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  • E Postgraduate Work

    After her coronation, Twilight must discover just what she's princess of.
    8,749 words · 1,093 views  ·  89  ·  0
  • E Mandatory Fun

    Cheese Sandwich dons the Alicorn Amulet, and Equestria trembles.
    2,650 words · 3,210 views  ·  497  ·  14
  • E The Glaring Gaffes of Gabby Gums

    A very special edition of the Foal Free Press
    1,370 words · 2,415 views  ·  118  ·  2
  • E My Little Praetor: Phthisis is Magic

    Ponies versus magic card game cyborgs. Place your bets.
    78,761 words · 1,552 views  ·  104  ·  2
  • T The Implicit Neighs

    Ponies have always been one of the many races of Ravnica. Some familiar ponies happen to be members of guilds. These are their stories.
    40,813 words · 1,891 views  ·  139  ·  5
  • E Outlier

    A all-too-brief foray into Equestria.
    2,560 words · 724 views  ·  67  ·  1
  • T Scootaloathe

    Scootaloo plots the downfall of her antithesis and nemesis.
    4,033 words · 1,148 views  ·  147  ·  6
  • E A Somber Tale

    My name is Sombra. I am more than a mass of shadows. This is my story.
    3,181 words · 439 views  ·  39  ·  0

Blog Posts174

  • Sunday
    Friendship is Card Games: Lesson Zero

    I very nearly forgot about this week's Friendship is Card Games. I can think of no more appropriate episode. I also think I handled it better than Twilight. :twilightsheepish:

    If you look closely, you can see the sun moving slowly and smoothly just after the theme song. Thus, the sun's motion is somewhat indicative of Twilight's mental state… which had to be concerning for Celestia. Her student subconsciously hacked the sun. Or it was just all in Twilight's head, but I like the other option.

    One bit of headcanon I never put into use was punny days of the week. Friendsday, Spursday, Skyday, and so forth. This episode put an end to that. And it was kind of gratuitous anyway.

    Between his interaction with Twilight's fantasies and his method of icing removal, Spike has clearly been learning from Pinkie Pie. The dragon mind appears better equipped for interaction with the medium. Interesting...

    I think we've pretty much all agreed that Twilight's descent into madness was at least partially prompted by Discord. You don't face down a god of insanity and come out smelling like roses.

    I just want to take a moment to appreciate Fluttershy's extreme bear massage. It got a card, but it bears repeating: EXTREME BEAR MASSAGE. :flutterrage:

    ...I did not intend that "bears repeating" pun, I swear. I blame the Persona 4 Let's Play I've been reading.

    Dash is applying sunscreen. Well, we know ponies can get sunburnt from "Magical Mystery Cure." Maybe their coats have fiber optic properties. Hmm. Then it could be the structure of the refractive proteins that gives them their distinctive colors, which could possibly even account for Dash's own prismatic mane. There's potential here…

    Celestia displays some minor scrap of her full glory. Then she trolls the crap out of the Mane Six. Constructively, mind you, but still, "I'll forget Twilight's punishment on one condition." Tia, you shameless, magnificent bastard.

    And now for a decidedly non-tardy collection of cards:

    Covered in Icing 1W

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Enchanted creature has lifelink.

    Sacrifice Covered in Icing: Enchanted creature's controller gains life equal to its toughness.

    "Spend enough time around Pinkie Pie and you get used to it."


    Obsessive Compulsion 1W


    Whenever a player casts his or her first spell each turn, that player can't cast spells that have different converted mana costs than that spell this turn.

    Discord didn't harm a hair on the Bearers' bodies, but he still left scars.

    Take Cover 1W


    Tap all creatures you control. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to them this turn.

    Digging a trench is an essential step when asking Rainbow Dash for help.

    Equalized Icing 2W


    If a player would gain life, each player gains 1 life instead.

    Sometimes fair treatment means that everyone is equally unsatisfied.

    Solar Cleansing 3WWW


    Exile all artifacts and enchantments.

    The purgative power of Celestia's sun cannot be overemphasized.

    Chain Teleportation U


    Until end of turn, target creature gains "1U: Exile this creature, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control and it gains this ability until end of turn."

    Even Twilight's nervous habits display her incredible capability.

    Disrupt Delusion 1U


    Counter target spell that targets you.

    Draw a card.

    Every unicorn needs a few hornless friends to remind her how being sane works.

    Thorough Search 2U


    Look at the top two cards and the bottom two cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.

    "I could've sworn it was around here somewhere."

    —Rarity, Bearer of Generosity

    Excessive Preparation 2UU


    Players can't cast spells.

    At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card.

    When a player has seven or more cards in his or her hand, sacrifice Excessive Preparation.

    Curse of Tardiness 4U

    Enchantment — Aura Curse

    Enchant player

    Enchanted player can't cast spells from his or her hand.

    Each nonland card in enchanted player's hand has suspend 1. The suspend cost is equal to its mana cost.

    Magic Kindergarden B


    At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a Unicorn.

    1U: Put a 1/1 blue Unicorn creature token onto the battlefield.

    Canterlot unicorns start conspiring before they learn the alphabet.

    The Worst Possible Thing B


    Target player reveals his or her hand. You choose a card from it with the greatest converted mana cost among those cards. That player discards that card.

    Flashback 4B (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

    Misplaced Priorities 3BB


    Target player reveals his or hand. Choose a card from it. That player discards the rest.

    "Rainbow must be angry with Applejack! She must hate her guts! How wonderful!"

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    Ad Absurdum 3BBB


    Each player reveals the top card of his or her library, puts that card into his or her hand, and loses life equal to its converted mana cost. You may repeat this process any number of times.

    Fear follows its own logic.

    Nervous Breakdown XB


    Target player's maximum hand size is reduced by X until the next turn.

    Draw a card.

    "It's fine. Everything's fine. I may have to incite a riot, but it will all be fine."

    Claw Cramp R


    Claw Cramp deals damage to target player equal to the number of cards that player drew this turn.

    "I should charge by the word. Twilight would be working for me by the end of the week."


    Clock is Ticking 2R


    Whenever a time counter is removed from a permanent or a suspended card, Clock is Ticking deals 1 damage to that permanent's controller or that card's owner.

    "Time dislikes disruptions in its natural processes, and makes that displeasure known quite firmly."

    —Star Swirl the Bearded, Meditations on Chronomancy

    Object of Desire 3R

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant nonland permanent

    Creatures attack enchanted permanent's controller each combat if able.

    Whenever a creature deals combat damage to enchanted permanent's controller, that creature's controller gains control of enchanted permanent.

    Intense Massage 1G


    Choose one —

    • Regenerate target creature.

    • Target creature you control fights target creature you don't control.

    Entwine 1G (Choose both if you pay the entwine cost.)

    Erudite Doll 4

    Artifact Creature — Construct


    Whenever Erudite Doll is dealt damage, you may draw a card.

    Dissertations have been written about her mane.


    Drama Couch 5



    T: Prevent the next 2 damage that would be dealt to you this turn.

    "A lady does not allow her sorrow to leave grass stains on her coat."

    —Rarity, Bearer of Generosity

    Twilight Deranged 1UBR

    Legendary Creature — Unicorn Wizard

    Each instant and sorcery card in your hand has madness. The madness cost is equal to the colored mana symbols in that card's mana cost. (For example, if its mana cost is 3UB, it has madness UB. If you discard the card, you may cast it for its madness cost instead of putting it into your graveyard.)

    Whenever Twilight Deranged deals combat damage to a player, each player discards a card.


    Break the Line 2RW


    Destroy all creatures blocking target attacking creature. That creature gains trample until end of turn.

    Few unicorns and pegasi appreciate just what earth ponies are capable of when they push themselves.

    Atomic Rainboom 8

    (WUBRG) Instant

    If you spent W to cast Atomic Rainboom, destroy all enchantments. If you spent U to cast it, counter all other spells. If you spent B to cast it, all creatures get -4/-4 until end of turn. If you spent R to cast it, destroy all nonbasic lands. If you spent G to cast it, destroy all artifacts.

    14 comments · 111 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Friendship is Card Games: Return of Harmony

    7 comments · 118 views
  • 2w, 4d
    Friendship is Card Games: The Best Night Ever

    Yesterday, Obselescence gathered worshipers at Mashnod's Altar. Today, I make cards from the episode where dreams go to die. I'm not saying these two events are at all related, but I will say that Button Mash's beanie propeller is powered by misery and the tears of infants.

    Okay, so horses are definitely a thing that is distinct from ponies. I know, I know, we have Saddle Arabians, but Twilight seems to be treating the transmuted mice as draft animals and little more. Maybe I'm misreading it, but it certainly explains the others' discomfort at the results. (Well, that, and the horse-mice are just plain creepy.)

    Huh. We actually see Rarity putting in her false eyelashes. And here I thought "MMMMystery on the Friendship Express" pulled that one out of thin air.

    Celestia has a golden apple tree? As in the golden apples of the Hesperides, or Idunn? Or is it a leftover from Discord's days?

    This is only the second time I've seen this episode. It's actually almost painful to see those early moments of hope when I know precisely how each and every member of the Mane Six is going to be horribly disappointed.

    Derpy is at the Gala. I'm going to have to see what I can do with this information.

    Allow me to begin by saying that I love stories that make good use of Prince Blueblood. That being said, note that he introduces himself to Rarity. Sure, he may have noticed her hovering in his vicinity, but he still approached her prior to behaving like… well, him.

    I can't promise these will be the best cards ever, but I am sharing them with friends:

    Screeching Halt W


    Remove target attacking creature from combat.

    "Inertia. Who needs it?"

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Background Noise 2WW


    Spells each player casts cost X more to cast, where X is half the number of creatures that player controls, rounded down.

    "I can't hear my own awesomeness over all these ponies."

    —Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty

    Canterlot Quartet 3W

    Creature — Pony

    T: Put a verse counter on target Song.

    "No gig too small, no number too obscure."

    —Oath of the Equestrian Musicians' Guild


    "At the Gala" 1U

    Enchantment — Song

    At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "At the Gala".

    1U, Sacrifice "At the Gala": Draw X cards, where X is the number of verse counters on "At the Gala". Discard that many card at the beginning of the next end step.

    Beautify 2UU


    Creatures you control gain hexproof until end of turn.

    "We'll have you looking so good that nopony will even dare muss your coiffure."

    —Rarity, Bearer of Generosity

    Art of Persuasion 4U

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    You may choose not to untap enchanted creature during your untap step.

    Enchanted creature has "T: Gain control of target creature for as long as this creature remains tapped. You can't activate this ability during combat."

    Some magics still elude Twilight's comprehension

    Carrot Capture Trap 4UU

    Instant — Trap

    If a creature that wasn't cast entered the battlefield under an opponent's control this turn, you may pay 1U rather than pay Carrot Capture Trap's mana cost.

    Gain control of target creature that entered the battlefield this turn.

    Grand Galloping Gala 1BB


    Choose one —

    • Target player discards two cards.

    • Target player loses 4 life.

    Hoofcraft — Choose both if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns.

    Flinching Blueblood 2B

    Creature — Unicorn

    All damage that would be would be dealt to Flinching Blueblood is dealt to you instead.

    "Nobility can refer to either birth or behavior. For most ponies, they seem to be mutually exclusive."

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic


    Inexcusable Excess 2B


    Target player loses 2 life for each spell he or she cast this turn.

    A certain level of decorum and restraint is expected at the Gala. Pinkie thought it was a maximum rather than a minimum.

    Unquenchable Rage 1R


    Target creature can attack this turn as though it and permanents attached to it had no abilities. It attacks this turn if able.

    Even the most serene soul in existence is capable of some anger.

    Send Skyward 1R


    Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains flying until end of turn. At the beginning of the next end step, that creature's controller sacrifices it unless he or she taps another untapped creature he or she controls.

    "Oh, he'll be fine."

    —Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty

    Call the Tune 2R


    Gain control of target Song until end of turn. Until end of turn, you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to activate abilities of that Song.

    "What can I say? She called in a favor."

    —Octavia, orchestral assassin

    Palace Gardener 1G

    Creature — Pony

    T: You may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped.

    Celestia seeks those who will genuinely enjoy their work for positions at Castle Canterlot.


    Skittish Critters 2G

    Creature — Beast

    When you cast a creature spell, return Skittish Critters to its owner's hand.

    It takes them months to grow accustomed to new faces. Even then, sudden movements will send them scattering.


    Deluxe Apple Cart 2


    Whenever a player casts a green spell, you may pay 1. If you do, you gain 2 life.

    All the orchard's bounty, now in conveniently portable form.

    Overpowered Hair Drier 2


    3: Attacking creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.

    "That was refreshing!"

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Disappoint 1UB


    Counter target spell. That spell's controller loses 2 life.

    Equestria is a place where many dreams can come true. This makes those times when they don't all the more crushing.

    Equinoform 2(gu)

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Enchanted creature is a Horse with base power and toughness 3/3.

    "Horses from other planes just look weird. I'd forgotten how much so until now. Thanks, Twilight."

    —Ditzy Doo

    Utter Pandemonium 3GUB


    Each player chooses half the nonland permanents he or she controls, rounded up. Return those permanents to their owners' hands. Destroy the rest.

    "Well, I had fun."

    —Princess Celestia

    7 comments · 134 views
  • 2w, 6d
    Psychogenic Prose

    Well, as I said in the author's note of "In Amazing Technicolor," that was an experience. Here's what I've gathered from thirty-one days of shuffling. (Caution: rather disorganized rambling ahead.)

    • Twenty-two out of thirty-one stories were a thousand words or longer. The shorts were handy for days when I either wasn't feeling the prompt card or felt I'd said all I needed to in less than a kiloword. Still, I feel strangely guilty about them, like I cheated. Regardless, the compilation was almost certainly a better choice than swamping my story archive with thirty-one actual one-shots.

    • 38,274 words of story in total according to Fimfiction, for an average of about 1,234.6 words per day. I'd like to say I planned that. Of course, if I had, I would've gotten the tenths digit to cooperate.

    • As of this blog, fifty-one upvotes, two downvotes, 494 views, and a few appearances on the bottom three lines of the featured box. Not bad. I suppose the prompt method made it something of a niche appeal story.

    • I still don't know why there's this stigma around One-Shotober. I have suspicions, but nothing concrete.

    • No one commented on the pun in the story image. I suppose they either felt it wasn't germane to the discussion, didn't think it was worthy of discussion, or just didn't notice.

    • Some people don't read story descriptions or author's notes. The compilation was added to six groups on the day it was published. Five of them were Equestria Girls-related. :facehoof:

    • Chapter publication notifications only happen the first time the chapter is published, even if the story wasn't submitted at that time. Hence, no one was notified went "Core Values" went up. I'll be sure to remember that in the future.

    • The stats page needs work; it hasn't registered more than a third of the thumbs.

    • Speaking of the stats page, for the most part, story views formed a rough waveform. For the most part, peaks came in the middle of the week, while troughs came during the weekend. The big exception, Saturday the 18th, was a day the compilation was featured. This is pretty much the opposite of what I expected. Apparently nothing helps get people through Hump Day like card game-themed horsewords.

    • When using this method of prompt generation, creatures are by far the dullest cards to work with. Instants and sorceries suggest events, lands settings, artifacts literal plot devices, and enchantments themes. Creatures require characters, who need a considerably greater narrative commitment and offer far less flexibility, especially when the card can't be connected to a preexisting character. Legends and planeswalkers are probably even worse; they demand specific characters from outside Equestria. I'm honestly glad I never got one.

    • My effort to provide a counterpoint to the inevitable wave of siren redemption stories did better than I expected it too. I was expecting it to be drowned out completely, but people seemed to like it, and I even got one or two "headcanon accepted"s. :yay:

    • Say what you will about the writing in "Keep Calm and Flutter On," Discord is a delight to work with when he isn't forced into an antagonistic context. I already knew this, but getting to write five different stories with him as a relatively benevolent trickster underscored it.

    • Dialogue attribution issues aside, I have tremendous fun when writing two instances of the same character interacting with one another. Of course, I'm the guy who made the League of Infinite Lyras, so that doesn't really come as much of a surprise. Still, I'll definitely want to write some more human ponidoxes, especially with a permanently open portal.

    • I also had a lot of fun putting together characters who normally don't interact much, if at all: Discord and Cheerilee, Applejack and Zecora, Shining Armor and Spike (and how sad is it that that last pair qualifies as such?) Such unusual match-ups offer a chance to explore new directions with both characters.

    • No one commented on the Easter egg in "Prismatic Mercy." Hint: acrostic.

    • I really like the idea of the human universe being the World of Darkness to Equestria's Exalted. For those unfamiliar with White Wolf RPGs, I mean a world that seems like ours but has many forms of magic lying just under the surface, as opposed to one that revels in its own supernatural outlandishness. Needless to say, the tone is meant to be much happier than in the RPGs.

    • The Power Ponies universe is actually quite fun to work with, especially since there's so much left unexplored. I may revisit it sometime.

    • I really seem to have it out for the Flimflam Brothers. I think it's because of how much potential they're wasting. If they'd just market the blasted horseless carriage...

    • Going by when the story was featured, people want more young Granny Smith and Sombra in their pony fiction. Who knew?

    • And finally, I am never doing that again. Ever. I have a tremendous amount of newfound respect for authors who can maintain this kind of pace (or even faster!) Still, at some point this went from fun to duty to bloody-mindedness. It was a great opportunity to publish some long-stewing headcanon (e.g. "Core Values," "No and Yes," "My Little Ponzi") and come up with fresh (e.g. "Necessary Evil," "Downtime," "Marine Biology,") but overall, I'd rather write because I want to, not because I feel obligated to. On that note, not doing NaNoWriMo. Not that I ever have.

    Feel free to ask any questions you have about anything in the compilation here. Ancillary details, behind the scenes notes, whatever. Also, note that I added a table of contents that includes each story's canonicity relative to Elementals of Harmony.

    8 comments · 112 views
  • 3w, 4d
    Friendship is Card Games: Party of One

    An appropriate episode for a day after the server went crazy. This episode gave us Pinkie's hair as a mood ring and gave me all the justification I needed to make Laughter the Element of Harmony most associated with black mana. (Interestingly, Cupcakes was actually written before this aired.)

    One other concept the fandom got from this, along with "The Best Night Ever," was Cutie Mark Failure Syndrome, sometimes called Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome. The idea was that if a pony who either can't perform her special talent or doubts whether she deserves it for long enough, she will undergo a psychotic break and become her own antithesis. It's not seen much anymore, which is kind of a shame. It's an interesting addition to the narrative toolbox.

    We open with proof that Pinkie's abilities are only finite when the narrative says they are. (cf. The speed limit in "Too Many Pinkie Pies," getting stuck on the rock slide in "Maud Pie," etc.) She can do anything as long as it's funny. She can't do anything if that inability would serve the plot.

    Once upon a time, Twilight could dance. Then she got hip-checked into a wall. She learned her lesson after that.

    I had to laugh at Twilight shushing the background music in her scene with Mrs. Cake.

    I'm going to say that unicorn tails don't have the same level of prehensility as earth pony ones, but Rarity's elaborate curls allow her to constrict more effectively. As kudzuhaiku would put it, it's not cheating. It's unicorn cleverness.

    Either Pinkie has incredible hearing, or Rarity and Fluttershy were stage whispering. Considering that stage whispering is fairly loud for Fluttershy, I'm going to go with the latter.

    Sending the Bearer of Honesty to waylay Pinkie may seem like a terrible idea, but as another earth pony, Applejack was probably the only one who could effectively bar Pinkie's path. Otherwise, she might have just trampled through the door.

    Spike's moment of vanity made even Pinkie Pie speechless. That's quite impressive.

    Now, let's see if you guys still like my cards and still want to be my friends:

    Pleasant Surprise 3WW


    You gain 10 life.

    Miracle 1W (You may cast this card for its miracle cost when you draw it if it's the first card you drew this turn.)

    Abrupt Silence U


    Counter target enchantment spell or target activated ability from an enchantment source.


    Flimsy Excuse 1U


    Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell unless that player pays 1.

    4: Destroy Flimsy Excuse. Any player may activate this ability.

    "Because I said so."

    Delusional Piecosis 1UU


    Each noncreature artifact you control is an Illusion artifact creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost.

    At the beginning of each end step, if you control a non-Illusion creature, sacrifice Delusional Piecosis.

    Eavesdrop 2U


    Whenever target opponent draws a card this turn, you may draw a card.

    "If they didn't want me to know what they were saying, they shouldn't have been talking next to that can."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Antidisguise 2UU

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Enchanted creature has hexproof and can't be blocked except by Walls.

    The idea isn't to become unnoticeable. It's to become so noticeable that everypony refuses to accept what they're seeing.

    Book Fort 3U

    Creature — Wall


    Book Fort's toughness is equal to twice the number of cards in your hand.

    "A childish pasttime. I haven't made one for… would you believe months?"

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic


    Beachcomber Bear 4U

    Creature — Bear

    When Beachcomber Bear enters the battlefield, return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.

    "Magic does weird things sometimes. A bear with a metal detector barely merits a blink."

    —Ditzy Doo


    Intense Interrogation B


    Target opponent reveals his or her hand, then chooses a card in it. You may pay B. If you do, repeat this process except that opponent can't choose a card already chosen for Intense Interrogation. Then that player discards the last chosen card.

    Putrid Stench BB

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Whenever a creature blocks enchanted creature, the blocking creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

    To a species accustomed to the smell of brimstone, rotting garbage is barely noticeable. Others aren't so lucky.

    Curse of Dissonance 2B

    Enchantment — Aura Curse

    Enchant player

    Activated abilities of Songs enchanted player controls cost an additional "Remove two verse counters from this Song" to activate.

    "Sometimes you need to let your throat rest."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Pinkie's Punchwader 2B

    Creature — Crocodile

    If an opponent would gain life, that player gains 1 life instead.

    Swallow if you dare.


    Depths of Sorrow 4BB


    At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player loses 2 life and discards a card.

    "The Element of Laughter made me more emotionally resilient. You should've seen me back in the day. Well, actually, be glad you didn't."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Confer with Gummy XBB


    As an additional cost to cast Confer with Gummy, pay X life.

    Look at the top twice X cards of your library. Put X of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.

    Gummy always tells Pinkie Pie exactly what she wants to hear.

    Killer Choreography 3RR


    Whenever one or more creatures you control attack, Killer Choreography deals X damage to target creature defending player controls, where X is the number of attacking creatures you control.

    Stand clear of dancing earth ponies, or you won't be left standing.

    Bob for Surprises 2GG


    Each player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a permanent card, puts that card onto the battlefield, then puts the rest on the bottom of his or her library in any order.

    "Wow, I don't remember putting that in there!"

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Herald's Helm 1

    Artifact — Equipment

    Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each draw a card.

    Equip 1

    "It's actually a good thing that I don't have a mail cutie mark. Some mailponies can be very enthusiastic."

    —Ditzy Doo

    With Catlike Tread (ur)

    Trope Instant

    Creatures your opponents control with hexproof can be the targets of spells and abilities you control this turn as though they didn't have hexproof.

    The more you try not to be noticed, the more noticeable you become.

    8 comments · 131 views
  • ...

Something is gathering around the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Something dangerous. Something magical. There's only one pony with the knowledge, the skills, and the muffins needed to save Equestria as we know it.

A Friendship is Magic: the Gathering crossover, taking place between seasons 1 and 2. Here there be flashbacks, briefly seen OC's, and possibly every emotion known to man or tiny horse. Abandon all pretenses of not being a nerd, ye who enter here.

First Published
26th Sep 2011
Last Modified
18th Apr 2012

K now hurry up and get somewhere and i'll be happy. The writing is great Storyline is working and Magic references are working.

Oh and your card is actually a 4 costing uncommon. Just saying.

I love the language in your story, the way the story is developing, and the smooth connection between Equestrian and collectivecardgamingmagic. (And I like Scootaloo having two full parents, including a father sneaking her novels that certainly arent for little girls.:raritywink:)

Hmm. I'd argue that red fits better for Pinkie Pie (She just does whatever comes into her head without thinking about it), and black for Rainbow Dash (She'll do anything to win).

#4 · 164w, 2d ago · · · Intermezzo ·


I was connecting colors to Elements, not ponies. Loyalty is definitely more red than black (see Brand), whereas Laughter could fit just about anywhere, and something had to go in black. Also, consider the following: Pinkie Pie, dementia summoner. :pinkiecrazy:

#5 · 164w, 2d ago · · · Intermezzo ·

This is an interesting wrinkle; having Trixie come into play wondering how the hay a Pegasus pony can cast spells is going to make for a fun little read.

*Begin reading first chapter. Spot reference to Haruhi. Proceed to laugh for about 5 minutes. Finish laughing, proceed to read the rest of the story.*

For the record, Twilight would make an excellent Kyon, Fluttershy is clearly an ESPer, Dash is a time traveler, and Pinkie is obviously an alien. You just managed to rearrange my entire head-canon. Well done.

#7 · 164w, 2d ago · · · Intermezzo ·


Yeah, writing Pinkie is an adventure in stream of consciousness with tributaries running through most of TV Tropes. At least, that's how it is for me. :pinkiehappy:

#8 · 164w, 2d ago · · · Intermezzo ·

>>7195 Fair enough!

Okay....we have more backstory on Ditzy, more of Twilight's literal-mindedness and tendency to panic biting her in the flanks, Sweetie Belle being five minutes away from telling Steve and the other gentlecolts to behold silence, Celestia's numbered smiles and finally Ditzy explaining exactly how real things have gotten. That being said, I can't wait to see how the day gets saved.

Interesting assortment of tags... One of them NOT being dark (which hopefully suggests no gore, violence, or death)... And one of them being comedy (my favorite tag)...

But I know NOTHING about Magic: The Gathering.

Do I need to know about Magic the Gathering to read this, or will it introduce the concepts as I go nicely?

>>9370 I'm trying to introduce the concepts as I go. Basically, just ignore the card I put at the end of each chapter and you should be fine. Hopefully.:twilightsheepish:

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF written on the sun. Now that is comic relief that I would have expected from a silverbordered UN-set. Keep this up I love it.

Okay, the Elementals are almost assembled, the Meek and Penitent Trixie is trying to figure out what's going on, Nightmare Moon is in the house and Ditzy has just got some backup (not that she knows it yet). Also, Kwisatz Haderapple? This IS a nerdfest!!:pinkiehappy:

:pinkiehappy: Great song, very amusing to read.

Oh I see what you did there! Nice Dwarf Fortress reference! And pinkie breaking the fourth wall again... But seiously, MLP crossed with Magic: the gathering, crossed with a reference of DF? Just add some Mass Effect and this story will bwe my entire being.

>>15726 I'm Commander FanOfMostEverything, and this is my favorite comment on the Citadel.:raritywink:

nice work on your story, keep it up!

Tezzeret! Tezzeret? Tezzeret saw Ditzy Doo flying by and she's still alive? Tezzeret actually feeling pity for any living being???

I'm sorry but I think my suspension of disbelief was shattered worse then if Pinkie Pie had taken TNT to the bricks to the fourth wall. The man is very intelligent, cold, cruel, calculating, and has special talent for murdering the mother of anyone he perceives to have slighted him. Furthermore besides this break of character from someone that would fell quite at home in the Italian Mafia, if he was on his way to Mirrodin then you might of given your story a plot hole:

1) Ditzy doo wouldn't of done any planeswalking after she had returned to Equestria

2) the events in Scars of Mirrodin are too recent for Tezzeret to have started the journey to Mirrodin before Ditzy returned to Equestria.

Is it weird that I think of Walter C. Dornez whenever Flawless Composure does anything? Is that intentional, or am I completely insane?

(The following paragraph is full of Magic flavor nonsense. Ignore if you don't follow the story behind the cards.)

>>16544 Well, someone never read Test of Metal. Tezzeret has a soft side, believe it or not. It's just very well hidden most of the time. Also, ever since Bolas reconstructed his brain after Jace Beleren reduced it to head cheese, Tezz has been much calmer and generally nicer than before. Oh sure, he's hung a Sword of Damocles over Jace's head, but he doesn't go out of his way to antagonize anyone who hasn't done the same to him. He may be cold, cruel, calculating, and matricidally gifted, but he's learned the value of having a friend. Yes, really. Besides, it's not like he's going to be all sweetness and light. Give me a chance here.

>>17878 I swear it was completely unintentional, but I definitely see how you could make the connection. That said, I don't think we'll be seeing him do anything lethally awesome with piano wire.:raritywink:

>>18094 Awwwww... too bad. Oh well, I guess he can still be an awesome butler without slaughtering hordes of ghouls.


Fair enough, But that still leaves the plot hole left by your timeline. Ditzy hasn't done anymore planeswalking since she returned to Equestria. And the Blind Eternities are subject to time because they are subject to (very very frequent) change.

>>21366 I never said when this story was taking place on the Magic timeline (which has gotten a bit muddled anyway.) The reference to Tezzeret merely establishes one chronology's relationship to another. In this case, the events of Elementals of Harmony take place several years after the compleation of New Phyrexia. Just because the story contradicts your assumptions doesn't always mean that the story contradicts itself. It could just mean that your assumption was wrong.

That said, thanks for reading, and for caring enough to point out what you thought was a plot hole.:pinkiesmile:

So, what have we learned today?

1. Nightmare Moon is actually pretty decent when not suffering from extreme isolation.

2. Fangirl/boyism is capable of uniting beings from different planes of reality.

3. You portray a great Spike.

4. Pinkie Pie is still the best pony. Ever. Of all time.

And 5. Turns out I'm capable of laughing for five minutes straight. Did not know I could do that.

No wonder she told the CMC that crazy story about the rock farm; Ditzy is about the only pony around who could understand how she really got her cutie mark.

:rainbowlaugh: I nearly died laughing at Pinkie's list of accomplishments. I know I saw Silence cast on Pinkie, but I can't place the sensor spell, or any I might be forgetting.

Quick question: I know that whatever is happening at Twi's place is going to be bad :pinkiegasp::applejackconfused::raritycry: but exactly how big a mess will Ditzy, Pinkie Pie and Tezzeret have to clean up and how many unicorns will be traumatized for life?:rainbowderp::rainbowhuh:

Pinkie is Emrakul's therapist? And survived an encounter with the Elder Dragon Nicol Bolas mentally unscathed? Dear god.

I mean, I always suspected that she was a planeswalker, but HELL. My mind = BLOWN.


This fic is impossibly awesome.

You MUST continue this!

I'm not surprised in the least that Pinkie is a planewalker. Pinkie's rather long list of other planar accomplishments on the other hand was kinda surprising.

Just as I start to wonder how this story can get any better, you throw another hillarious curveball that leaves me eager to read more.:pinkiehappy:

>>27782 The sensor spell is an original creation. Sort of. It would have been the card of the chapter, but Pinkie kind of overshadowed it. Here it is in card form:

Ditzy's Probe 1U

Creature — Eye Illusion


Players play with their hands revealed.

"First one to make a joke about my wandering eye swallows his teeth."

—Ditzy Doo


>>27800 That would be telling. :raritywink: However, I will tell you that the truth to Pinkie's youth will be revealed next chapter.

Judging by the description of the Planeswalker that rescued Ditzy, would I be wrong to assume he's Garruk pre-Inistrad?

Ack, never mind, It's Tezzeret.

I am not a clever Pony.

"Nicol Bolas, elder dragon planeswalker, acknowledges me as the one being who has withstood his touch with sanity unchanged"

LIES!! My touch did have an effect on her sanity... ]It made her even more dangerous

Your fic is amazing and you should feel amazing.

I see what you did with the xorn. Of course this crossover includes D&D monsters!

"Scream and run in circles! It's our only chance!":pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Cheerleads the panic  When in Panic! When in Doubt! Run in CIrcles ,scream and shout!

A sealab 2021 reference and then a portal 2 reference? And they have both been used in-context to make this story exceedingly funny and fun to read?

If I wasn't already loving this, I am now.

"Aristrotle and mashy spike-plate" Nice portal 2 reference there.

oh now this had been a fun (if Achronistic) read. I look forward to seeing this play out.

I can't help but wonder if the Magic Elemental won't be an enchantment...

This fic makes my brain ache in the most glorious. Also, Magic the Gathering.

I can't hold all these stars, take five of them.

I like Telecornesis. It makes all Unicorns into Twiddle-on-a-stick. Given enough blue mana that can be insanely annoying.

A Fist of the North Star refrence and fourth wall breaking with Pinkie?!

FanofMostEverything, I salute you for this awesome.

Dang it, I wanted to see split second shenanigans, especially once Ditzy started channeling red!

I can't wait to see how Generosity is defeated.

Now you've got me wondering, is Twi gonna be 5c or colorless?

And the traditional author/Pinkie Pie conversation has been done. Can't say I'm particularly surprised, given that you effectively made Pinkie one of the most powerful creatures in the Multiverse. You pulled it off nicely though; didn't feel shoehorned in, like a few others I could name... And a few more manga references makes me a very happy and entertained reader.

You've managed to catch just the right mix between adventure and comedy here; laughs come with nearly every paragraph, but you've got your fair share of serious drama too. Not everyone can do that, very well done. One of the reasons this story is one of favorites on the site.

Are you still working on this? It's been nearly a month since the last update...

Somehow you manage to make things like Pinkie Pie being a planeswalker work, made Dinky the most adorable foal ever, and made Trixie lovable. All without breaking my brain.

I won't say that it will absolutely win the internet yet because for that you would to something random like Lauren Faust as an allicorn dragging Nicol Bolas away to speak with his mother. But I know it's still possible in future chapters.

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