Fractured

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Luna is not a weak pony, that's what she's been told by her sister.

Yet it's hard. Living with the shame and loneliness. Just like any wound, if left untreated, complications can arise, and like any disaster, sometimes the littlest things can trigger the greatest calamities.

Sometimes, our pain gets the best of us, and we lose our very selves.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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Metool Bard

Metool Bard #1 · May 24th, 2013 · · ·

Honestly, this story kinda confuses me. It's a decent interaction between Celestia and Luna (although I don't think Celestia would snap at her sister like that), but some of the details are murky. Is the implication here that Discord is the reason Luna became Nightmare Moon? If so, what did he do? I mean, I can imagine what he did, but this isn't the kind of thing you should leave up to the imagination of the readers. Show us what happened.

Also, why is Luna ranting about King Sombra? What does he have to do with ponies not appreciating her night? Connect the dots for me here, Luna. Or at the very least, give your rant some focus.

Other than that, this really isn't half bad. I just think it needs a bit more oomph to it.

Creideiki

Creideiki #2 · May 24th, 2013 · · ·

2624379 I thought the implications were perfectly clear, and I'm a non-native speaker with a penchant for literalism . Luna is listing her reasons for being jealous of Celestia:

Ponies giving Celestia credit for their joint achievments (celebrating mainly Celestia at the festivites for the victory over Discord).
Ponies not appreciating her night (low turnout for the meteor shower).
Luna not (considering herself as) being good enough at the things she's supposed to be good at ("amateur mistakes" in the meteor shower, regular artist ponies creating art more beautiful than the night skies, failing to notice the rise of Sombra in her role as spy master).
And, of course, the greatest insult (and framing device) of Celestia being unaware of all of this.

Finally, I apologise for writing about what an author meant as if it was fact, and promise to read Isaac Asimov's The Immortal Bard as penance.

Nyronus

Nyronus #3 · May 25th, 2013 · 2 · ·

2624379 2625491

Actually, you're both wrong.

Luna doesn't hate Celestia. She hates herself. What she's listing off are what she considers her failures. Shes trying to break down Celestia emotionally because she's under so much emotional duress she's experiencing a personality breakdown. Because hating Celestia for being patronizing and naive is easier than hating herself for simultaneously being "weak" and so weak she can't overcome her own despair and self loathing.

Although there are probably elements of jealousy in there. Luna would certainly be jealous of how Celestia can seem to bear such burdens with ease and success while she couldn't. All more logs for the "I am pathetic" fire.

Metool Bard

Metool Bard #4 · May 25th, 2013 · · ·

2625797 Ah~. Yeah, I sorta see that now upon rereading.

That's actually a very interesting piece of headcanon you've got there, mate. Sorry I didn't get it before.

Nyronus

Nyronus #5 · May 25th, 2013 · · ·

2625840

Well, as people say, write what you know...

Fourpony

Fourpony #6 · Mar 4th, 2014 · · ·

“Prithe thee, forgive me.”

Just what does that word mean?

It was hard for her to focus, and these episodes drained her.

Luna's episodes or does Celestia have something going on as well? If Luna has been having multiple episodes, then once everything snaps and Nightmare Moon is on the Moon; Celestia will have to shoulder more guilt. All the signs that her sister loathed herself and all she ever told her to do was rest.

There also seems to be an implication at the end that some of Luna's fall was due to another entity, or is the darkening shadows just tangible evidence that Luna is falling further and further within herself?

Dalkrin-the-Wanderer