I'm just your average teenage brony living in Alabama with an interest in the stupid, the implausible, and the hilarious.
Vinyl has actually led a pretty adventurous life... travelling around the world and playing music for whoever cared to hear, her fame held within the steel walls of her laptop. But for every positive in Vinyl's life, there has been an equal or greater negative, and Vinyl finds her life in a state for which she had never planned.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Intresting... I would like to see where this goes
2640854 thanks, man :)
2640938 You're quite welcome :D
Faved...can't wait to see where this goes
2641217 thanks, man. I've always been a fan of the Taviscratch couple, but I wanted to make something that was a bit off the beaten path. It's like within the shipping community, it's assumed that they are automatically compatible because they both are musicians (not to say this can't be done well; I love University Days with all my heart). But I'm writing the rest with the mentality that they aren't completely compatible.
2641248
I think you're off to a great start
2641667 thanks, man
I'm intrigued....
We'll see where it goes.... Just hope that it won't end bad for Tavi and Vinyl's couple...
Just have to wait and see.
2642035 I'm glad that you're so intrigued, and as for how things will turn out with Octavia nd Vinyl, well... I'm not exactly sure myself
It's supposed to be Vinyl.
265622 fuck, I completely missed that! Thanks
This looks interesting, and I shall be watching to see where it goes.
However, if I might make a couple of suggestions?
* You might want to spend some time thinking up some proper "pony"-style names for your characters. Names like Eli, Vas, Gio, Zimmer, etc. really don't "fit" the My Little Pony universe, IMO; ponies always have names that are descriptive of them in some fashion ("Pinkie", "Rainbow Dash", "Luna"), or at least derived from something about them (i.e. "Cheerilee" is a cheerful cherry-colored mare; "Octavia" is derived from the musical term octave, and so on). The only pony I can think of off the top of my head that breaks this pattern is Cadance -- although even then, that works its way back to something descriptive of her if you translate her full name, Mi Amore Cadenza, from the Italian (although it does take a few steps to get from here to there.) It's a small detail, admittedly, but it's one that just makes things seem a bit off-kilter. A thesaurus can help here; find a word which describes the character in some way (their color, personality, special talent, etc.), find a synonym for it, then play with adding or changing a vowel or syllable at the end until you get something that sounds good. I'm pretty sure that's what the show's writers do.
* We really don't get a very good description of any of the characters. After three chapters, for example, I still don't have any real idea of what Gio looks like, or even what kind of pony he is. This isn't so much a big deal for bit characters like the two fellow symphonists Octavia's talking to at the beginning of this chapter (assuming they won't become continuing characters important to the storyline in future chapters), but a main character like Gio, who's been a constant presence through three chapters now, really deserves some decent description. Even Zimmer isn't very well described, other than "a young mare who couldn't have been more than about twenty", despite the fact that she's clearly going to become a major player through the story as it progresses. What kind of mare? Earth pony? Unicorn? What color was she? What was she wearing? What kind of cutie mark did she have? Filling out these details makes the world and characters seem more "real."
Even just adding a couple of details to the bit characters, like adding a mention of Vas fluttering her wings in agitation when she speaks (which would let the reader picture her as a pegasus, and give them a clue to her personality and mannerisms), gives them a bit more presence and makes them seem like real people (er, ponies) whom Octavia actually knows and is having a real conversation with, instead of just cardboard cutouts.
* You might want to find a good proofreader; I've spotted numerous typos where you used one word where you meant a different word, as well as occasional confusion between "it's" and "its." Remember, just because it passes spellcheck doesn't mean anything. The computer has no idea of context, so it only knows whether the word it's looking at is a word; it has no idea whether or not it's the right word!
For example:
I'm pretty sure you meant "neglected", since you're saying Octavia didn't see the note. "Regret" is an emotion; she can't feel regret over something she didn't see!
You can't say things "silently" to another person, forcefully or otherwise.
You can only "say silently" ("chuckle silently", "groan silently", etc.) to yourself, mentally, as part of your own thoughts; if anyone else around you can hear it, then it isn't silent by definition. I'm not really sure what you meant here, but I'm quite sure "silently yet forcefully" isn't it.
On the other hand, you do seem to have a good handle on not using 's to pluralize words, and mostly remember to hyphenate your compound adjectives, which are two of the biggest teeth-grinding errors I see in fanfic, so kudos to you for that.
2714951 thanks a lot, man! I really do appreciate you voicing your concerns, and I will make sure to address them later on in the story!
I will admit, sometimes being tired will impact my diction and grammar negatively
However, I would like to justify some of the name choices, as they are all music related (although many are subliminally so).
I'm not saying that this makes them automatically more pony related, but it may provide clarity for some of them, that don't immediately click:
Gio =Arpeggio
but I hope you understand a bit better now. And I will take your suggestions into strong consideration when I write next 
. Thanks a lot, my friend!
Zimmer = Joel Zimmerman (AKA deadmau5, who I strongly admire as a musician)
Eli = plural for cello (Celli)
(I did Eli because "Elli" didn't sound right, pony or non-pony).
And... no justification for Vas
2715245
("'Gio" could be a shortened nickname, the same way Vinyl Scratch is just called "Vinyl", or Rainbow Dash is often just called "Rainbow" or "Dash". If you decide to use that idea, be sure to put in the leading apostriophe, i.e. 'Gio, to indicate that it's a nickname, and only use the shortened form in dialogue; text descriptions should always use the full name.)
Gio =Arpeggio
You could always just call him "Arpeggio" to start with; it's as good a pony name as any.
Zimmer = Joel Zimmerman (AKA deadmau5, who I strongly admire as a musician)
A glance at his discography on Wikipedia shows a couple of tracks of his that would make good pony names, though. "Strobe"? "Dark Beat"?
No idea who that is, I'm afraid. Techno-electronica really isn't my thing.
Eli = plural for cello (Celli)
(I did Eli because "Elli" didn't sound right, pony or non-pony).
Pizzicato? Spiccato? Flautando? All of which are playing styles for cello. For a female, "Glissandia." (Or "Symphonia", too.)
Believe me, the (non-pony) stories I've written and had published elsewhere have had in-jokes and homages salted through them all the time.
It's just a matter of being creative and stepping one or two degrees of separation away from the obvious ones!
(Oh, and I see that you dropped by my page and favorited "About Last Night: A Deleted Scene." Glad you enjoyed it! Actually, come to think of it, the first few paragraphs illustrate nicely what I meant about fleshing out the bit characters. Moonwatcher and Colonel Butterscotch have no significance to the plot as such, but by giving them names, mannerisms, a bit of description, and a couple of "character bits" as they interact with Twilight and Applejack (such as the Colonel playfully teleporting candy into their mouths, like he used to do when Twilight was a young filly), they become more than just "the two guards outside Celestia's door"; they become "real ponies" with personalities and history, giving the reader a sense that they continue to "exist" even when the camera isn't on them, as it were.)
2715573 I thank you for the insights into my character and plot "flaws": it means you truly care about where the story goes, and that's really reassuring
.
2716589
That's true!
I sometimes get downvoted for that sort of thing by other people who just drive by the comments pages, see what looks like a huge long list of criticisms, and think "geez, this guy's a picky SOB, doesn't he ever shut up?" 
But yeah, I generally only go into "hardcore proofreader" mode if the story itself hooks my interest enough to want to get involved, so thanks for taking it in the spirit it was intended. 
(Nah, you ain't picky, sugarcube. You're pedantic.)
(That's your new favorite word, isn't it.)
(Hey, you taught it to me. Deal with it.)
(Dang ponies always getting into my keyboard...) Anyway, there really aren't any flaws in the plot; the idea of Vinyl and Octavia having some rough sledding in their relationship is a good one, and Vinyl being tempted by another mare who seems so much more compatible with her interests and lifestyle while, at the same time, dealing with the imminent collapse of the record label, looks like it has plenty of room for drama. And to a certain extent, I'll admit that my criticisms are partly a result of my own preferred writing style; I like to "world-build" and flesh out scenes with details, get into the characters' heads, and so on.
And giving even the "bit characters" a little distinctive individuality can sometimes spark ideas of their own -- I mean, look what it did for Derpy Hooves!
(I thought they said my name had to be "Ditzy Doo" now?)
(Hey, you'll always be "Derpy Hooves" to us, no matter what some nervous Hasbro bean-counter says.)
(...I like beans! I didn't know you had to count them, though!)
(*sigh* Say goodnight, Derpy.)
(Goodnight, Derpy!)
2716669
"the idea of Vinyl and Octavia having some rough sledding in their relationship..."
I'm writing some things into the story that will make it a bit more than rough sledding. Things will get so bad for them. I won't tell exactly to what extent, but things get VERY bad.