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  • E Hay Loft

    Applejack keeps hearing a voice that won't leave her alone, and it's got some things to say.
    2,963 words · 1,749 views  ·  140  ·  5
  • T Tagging Along With Trixie

    Trixie experiences Hollyhoof fame after idiots decide she needs a reality show.
    2,678 words · 790 views  ·  11  ·  4 · sex

Blog Posts7

  • 104w, 1d
    Burn

    I've just rewatched 'Luna Eclipsed' because of the date and all, and then, because eff it, I watched the first eight minutes of Crystal Empire Part 1. I hadn't seen an episode of pony in... months.

    I'm glad I did, now, but I also feel like a guilty fool.

    Immediately after watching, my brain exploded when it tried to acknowledge the existence of this site modeled after the show I'd just seen. It's a strange distortion--a sick, far-out distortion--and I'm not able to fully grasp what's gone on; it's as if someone dropped a toddler in a night club, or something.

    In fact, it makes me feel dirty. I feel guilty for having even been in a place like this when it bastardizes something so heartfelt, sweet, and pure. It's a corruption to me right off the bat and every last little thing I've ever read about Twilight that hasn't been in the show makes me feel like I'd read about an impostor--an impostor pulling cheap cash off of their imitation.

    I know Twilight sparkle--I just saw over half an hour of Twilight Sparkle. And you know what? None of the fake copies on here can match her.

    I can't do this.Knowing the love Lauren Faust and the creators of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic must have for this show makes me extra aware of what's going on, here. If someone took something of mine and wrote or drew something 'fan art' completely out of context, something not even plausible or entirely inappropriate in the universe or canon or reality I'd found, I'd be...

    I'd be downright hateful. :fluttershyouch:

    Hell, I'd even be pissed they were spending so much time on it when they should be out discovering their own worlds, not stitching multicolored pieces of fabric onto a work I've already sown. What an ugly, non-original quilt that would be! What a gaudy, insulting mess. Mutilation is the most sincere form of fandom appreciation, it appears.

    I just can't watch an episode of the show and then acknowledge how much frigging goddam porn and bullshit there is based off of it. It's not something I can do. My Little Pony is a sanctuary, it was meant to be a sanctuary, and people are using it to get off. This is worse than when Jesus caught moneychangers using a temple for business. This is like running a prostitution ring overnight in a daycare center, even letting the clients use the toys. You may clean them off with some Chlorox wipes, but the memory remains, and you can't take back what just happened.

    It's rape. It's a passive-aggressive rape for an audience to approve of, for people to get their physical and egotistic rocks off, and I can't sit around here anymore. No. No, no, no, no.

    The stories on here don't feature the characters from the show... they use cheap Chinese-factory-stitched costumes and stuff whatever they want inside, then beat them around and call them "Applejack" or "Rainbow Dash" when they're puppets filled with sickly meat. You can put makeup on a pig, but you can't call it Giselle Bundchen.

    I might be going off the rails, but I look back at the show, and knowing what I know about this site, I simply cannot justify 98% of the stuff. Sure, maybe the sexual or even adult-humor stuff is spun off of a 'love' of it, but none of that is evoked by the show, and I especially am sure that its creators don't want to acknowledge its existence; if they could, they'd probably burn and ban it all, too.

    Think right now how Lauren Faust would feel if she examined this website. Think how she would feel if she took a look at "Equestria After Dark." A lot of you have probably met one of the voice actors--can you think about meeting them, shaking their hands, seeing their smile, and acknowledging what you're read, written, viewed, or even jacked off to without some guilt or shame? Embarrassment is a burn you can't bury in a circumstance like that.

    We're using someone else's toys in ways they were never meant to be used and calling it love and creativity. This isn't love, and this is rearrangement and utilization for an unintended purpose, not creativity--this is bastardization of a temporary obsession, raping something for what it's worth while it's there until the next sparkly toy rolls down the production line.

    I'm not going to partake in this 'fan facade' gangbang anymore. I became a fan of pony for the right reasons, found a true love and appreciation for the show and its characters, and then partook in the fandom, where I found all the wrong methods and actions, and I'm done sitting in a place where Lauren Faust's children are played with like fuck toys and plastic action figures you can smash against the floor.

    I am out. No more of this--I've served my time in this psycho ward, and I won't get bitten by this sickly serpent again. I sincerely hope those of you who love fiction continue writing and grow to be awesome at the art, if you choose to continue this path. Please... find something all your own, a world no one else has discovered, yet, and breathe life into it as it so deserves. Do not continue claiming love for something this pure and then doing nasty, traitorous things.

    It's not funny... that's just the false excuse we use to cover our asses. "I did it for laughs." No, you did it because you could, and the only way to cleanse yourself is to get off the addiction. Stop abusing this beautiful, pure thing to get high or get off or get your kicks.

    No more mixing alcohol with the kids' drinks. No more raping something so clean as this. "The Library Club" is as true a thing as I could ever write for this place and submit.

    6 comments · 321 views
  • 105w, 1d
    HEY!

    Read these fics, or I'll send Pinkie to bust your skull with her ax:

    Two Nights in Hoofington

    Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea

    The first is for giggles with a side dish of feels, the other is for feels with a cup of ohmahgawd, gimme sum kleenex plz.

    3 comments · 118 views
  • 105w, 6d
    KA-BOOM!

    Well, folks, I just popped over to my story, Hay Loft, and saw that it's broken 1,000 views.

    Not bad for a one-shot! And a feelsy-type one, too.

    Thanks, everybody! Together, we may clean up this site yet!

    2 comments · 147 views
  • 106w, 2d
    "I Let Go..."

    It's time to ask a favor of you all, friends.

    Tell me what fics on here made you truly, completely get mentally lost in their reality. I'm talking senses--full sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feels, etc. Who among these authors have proffered legitimate illusions for you?

    8 comments · 122 views
  • 107w, 17h
    "We Are Now Open for Beatings!"

    Hello, everyone! Despite the hazardous environment and extreme threat to your mental states of well-being, you have all come here, and I thank you for your brainless outstanding commitment!

    Now, here's the deal, ya'll:

    The HQ of Evil Tyrant Magnificent Bastard Inky Swirl is situated on the front lines of FIMFiction. His Bastardry's main source of cattle head comes from new fics that roll in fresh off submission and the feature box; other victims are obtained through much roaming and senseless clicking.

    However, His Bastardry's hunger is not yet satisfied... more stories must be ravaged with Inky's silver tongue in order to gain homeostasis.

    Homeostasis:

    The tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, esp. as maintained by physiological processes.

    THEREFORE!

    I am now opening the doors to the HQ for those who wish to willingly subject themselves to the Swirly Court's punishment and/or mercy. If you have a fic that must be blessed by a critical power higher than your own, usher it forth, and I may take pity upon its poor, weak little shell.

    (In English: I really enjoy helping people whose fics need improvement or a critical review; it benefits the author, the readers, and myself. In making writing better or analyzing it for flaws and strong points of fine quality, everyone involved gets better and feels better. So, if you'd like to swing something by me and see if (and how) I hit it, please, indulge me.)

    Also, if a subject of the land of FIMFiction sees a monster in the woodlands worthy of being hunted by His Bastardry, please point it out, and vengeance shall rain down in the form of knifing statements and hilarious images.

    5 comments · 99 views
  • ...
 95
 8,484

When Twilight Sparkle asks Spike to order her a computer, he thinks nothing of it. But when Twilight begins devoting all her time to the magical device and hiding her activities, things begin to get strange. Spike's fear for his best friend's condition increases as she cleans the basement all by herself - and demands that Spike stay out of it. The young dragon attempts to seek help from the rest of the Mane Six, only to find that they, too, are too enraptured by their computers to deal with Ponyville living.

A forced trip to the basement lands Spike in the middle of the answers he's looking for - and all the shocking revelation those answers entail.

First Published
12th Feb 2012
Last Modified
12th Feb 2012
#1 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

amazing story:pinkiehappy: only complaint is that her name is Derpy Hooves, not Ditzy Doo:derpytongue2:

#2 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211504: BULLSHIT!!!! :ajbemused:Her name is Ditzi Due dipshit......oh and great work on the story!!!:pinkiehappy:

#3 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

Ya, her name is Ditzy Doo. Derpy Hooves is just a nickname.

And I can't stop laughing from this story! It's just too good!

As well as maybe insulting all the writers and readers on here right now in a totally humorous way! :rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

...I feel like I missed something. LOL

So basically your telling us to get a life when we can waste ours in a fantasy one?

Pfft.

#5 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211504

It's both, actually!

Or maybe they're two different characters in this story?

#6 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

So Spike was sent to the insane asylum for being the only sane one? Neat. And knocking him out for wanting everypony to seek out real relationships? Also neat. Are we *sure* Discord didn't get lose? This is like anti version of a MLP episode, where instead of learning a lesson about seeking real companionship and love, it's better to indulge in fantasy. This is fantastic! :twilightsmile: Although I thought they were a little hard on Spike for sending him away, the ending was worth it. If there's ever a sequel, it's were the machine goes haywire or something. Unless that's a terrible idea, then forget it.

#7 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

Greatest fucking thing in the whole world. Congratufuckinglations.

#8 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

umm one thing you called fluttershy a stallion on purpose didnt you lol:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:facehoof:

#9 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211548

Derpy is so much internet slang that I can't even say it without choking, and ditzy is such a stupid word for a name, and that's not even going as far as to remind you that doo---yes doo, not due---is a word used for excrement.

In any case, the makers of the show went for *mental grind* Derpy *sigh* Which makes it official. Because you know, they made the show.

Neither is fine, neither is wrong, but one thing I am certain of: If you keep insulting people like you did here, one of these days someone is going to grow tired of your douchebaggery and is going to cut off your tongue and shove it up where the sun don't shine.

And here I thought this fandom was all about love and tolerance, what a freaking fiasco. This is a disgrace.

Shouldn't there be some tool to report this kind of crap to some moderator?

#10 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211732

I'm not sure exactly what it is that your so bothered about. Also, i'm pretty sure that Derpy, as a name for the pony, originally came about solely because of the way her eyes were. That and it's possible to turn the strangest things into terms of endearment, I don't think anyone really considers it as insulting or intends it as such. The makers of the show did not just go for it, people pestered them about it because reversing the name change upset some fans of the show. I suspect that the outcry is because at some point one becomes attached to the name and characteristics of characters in a show and resents radical changes being made to them. A reversion to the original name leaves open the possibility of reverting the character concept as well.

I don't understand what "neither is fine" is supposed to mean, either. Not sure said person is intending to be particularly insulting either, even if I would prefer more sophisticated language in complaints. What exactly do you feel isn't love and tolerance and needs moderating?

A fandom is never ALL about anything, there are always outliers to varying degrees and to assume such suggests that you are being unrealistic. It would be, in my mind, far fairer to say that the fandom is considerably inclined to such as you noted (due to the demographic, I'm pretty sure it's a particular, non-average, kind of guy that is comfortable being a brony and being thought of as such. Especially if it goes non-trendy. Pardon me if I think that girls are less likely to be criticized about liking the show).

I do agree that a moderation tool would be good, but I'm not what would qualify for moderation by my standards since this site isn't really aiming at a PG rating so far as I can tell. I think that the reporter should have to justify their reason calmly and that anyone who rants in their message should be auto-ignored. The other thing is that asking for moderation is a kind of censorship that may not be the best thing and indirectly prevent people from directly communicating their thoughts to each other.

** Apologies for the huge post, everypony. :)  **

#11 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

this needs to be on EqD!  It's honestly somewhat of a trollfic, but it's an amazingly awesome trollfic!  5/5!

#12 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

What in the sweet realm of Celestia did I just read.

Fourth Wall desimation, Sherlock, IRL fanfiction, carrot-into-donut innuendo with Fluttershy, ninjas out of nowhere, and Spike being locked up in an insane asylum for having an opinion and retelling his experiences.

I don't know why, but I'm getting the same feeling that I did when I read Cupcakes. Bravo for the moral, fantastic writing structure, and intruiging mystery, but seriously, what the hell man. That's a bit too out of character.

Also fanfiction within fanfiction. :pinkiehappy:

#13 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

did not expect that to happen:twilightoops:

#14 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

OKAY! EVERYONE LISTEN UP! WE NEED TO GATHER PEOPLE LIKE DAVID BLAINE, CHRIS ANGLE, AND OTHER MAGICIANS TO MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN!!!!! THEY ARE THE CLOSEST THINGS TO UNICORNS WE'VE GOT!!!!! WE NEED FIMFICTION.NET TO BECOME REALITY AND CLOP WHENEVER WE LIKE AND TO BECOME PONIES EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!

#15 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211732: Just got back....and for your HUGE post take this bitch:

I will be as much of a douch as I want to be. So Yeah...What Now Hater?

Still your story......cracks me up, heh...funny stuff right there.

#16 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>211588

Got it. I personally view Derpy as Derpy and Dinky as another pony entirely.:derpytongue2:

#17 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

I feel like punching something, really hard, after reading this. It's sad that there actually are people out there like the way you've portrayed them in this story. No, don't call me a hypocrite for being on this site; I wouldn't even dare think of going these lengths.

Well done, though I'm disappointed nothing got resolved; was Spike actually punished for this? Your story, but I think an ending where they listen to Spike and proceed to resolve what they've done would have been a bit lighter, 'cause I still feel like punching something.

#18 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

>>211566

>Derpy Hooves is just a nickname

Even after being directly named in the show, 110% canon, people are still denying it in favor of their own fanon? Sigh...fanatics.

#19 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

>>211504 If I followed the info right, then Derpy Hooves is actually a fan given name. Her proper name would be Ditzy Doo. But yes, I prefer Derpy Hooves.

#20 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

On 'The Last Round-Up', Rainbow Dash called her "Derpy".

"Ditzy" is just a fan-made nickname.

Derpy could be a nickname for Ditzy

Or Ditzy could be a nickname for Derpy, but Rainbow Dash just called her by "Derpy"....

And her last name "Whooves" and "Doo" are fan-made too.

Ditzy could be the real name, because for a parent to name their child "Derpy", would be pretty much a huge dick...

Have a problem with it?

Complain to Hasbro.:derpytongue2:

#21 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow.

I'm really, really impressed. This isn't just satire about internet culture- that's common- this is really stinging, awesome satire of internet culture and it's dead on in a lot of ways.

Perhaps a little biting/Juvenalian.... but not completely inaccurate. You were able to make a point, but still be humorous. You have the running jokes: that Rainbow's a nympho, Spike's oblivious, stuff like that. Everything in here ir marvelously clever, and the only problems I found with it were minor grammatical things. Some of the polemical edge is taken off by the amusing end, which I think is good. Don't bite the hand that feeds too hard, after all... (HAMfiction. Clever.)

#22 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

Satire? Oh my.

As much as I love satire, the whole thing was more vicious than funny.

Especially that little bit at the end.

But still, I definitely did laugh.

...Mare-Sues, indeed.

#23 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

This is an excellent example of satire.

>>223712

Except that derp is not a "real" word, but something said when one goofs up. Ditz, however, has a dictionary entry.

From Wiktionary:

ditz (plural ditzes)

1. (informal) A scatterbrained person, especially a woman.

With Derpy being a blonde-maned mare I could easily see informed fans taking offense to the name Ditzy.

But it's a moot point because in 'The Last Roundup' episode her name is confirmed as Derpy. Not Ditzy Doo.

#24 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

I have a sudden, horrifying suspicion that I have been savagely, remorselessly trolled, and in a style Xzibit would be proud of, no less.

This, right here, is comedic genius. Just for satirizing the brony fandom as a whole. Very clever, and undeserving of its current low rating, which I hope the EqD featuring will rectify. In any case, I'll do my part, and award this story a well-earned 5 stars.

#26 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

My brain is so full of fuck right now.

#27 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

*reading Spike's tirade*

*having moral flashbacks*

*brain about to explode*

*DEACTIVATING LOGIC*

*ACTIVATING PINKIE SENSE* :pinkiehappy:

*lasting to Dr. Schach's verdict* -> my point exactly! :derpytongue2:

Amazing read, by the way. Sorta like: "Yo, Dawg, we heard you like fanfics, so we put a fanfic in your fanifc, so you can clop while you fap"... :rainbowlaugh:

Priceless, and educative, seeing most of it is so very true. :twilightsheepish:

#28 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

>>211569 clop fics....

#29 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

this...this story is just, DAMN! after the 'crys' in the bathrom i thought they were like watchin clop videos... :facehoof:

#30 · 141w, 2d ago · · ·

Bahahah.  This is priceless.  Well done, Inky.  Well done. :rainbowlaugh:

CDR
#31 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

I was fine before I read this.  I had a headache afterwards.  And for some reason, I'm pissed.  I don't even know why or at what.

Spike had it right though, that shit would give Discord nightmares.

Umm, great job?

#32 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>212509

Wow dude you are an asshole have fun with no one liking to even talk to you, later

#33 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224337: alright noob, lets get one thing straight.

I'm Dark Lightning.

My OC is in like 5 fics already, I'm friends with 4-5 authors of popular stories, and my OC is a Douche in those stories as well.

I have 12 followers and a story thats coming out great so I don't give a shit what you think.

So I shall act like a douche until I die.

#34 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

Mmmm, donuts.

#35 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224361

well you do that because I also don't give two shits what you think.

And my comment wasn't my opinion it was a statement.

and how am I a noob we are not playing a video game, you tard.

And if you think I care that you are friends with authors or I care about your asshole OC, that makes you that much lower in your mental capacity.

Oh and you have to be the worst troll in your abilities shown so far. The Haters Gonna Hate is old atleast use something original.

and I never said you need to stop being an asshole, you do that all you want I just hope you have a fun time with no one as your friend ever.

#36 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224529: Whatever.

Like hell I care what YOU think.

You're just 1 person out of hundreds, even thousands maybe.

1 person saying shit ain't going to change anything so meh.

I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this whole situation but if it makes you feel better, alright.

Oh and Noob just doesn't refer to just games dumbass, have NO idea why that makes me a retard.

And I don't care if you don't care that I have friends, just wanted to prove a point....but you are taking this to heart for some reason.

And I NEVER said I was a troll so have no idea why you're bringing that up. The Haters gonna Hate thing is old, but I don't really give a crap.

Also don't know why you think just because I'm friends with authors lowers my mental capacity, it makes no sense....but hey, whatever.

I don't care about your OC either- wait you don't have an OC, nevermind.

So what I'm just going to say is.....whatever dude, whatever makes you happy.

SEEYA....dude.

#37 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

Honestly, it was a good idea.  The execution however left my mind scattered about trying to process just what in the hell I was reading.

Also have to laugh at the people fighting in the comments.  I don't think they really got the point of the story.

#38 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224572

I just have one thing to say:

TO LONG DIDN'T READ

#40 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>211548 woa dude no need to be mean brony,

#41 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>211548 woa dude no need to be mean brony,

#42 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

This is so Meta I just want to give you all my moneys.

This entire story was basically just "what if ponies started acting like some of us bronies" and it was brilliantly amazing. Thank you so much for this story.

#43 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

indeed, i prefer derpy cuz i like memes and she relates to the derp face. i do know her name was actually ditzy doo

#44 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224652: THANK YOU 4 agrreing.

>>224629: well i'm sorry but he started.

#45 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

This comment section is now about hate. Please, if you have any constructive criticism, shove it up your ass HARD.

Seriously, you people arguing are the idiots this story was written to. :rainbowlaugh:

(I'm talking to you, >>224716, >>224652, >>224600 and anyone else I forgot or was too lazy to find)

Thanks for making my day.

A note to the author: Yeah, this was very well written and fun to read. I admit I was a bit skeptical at first, but damn, I'm glad I took the time to read this. :twilightsmile:

The plot is somewhat original and I liked the all 'spell made it real' thing.

The end... oh boy. Poor spike.

#47 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

Everything went great... Up until the ending.

#48 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224926 You seemed to fail at understanding my point.

Oh well... :rainbowwild:

#49 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224954: meh....I never was a listener:rainbowkiss:

#50 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224980 Yes, you made that perfectly clear already. :ajsmug:

Just a tip, hot-shot; take it to PMs and stop polluting the comment section.

Anywho, enjoy the 12 year-old kiddie battlegrounds. :twilightsmile:

Damn, arguing in the .net must really complete you guys. :rainbowlaugh:

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