after Gojira hanging, now can I?

>>532006 Thanks for that, though I feel compelled to point out my name stems from Gojira the giant monster (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EtGVXpLYXe4/Tx2H9rLWAwI/AAAAAAAAHp8/LIS91OCOCZY/s1600/godzillamininfo1954.jpg), not Gojira the Rock Band (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gojira). :scootangel:

OMG!  I love this fic!  I had no idea it was on Fimfiction!  Now I can track it and comment on it and stuff, and there's a new update!  This has officially made my whole month!  Now to read it!

>>532626 So glad to hear you're a fan.  I hope you enjoy the new chapter. :pinkiehappy:

i cant believe you included the changlings in the description of who is wanting to attack.  seriosly they just came out as a species.

>>532874 I felt the reference was small enough, the time since the Finale long enough, that it wouldn't be particularly Spoiler-y; my apologies if you yourself felt spoiled by it. ^^;

>>531756 achievements unlocked

You're Welcome: you're welcome.

>>531743

Well, that comment WAS posted a month ago. :trollestia:

>>535958 Yes, I know, and for some reason I didn't know about it until just recently. XD;  

So I figured I'd reread this since it's been a while, and review as I go (which seems to be taking a rather long time...I'm slow but steady sometimes, it will definitely happen).  As a huge fan of history and mythology I am always intrigued by the past of the royal sisters, love reading different takes on their origins or that of Nightmare Moon.  Luna's characterization here just rings very true to me.  It's the right balance between her endearing uncertainty and her god-like power.  Wise enough to recognize how wrong her feelings are but powerless to change them; I think we've all had those moments.  It's easy to sympathize with her, but she still has a legitimate dark side--I've always found that stories that try to portray her as solely manipulated by forces beyond her control, or otherwise make her actions seem more excusable tend to unwittingly rob her character of so much of its depth and their narrative of so much of its power, by removing such a central source of conflict.  Of course, that's only my opinion and all, but for me it's just so dramatic and exciting to watch it unfold this way.  :raritystarry:

It's also very much for the best that Luna does resist at least for now.  If it's too easy that hurts believability and that oh so palpable tension you've built up here, besides painting Luna as rather weak-willed and foolish.  I mean, seriously, voice out of nowhere offers you your darkest desires and you just go SEEMS LEGIT and don't even take some time to think about it?  Yeah, that would be bad.  So, kudos for not rushing it, and for the most part avoiding the myriad pitfalls this plot presents (it does still kind of feel like you're trying too hard to justify things happening the way they do, comes across as kinda forced; it'd be better if you could find a way to be a bit more subtle about those points, imo, but obviously that is not easy to do without sacrificing clarity, which is probably more important in the end).

Two things come to mind regarding this being the untold story, that not even Celestia knows.  One is that it's a great way to spark my interest, that feeling of having access to privileged information.  The other is that it always struck me that a great deal of the real tragedy in these events lay in the lack of communication between the sisters...that if either had known the full truth of what was in the other's heart things might have turned out very differently indeed...

The atmosphere is beautifully dark and suspenseful, and into that perfectly fitting setting enters the mystery of who or what this voice is, and it just keeps drawing me deeper.  Really, well done on that.

>>617044  Well first off, thank you for your Review, and I can't wait to see what you have to say for the rest of the story so far. :D

Anyway.  I completely agree with you; making Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon completely a matter of Outside Influence would have been a big mistake in my eyes; indeed, I rarely if ever like using the "Completely Brainwashed" trick for that very reason: it strips a lot of the feeling of Consequence and Impact from any given betrayal.  I prefer to try and work through the inherent issues of such a situation for the character.  So I'm glad to hear you feel the element of outside influence I introduced here managed to work well without diminishing the depth of Luna's character. ^_^

And yes, that is indeed an intentional under-current, the idea that if only Celestia had known, things might have gone better, and that part of the reason this was able to happen was that the weight of new responsibility thrust on both Sisters led to a rift between them.  You'll be seeing that idea explored more as the story progresses. :raritywink:

Again, thank you for the Review, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. :twilightsmile:

This sounds like an interesting idea and I'll read this soon (hopefully).

>>800930 Hope you do, and I hope you enjoy it when you do. :twilightsmile:

It updated! It actually UPDATED! :pinkiegasp: I'll post an actual comment after I actually read it.

>>1285505  Hope you enjoy!  For the record, I'm starting a new method of how I break down chapters that will hopefully help this story's pacing, and the speed at which it updates. ^_^

>>1286238 Your eyes deceive thee not; this is indeed an update, and one which hath been made in such a fashion as to better insure more frequent updates in the future! :D

Pinkie Pie is right, of course. This is just Fluttershy's first time dealing some an entity or creature which has bottled away it's emotions in order to avoid another lash of the whip. Something that has been so thoroughly "Broken In" that even the THOUGHT of disobeying a direct order never crosses it's mind. A kind of Living Death in which the spirit passes on, but the body remains. It is the death of Hope.

...now raise your hoof if you want to see Fluttershy set off a Strydon Civil War. :yay:/)

>>1287770 Evocatively and well-put. :)  I don't want to say too much, but the topic of the creatures that live on the other side of the Black Clouds and Fluttershy's feelings about them is going to be important as the story progresses. ;3

Suddenly, the unicorn turned around sharply, her expression both deadly serious and extremely concerned. "Fluttershy, find the Mayor and tell her to instruct everypony to get inside. Spike, I need you to send a message to Princess Celestia immediately. If what I've just read is true, Ponyville is in terrible danger."

The streets of Ponyville were far more active than they had been earlier. That was great news as far as Big Macintosh was concerned; more ponies meant more business, and though the soft-spoken stallion was not as talented a salespony as his sister Applejack, his quiet charm and striking red fur made sure he could bring in good numbers even so. Except, of course, that today he had a rather unexpected guest on account of Granny Smith's protracted narcolepsy…

The lack of any sort of scene transition is really jarring here.

>>1288303

Not sure how I missed that one, actually, but thank you for pointing it out.

i know its too much too hope for but is there anyway you could include some of the heroes that saved the day from tirak before like FIREFLY, or one of the others. that would be sooo cool if you did. maybe since we didnt see firefly, or some of the others past the series premier, they got trapped in some weird dimension, that stopped time, and somehow with the awakening of tirake, this soo called dimension disapears, leaing firefly or one of the others with information, and knowledge of how to beat tirake...

hey it could happen, i often wondered where firefly went after escape from caste midnight, who knows she could of gone adventuring and stumbled onto, or fallen into the portal to this dimenson.

anywho its just an idea , but t would be cool to see one or some of the old crew that beat him, that would really give tirake a heart atack hehehe.

>>1694477  I definitely see the appeal of that idea, but for a whole bunch of reasons there really isn't room for it.  Even setting aside the continuity issues, the Mane Six cover a lot of the same ground, character-wise, that the G1 Ponies from the original special did, and so to have them along for the ride'd only lead to a lot of redundancy.  

That said, if it's any comfort, there is at least ONE character who helped the Heroes of the original special who WILL appear, and soon. ;3

>>1698202

please say firefy, please say firefly , unless yor talking about the moochik and his smarter than he is bunny, or the fabulous seaponies.

on a side note i really only said maybe firefly could appear since a she was the most popular, and b she dissapeared after the movie, im thinking to go adventuring.

but yes i think i see the annnoying moochik, god help the ponieis if it is

....or i could be totally wrong and your going to get megan and the rainbow of lght locket, unless somehow the mane 6 are going to beat tirak with the freindship beem

...unless you man spikes freind the king turned dragon butt seeing how scorpannreacted i doubt it.

yes as u can tell ive lied mlp since g1 , hel ive even watched g2 and g3 but when it comes to the dreaded mlp baby episodes in g3.5 thats where the line of insanity is drawn.

>>1699557  Yes, I can tell you're quite passionate about old-school MLP, and I only hope my story ultimately lives up that passion in the end. ^_^

awsome an update to this awsome story...keep up the work this story is good

how dare you make the seaponies evil, bleahhhhhh. or are the just enchanted sea ponies due to tiraks magic....

anywho awsome chapter,  cant wait to see who you bringback from the original gang. im assuming you are and not just the seaponies.

would be neat to see flutterponies again, seeing how poerfu they were in the show.

>>1918999 The full story behind this particular incarnation of the Sea Ponies will come to light in time, and I promise it'll make more sense then. ^_^

Very glad you continue to enjoy the story, and yes, there will be another character from the original special showing up in the not-too-distant future.... ;3

>>1920333 i know you prob have your own ideas about how this story should be but by any chance you like this idea im about to give, it would make the plot,and story much more intriging not to mention add more to the story in terms of writing material.

i know you prob want to go a certain direction with this but i doo have a great idea that might work....

what about  having one or more of the mane 6 either a) a direct discendant from tiraks previous attack or b) this ones a total longshot but im going to say it anyway, what if one of the mane 6 or one of the ones in the dungeon is actually one of the ones that defeated him the first time, they prob just dont know it due to amnesia, or they do know it and dont want to tell.  those might be good ideas, but as stated there just ideas. it would certainly bring a little spice to the story but its your story, these are just ideas.

so on that note keep up the awsome writing. i hope this story the best and a very very successful ending.

BTW I CANT BELIEVE PINKIE LASTED THAT LONG WITHOUT TALKING.

>>1924596  You've run this idea by me before, I think, and while it is intriguing in its own way, I still have to say no.  It simply does not fit with what I have in mind for this story's plot and character arcs, sorry to say.

Still, I appreciate your continued support, and hope the story continues to satisfy. :D

And yes, it is impressive, but that's our Pinkie Pie: full of surprises. :pinkiehappy:

>>1920333

Ah, yes. Corrupted Sea Ponies, and a hint towards seeing Angel's Lawful Good Doppelganger. Happiness abounds.

...wait, what do you mean you were hinting at the Muchick? Who cares about him? Are they going to "Double Rainbow" Tirak or something? :pinkiecrazy:

>>1927820 Glad you're diggin' the new Sea Ponies, sorry to hear you're disappointed we won't be meeting Lawful Good Angel. XD;

interesting, this story has been on fimfiction for a really long time.:trixieshiftright:

>>3026146 That it has; I've been working on it for a long time, and still am. ^_^

Glad to see Celestia kick some ass.

>>3029631 yeah, it felt good yo let Celestial strut her stuff a bit. ^_^

>>3026230

Glad to hear it. I was starting to worry. Quite a few of the long running fics I kept track of have had their authors go MIA on me, or had slapped the dreaded "Canceled" tag on them.

>>3267688 Well rest assured, I have every intention of seeing this one through to the end. :ajsmug:

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