5. Brad and Groom
The Mixed-Up Life of Brad
by D. G. D. Davidson
V. Brad and Groom
Brad could hear his heart thumping in his ears as he walked around the bed. When he approached, Twilight shied away.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she said.
“You won’t. Cadance and Celestia made me feel weird, but they didn’t hurt me.” He glanced toward the shattered door. “What did you do to the guards?”
Twilight sighed and lowered her head. “I got a little carried away. They’re not hurt or anything—it’s hard to hurt a crystal pony—but I threw them around a bit and put them in a sleep field. They’ll be out for a few hours.” She looked over her shoulder. “With as much noise as I made, though, we probably only have a few minutes.”
“Okay, then. Let’s go.” Brad grabbed his backpack and began stuffing it.
Twilight frowned and wrinkled her brow. “Go? Go where?”
“You tell me. But wherever we go, it sounds like we better go quick.”
“Brad, we can’t run away—”
“Why not? You said they’re gonna throw you in some awful prison, right?”
“Well, they might—”
“So let’s get out of here.”
Twilight shook her head. “Brad, there’s nowhere to go. Equestria’s bound by ice on the north, oceans on the east and west, and a desert on the south. If you cross the desert, you’ll hit Camelu, which is an Equestrian protectorate. If you go further south than that, you’ll hit Saddle Arabia, which is an Equestrian ally, and then Zebrabwe, which is another ally. Cross the ocean to the east and you’ll hit Antilopia, which is an ally, and then Capristan, where they kill ponies on sight, and then Griffonia, which is another protectorate.”
“What’s to the west?”
“That’s the Sparkling Sea, which is an Equestrian territory. If you take a sailing ship, the sea ponies will find you. You could take an airship, but they patrol the skies with flying fish.”
“What’s beyond that?”
“Nopony’s traveled beyond that, but if we were running away, we wouldn’t make it far over the Sparkling Sea anyway.”
Brad paused in his haphazard packing. “It sounds like Equestria is a pretty big deal on this world.”
“We’re the . . . what’s the word you use? The superpower.”
“Back home, that means you have nukes.”
“Here, it means Princess Celestia could halt the sun over a kingdom and burn it off the map if she had to.”
“I guess that’s the same thing.” With a grunt, Brad tossed his backpack across the room. “So we’re hosed.”
“The only places we could possibly go are the Everfree Forest or maybe the Forest of Leota—”
“What are those?”
“They don’t respond normally to pony magic, and they’re full of monsters.”
“Hm.” Brad cracked his knuckles and started to pace. “Look, Twilight, I don’t know much about this place, but aren’t princesses supposed to, I dunno, have more power than this?”
“I don’t have a kingdom yet, Brad. I’ve made some new laws in Ponyville—as experiments, you could say—but only because the mayor lets me. Even if I did have a kingdom of my own, I would still answer to Celestia and Luna, like Cadance does.”
“Because this ‘Crystal Empire’—”
“Is an Equestrian territory. It’s not really an empire, and I know that’s confusing, but the name’s traditional.”
“This kingdom you’re supposed to rule, where will it be if all the lands everywhere are already taken?”
Twilight smiled and shrugged. “When Cadance was ready to rule, the Crystal Empire reappeared after it had been gone for a thousand years. Whenever I’m ready, my kingdom will be ready, too. The settler ponies in the San Palomino Desert have several new towns and might need a princess. The Mustangs of Mustangia might be ready to settle down. Or maybe my kingdom will be somewhere else entirely. Who knows?”
Brad stopped pacing, looked at her for a while, and stepped toward her. She stepped back.
“Somewhere else entirely?” he asked. “Like where?”
“Never mind that for now. How do you feel?”
“Fine. Stand right there.”
Slowly, keeping his eyes on her, he walked in a circle around her. With pink forming in her cheeks, she ducked her head, shuffled, and lifted her hooves, one after the other, as if trying to hide herself from his gaze.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asked.
“Am I making you uncomfortable, is the question.”
“Not yet.” He drew a little closer and walked around her again.
“I sort of wish I’d put on a dress to come see you.”
“Much as I always liked seeing you in a dress, I thought you didn’t usually wear clothes here.”
“I don’t, but I always wore them with you.”
“I told you not to be embarrassed.”
“I am anyway.”
“You have fur, so you’re dressed.” He tightened his circle again and kept walking. “Twilight, have I ruined your chance to have a kingdom?”
Twilight shook her head. “You didn’t do anything, Brad. It was me. But it’s not over yet: Princess Cadance and Princess Celestia are going to do what they can to make sure this turns out okay.”
“Really? I got the impression Cadance didn’t like me much.”
“You got the wrong impression. She likes you a lot. I’m not sure if Cadance can dislike. She even says nice things about Chrysalis, who trapped her in a cave and tried to steal my brother from her.”
“Guess I won’t let her high opinion of me go to my head, then. Sounds like this place is dangerous—”
“Maybe it is, but so is your world. Nopony here ever gets shot with a gun or blown up with a bomb. We haven’t had a real war for about three millennia. Magistrates deal with thefts or brawls from time to time, and there are a lot of land disputes, but there hasn’t been a murder in Equestria for twelve years. I’d never even heard the word rape until I went to the human world, and I can’t tell you how much it scared me when I found out what it meant! We do have monster attacks, but there are other problems we don’t have.”
“If things are that good here, kidnapping must seem pretty bad, huh?”
“Yes, it’s pretty bad. About the worst, really.”
Brad drew closer again and made another lap. He felt a twinge in his heart, but he couldn’t quite identify it. “And you’re sure that running away—”
“We’ve got Celestia and Luna on our side, and they’re the highest princesses in the land. Princess Cadance is going to be pulling for us, and I’m on very good terms with King Leo of Aquastria. That’s the four most important members of the Council.”
He tightened his circle again as he continued his walk. The twinge grew to a stab, and warmth flooded his limbs. “So who’s against us?”
“Well . . . it’s hard to say. I’m not sure about the noble families. I don’t know what the Weather Board of Cloudsdale will do. The Sacred Order of Timekeepers will fight Cadance—”
“Who are they?”
“They keep track of time in Equestria and make sure all the days are the right length, but they don’t like alicorns very much.”
“Hm.” He took a deep breath and clutched his chest, trying to loosen a tight knot that had formed there. He stumbled, but kept walking.
“The Timekeepers don’t like anypony much,” Twilight said. “It’s complicated.”
“I see. Who else?”
“Well, there are also the Geldings. Usually, the Geldings disagree with the Timekeepers on everything, but they might agree with them this time.”
“Geldings? Does that word mean what I think it means?”
“Geldings believe the ponies have only one true Queen. She’s supposed to come back someday, so, in honor of her, they try to be more, um, feminine, and they cut off their . . . well, you know—”
“This place is weird, Twilight.”
“You’ll get used to it. Anyway, the Geldings consider the alicorns usurpers, kind of, so they might not be very sympathetic.”
“What kind of influence do they have?”
“They’re Princess Celestia’s personal staff.”
“But she’s one of these alicorns, right?”
“Yes.”
“But the Geldings don’t like alicorns.”
“Like I said, it’s complicated.”
The knot in his chest eased and became a strong but not entirely unpleasant ache. The warmth intensified, but didn’t become painful, and the tense muscles in his shoulders relaxed. He swayed as he walked, and his words slurred. “What is an alicorn, anyway?”
Twilight followed him with her eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t come so close—”
“I think I should. I feel . . . good.”
As they had talked, he had been gradually spiraling inward toward her. Now, at last, only a foot away, he slid to his knees, looked in her eyes, and smiled. “Hi, honey. You look different today. Did you change your hair?”
She laughed, but blushed again. “Be honest with me, Brad. How do you feel? You have me worried, you know. I’ve barely slept the last few days.”
He shrugged. “Right now, I feel better than I have for a while.”
“But I must do something to you if Cadance and Celestia did.”
He shook his head and felt a broad grin spread on his face. “I’m honestly not sure. I feel calm. I feel peaceful. I feel warm and happy. I don’t know if that’s some magical aura thingamajig, or just you finally being here with me.”
She raised one eyebrow and shrank back. “You’re sure you’re all right?”
“Pretty sure.”
She rubbed her chin. “It might actually make sense . . . Celestia moves the sun and rules all of Equestria, and she made you fall on your face. Cadance is the princess of love, and she says she makes you all sweaty—”
“I wouldn't go that far. So what are you princess of?”
“Friendship. Do you feel friendly right now?”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “Yes, that’s it. You make me feel friendly.”
“Would you Pinkie promise that you aren’t in pain or anything?”
“Pinkie promise? Is that the thing Paulina used to do?”
“It’s a little different—”
He made an “X” across his chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. You are not making me feel bad.”
“Well, I suppose that’s close enough,” Twilight said.
Then she jumped him.
With the wind knocked from his lungs, Brad fell backwards and cracked his head on the hard floor as Twilight forcefully shoved her muzzle against his neck. It felt as if he were being nuzzled by an especially large and affectionate dog. When she had been human, whenever he had held her, he had marveled at how small and frail she had felt in his arms, and he had always found himself consumed by an overwhelming desire to protect her. That had certainly changed: as a pony, she was much larger and obviously much stronger than he was.
“I’ve missed you so much!” Twilight cried. She fell back onto her haunches, wrapped her fetlocks around his shoulders, and pulled him up, crushing him against her breast and pressing his face into her fur. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to be back in this body. When I was human, it was like half the world had been cut off! I can finally smell you.” She pressed her muzzle against his neck again, and he could feel her hot, moist breath.
She paused and pulled her head back. “Are you wearing rear end spray? You know that stuff is for mares, right?”
“Twilight,” he gasped, “you’re squishing me—”
“Oh!” She dropped him, and he fell hard on his rump. “I’m sorry, Brad! I’m still getting used to having my old body back.” She tilted her head to one side. “Wow, you really seemed so much . . . bigger to me when I was human. I hadn’t realized it when you were walking around, because you looked so tall—”
She leaned toward him and placed a hoof to his cheek. It felt hard and rough, but some sort of supple surface in its center undulated against his cheekbone. “Are you eating enough?” she asked. “You always had trouble keeping your weight up—”
Feeling lightheaded, he nodded and gently pushed her hoof away. “They’re feeding me regular meals, but I guess there aren’t a lot of calories in ’em.”
Offering her a strained smile, he sat up and gingerly reached out to touch the pink stripe in her forelock. Her hair, at least, still looked and felt the same, though her severely straight bangs now parted in the middle to make room for her horn.
Brad stared in fascination at Twilight’s ears, which he had watched throughout their conversation. Whenever she spoke, her ears, independent of each other, swiveled back and forth, perhaps searching for the sound of anyone approaching from the hall. But when he spoke, both ears snapped toward him. On impulse, he slid his fingers back to her left ear and stroked it.
Twilight’s left eye twitched. She pushed her head against his hand, and her lips went slack. “Um . . . you can keep doing that if you want . . .”
Feeling his face heat up, Brad pulled his hand away and scooted back a few feet. He wrapped his arms around his knees, intertwined his fingers, and stared at the floor in silence. When he glanced at Twilight, he saw tears forming in her eyes, though she appeared to be trying to hold them back.
“It bothers you, doesn’t it?” she said.
He looked away. “Of course not.”
“Brad, be honest. We were both human up until a few days ago, and we’ve hardly seen each other since then, and you’re in a new world where you’ve been locked in a room, and I’m going on trial in a few days—”
“Okay, you’re right.” He flopped onto his back. “I’m not just bothered, Twilight. I’m burnt out.”
She ran a hoof along his shoulder. It didn’t feel pleasant, and, without thinking, he pushed it away again before he realized that might hurt her feelings.
She turned and rose to her feet. “Maybe it’s better if I just go—”
“No, Twilight, wait!” He shot up onto his knees, slid across the floor to her, and wrapped his arms around her neck. He couldn’t help but think that this felt more like petting an animal than like holding his girl, but he shoved that thought aside. “Look, I’m confused as heck and don’t know what to think of any of this, but I at least know I want you around.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t make you uncomfortable?”
“You have always made me uncomfortable. That’s why I want you around.”
She lifted a foreleg, somehow turned her knee backwards, and cupped a hoof over his left hand. That pliable substance on her hoof’s inside somehow ballooned around his fingers and hardened, so his hand was locked in place. “We’ll figure this out, Brad. I don’t know the spell for it right now, but, somehow, there has to be a way to turn you into a pony.”
His heart stopped a moment, and a thick lump formed in his throat. “Twilight.” His voice sounded strangely tinny in his ears. “I don’t think I—”
Her face lined with worry, she turned her head to look at him, and her muzzle brushed against his nose.
“—I don’t think I can wait,” he said, forcing a laugh and rubbing the back of his neck.
She smiled. “I will figure it out. I am one of the most magical uni—well, no, I’m an alicorn now, with even more magic. Yes. I’ll definitely figure it out.”
Brad pulled back from her and extracted his hand from her hoof’s curious grip. He found himself looking at her hair again: it did indeed look much as it had when she was human, except it was shorter: her human hair had stretched all the way to her lower back, but her pony mane, though it ran the whole length of her crest, hung no lower than her shoulder.
He got an idea. Blushing a little and rubbing his neck again, he said, “Um, Twilight, would you mind if . . . ?”
“If what?”
“If I brushed your hair?”
A smile spread slowly over her face. “Why do you want to brush my hair?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
He shrank back and peeked at her through one half-opened eyelid, as if afraid she’d hit him. “Because you’re a pony?”
She laughed. “Okay, sure. Why not?”
“All right! Just a second.” He jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and ransacked the rack of supplies. He walked back out with his arms full. “Okay, I admit I don’t know what most of these are—”
“Bring them here,” Twilight said. She went and sat on the floor in front of the chaise longue. Brad walked over and dropped several brushes, bottles, and unidentified objects onto the floor beside her.
As if behind a sheet of water, Twilight’s horn shimmered. It gave off a bright purple light, and one of the bottles levitated. A harsh whine filled the air, and Brad clapped his hands to his ears.
Twilight swiftly stopped the spell, and the bottle hit the floor with a dull clink. “I’m sorry! It’s habit! I forgot your magic thingy!”
“No, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing a knuckle against one ear. “I guess, sooner or later, I gotta get used to it—”
“I’ll just learn to use my hooves more.” With one hoof, Twilight scooped up the bottle and read the label. “‘Goops for Stuff Apple-Carrot Deep Mane Conditioner.’ Well, they’re giving you top-of-the-line products, I see. Goops for Stuff is very expensive.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. My friend Rarity helped them develop their production line.”
At random, Brad picked up one of the brushes he’d dropped. “So, do I use this?”
“Brad, that’s a body brush.”
“Right. I knew that.” He searched around his small pile and came up with a brush with thick, plastic nubs.
“And that’s a curry brush. I think you want this one.” She took a pink hairbrush in her hoof and passed it to him.
“Of course I do. I was testing you.” He sat down on the chaise longue behind her. She settled her back against his shins, and he began to comb.
She tipped her head back, and he could feel tension drop from her neck. “That really does feel nice.”
“Does it?”
“Mm hm. I’ve been really stressed out lately. I’m afraid I might have had a fight with Princess Celestia. I’ll tell you about it later.”
He continued to brush her in silence. Her hair was thick, but fine, and it combed easily. As he combed, Twilight, always incapable of tolerating chaos, organized the bottles and other items into rows.
“Brad,” she said, “if they’re giving you all these products, why exactly are you wearing a spray for mares?”
“The stuff is supposed to be an odor mask, right—?”
“Right.”
“So how in the world can it work if you instantly recognize it?”
Twilight laughed.
“Look, it’s the closest thing to Old Spice I could find in there, so unless you want to figure out how to open a portal back to my world and get me a proper deodorant stick, you’re stuck with it.”
“You might want to reconsider. Ponies’ noses are much more sensitive than humans’. What you smell like sends a message the same way your clothes or hair or posture do.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
He leaned his face down against the top of her head and inhaled deeply.
“Hey!” she cried.
“I don’t think I’m getting the message.”
“That’s because you don’t have the nose for it. What do you smell?”
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“Horse.”
“What else?”
“Um . . . some kind of flower, and maybe pine?”
“It’s acacia, periwinkle, and arborvitae. That’s my perfume. But if another pony took a whiff like that, she could not only identify my perfume, but could also tell what mood I was in and what I had for lunch.”
“Wow.”
“And the perfume is important, too.” She put a hoof to her breast. “You met Cadance, right? Her special talent is love, so she wears rose, honeysuckle, and chrysanthemum. Do you know what the scents I’m wearing represent?”
He shook his head and continued brushing. “Not a clue.”
“Friendship. It’s my identifier, I guess you could say. My signature. If I’m acting in my role as princess, my perfume is as important as my tiara or bell boots. Ponies change their perfumes to communicate with each other. It might be a good idea to learn some floral scents so you can get a basic idea of how it works.”
“Okay, so what does the smell I’m wearing say?”
“It says you’re in heat and want to cover it up. It’s very confusing.”
Brad chuckled. “I still don’t get it. If you know exactly what the stuff is and what it’s supposed to hide, why would a mare bother wearing it?”
“Well, it wouldn’t smell quite so strong if you used it right, but you’re missing the point.”
“What is the point?”
Her cheeks turned red, and Brad suddenly found himself wondering how it was he could see her blush through her fur. “It’s to keep stallions from getting the wrong idea, all right?”
“It says, ‘I’m not available.’”
“Basically.”
“I’ll just keep wearing it, then, so all the ponies know I’m with you.”
“You are so frustrating sometimes, Brad.”
With a laugh, he cupped his fingers around one of her ears and fondled it.
She sighed. “And . . . I lost my train of thought. Wow, I really am going to miss your hands when you become a pony. Oh, I remember what I was going to say—if you want to send the message that you’re with me, you should blend my perfume with a hint of musk and wear that. That would tell everypony that you’re my very special somepony. I could have that mixed up for you if you want.”
“Well, I’m not big on smelling like flowers, but it sounds like that might be a better idea than what I’m doing now.”
Twilight turned sideways and laid her head against his knees. He set down the brush, leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around her neck.
“I’m exhausted,” she whispered. “And I’m scared.”
“Me too.”
He held her for a moment in silence, but then she started chuckling.
“What?” he asked. “What is it?”
She jumped up beside him on the chaise and reached for a small book on the coffee table. “Is this what I think it is?” Fumbling with her hooves, she flipped the book open. “How to Nuzzle a Mare? You’re reading this?”
His face grew hot. “It’s not mine. Somebody must’ve left it there.”
Twilight laughed again and peered down the spine as if sighting along a gun barrel. “I think this is the same copy! Cadance caught me with this when I was little.”
“Really? It doesn’t seem like your type of book.”
“You know I like all kinds of books.”
“That one still doesn’t seem like your type.”
“Why not? It has lots of interesting factoids about facial anatomy.”
“Ah, I stand corrected.”
She flipped through the pages, snorted at some of the illustrations, and said, “I got the biggest lecture for this. Cadance insisted the whole book was junk. She said its only valuable advice was the part about using breath mints.”
“She’s the love princess, right? I guess she oughta know.”
“She didn’t let my brother kiss her until after they were married, but even long before that, she still claimed this book was all wrong.”
“So she didn’t really know what she was talking about—”
“Actually, I think she got it right. She said the problem wasn’t any particular thing in the book. She said the problem was the whole idea of writing an instruction manual on kissing in the first place.” Twilight laid a foreleg across Brad’s shoulders. “Do you remember our Shakespeare class?”
“I remember you went crazy with Shakespeare. I also remember thinking it was really weird that you’d never heard of him before.”
“Anyway,” said Twilight, “when we studied Romeo and Juliet, I kept thinking of this. There’s that line in there, ‘You kiss by the book’—”
“Ah, right,” said Brad. “I had no idea what that meant. Of course, I had no idea what any of it meant, and that’s why I got a ‘C’ in that class—”
“Before Romeo was in love with Juliet, he was in love with the idea of love, so he did everything based on the romances and poems he knew. But falling in love with Juliet changed all that, and things couldn’t go as he planned them. Real life is messy. In real life, you can’t kiss by the book—”
Twilight’s voice faded, and her hot breath tickled Brad’s neck. He turned his head to look at her and found her eyes closed and her muzzle very close to his face. He stared at her decidedly equine lips and nose and swallowed hard.
With a faint gasp, she leaned toward him. He tried to scramble away, and she fell on top of him.
“Agh! Twilight, you’re too heavy—!”
“Oh, I’m sorry! Are you okay?” She quickly put down her front hooves and lifted most of her weight off of him.
He sucked in a deep breath and tried to rub the pain out of his ribs. “Oh, wow, what do you weigh—? No, wait, sorry, I know you never ask a girl that—”
Brad was interrupted when a new voice thundered, “Twilight Sparkle!”
Like naughty children caught playing doctor behind the garage, Twilight and Brad looked up toward the room’s shattered doorway. There stood Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance, both with scowls on their faces.
With a loud crash, Twilight tumbled to the floor and then quickly jumped to her hooves. Brad sat up and tried to straighten his clothes. At the sight of Celestia, his pulse began pounding and his head felt light again.
“Your Majesty,” Twilight blurted, “I’m so, I mean, how surprising, I mean, you’re here—”
“And why are you here?” Celestia snapped.
Twilight paused, but then hung her head. “I . . . just wanted to see Brad—”
“And you decided breaking and entering was the best way to do it?”
“I . . . no. I mean, maybe—”
Celestia walked into the room. Brad, tugging his collar, jumped from the chaise and stumbled away from her.
“Twilight,” Celestia said, “you are a princess of Equestria. It would do a great deal for my peace of mind, and would also do a great deal for your case before the Council, if you could act like a princess instead of like a schoolfilly in her first heat.”
Twilight dropped her head all the way to the floor and closed her eyes. She whispered, “Yes, Princess.”
Celestia glanced at Brad. Again, he could feel her eye digging deep into his heart. He staggered, but he didn’t faint, and he kept his feet.
“You are both called to Canterlot,” Celestia said. “The Cosmic Council will soon be in session. Brad, pack your things. Twilight, come with me.”
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You tease! While brushing is good, I wanted pony kisses! You deal well with what the physical awkwardness and size difference too.
I like the references to other canon. It's nice how you make it all fit together. I suppose this won't fit in with A Mighty Demon Slayer, since you've mentioned that is going to stay with Equestria Girls canon, but having an alternate universe isn't horrible.
I don't have a sense of smell, so I'll leave the sections on scent for someone else to comment on. They're lost on me, although that is entirely my fault.
I think its hilarious that everypony keeps bringing up the odor mask
2668730
This is "Chronoverse," which accepts all the expanded universe materials like the novels and comics, but Chronoverse stories are independent of each other, and the Chronoverse is always evolving. This story will be jossed when Equestria Girls comes out, but that doesn't matter, as this is based on fan speculations and rumors rather than the real EG. A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies is more rigorous with canon, so Twilight Sparkle's chapter is on hold until EG comes out.
I hope that the heat spray thing gets resolved. It's old now that Twilight's explained it.
2668796, 2668993
The entire reason I used that running gag in the first place was to introduce the ponies' perfume language.
2669011 Either way, it's over now.
Also, I don't see why you left out two other important groups in the council. I mean, I may not like them, But the Unicorn Liberation Front would definitely have something to say about the only confirmed formerly-Unicorn-Alicorn being imprisoned for anything. After all, It was them who forced Celestia (at Daggerpoint, I might add) to rename the Element of Unity the Element of Magic. And nobody forgets the Choosers. They will always give the offended the option to drop charges, provided they want to.
I wonder if you are going to put an scene with Twilight´s family in Canterlot. After all, I cannot imagine Shining, Velvet and Night Light not being worried/angried about this.
And poor Spike; it would be nice if you put a scene where he exposes his perspective of the human world on the body of a dog.
Oh, snap.
By Jove, I'm really falling in love with this story you've crafted here.
The up vote to down vote ratio is not indicative of its quality. Although, I suppose that might be expected due to the reactionary nature of certain fans to anything even remotely related to Equestria Girls... this is simply good HiE. And that's hard enough to come by that people should simply appreciate the story for what it is, rather than what they - wrongly - expect it to be.
I love the characterization you're developing for Brad here. He seems like a real person... a genuinely confused kid who's finding out the world - and his own feelings - are far more complicated than he ever thought they'd be. Something that happens to every kid that age, but exacerbated by the fact that he's now such a fish out of water that he's more like a frog in the ocean... completely out of his depth and in an environment that's partially inherently damaging to him.
The point is: he feels like a person rather than just a vector for pony-lovin' or a mask for the audience to wear.
This rating you've accrued is patently unfair considering the quality of the story and writing... but hopefully you know that many of us appreciate what you're doing here. Thank you for your continuing efforts, and I eagerly wait to read the next update from you.
I was kind of curious about the strength of their relationship, but they are really honest with one another (at least he might be about the whole change into pony thing). That's a good thing.
About the adaptability of humans, when a single human is by themselves it really is a flip of a coin if they can overcome their situation. Can never tell how people might react under pressure. Generally speaking if they are with someone else then they do a whole lot better. Brad has Twilight, he should be fine.
Hilarious chapter. Funny to see the couple interact with not only the physical difference, like Twilight not being able to lean her body against Brad as she used to when she was as human and kissed, but as well as the cultural difference with human and pony with how Brad did by brushing Twilight's hair and rubbing ears.
It's a nice touch to give details about the world's geographical locations about where the country of Equestria lies and what other countries lay nears by. Good too with information about the faction parties that holds quite the influence with Equestria, as they can ultimately decide Princess Sparkles fate. Interesting concept behind the Geldings, by the way, quite the idea with having a castrated pony.
Seeing how Twilight had acted throughout in this chapter, and how it ends Celestia making a comment about her behavior, I can't help but wonder if she had some sort of temporarily 'phasing illness' for when she changed back from a teenaged body of a human to that of having her matured body of a pony once again. Either way, I wonder if Brad has truly grasped the concept about how pony behavior system works with mares, such as when they are in heat.
Overall, an amusing and funny chapter with the couple acting together in such a awkward manner. Can't wait to see more when you have the chance. Keep up the good work.
Excellent! I NEED MORE!
MORE! 
Akward....
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Thank you. That's very encouraging. After the story's most recent stint on the front page, it received three fresh downvotes before it received even one new hit, so I assumed at least a few people downvoted because the story has Brad in it or because they know I'm the "Human Shining Armor"/"Brony Steve" guy.
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I came up with the Geldings about a year or more back when I created an OC named Chief Gelding Parsnip, who is Princess Celestia's cupbearer. I meant it as a joke, with his title being something like "chief eunuch" in an ancient court. Only recently did I decide that the Geldings would be a quasi-religious order standing in opposition to the Order of Timekeepers I created for Chronomistress.
Geldings of some sort are canonical in the expanded universe, as there's a "Gelding Grotto" on the extended map in the first IDW comic book miniseries.
. . . And I just realized I forgot to take that map into account when I had Twilight describe Equestria's surroundings. Shoot. Totally forgot the Forest of Leota and Wuvvy-Duvvy Smoochy Land. Maybe Brad and Twilight have more places to run away to than I thought.
2672585whats with the brad pones what next 7 scades of brad or brad or no brad
2672585 let me gess what the next chapter will be called seven shades of brad casue its the sevnth chapter
I really liked the smell explanation here though i wonder if pony/horse noses are that good. Oh well, they´re magical horses so whatever.^^
Also liked how Brad notices that his gf is more different than he thought he can take. Like that her nose is a hundred times bigger than before, that she´s heavier/bigger than him, that she has no hands but hoofs, etc.
Same for Twi who´s the adult now and who knows she´s done a crime, lots and lots of interesting stuff happening here. :D
The whole world and politic explanantion felt a bit too much for me, but only a bit. :)
About the food though, why not cakes and other sweets? That would give enough calories to him and taste good as well. ;D
Brad and Twilight Sparkle by Pasikon
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Hmm, if you start going down 'Humanz r bad' route I'm going to be sorely disappointed.