Chapter 1: First lesson
"Now, keep in mind that the declaration of generalized coordinates does in now way define the mechanical state of a system at a given time..." the piece of chalk traveled over the board furiously, hundreds of eyes following the movement with wonder, "Or in other words, they do not yet permit us to determine the state of the position at a future point. At given coordinates, the system may have a velocity which will affect the development of the system..."
Professor Henningston turned around to face the audience inside the lecture hall for a short moment, the human's gaze wandering over the countless ponies present, "The equations connecting acceleration with the coordinates and velocities are the so-called equations of motion. Next, we shall discuss the principle of the smallest effect... any questions?"
Henningston's gaze traveled over the ponies' faces with expectation, his white hair and small beard illuminated by the light falling through one of the windows. Seeing that none of them raised a hoof, he turned around again and continued to write on the chalkboard, the piece of chalk scratching softly as it shot over the flat plane, "Before we continue, let me introduce to you the concept of the Lagrange-function. Assuming that this integral will represent the effect and taking account for variations by using these differentials..."
This was the first lecture given by the humans at the Canterlot university and for the ponies present, it was a spectacle in itself. Two humans had arrived several days ago, brought by a huge air ship unlike anything the ponies had seen before and had immediately set about preparing everything for the intellectual exchange that would take place. Princess Celestia herself had asked for it, and the humans had sent two of their most established scientists on behalf of her request.
Throughout the world, it was known that the far-away living humans possessed a knowledge and understanding of the world unlike any other. Those that had the time and the money to afford a visit to one of their cities had returned telling stories of amazing technologies and science that almost appeared like magic to the unknowing eye. Except, humans had no magic, or even the ability to use it for that matter. Not that they needed it with their advanced technology.
On the day that the first lecture took place, countless nobles and recognized scholars from the different pony universities had cramped into the main lecture hall of the Canterlot university, ready to be amazed and enlightened. The sign in front had read 'An Introduction to Theoretical Mechanics', and their expectations had been high. However... what the human was doing at the chalkboard was far more than what they had anticipated.
A full hour later the first chapter, or what the human had labeled his introduction was finally over, and the ponies continued to stare at him and the board with big eyes. Countless equations, differentials, integrals with differentials inside them and little arrows ran over it and between numerous diagrams he had drawn.
"But bear in mind that these problems are best solved in spherical coordinates, hence using the given symmetries of the system to simplify the problem." professor Henningston paused to wipe an old space on the board, "Of course, if you fancy a thrill, you can always attempt to work in Cartesian systems..." he chuckled before turning to the audience, "So. Are there any questions?"
Silence. Not a single word. The ponies simply stared at him with unblinking eyes. Professor Henningston looked around himself with a raised eyebrow, had he been too hasty? No... this was just the standard introduction into the field, the first thing any student would learn and surely, with a solid understanding of math it shouldn't be a problem to understand at all. Maybe he had written something to fast and smeared the board?
Slowly, and with a hesitant look a pony in the back raised a hoof, "Yes?" professor Henningston asked with expectation.
The pony's voice was weak, but in the silence of the lecture hall it could still be heard clearly, "What's an integral?"
Professor Henningston just stared at her, not believing what he had just heard, "What?"
The pony cringed, "I've heard of equations before, but I don't know what an integral is... or a differential..." her voice became quiet as she saw the expression of pure horror on the human's face.
Another pony raised a hoof, "Could you explain the spherical coordinates again as well? I've never heard of something like that..."
Professor Henningston took a startled step backwards, leaning on his table for support as he tried to compensate what he was hearing, "Who..." he managed to choke out, "Who else doesn't know what an integral is?"
It started slow, but then one after another, hooves were raised... until all of the ponies present had their hooves held up in the air. The human took in the scene before him like in a nightmare, white as snow and sweat starting to appear on his bald forehead. A terrible suspicion started to form in his mind, "Who of you have had an advanced math course?"
The ponies gave him blank looks, "We don't usually have math courses after the normal school courses..." one of the ponies commented.
"Why?" professor Henningston asked with a baffled and terrified voice.
"Because it covers all the math there is?"
This time, the ponies were surprised to see the human turn a full crimson red in mere seconds, the veins on his forehead starting to stand out.
When professor Henningston opened his mouth again, it wasn't to talk to the ponies, but to shout at them.
---
A knock sounded from the door to Celestia's chambers, "Princess?"
"Yes?" princess Celestia looked up from her scroll with a motherly smile as the guard entered with sheepish look.
"It appears that there is a problem at the Canterlot university."
Celestia raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Is it about professor Henningston? Is he alright?" She had met him and his colleague, professor Penceleigh a few days ago herself. Both of them seemed like fascinating people, spreading an air of knowledge and intellect unlike any other scholars she had met in her life.
Professor Penceleigh was a highly decorated specialist of what the humans called chemistry, though what set it aside from basic alchemy was unknown to Celestia. She was a kind woman, and even though she seemed a little impassive to most of the things happening around her, professor Penceleigh had a sense of humor Celestia found very appreciable.
Professor Henningston was a bit different. He seemed to be highly obsessed with order and protocol, and the vigor with which he spoke about his work told Celestia that he was a very passionate researcher... but also one that did not like to repeat himself and lacking any sense of common humor. He had made himself a name in the field of theoretical physics, and even though Celestia had no idea what it was the recommendations the humans had sent for him were enough to invite him to the Canterlot university.
"Well... princess." the guard shifted nervously, not sure how to tell her what had happened.
"What happened?" Celestia asked with anticipation.
The guard cringed, "It appears that professor Henningston has thrown everpony out of his lecture hall in a fit and has also insulted many of the listeners as well as their ancestors while doing so... He is still inside the lecture hall and shouting at anypony that tries to talk to him... Professor Penceleigh is already on her way but..." the guard was cut off as Celestia stood up and headed to the door with quick strides. She was going to see what had happened for herself. After all, the two humans were diplomatic guests as well.
---
When princess Celestia arrived and had pushed herself past the ponies cowering outside, she could already hear him shouting through the whole university. He did indeed sound very angry, she wondered what had caused him to become this upset.
As she approached the doors to the lecture hall, princess Celestia was able to make out words in the constant shouting, "Idiots!... Not a single grain of... Heathens!... Unacceptable!" she could hear someone hammer a fist on a table, the force behind the sound making her jump a little.
One of the doors was pushed open quickly and professor Penceleigh stepped into the hallway, shutting the door just as quickly again as another barrage of curses hit it. She readjusted her glasses with a sigh before spotting princess Celestia, "Princess, it is good to see you... although my colleague seems to have different thoughts at the moment."
Something crashed behind the doors, "Unbelievable!" his voice thundered through the wood.
Celestia eyed the door with concern, "What happened?"
Professor Penceleigh gave another sigh as she redid the knot holding her hair behind her head, "It seems he is unhappy with the quality of the basic knowledge the listeners supplied." she saw Celestia's surprised expression, "To cut it short and with his words... he thinks you're all too dumb to learn physics and that he has wasted his precious time... Sorry."
"Too dumb?" Celestia asked with shock, "What would make him think that? Only the most intellectual nobles, scholars and philosophers were invited to his lesson..."
Professor Penceleigh gave her an apologetic look, "I know, but it seems that your knowledge of mathematics... well it's not really math at all, I'm afraid. Your subjects simply lack the very basic mathematical understanding required for his kind of lessons... I've been trying to talk him into giving a mathematical introduction, but he's already upset beyond any point of reason."
"Couldn't you give it?" Celestia asked.
"I could..." professor Penceleigh have her a look, "But I'd rather not... because whenever one of his listeners throws him into a rage with a stupid question, he's going to come running for me next... something I'd like to avoid." Unknown to Celestia, she had been a student in his classes before and she knew well enough how angry he could get, "We could get somebody else to come here and do it, but I'm not sure who to call..." she watched Celestia walk to the doors with surprise, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to talk some sense into him, and then I am going to ask him to give a mathematical introduction himself." not taking note of professor Penceleigh's shocked face, Celestia opened the door and stepped into the lecture hall, closing the door behind her.
Professor Penceleigh stared at the door, "He's going to kill her..."
---
For a few dreadful minutes, everything was quiet. But then, just as professor Penceleigh had predicted professor Henningston could be heard exploding again on the other side of the doors, his voice thundering through the university like an earthquake and making her cringe even outside of the lecture hall. It wasn't just the volume, she knew... she had never met a man that could utter so many swear words so quickly, and he still managed to utter them at a highly sophisticated level nonetheless.
The clatter of hooves could be heard under the countless string of shouts, and the doors were thrown open as a wide-eyed Celestia shot through them and closed them again hastily. She was breathing heavily, all color had drained from her face and her flowing mane was slightly out of order as she leaned against the closed doors with her back and a terrified expression.
"By the stars..." Celestia swallowed hard as the rampage continued behind closed doors, "I've never met someone like that before... he's so..."
"Scary?" professor Penceleigh finished her sentence. Celestia didn't reply, but only nodded as she stared on straight ahead, "So what did he say?"
Snapping out of her shock and regaining her composure, Celestia turned to her, "He said, no... let me correct myself, he screamed, 'Get me Barsley'..." she saw Penceleigh deadpan, "Who or what is a Barsley?"
"It's a who... and I can't believe Henningston actually asked for him..." Penceleigh leaned against the wall with a groan, "I'll write a letter immediately, but let me warn you... If Henningston and Barsley are in the same spot there's going to be more shouting for sure, a lot of it actually."
Celestia sighed, "As long as they're not screaming at me..." she shook her head, "Surely it can't be that bad?"
"They went at one another barehanded at the last science summit." Penceleigh commented with a sour voice, "Wrecked the whole buffet too... I'll call for him if you want me to, but I advise not stepping between them when they finally do go for one another's throats."
"Please do it then, we will find a way for them to coexist peacefully once he is here."
Professor Penceleigh gave a nod and watched Celestia leave with shaky steps. She knew the equestrians were a race living for peace and harmony, so she doubted Celestia fully understood what it meant to put Henningston and Barsley in the same room. They were famous for their fights back home. She rubbed her temples in annoyance, how had she ever thought this would be a good idea?
On the other side of the doors, a chair was thrown through a window with a loud crash.
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This is brilliant, just brilliant. Great job!
GET ME BARSLEY, YOU INSUFFERABLE HEATHEN! YOU DARE QUESTION MY LOGIC ON BLOODY MATHEMATICS AND THE STUDY OF THEORETICAL PHYSICS?! HAVE AT YOU, I SAY! YOU WHORISH WENCH, YOU SHALL BE VANQUISHED INDEFINITELY!
Buck that all, Math + Science + Pony + Angry human Teacher? GIVE ME MOAR!
This concept is so far awesome! Keep going, you earned a moustache
, a like, a fav' and a follower.
Ok kind of finding it hard to believe that the Equestriani have no grasp of higher mathematics... in the current post Luna's Return era, so I'm going off the assumption that Equestria hasn't had their equivalent of the Enlightenment yet so the higher mathematics hasn't been invented yet, plus we all know Twilight would be there in the front row taking notes. This is certainly an interesting approach to HiE, no war, no fighting (between ponies and humans), no xenophobia, and certainly no bronies. Gnoll I look forward to seeing this story happen.
I'm already laughing at this. It's so good, that I can't even remember what math is.
2653935 cdn.dmad.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/vegas-mustache-770.jpg mustache received, thank you ^^
i.imgur.com/kcftnoG.gif
2653968
So much beard!
[img][img]http://www.neozone.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/bouton-like-1.jpg[/img]
2653976 Yeah, that's about the reaction I was aiming at :D
Stories with an angry human are flat-out awesome
Good concept here!
2653968>>2653983lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8JHn4w1cIpk/TYRj_08h-tI/AAAAAAAACaI/BjY1buqHO-M/s1600/1300512761109.png
But seriously update this soon.
They need to get Twilight in there. She had the kinetic energy equations derived in a relativistic setting on her chalkboard during "It's About Time". You need at the very least basic calculus to figure those out...
Or they could settle for a lesser 'science'. They are clearly not worthy for the master science of physics and should go study something simple. Like chemistry. I mean seriously? Just study the interactions of a few electrons and call it an entire branch of science? Gimme a break
Oh my god, this is gonna be amazing!
2654069 I read that comic in Harry Partridge's voice.
This is just plain awesome. I loved how Celestia got terrified and chased out of the room by a simple human with a bad temper.
You owe me a new pair of sides. Now please write more.
"They should've sent a highschool teacher."
2654179 I like this song for Skyrim
Wait. Ponies have airships. How could they have built airships without a knowledge of chemistry, physics, and calculus?
I call shenanigans.
2654249 My friend showed me that so many times, I can recite it word for word.
Gnollreader, I was going to yell at you about getting back to your other stories, but this is pure genious!
Is it sad I understand most of Henningtson's lecture?
2654271
Doesn't take calculus to figure out that hot air goes up. Especially when one subsection of your species can fly and presumably deals with thermal drafts a lot. Not a big leap of logic to go from that to an airship.
I admit that was certainly humorous and in character. Had me smiling.
We've seen that Equestria does have math. (The Chrystal Empire.) And their knowledge seems to be, at least, in the 1900's, in some areas. So, unless the professor is talking about a type of math we've only just invented, I'd be hard pressed to take this lying down.
But then again...something doesn't quite add up.
But hey, this is a comedy. It made me laugh and all's well.
I remember my first glimpse of Calculus and the higher maths... *takes out pipe*
2654416
True, they have math. But you have to factor magic into the "equation" (I put emphasis onto that word because of the nature of the story
) and the slightly lessened necessity of natural philosophy and mathematics to explain nature (at least in the same way we have.). However, it's pointless to discuss this, as the show has yet to provide us with sufficient canon that explicitly mentions these advanced mathematics and the fact that this story's world is up to the interpretation of the author. However, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy speculating about Equestria's achievements in the aforementioned fields ^_^. Besides... perhaps the crazy professor introduced Lie algebra as well. Considering he was talking about spheres at some point (and Lie algebra does deal with geometric groups if I remember my very lacking knowledge on it.) it could be possible that he completely blew the so-called "scholars" out of the water xD. (keep in my my earlier statement of not having much knowledge on Lie algebra).
2654339
Merely a basic knowledge of aerodynamics, several engineering fields, a decent insight on the characteristics of gases and a tablespoon of common sense....
...which isn't that bad. Mostly trial and error.
2654543
Exactly, trail and error. A dolphin can swim and play with bubbles. He doesn't need to know fluid dynamics for turbulent streams along his body for that.
The way I imagine airships where figured out was a few pegasi noticing that warm air goes up, telling this to the unicorns and dirt ponies who tried to exploit this with some cloth. After a while they figured out a closed shape holds in the air better and through trail and error they figure out how big the balloon needs to be to lift a basket.
There we go, from observation to airship without calculus or Archimedes. The ponies would have no idea how it works, just that it works.
This is pure gold!
2654586
Another note:
People didn't say, "let's add X and Y together to do task Z." Rather, people noticed that "X + Y did something that would make task Z a lot easier, and then put it on paper." Of course, there are deviations to this, but let's humor the previous thought for the heck of it.
Granted, that's changing nowadays, but a lot of engineering fields still use trial and error (called theoretical vs. real-world results, essentially) when designing the newest breakthrough.
Side note: Archimedes... ugh, I can never use his principle correctly. I know that the water/liquid an object displaces can calculate its weight and its apparently weight, but I never fully got it down.
From this chapter alone, I can already tell that this is going to be magnificent!
This is greatest thing I've read here since My Little Megas XLR!
Gnoll, did I tell you already, that you are my favorite writer in here?
It's not everyday that you see a human scaring the bejeezus out of the mighty Princess Celestia. So, what if I told you I was expecting Henningston to do exactly that?
Also, reading this story to this sound is recommended:
ITT : People getting too strung up on 'canon' to just enjoy a hilarious, and well written, story.
2654535
It wasn't about lie algebra. It was about coordinate systems. The typical coordinate system you think of is the x/y/z one called Cartesian coordinates, each dimension stands for up and down, left and right, and above and below. But you see, a lot of physics problem is insanely difficult if you do it on this coordinate system. So instead, you change the equations so that it matches with other coordinate systems. By choosing the right coordinate system, you can make many problems easier. One of them is called the spherical coordinate. It is composed of r/phi/theta. R stands for how far away you are from the center. Phi is the angle from center to left. And theta is the angle from top to down.
2654271 Magic, they enchanted the balloons to make it fly. Unknowingly making the air within the balloons lighter than air, but since they don't know what oxygen is they don't understand how the spell makes it fly. But it flies non-the less so they just go with it.
i can imagine the ponies are pretty dumb compared to humans since they have magic, so they explain alot of subjects such as physics and other subjects concerning the universe and such as just... it's magic, or it's celestia and luna that does those things.
so i think his reaction was justified
Does people really take this series "canon" seriously? I mean, even Courage the cowardly dog has a more consistent canon than this... in which Eustace dies multiple times btw. I actually prefer when author takes the liberty to take some parts of the show and make something more consistent instead of trying to work with that mess that some people call "canon".
Anyway...moar pls.
2653968 sweet jeebus, what a glorious mustache!
2654294 silly GordonFreebrony, didn't you know GnollReader is already writing on like... 5 stories?
This is funny.
Uttely hillarious!
That was an amazing chapter.
Additionally, am I the only one who thinks Skyrim is a huge flop in RPG mechanics and feel?
love it, for some reason this level of frustration being directed at pastel colored horses seems hilarious, although sadly this story has suddenly made me realize I have the intellect of a horse
I know for a fact your not(ive forums where plenty of people bash skyrim), but personally I don't agree with that statement.
2656185
I thought it was up to six. I'm missing both Scar and the Purveyor. What is happening to them?
2657691 i bet he's working on them, but The Reader has over 80 chapters, so i think he's running out of ideas for that one
2657700
At the same time, each chapter is only between 1 and 3 thousand words long. LOL. I don't mind if he gets to an ending and stops it, but he left us with a cliffhanger.
2657762 naw, i'm sure he's still working on it. i'm sure he'd tell us if he cancelled it, and it says incomplete
2657777
IK, IK. He really should end some of his stories though. He has quite a few he's working on. I think.
2657781>>2657777 I am working on all my stories, and as long as it doesn't say complete on the story, there's still more to come.
2657843 eeyup
and may i ask, how are you doing on The Reader?
2657889 I will finish the reader within the next chapters, so I'll have time to work on the other stories and prepare the sequel.