Make Your Time
A pink alicorn is seen berating somepony off camera.
"You get back on that keyboard or I will end you! Do you understand me?!"
Yes Mistress! Writing now mistress! Ahem! Where were we again? Oh right, Dash and Tornado...
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"I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria!"
Dash held a hoof to her chin. "Except I'm not a pegasus anymore, prof says I'm an... ali... ally..."
"Alicorn." Tornado supplied, testily.
"Gesundheit. Anyway I got a horn on my head and big gigantic wings now, and I got taller for some reason which was kinda weird... Hay what do you mean calling yourself Princess anyway? We got two of those right now. They're still talking about whether me and my friends count but lemme tell you lady, you ain't one of em!"
"You mean the tyrant and the puling whelp she called a sister call themselves royalty now? Oh my, what airs they put on after they betrayed us all!"
Dash's posture shifted, she looked ready to pounce.
"What the hay are you talking about lady?"
"Tell those two traitors some old friends have a few issues they wish to discuss. Out of respect for our prior friendship we'll give them some time to settle their affairs before judgement is passed. Court will convene in one week, at which time sentence will be passed. They will know where to meet us."
With that, she turned and... vanished? No, not quite, Dash could barely make out a light trail. How did she move like that?
Dash shouted at her light trail, glaring in frustration. "Hay lady, what the buck is going on?!"
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Rainbow Dash flew back to Ponyville, her mind swimming with questions.
Her friends had all returned to their lives for the most part. The princesses insisted their lives did not need to be changed by the physical changes they had undergone. Life was not precisely the same of course. The weather team was even more intimidated by the mare who could now not only clear the sky in ten seconds flat, but could now fill it with clouds in the same ten seconds. She did not brag about this however, she still kind of felt like it was cheating to use magic for such things.
Rarity maintained her shop in Ponyville, her business was booming, and her social calender was packed. Her shop was constantly showing activity while Rarity herself sat quietly sipping tea, her magic churning out dozens of orders for the rich and famous.
Fluttershy's life was the least affected, although the addition of actual healing magics made it much easier to care for her animal friends.
Applejack's farm was producing larger and more flavorful apples than ever. She was even considering branching out into other crops, since applebucking season was a relatively simple matter for her now. She had Big Mac handle the sales now, as well as transport and storage, but she was able to pick the entire crop in a matter of moments.
Pinkie was... well Pinkie. The Cakes had finally calmed down and come back to the shop once they were convinced Pinkie would not be ending the world... at least not this week. They still gave a wide eyed frightened look at times when she juggled the twins in midair while manipulating every appliance in the shop. Mrs. Cake had not been pleased to hear about the endless party going on at the Sugarcube Corner, although she had been somewhat mollified, then alarmed, to find it was not actually at the shop. She stormed up to Pinkie and insisted she fix reality at once. Pinkie had obliged, and the door to the endless party was now folded neatly into a portable hole Pinkie kept in her mane. She went to visit on occasion and had developed quite a friendship with a two headed pony with three forelegs and a penchant for extremely strong drinks in massive quantities.
Twilight, when not visiting Luna and Celestia for more training, was hard at work researching the elements with Professor Cann. They had nearly given up, for every type of divination spell they could find (and a few Celestia had taught Twilight herself which had been considered too dangerous for unicorn use) yielded no results. The elements were inert, and the study of the chaotic magic lead to no further information.
Professor Thissdens had returned to his university, he felt reinvigorated. He was ready now to tackle those idiots who had the gall not to take his class seriously.
It was to Twilight's home Dash flew now, Cann had tried to teach her the sending spell but Dash did not have the patience for it. She figured, how often would she be away from Rarity, or Twilight, or Spike for that matter? This strange pony was threatening the princesses, and had seemed to want to attack Dash herself, she had to tell somepony quick.
She arrived at the library and pushed the door open with her magic, seeing no Sparkle she immediately looked around for Spike. No luck there either. She heard humming coming from downstairs.
She burst into the basement, and flew down to see her friend. Twilight and Cann were both concentrating on their latest attempt to breach the mystery of the elements. Their eyes glowed with eldritch energies.
Dash found her thoughts moving a bit too quickly for her tongue to keep pace with.
"Twilighttornadoprincessesthreateningwhatthehay!"
Twilight ended her spell, her eyes returning to their normal color, she looked at Cann apologetically then motioned for her friend to attempt to make sense. "Again please Dash, but a little slower."
Dash took a deep breath. "Okay so I was out waiting for A.J. to join me for a quick little race when this strange looking pony flew up and called me an insect."
Twilight looked shocked. "Okay... odd, rude, but not exactly panic attack time, was there more?"
"Yeah! She was all grey and she called herself a princess! I think she was an ali... ally..."
"ALICORN." Both Twilight and Cann supplied.
"Gesundheit. Anyway she had wings and a horn and she looked like Celestia except she had a tornado for her cutie mark. She said she and her friends had a bone to pick with the princesses!"
Twilight digested the news about the new alicorn, her coat palor, the fact she called herself Princess Tornado, and her anger at the Princesses.
"Buck me... Cann, I know what happened to the elements. We need to get word to Celestia and Luna immediately."
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Author's note:
Yes, I know there was a lot of stuff in here that could have been covered in the timeskip, I am trying to convey everypony's life has returned to normal, or as normal as sudden magic and flight can make your life. This is the calm before the storm. Welcome to Act II.
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Looking forward to Act II. I have a feeling it'll be awesome
Pinkie, friends with Zaphod Poneeblebrox?
We're doomed.
I hope Rainbow and Tornado will get to race sometime is the story.
I honestly wouldn't have been surprised to see a "the balls are inert" joke in here somewhere.
294835 I had to physically restrain myself from typing that out. Sometimes the low hanging fruit looks so tasty... but no, we must have some standards, well a couple, ok one. We must have at least one standard.
A few errors in this chapter though I do like the direction things are heading.
"Oh my(,) what airs they put on after they betrayed us all!"
"What the hay are you talking about(,) lady?"
"With that, she turned and... vanished? No, not quite, Dash could barely make out a light trail. How did she move like that?
"Hay lady(,) what the buck is going on?!""
Seems a bit odd that Dash is asking her that now when Tornado is too far away to hear.
"Twilight digested this a moment, gray alicorn, Princess Tornado, upset with the princesses."
Very odd sentence structure here. Maybe "Twilight digested the news about the new alicorn, Princess Tornado, and her anger at the Princesses."
"Buck me... Cann(,) I know what happened to the elements. We need to get word to Celestia and Luna immediately."
Overall I'd say slow down a bit. At the pace everything is moving it's kinda hard to keep up. Also watch your commas, they must feel so lonely now.
Hope I helped!
294838 ...is it bad if that's what I immediately thought of that when I read, "The elements were inert."
294874 Sorry, I know I said I would be prewriting things and having them preread, but after bashing my head on a wall for 3 days trying to write like a sane person I decided sanity never got me anywhere and just returned to what got the story to this point. It all came very easily after that.
294874
"Twilight digested this a moment, gray alicorn, Princess Tornado, upset with the princesses."
I think that's actually oka, if you add a semicolon like so:
"Twilight digested this a moment; gray alicorn, Princess Tornado, upset with the princesses."
It's like she's running through the new information in her head.
294947 that was the intent, like a mini checklist, but I fixed the wording a bit.
*pounces the Author and shakes franticly* You leave us with a new princess as a cliff hanger, then she only gets a few lines and then is gone?!
294977 setup my poor dear, more coming i promise, remember these chapters are short but they come quickly, I would never leave anypony hanging.
I just made a bad mistake, I tried to change how I write, it screwed me up. This is a common device of serial comics, the new villain steps onto scene, pisses all over your cheerios, then goes off with a mwahahaha.
ASRARLKAJLFDJSBLUESR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
GO. TYPE. NOW.
Also. Is the title a reference to "all your base"?
295061 guilty, following chapters may or may not contain more, depending on how evil I feel that morning
All Your Cupcakes, Are Belong To Ali-pie
The first thing I thought when I read this chapter's title: "You have no chance to survive make your time!"
So the Elements made the Element bearers the new Elements embodied since the old Elements embodied had been sealed in the Elements and now that they are released and discorded no longer embody the embodiment of the Elements they embodied and in fact were? Cool.
296689 chaos magic is weird.
please tell me this is going to go someplace cool , i do hope its going to have an awsome neding not like the other twilight becoming an alicorn fan fic.
297537 there are about 3 of those currently in production, I can guarantee you mine is different at least. As for cool... Well, I think it is, but I am very unreliable.
And so the chaos doesn't seem to end...Awesome! Seriously though, cool story dude. After all, I must admit that a 6 way alicornication, plus plot, plus chaos, plus randomness is quite the interesting story
. You sir have a great mind. Keep on using it. Let the second act...BEGIN! And don't worry, You're story is cool. That, worry not
. Also to end this, the fact that you put on a portable black hole.................THAT...WAS......AWESOME!!!! Keep this coming bro. Read until the end, I will
.
"alicorn" "gesundheit"
301222 yeah, sorry but I find dash struggling with words amusing. please don't hate me.
301233 I hardly know what gesundheit means, or how to pronounce it, so I personally would have had her say “bless you” instead of "gesundheit"
oh well, I'm not going to tell you how to write your story
301263 oh
, it's from may the best pet win. dash replied with gesundheit whenever something was said she didn't understand. it's a callback joke.
301278 oh yeah… I forgot about that
301263
It means health and is neutral, therefore fits settings more easily.
"A ...Pony with Three Arms"
What does this Imply? He only has Three Legs? Three Forelegs? Three Human Arms sticking out of his Sides? Something else? I do realise it's a reference to Zaphod, but you must remember to Ponify things Properly
322712 oh my, that was a flub wasn't it? fixed.
322728 Heh, It's all right, It happens to the best of us. I must Admit I enjoyed the mental Image of a Pony with Human(oid) Arms (Two around the area where Pegasi have their wings, One Resting along his back) With Lyra shooting Jealous Looks at him.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
They're still talking about whether me and my friends count but lemme tell you lady, you ain't one of em!
-That is our rough-and-tumble Element of Loyalty.
Court will convene in one week, at which time sentence will be passed. They will know where to meet us.
-Well, that sets up the time-limit for the big showdown... of course either side could jump the gun... although I expect Celestia to show up and try to plead her case, simply to get them a chance, because one of the Elements is Kindness, and she is a paragon.
With that, she turned and... vanished? No, not quite, Dash could barely make out a light trail.
-Too fast for Alicorn!Dash to track properly... nice one!
she still kind of felt like it was cheating to use magic for such things.
-Ah... well, at least the weather team doesn't have to look for new jobs all of a sudden...
Her shop was constantly showing activity while Rarity herself sat quietly sipping tea, her magic churning out dozens of orders for the rich and famous.
-Good for her... finally can keep up with the spikes in demand (and of course it is pretty highly spiked... not many people can say they own something made by a demi-god).
although the addition of actual healing magics made it much easier to care for her animal friends.
-She just prefer the hooves-on approach or does she not have Rarity's control?
but she was able to pick the entire crop in a matter of moments.
-Telekinesis I assume?
The Cakes had finally calmed down and come back to the shop once they were convinced Pinkie would not be ending the world... at least not this week.
-Besides which, if the world is going to end, you might as well get a front-row seat...
Pinkie had obliged, and the door to the endless party was now folded neatly into a portable hole Pinkie kept in her mane.
-That should serve as a useful safety valve I should think...
The elements were inert,
-Ah, so definitely not performing their function for generating the Rainbow Deathray FTW. Maybe the Mane Six don't need them any more, or maybe with the previous six alicorns free once more, the energy is only in THEM not in the stones.
She figured, how often would she be away from Rarity, or Twilight, or Spike for that matter?
-Guess she considers teleportation cheating too, or hasn't learned it yet... or the second because of the first. Then again Twilight did demonstrate it is dangerous in its own way. Of course, mid-air to mid-air is the SAFEST way to use that.
umm, awesome much?
She went to visit on occasion and had developed quite a friendship with a two headed pony with three forelegs and a penchant for extremely strong drinks in massive quantities.
hmmmmmm.... how improbable....
How Pinkie really destroyed the world! Silly filly, you can't bend interdimensional space. Of course that does explain why I just heard a popping sound followed by screaming. *Pulls out the popcorn*
Gesundheit xD
This is what I feel like what happens when your stories don't happen this Pinkie Pie comes in and yells at you.
Great she's been discorded whether or not Discord did it is another matter, although Pinkie can easily keep him in line.
annnnnnnd you lost my interest
sometimes, something doesnt need a 'bad guy' dude, this one didnt...would have been just fine continueing on with the 'opps alicorn' hijinx
oh well *heads off to find something else to read*
9249574
Heh. I won't blame you for losing interest, but perhaps read a little onwards before declaring the story a wash. Having an 'antagonist' is not quite the same as a 'bad guy'. This is MLP after all, and redemption is common.