History said that one thousand years ago, the younger sister of two sibling princesses grew jealous of her sister's day when ponies shunned her night and that she was banished to the moon for a thousand years through the power of the Elements of Harmony. However, only half of the truth has been recorded into books and ponies' minds. There was one other who aided the princess in sealing away Nightmare Moon, who without his help and his ancient magical power, would've meant eternal darkness in Equestria.
Warning: There will be some swearing used in later chapters. Also, as I been pulled up a couple of times, the beginning chapters are sub-par. I'll go back to the chapters at a later date to fix them. But, or now, I ask you to continue reading if the first chapters are what's putting you off.
This is a fan-based story, Fairy Tail, MLP and any references all belong to their respective owners. I own nothing.
Featured: 6/09/2014 Best birthday present ever! Thank you all so much guys!
Featured: 30/11/2014 Wow. Seriously, wow. Not even five minutes after submitting it and you guys got it into the featured box again. Thank you all, seriously, it means a lot to me.
Featured: 8/09/2015 Again. Seriously, this is amazing. Thanks everyone or making into the feature box again.
I think you would get much better reception from readers if you took a different approach. You would be better off slowly fleshing details over several chapters. Starting with the moment of Natsu sealing Nightmare Moon, with no tangeants, and hen giving much greater details over several chapters to expand on how he built his relationship with the princesses and fought at their sides, and when reaching Nightmare moon again, then doing the time skip as you planned. It honestly is way harder and longer, but a much more enjoyable prospect to read.
Essentially, all the same things you did here, but REALLY stretch it out.
2631472 Yeah, I tried my best with it being my first chapter ever. I'll take note of that if I ever do another story, sorry if it wasn't satisfactory.
2631721
Oh it is still fairly good, especially for a first fic. There is the obvious focus on aeesome badass moments, and they are well written, but they will have much more impact with a slower buildup. You really hit your reader in the gut when you can tie the emotions you steadily build over time between characters. What emotions you did throw together were fairly well executed, but the impact was lost with its brevity.
2631841Thanks McCloud, that'll help me later on, I'm pretty sure it will at some point.
First chapter was great. Mild errors.(about 3) If I can help, gimme a gdoc of whatever, and I'll get on it.
It's interesting, and you can certainly write, but there were some sentences that were a bit too long, quite a few tense agreement errors, and I was confused somewhat as to the sequence of events. Did we have a flashback within a flashback? No, actually. A flashback after a time jump. Where does the story go from here? Back to the battle, or stay in the past? Flashbacks are meant to be small jumps into the past, rather than a recollection of every event. How I see this sequence of events working more is the battle being a prologue, and then a time jump backwards.
To iron out your small errors, though, I'd always recommend a proofreader (to a writer of any skill level). There's this group which I'm a part of that can help you to find a proofreader. I would volunteer, but I would only really have time to look over the first chapter, due to the amount of work I'm already doing.
Anyway, intriguing story, good writing. Just needs a bit of proofreading and some work on structure. :D
2669099 Well I was told somewhat to make the first couple of chapters bringing out Natsu and Luna's history, so that's what I'm doing. I'll be going back to the battle, rest assured. Admittedly, I believe some sentences are a bit long, I acknowledge that on my mistake. Sorry that I've confused you with my story, I'm trying my best to make it an enjoyable story rather than a confusing one. I'll be sure to take up on what you said about a proofreader.
When's the next update? I wanna see Natsu light a dragon fire under Discord's mis matched ass.
3019945 I'm almost finished with it, give me a few hours at most okay. Sorry for the massive wait, semi-writer's block
I really hate my ocd but why does every human ever in equestria say they like night better then the day when they meet Princess Luna.
3236422 Night is a time of tranquility and given you have just been put in a world of talking ponies peace and quiet is the best thing. Also night is when the 'fun' or 'dangerous' this happen....mostly!
He has alot of power which the ponies of that time feared.
I guess he feels more at peace in the nighttime where no one else can see him.
He was afterall feared by all the ponies except Luna.
3236431 3236585 Thank you and sorry for you two having to answer what I couldn't. But it's true, maybe it's because I'm a country kid but the nightlife is much better than the day. There's nothing to interrupt you at night.
Come at me Bro.
I'm MLG pro
Two or Three more chapters by the end of this week huh? That's quite alot. I hope the quality of the story stays the same.
I'm enjoying myself so far so keep up the good work!
Oh! I almost forgot. While Celestia has been drinking thee for a thousand years, Natsu probably fought shittons of bad guys on his search for Igneel. Atleast some dragons considering he went there.
In the anime his power was already humongous after a year of training. Let alone after a thousand year of fighting:P
3247567 Oh no you've gotten mixed up about something. Not three chapters by the end of this week, I meant by the end of the holidays. I can't do that for two reasons:
A. It maybe the last week of school for me but that doesn't mean I can slack off
B. I can't do three chapters in a week, that's physically impossible for me
Sorry for the confusion.
Also, I'll be making Celestia eat cake and drink her way through the thousand years and something has happened to Natsu but I won't say what. That's a secret
3248613 let me guess. he found igneel, turned full dragon like acnologia, and is now the Dragon King. that or he at least has some advanced anatomy, kinda like Cobra's scaly claw arm.
3259447 Nah it's not that, anything but actually. You'll find out soon enough
3260063 oh well, I did say guess. I still look forward to whatever you have planned, so I shall lie in wait.
3263359 Cheers man, I've got stuff to do at school today so I won't have time to work on it but I WILL have it up this weekend.
3263430 hazaah!
NICE! keep goin and say golden^^
3236422 because we know NOTHING about her, and that lets everyone create a Luna that they like as head cannon, so then everyone Likes luna..... which in my honest opinion is starting to get annoying, also WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE CELESTIA THE ARSEHOLE KNOW?!
3280197 Jeez dude calm down. Listen I did my story this way because that's what it is, MY story, not someone else's. What's in there are my ideas, if you don't like it don't read it.
You missed your deadline for the weekend. For shame!
Anyway, good thing that Celestia finally turns towards to good side.
Keep up the good work.
3286970 yesyesyesyes I know. I keep trying to work on it but every time I do, something comes up at home. It's not my fault, just give me more time alright
3287731 Chill, relax, and don't get worked over about missing this weekend's deadline. You have all the time in the world, so just write when you can and relax. The story isn't going anywhere and neither are your readers. We have patience, so don't worry.
more?
3363908 Yes there will be more. I'm sorry school just started again and I have exams soon so I won't be working on this as much. Sorry
I really like this! I don't usually like cross-overs, there are only a few I enjoy on this site. This has now made the list. Keep 'em coming!
I just want to clear something up. by finish do you chapter or the story as a whole? either is fine, it's just that one little detail will drive me up the wall.
3394971 Wow, thanks man. I'll try my best!
3395010 By 'finish' I mean the chapter. The story itself isn't going to be finished for a while. There's heaps more to come so don't worry.
3395033 copy that good buddy.
What I want to know is, when will we see Celestia's Fairy Tail mark?
3395658 Aww bugger I forgot that part. My bad.
I'll make some edits into that chapter when I have time. Sorry.
does that mean that the happy and funny Natsu is back
I have to ask, do you have a prereader or editor? If not please find one or pm me and we can chat. I love the premis of this story and the sudden shifting of perspective is killing me.
3395990 Yeah, the regular Natsu's back now.
Celestia probably forgot to tell her gaurds that Natsu is coming to Canterlot.
3416457 Oh, you'll find out soon.
All he has to do is flare his powers to scare them off. Or you can save that part for another time (against Twilight perhaps. Considering she is so eager to know about Natsu's true power.) It's your call.
Just like Gildarts originally did to Natsu in this video
(Starts at 07:08)
3417642 one week away, or two?
3446714 I'd roughly say one, one and a half. The chapter's half finished so I just need to do the rest. I have a double study tomorrow so I'll use half of that to work on the chapter.
3446783 keep up the brilliant work, pun not intended!
To Alex, it's me Julian. What anime is this?
3548975 Oh hey Jules. It's called Fairy Tail, it's in the description. Very good anime, you should watch it.
Now to everyone else, as for chapter 5, I'm sorry that I didn't get it out as I had promised but now my exams are finally over and I can get on with it, I've even also started number 6. I can't guarantee how long exactly it will take but it will be soon. Once again, I'm sorry.
3549030 Huh, so it is xD Thanks!
Wooo! Chapter 5 nearly here!
When he meets Luna again, I swear to god I might just cry....
Fairy Tail IS SO AWESOME!
Fire Dragon Night