The Conversion Bureau: Change of Life

by Hurricane Puncher

A Brand New Day

The Conversion Bureau

Change of Life

Part 1: A Brand New Day

“Wait!” He cried out feebly.

His lungs burned, his entire body ached, yet no matter how hard he ran he couldn’t catch up to them.
“Don’t go! Don’t leave me behind! Please!”

Tears stung his eyes as he tried to chase after the retreating forms. He knew all of them, and yet they were as strangers to him. He could recognize them, but he could no longer remember their names.

He had to reach them, before they all disappeared, before they walked out of his life and memory forever.

But his body refused to function correctly; it was like trying to swim through molasses or run through quicksand. And soon, the shadows that he had so desperately called out to, that he had tried to follow, faded from his vision.

Defeated, he fell to his knees and wept. Now there was nobody left; now he was all alone.

‘But you don’t have to be.’

...He knew that.

‘The choice is simple.’

…He knew.

‘Then why is this so difficult for you?’

…that answer escaped him. He knew what he would have to do if he wanted to reach them, it was a simple choice…yet he could not bring himself to make it. He gazed at the yawning chasm of darkness before him. They were all there, beyond the shadows, waiting for him. He could hear them calling his name, reassuring him that he would be safe, that he had the strength within himself to cross the chasm if he truly desired it.

Fear filled him and he had to avert his eyes. He couldn’t. It was impossible. The darkness would swallow him up and he would never escape.

‘The choice is simple’

The ground began to give away under him.

‘You still have time’

He screamed into the abyss as he fell.

‘We’re waiting for you.’

------------------------

“GOOOOOD MOOORNING NEW YOOORK! This is 106.1 WFM bringing you the latest hits all day EVERY day, and what a BEAUTIFUL morning it is! Partly cloudy with a high of 78, leading into some showers for the early afternoon which should clear up –“

Robert slammed the snooze button of his obnoxious radio alarm. Groaning, he sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The dream, that Goddamned dream, it was always the same. In the past, he would wake from it screaming, drenched in cold sweat, but after having it every night for the past several months he had grown used to it.

Bleary eyed, he grabbed one of the loose cigarettes that littered his night stand and lit it. He had quit smoking after he graduated from college, but like a lot of things, that had changed. To simply say that a lot had changed however would be a gross understatement. Everything changed after the bureaus opened.

He took a long drag and glanced at the digital clock, 7:30am. He sighed and swung himself out of bed. Keeping the lit cigarette in his mouth, he shambled to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast.

Really, he had no reason to be up so early. He worked from home, or at least he had tried once his media design job in Manhattan had fallen through. He hadn’t been fired, in fact while he was employed at FUTUREMEDIA he was a lead designer in the web development department. No, FUTUREMEDIA had fallen to the same fate that virtually all forms of human industry were now suffering, and that was a lack of employees.

In the first two weeks, roughly fifty thousand people had enrolled into the Brooklyn Conversion Bureau. By the first month, that number had tripled, and ten more facilities were opened across the boroughs. Now, six months later, New York City was home to less than a million people, an eighth of its former population. As the people left, so did the companies, if they didn’t just fall through like his.

He poured himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of OJ and shuffled into the living room; he set his meal down, and paused briefly as his reflection came into view in the far mirror. His short brown hair stuck out at odd angles, his unshaved face framed two dark, sunken brown eyes. He looked like shit, not that he really cared. Stifling a yawn and grinding the butt into the ashtray, he reached for the remote and after turning on the 30” flat panel, flipped to the news.

An attractive red headed anchor came onto the screen; just under her on the scrolling ticker the words “New Population Estimate for NYC falls below 900k” could be seen.

“-bringing the new total of remaining humans in the city to approximately eight hundred and fifty thousand. With me today I have Pat Maitland, leader of New York City’s HLF chapter, to say a few words.”

Robert sighed; he had just about had enough with hearing about this whackjob and his little club.

The HLF, or the Human Liberation Front, was a radical humanist organization that directly opposed the presence of ponies on American soil, and saw the conversion process as abhorrent. Shortly after the first bureaus were established, protests were a common occurrence. People were still ignorant as to their true purpose, and thus were fearful. As the weeks, and eventually months went on, the public became more and more accepting of the facilities and ponykind in general. The protests became less and less frequent until only the most resolute humanists remained. These remaining individuals established the HLF.

Robert wasn’t too fond of them.

Of course this hadn’t always been the case, in fact near the beginning after he had lost his job…among other things to the conversion movement he briefly considered joining the HLF. That was until the reports of violence began to come in. It began when a young man, who had been on his way to a conversion bureau in Missouri, was abducted by a particularly radical sect of the HLF and lynched. Although this had been the most nationally recognized event, it wasn’t the only act of violence committed by the group. However the HLF had some very affluent members in their ranks, members with enough disposable income to legally outmaneuver any direct charges against the organization as a whole.

Robert had decided to look at the situation objectively. Here were the HLF, who spewed hate speech and did everything in their power to make people fear ponies, and conversion even moreso. Then there were the ponies themselves, who promised nothing but peace, happiness, friendship, a new life…and all for free.

Of course he could not fault the HLF entirely, there was a bit of merit in their ideology, specifically their desire to preserve human culture and history, and how they had managed to unite humans across all races and creeds. But like most ideologies things were often lost in translation, and more often than not the message was distorted altogether in a mess of hatred and fear.

Robert debated shutting off the television and just getting on with his breakfast, but decided against it. Hell if he got bored he could at least check out the anchorwoman.

“Pat, last time you were with us you speculated that the city’s human population would stabilize at two million, but this hasn’t been the case, any idea why?”

“Pat” was a short, balding man who looked to be in his mid-forties. Maitland cleared his throat and began to speak.

“The fact of the matter is- well really there are two reasons. First, the quadrupeds have been using very underhanded tactics, specifically targeting families with their campaigns. Why try to convert one human at a time when you can get say, a wife or husband and by extension their spouse and children? Second, despite the Human Liberation Front’s best efforts to reinforce a humanist attitude through demonstrations, PEACEFUL demonstrations I might add, we are getting stonewalled at every turn. Our most recent protest at the Brooklyn Bureau was broken up by law enforcement! It’s completely unconstitutional!” Throughout his rant, Maitland’s face had grown progressively redder and it seemed like he would go on if he wasn’t interrupted by the anchor.

“Before you continue, I would like to welcome another guest speaker in the studio today, one who no doubt wishes to argue those points.”

Robert raised an eyebrow. This was new. Usually when Maitland took to his soap box on television, he did so unopposed.

The broadcast switched to a different camera, the new angle revealing a third individual seated at the table with the anchor and Maitland. The purple unicorn bowed politely to the anchor. “Indeed I do. But first I would like to thank you for having me.” The anchor smiled. Maitland’s expression clearly soured.

Robert’s eyes went wide; maybe this would be worth watching after all.

“Now before you present your rebuttal to Mr. Maitland’s claims, would you be willing to introduce yourself and your purpose here in New York for our viewing audience?”

The unicorn smiled brightly. “Of course! My name is Twilight Sparkle. Me and my five colleagues have been tasked by Princess Celestia to tour the Bureaus around the country and speak about life in Equestria and as a pony. For the next week and a half I will be at the Brooklyn center giving seminars to those undergoing the conversion.”

“I see. Now, your response to Mr. Maitland’s claims?”

“Right. Firstly however, I would like to mention that we find the term ‘quadruped’ to be quite offensive. It is a slur that paints the picture of some unintelligent animal, which we most certainly aren’t. The correct vernacular, Mr. Maitland, is ‘Ponies’ or ‘Ponydom’ or ‘Ponykind’ when referring to our species as a whole. After all, we could just as easily refer to humans as bipedal hairless apes, but we know better.”

Maitland’s face grew even more crimson from either embarrassment or rage, both would have been understandable responses on his part, after being told off so briskly by a three-foot talking pastel hor- er, Pony. Robert couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Now, regarding your first accusation, about our ‘campaigns’ as you put them, I would first like to set the record straight in saying we have hardly deviated from our initial Modus Operandi. From day one we have offered ponification freely to all who would accept.”

“Then how do you explain your organization’s recent advert?” Maitland shot back.

“If you are referring to the commercial that has recently started to air advertising The Bureau’s services, I fail to see how we ‘target’ families as you claimed.”

The camera view changed briefly and centered on the anchor. “To those watching at home, we will be showing the advert in question after this segment, and encourage anyone willing to share their thoughts on the topic either by phone (at this a toll-free number super imposed itself near the news ticker), or by web. But getting back on topic; your response Mr. Maitland?”

“In your ‘commercial’ you tell people that they should discuss conversion with their spouses and families, that they should even stop by the center themselves for ‘counseling’, and through all of this you have bright, happy, even borderline religious iconography and sentiment at play in the background. Do you mean to tell me that this wasn’t a blatantly misleading push to try and convince human parents to convert their children?”

“Mr. Maitland ponification is a very serious decision and we at the bureaus understand that. We are merely suggesting that those who do have families and wish to undergo the process be responsible and think of the well-being of their loved ones first. In the beginning there were a very large number of people who simply severed ties with everyone they knew and signed up for conversion. Such actions painted the bureaus in the light of a cult. Actually, I distinctly remember that your organization ran very strongly on that idea for a while.”

Robert nodded sagely. He remembered the legal battles, how they went all the way to the Supreme Court. The lawyers representing the bureaus filed cases of libel and slander against the HLF, and in almost every instance had won.

“For those wishing to undergo the process who have families, we merely suggest that they come to the bureau and speak to our advisors with their families present, so everything is on the table and they can come to a rational decision. As for the supposedly ‘misleading’ sentiment of the advert, I can assure you nothing is misleading about it. Ask anyone who has undergone the process and they will tell you they are happier than they have ever been. I will admit, the advert is a bit…flashy, that would be the handiwork of my colleague Rarity, whose talents are heavily invested in aesthetics. Oh, and regarding the religious iconography, I assume you mean the Royal emblem. That is simply the sigil of the two sisters, the sovereigns of our nation and the driving force behind our movement.”

“You claim that it is a political watermark, yet aren’t those two sisters the patron deities of your kind? You believe that they, in fact-” Maitland made an exaggerated show of waving a hand in the air. “-raise the sun and moon?”

Maitland, despite being skilled in the ways of political debate, couldn’t fully hide the sneer on his lips.

Twilight, who throughout the debate had been very level headed and diplomatic, allowed only the slightest trace of a glare to enter her features.

“Yes, it is true. Both Celestia and Luna are our sovereigns as well as our Goddesses, and yes they do in fact raise both the sun and moon over Equestria. However since we departed from our homeland we have learned much, including that the laws of nature are fundamentally different outside the boundaries of our nation. And, if I am to correctly guess what you are suggesting, no, humans undergoing the procedure are not required to make any change to their faith that they are not comfortable with.”

“That seems oddly convenient, so am I to assume there are now Christian ponies living in Equestria? Jewish ponies? Islamic?”

At this Twilight’s face softened, and her smile returned.

“Equestrian society, despite being steeped in both myth and magic, is in fact largely secular. An individual’s beliefs are their own, and nopony, not even Celestia herself, has the right to deprive someone of them.”

Maitland’s sneer fell away, and his sour expression returned. Robert however smiled. Although he wouldn’t outright consider himself an atheist, he disagreed with much that the established religions preached. It also left a bad taste in his mouth when the religion card was pulled in any sort of political arena; church and state were supposed to be separate for a reason.
The Anchor used the brief pause to interrupt. “As fascinating as this vein of conversation has been, I do believe you still need to respond to Mr. Maitland’s second accusation Ms. Sparkle, regarding the supposed infringement on his group’s freedom of speech?”

“Of course. The Bureaus all around the United States adhere to all the ordinances and laws regarding peaceful protests and demonstration…so long as they remain peaceful.”

Maitland scoffed. “The HLF’s demonstrations have always been non-violent.”

The anchor intervened. “While it is true that the majority of your protests are non-violent, there have been reported incidents of protestors accosting, even physically assaulting people wishing to enter the bureaus, how do you explain this?”

“Any individuals involved with such activities bear no affiliation with the HLF.” Maitland answered flatly.

“Yet, last week, at your protest of the Brooklyn Bureau a man was pelted with rocks as he tried to enter the building. Those arrested not only claimed to be members of your group but that they even walked beside you to the demonstration site.” Twilight replied coolly.

“There is no evidence linking-“

“Surveillance videos would beg to differ Mr. Maitland.”

The human seemed to lose a bit of his bravado at this, some sweat dripped from his receded hair line.

“And there is the evidence linking the HLF to the attempted bombings of two Bureaus in the south.”

“Are you actually suggesting that-“

Twilight waved a hoof dismissively. “Not at all Mr. Maitland, I am merely responding to your accusation. The bureaus always cooperate fully with law enforcement in regards to protests, so long as the protestors also obey the law while doing so.”
Maitland had lost much of the crimson flush he bore earlier, and appeared very pale.

“I think that is a good spot to wrap up this debate. Mr. Maitland, your closing statement?”

The human took a moment to regain his composure and then spoke.

“We at the HLF support those who choose to remain human, as well as those who are opposed to conversion. We are merely a vessel for those who lack a voice during these dark times, we are not terrorists, and we are not zealots. We will continue to strive for a future worthy of humanity, if anyone wishes to be a part of that future, all they need to do is call upon us.”

“Miss Sparkle?”

Twilight smiled. “We will continue to offer ponification with open hooves to those who are ready to enter a new world, to begin a fresh start. All you need is the courage to take the first step, and you will be welcomed…um, that’s all, thank you.”

The camera view switched back to the red-headed anchorwoman. “Stay tuned for the advert mentioned in today’s debate.” The camera zoomed out and the picture faded to black.
---------
A picturesque image of a beautiful countryside veiled in the darkness of night came into view.

Equestria.

The view panned over the landscape as idyllic flower filled fields, forests of green etched with azure rivers, and white shores could be seen bathed in the orange glow of an approaching sunrise.

Home of ponykind for thousands of years, our lands have known nothing but peace and harmony.

The sky grew brighter as humble hamlets, sprawling towns, and grandiose castles were shown.

Truly, our nation is a utopia, a diamond in a very-

Images of human war and strife flashed in rapid succession across the screen

Very-

Dictators addressed congregations, cities were torn apart in bloody revolution, and forests were slashed and burned.

VERY-

A mushroom cloud exploded over the pacific, staining the sky black with its violent sun-like radiance.

Deep rough.

But you need not live in fear any longer!

The view returned to Equestria, specifically a magnificent castle-city built into the side of a mountain. Behind the city’s ivory pinnacles the sun rose into the sky, illuminating all.

For a new day has begun! Soon, your world shall be healed, and will resemble our fair nation of Equestria.

We know that the majority of humanity is blameless for the state of your world, that you are simply victims of circumstance.

We know this-

A large, imposing building materialized through the previous scene. A banner hung over its entrance with the words ‘CONVERSION BUREAU, ALL WELCOME’ in large purple lettering.

and we are finally ready to help.

Quick, upbeat music began to play as the view switched to the inside of the bureau.

Here at this Bureau, and others like it around the country (and soon the world!), we prepare you for your first steps into this new age.

A family entered the scene from off-screen, and walked together to the welcome window. Smiles plastered firmly to their faces.

In order to adapt, mentally and physically, to the radical changes that the world will soon undergo, humanity must cast off its current form-

The mother disappeared through a set of double doors.

And be reborn

A yellow Pegasus galloped gleefully back out, and she was immediately brought into a group hug by her husband and two children, together they soundlessly laughed and cheered. The music grew louder as the image changed back to Equestria.

All you need is the courage to take the first step.

The yellow Pegasus stood proudly on a hill overlooking a verdant valley, her now earth pony husband and two filly children at her sides.

And your reward will be paradise.

The music and image faded into an imposing emblem of two horned and winged ponies, one white and one midnight blue, chasing each other with the sun and moon across the sky.

Paid for in full by the royal house of Canterlot.
---------
As the advert ended Robert shut off the television. The second part of the commercial had reached out to him in a way that made him uncomfortable. He pulled out another cig from the pack on the table, his breakfast all but forgotten. As he lit it his eyes drifted to a nearby end table, upon which half a dozen pictures lay face down. Reaching out to the largest one, he turned it over and gazed at it longingly.

He, his mother, father, brother, cousin, and best friend Michael were smiling. Robert and Michael were garbed in their graduation vestments, their faces split in broad grins, and their eyes sparkled with an ambition to seize the world for all it was worth. As the first tears fell, Robert was painfully reminded why he kept these pictures face down.

None of the people in them were still human.

He placed the picture back on the end table, and briefly reminisced. His brother had been the first, being the family’s progressive he wanted to be at the forefront of the revolution. After his conversion he disappeared, supposedly moving to Equestria. He only sent one post card, from a place called Ponyville, and then dropped off the face of the earth. Then his cousin entered the program together with his fiancee. They too had vanished without a trace. Next, and most painfully, were his parents. They tried to rationalize their decision with him over the phone, claiming that they wanted to find his brother, and that Robert himself should consider ponification so that they could go together. He had hung up without saying a word. Finally, there was Michael. Robert and Mike were both the last in their respective families to be converted, and throughout the ordeal supported one another. One day, Mike had stopped by, dropping off his impressive record collection, claiming he wouldn’t need it anymore, and then he too had vanished.

All of the people in Robert’s life were gone. He knew what he would have to do if he wanted to see them again, but he couldn’t. How could he just cast off his human form so easily? Didn’t his family understand? Didn’t his friends? How could they have just-

Robert’s train of thought ended abruptly when he remembered a seventh photograph, one that he had received not even a week ago. Reaching under the couch, he retrieved a large envelope and hesitantly pulled out its contents. There was a single picture and a note. Seven smiling ponies were framed in the photo; on the note were six simple words:

Please come home

We are waiting.

Robert placed the picture and note on the table. He wiped his eyes and took a long drag off his smoke.
‘Home.’ He thought. ‘How could they consider that place home. Didn’t our lives before mean anything? How could they have just left it all behind…?’

Still, up until he had received the envelope, he had been certain that his family had forgotten him, left him behind in the crumbling world of humanity. And loath he was to admit it, it had brought him comfort. They were still there, and he was still in their thoughts. Yet they seemed so far away, unreachable across the chasm that was ponification.

He sighed and stamped out his cig. Memories aside, it was time for his morning routine. He looked down at his now soggy cereal and frowned. Draining the orange juice, he placed the bowl and glass in the sink and turned to the large sliding glass door in his living room.

With trepidation he walked up to it and, taking a deep breath, threw aside the blinds revealing a sight that would have left him speechless a year ago.

There, dotting the New York City skyline, were thousands of pegasi, their forms framed in the rising sun.
******************************
New York City:
Population: Approximately 850,000 humans….
9,500,000 ponies and growing every day.

Comments

Eeeeee! Best CB story!

Anypony who's wary of the unusual Conversion Bureau setting, this is one of the most realistic and believable stories ever written in the general setting. It's not a self insert story at all, and is 100% top-notch, character driven writing. Give this first chapter a try, and I guarantee that the sentence at the end with the word "skyline" in it will blow your mind.

[Crude Dude]

"Mad world plays"
I would not abandon my home
And would it come down to me dieing human or living as an equine
I will die

[Blatant Chaos]

healed

I would not be a convert specifically because of these quotes of "healing".