First In, Last Out
There was a resounding silence in the dining cum meeting room as the princesses considered their options. Luna spoke first. "We need to take immediate action."
"I agree." Celestia replied. "You will depart tomorrow morning."
The princess of the night opened her mouth to object to this, thought of a different objection and closed her mouth as she put it into words. She repeated this process a few times before settling on "Sister, that wasn't quite as immediate as I had in mind."
The white alicorn raised an eyebrow at this. "So, you would dispatch the one pony capable of addressing this situation while she is mana-exhausted, fresh out of a day-long coma, and with no more knowledge of the situation than that with which she came here?"
Luna once again discovered the fascinating wonder of the table's wood grain until her sister's nuzzling coaxed her out out of her embarrassment. "I agree with your sense of urgency, little sister," Celestia said soothingly, "but we must remember to be gentle with our heroes." This elicited a grateful nod.
"Um..." As the lone mortal in the room, Ditzy was feeling increasingly awkward.
Luna smiled sympathetically at her comrade in anxiety. "How would you like to see how Dinky is doing?"
The pegasus's expression went from uncertainty to joy to dread with such speed, her eyes ended up pointed at opposite ends of the room. "Who's been watching her this whole time? Did she get her cutie mark? Break any priceless royal heirlooms? Cause an international incident?"
The younger princess looked at the mailmare as though she'd grown an extra head. Celestia, however, just smiled. "I assure you, Ditzy, you haven't missed any of your daughter's glories or shames. Now, Luna and I need to iron out some details, so Flawless Composure will be escorting you."
"Who?"
"That would be me, Madam."
The grey mare flinched back from the stallion that, despite his hornless forehead, had apparently teleported next to her. "Where did you come from?"
"Since Madam is a parent, I should scarcely think that such matters would need to be explained to her."
Ditzy bit back her rejoinder and took a more careful look at the unexpected pony. Black suit jacket, white coat, black mane in a short, sensible style so stiff that a cyclone probably wouldn't shift a hair, black bowtie cutie mark. In all, her first impression of Flawless Composure was along the lines of a black-and-white photo of the Braytonic ideal of Butler, that quintessential concept whose existence allowed ponies to perceive the flaws of actual coltservants. And yet, just beneath the surface was a familiar sense of mischief...
The conclusion, once she took a moment to think about it, was obvious. "You're Celestia's personal butler, aren't you?"
The barest hint of a grin flickered across the monochrome earth pony's muzzle. "I am fortunate enough to have that honor, Madam."
Celestia gave a grin of her own. "A Composure has been my right-hoof pony for the last seven generations."
"As Her Luminous Majesty says," demurred Flawless.
Ditzy gave a good-natured eye roll. "Alright, right hoof. Lead the way."
The butler gave something between a nod and a bow. "As Madam wishes."
As the two left the room, Luna turned to her sister. "What was that about?"
"Next Sunday, you should come with me to my meeting with Star Sparkle."
"Twilight's mother?"
"The two of us will tell you all about the worries that come from raising a precocious filly."
"Huh." Luna digested this for a moment. "Say, when you said 'You will depart tomorrow morning,' you only meant the Doos, right?"
Celestia's only response was to widen her grin.
The princess of the night felt her ears droop. "Oh..."
"...and that is how my ancestor Immaculate acquired the position of Her Highness's head coltservant."
"Huh." Ditzy was pleased to discover that, like his mistress, Flawless was a genuinely pleasant pony under all the pomp. "Would the assassination attempt have actually worked?"
"Almost certainly not, though Her Magnificence neither confirmed nor denied the rumors regarding the peanut allergy."
"Well, I certainly don't remember that in the history books."
The butler gave what Ditzy had determined was his signature hint of a grin. "Well, as luck would have it, Madam, we can double check. We have arrived at the Royal Library."
The pegasus looked at the doors. Each was a masterpiece of stained glass and wrought iron, an abstract mural extolling the virtues of knowledge and scholarliness. She felt a sudden surge of nerves. "You're sure Dinky didn't do anything destructive?"
"I assure you, Madam, your daughter has been the very model of charm and decorum."
Ditzy let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Okay. If you say so." She pushed open one of the exquisite works.
Immediately afterward, a familiar young voice boomed out, "SURRENDER, FOUL BEAST! YOU ARE DEFEATED!"
The voice's owner's mother had a hoof halfway to her face when it was answered by an equally loud reply. "NEVER! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE TRIXON IS INVINCIBLE!"
Amidst what could only be described as two ponies attempting to recreate the soundtrack of a sci-fi blockbuster, Ditzy turned to Flawless Composure. "What," she deadpanned, "is going on?"
Unflappable as always, the butler simply answered, "It would appear that your daughter has established a rapport with the librarian."
"And why is the librarian the Great and Powerful Trixie?"
"I would not know, Madam. She certainly didn't include 'Being Great and Powerful' on her resumé. May I recommend we enter, so you can ask her yourself?"
The mailpony sighed. "I suppose we should."
Much to Ditzy's relief, somepony had thought ahead before engaging in whatever it was the two were doing, moving tables and chairs to provide a clear stage for the epic imaginary combat. While the grey mare was expecting her daughter, who was bouncing eagerly around her foe, Trixie came as a surprise. Especially given that in place of her hat and cape, she had opted for a headband adorned with glitter-covered balls on springs. Apparently, these swaying antennae designated her as the Great and Terrible Trixon, who was standing proud and resolute in the face of youthful hyperactivity. "None can defeat Trixon, foalish Equestrian!"
Dinky smirked. "That's where you're wrong, evil invader!" She screwed her eyes shut and focused so hard that the newcomers could see her shaking with effort. A faint glow formed around her horn, intermittently at first, then consistently.
A similar aura surrounded Trixie, too faintly to make out its color. She looked from side to side, panic clearly rising. "No! Not unicorn magic! My race's one weakness! How could you have known?" She brought a forehoof to her forehead, sighed theatrically, and collapsed.
Dinky, exhausted more from magic than hopping around, risked a peek at her nemesis. Pleased to see that the threat from distant Mars was neutralized, she said to the vanquished alien, "How was that, Miss Trixie?"
The azure unicorn rose with a smile and gingerly plucked her "costume" from her head via telekinesis. "Very well done for a filly your age, Dinky. Consistent output is the first key to mastering magic, and I would say you're just about perfect with it."
"Yay!" The filly resumed her bouncing, too pleased with herself to stay still.
Trixie had a smile of her own, somewhere between indulgence and simply enjoying the adorable spectacle before her. Then she furrowed her brow as she noticed something odd. "You know, you can stop channeling now. I'm sure you must be getting a headache by this point."
"Huh?" Dinky paused in her joyous oscillation to look at her horn. Sure enough, there was a spark of light shining at the tip. She gasped in delight and looked around the library, crying "Mommy's here! Mommy's here!"
"Oh dear," came an ever-so-slightly amused stage whisper from behind a bookshelf, "it appears that we've been spotted."
Ditzy was less subtle. "Muffin!" And by "less subtle", the narrator means "zooming across the library to embrace her daughter."
"You're okay!" Ditzy cheered.
"I am now, Muffin. I am now."
The moment was spoiled a bit by the other unicorn anxiously muttering, "Um, how much did you see, Sir?"
Flawless's grin was perhaps a bit more pronounced than usual. Perhaps. "Enough, o Great and Terrible Trixon."
A blush was turning Trixie's cheeks a shade of purple she'd find most loathsome. "I am so fired, aren't I?"
"On the contrary, Miss Hobbitses. Once the younger Majesty hears of this, I am certain that She will want to expand your duties."
"Really?"
"Oh my, yes. We've never had a designated foal care professional in the staff. The maids usually just drew lots when the need presented itself."
The unicorn's grin froze in place, becoming little more than a baring of teeth. "I... see. Thank you, Sir."
Trixie's dread was interrupted by a young voice. "Miss Trixie?"
She shook the thoughts of countless wailing brats drooling on her out of mind. "Yes, Dinky?"
The filly gave a solemn bow. "Thank you for helping me with my magic."
Okay, the inactive showpony thought to herself, maybe it won't be so bad. Aloud, she said, "Think nothing of it, my dear. It was my pleasure. I can only hope that one day I can have a foal with half of your talent and charisma." Seeing the ecstatic look this brought to the daughter, Trixie moved her gaze to the mother. "And you must be Ditzy Doo."
The blonde smirked. She had not forgotten the show in Ponyville. "Must I? I'm flattered that somepony as magnificent as the Great and Powerful Trixie would know my name."
"Eh heh heh heh..." Guilt, a recent but increasingly familiar companion, made itself known to the silver-maned mare. "You're from Ponyville, aren't you?"
"I'm afraid so."
Much to Ditzy's surprise, Trixie drooped. "I know that this is woefully inadequate, but I really am sorry about the whole debacle. I honestly never meant for anypony to get hurt, but I never dreamt that those two idiot fancolts would actually try and stage a live Ursa vanquishing." She faced her past along with the pony who brought it back to her, and the pegasus could see the sincerity in her eyes. "I was taught that a truly good solo act should dominate the stage. I guess I forgot that that doesn't extend to the rest of life."
For a moment, Ditzy was stunned. The shameless self-promoter she remembered from months ago was clearly still in there somewhere. The Trixon incident proved that. But this was genuine penitence. A bit late, perhaps, but genuine. She felt her ears fold against her skull. "I'm sorry, too. You've clearly grown as a pony since you left Ponyville. Digging up the past was uncalled for. Still, I have to wonder, what caused such a massive change?"
The magician smiled. "Princess Luna. She's taught me quite a bit on what it means to be respected. She may be the younger sister, but She still has millennia of wisdom to offer us common ponies."
Dinky rolled her eyes and whispered, "Is she always this sappy?"
Flawless leaned down to her and replied, "Only when there's a Princess in the room. Is your mother royalty?"
This merited a giggle from the filly, followed by a yawn. Maternal reflexes came to the fore, and Ditzy employed a well-practiced tone of voice, gentle, but unquestionable. "Dinky, I think it's time for you to go to bed."
Filial reflexes kicked in as well. "I'm not tired!" The young unicorn's body apparently disagreed, based on the yawn that immediately followed this proclamation.
The blonde smiled affectionately. "Yes you are, Sleepy Muffin. Mr. Composure, could I ask you to take Dinky to... wherever it is she's been sleeping?"
The earth stallion nodded. "Certainly, Madam. You will undoubtedly be pleased to know that she slept at your side, and had to be practically carried out of the room late this morning."
"That pony couldn't have been a doctor!" added the filly in question. "He didn't even have a lab coat on!"
"Come now, little one. If you hurry, I'll tell you the story of how my great-grandmother was nearly banished to the Moon." Stars in her eyes, Dinky followed Flawless without further complaint.
As the two left, Ditzy turned back to Trixie. "Thanks again. I've honestly been worried about how she'd learn to use magic."
"I take it her father is...?"
"No longer with us."
Trixie moved to Ditzy's side, nuzzling as much as propriety allowed. "You have my most sincere condolences."
"It's... been a while. I know he'd want me to be happy."
"Without a doubt." The two shared a smile. The unicorn's then took a turn for the sly. "Now, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about the circumstances of your arrival in Canterlot..."
"Ugh..." Rainbow Dash, as has been noted, hated waking up. More than that, she hated waking up because she couldn't sleep anymore. Hers was a very active lifestyle, and every moment of rest was a precious gift from the Sandpony to be treasured and savored. To have the jerk abandon her in her time of need? Unconscionable.
What made matters worse was that yesterday had dragged on long into the night. Her house's behavior was violating everything she knew about electrostatics and cloud-based architecture, which, at the risk of tooting her own horn, was a considerable amount. The place was simply building up charge faster than what should have been possible. Dash had even asked Twilight about the possibility of magic being involved. According to the egghead, a unicorn would've had to have been beneath the house for days to pull off this kind of effect, and the cyan mare knew for a fact that no such thing had taken place.
So, grumbling and grousing all the while, Dash had checked and rechecked her measurements, and time and time again came back with impossible answers. Meanwhile, her home had turned almost pitch black, with no amount of thunderbucking returning it to the pristine white it was supposed to be. She'd even had to stop the rainbowfall, since the somewhat unstable fluid behaved unpredictably when mixed with this much electricity. In the end, she had fallen into bed frustrated and exhausted, no closer to any answers than when she'd woken up, and dreading another restless, nightmare-laden night.
Surprisingly, that hadn't happened. Sure, the smell of ozone and the prickling of her mane had been aggravating for a while, but at some point the pegasus had drifted off into a sleep so deep she didn't even remember dreaming. Now, she didn't feel her usual sluggishness, but an agitated energy. She wanted to do something. She just didn't know what.
Dash decided that she may as well assess her home situation, since she was so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. (A cursory glance confirmed that the latter was purely figurative. Of course, she only cared because it'd wreck her aerodynamics. It wasn't like she was actually concerned with something as girly as her manedo.) This decided, she flew out her bedroom window, noted with disgust that she'd managed to wake up before sunrise, and turned to see how much of her house had blown up in the night.
Fortunately, it was only a few minutes before sunrise, which meant that enough light was peaking over the eastern horizon for the keen pegasus eye to make out most details. To Dash's delighted amazement, her house was still intact. Furthermore, it was white again! Incredulous, she settled on her front stoop and dug her hooves into the puffy surface. Sure enough, there was no tingle of pent-up lightning. "This is awesome!" she cheered. "I'm gonna turn the rainbowfall back on!"
Dash put deeds to words, surging to the start of the elaborate plumbing that provided what she felt was an essential accent to any home. (What? Home improvement is totally not girly. Go look at a construction team in Cloudsdale and tell Dash that those stallions are girly.) However, once she got to the carefully constructed storage tank on her roof, she couldn't help but facehoof. "Oh, come on!"
Apparently, all of the charge in the house had come together immediately under the container of liquid rainbow. It was almost as though her home had developed a beauty mark. A blacker-than-black, ferociously crackling, heavily ionized beauty mark. "Great," she muttered. "Now what am I going to do with you?"
As if in response, the rainbow tank began to list, the tubing audibly straining against the sudden torque.
"Ohnoohnoohnoohnooooo!" Dash dashed to the unattached end of the fat cylinder and essentially hugged it, trying to get as tight a grip as she could. Desperately, she beat her wings at top speed, trying to provide enough lift to keep the tank from falling through the errant patch of cloud. Her mind raced along with her wings: Too much energy. Must've overwhelmed the null-weight magic on the tank. Gotta try and shift it. If it falls, it's gonna break open in the middle of town. Can't let that happen. Can not let that happen. You hear me, Rainbow Jennifer Dash? This is one thing that went up that ain't goin' down. Just gotta try and get some horizontal movement. Valve's closed, I can break the piping if I gotta. Just need to tilt a little to the left... TOOFARLEFTTOOFARLEFT! Buck buck buck buuuuuck...
Dash felt her life begin to flash before her eyes as she tilted into the mass of hypercharged cloud. She was up to her fillyhood "always dressed in style" phase when she realized that by now she should've either left the electrified patch or been flash-fried. Then, most improbably, she felt herself rise.
As she blinked away the tears that had totally formed because of the smell of ozone and for no other reason, she realized that she was being carried. She looked up to see the face of her rescuer. Maybe a Wonderbolt on an early morning warm-up?
The bottom dropped out of Dash's stomach. Nope, definitely not a Wonderbolt. Not unless they hired something with a thunderhead for a... head. One that had rainbow flames continually pouring out of what must be its eyes. Fighting the urge to panic, she looked around the rest of her savior's form. Okay, weird forelegs that bend the wrong way, like Spike's. "Arms", maybe? No hindlegs to speak of, just kind of trails off. Oh, look at that. The legarm things end in griffon talons. Sort of. Three claws in front, one in back, close enough. And of course, it's made of clouds and has rainbow lightning crackling through it.
Fighting the urge to shout (not scream, definitely not shriek for Mom), she turned back to, for lack of a better term, the thing's "face." "Um, thanks for the save, but could you, uh, let me go?"
The constant streams of prismatic fire briefly interrupted themselves. Dash guessed that that was the thing's form of blinking. Then, it stretched its forelimbs out and spread its talons. The pegasus rolled out of them and began a steady hover. "So, um... what are you?"
It did the weird flame-gap-blink thing again, then gave what was unmistakably a bow. Understandably, this did not clarify things for the mare in the least.
Unnoticed by either, a specialized storage tank jutted out of the bottom of the house, completely empty.
Loyalty Elemental 3RR
Creature — Elemental
Flying
Players other than Loyalty Elemental's owner can't control it. (If this creature would enter the battlefield under another player's control, it instead enters the battlefield under its owner's control.)
"Elemental loyalty is as intractable as a mountain and as unpredictable as a wildfire. Those who earn it are mighty indeed. Those who would exploit it end up crushed and burned."
—Mineral MacGuffin, A Guide to the Elements of Harmony, Third Edition
3/3
Sweetie Belle woke up just before sunrise, too excited to stay asleep. Usually, such an event would only happen on Celestmas or her birthday, but today was even better! Today she'd really definitely probably hopefully get her cutie mark! For SCIENCE! Let those so-called friends of hers laugh and call her a dictionary. She'd still have hers first! Muahahaha—
A thump on the wall interrupted the Crusader's triumphant cackle. The message behind it was clear. Since her room shared a wall with Rarity's, she had to be quiet or her sister would sew her into bed. Literally. There were still needle holes in the mattress.
The younger unicorn finished her science laugh of science under her breath, then went to examine The Device™. The bizarre contraption in the middle of her bedroom was now studded with jewels in every color of the rainbow, and a few more besides. Emeralds, sapphires, rubies, diamonds, even things she'd had never heard of. She'd just seen them in her sister's gem chest and knew that they were right.
Sweetie didn't know much about aesthetics, beyond it being a word Rarity used constantly, but she could appreciate how shape, color, texture, and positive and negative space all came together to make The Device™ into an amazing optical illusion. Depending on the viewing angle, the assembly formed itself into one of several impossible shapes. Its creator's personal favorite was a wagon whose angles laughed in the face of Euclopean geometry.
Her gaze lingered on the on/off switch. Sweetie wasn't sure what would happen when she flipped it and sent a magical current through The Device™, but she knew that she wanted the other Crusaders there when she did. They might all get science cutie marks! Of SCIENCE!
Another knock interrupted the filly's impromptu victory dance. For a moment, she prepared herself for facing the dread horror known as "just-awakened Rarity" before realizing that the sound came from downstairs. Curious and eager to demonstrate her maturity, Sweetie Belle headed to the front door. As she opened it and began reciting the line her sister had had her memorize for just such an occasion, she had her eyes closed, to underscore the degree of grown-up-edness she was displaying. "Hello, and welcome to the Carousel Boutique. I regret to inform you that we are not presently open for business, but we will gladly accept your patronage between the hours of..." The filly trailed off, having finally opened her eyes to double check the hours of operation sign. She also had her first look at what she'd assumed was an early customer.
Sweetie's first thought was that the gemstones of Equestria had come for revenge. The entity at the door appeared to be a giant floating sapphire, looking more than anything like one third of Rarity's cutie mark gigantically come to life. When the huge crystal, easily three times her own height, didn't immediately storm into the shop, the filly calmed down enough to notice the smaller stones circling it. Each looked like two skinny pyramids glued together at their bases, and they were such a beautiful, pure shade of blue, it was as though the larger jewel had brought fragments of the sky for barter.
Faced with such a strange and alien being, Sweetie Belle found herself representing all of Equestria. Her next words would likely decide the fate of millions. "Um... Hi?"
The large gem began to glow, then refracted its light through its facets in a clearly deliberate and meaningful sequence.
The meaning was, understandably, lost on the young unicorn. "I like your... shine?"
One of the satellite jewels moved away from its brethren, the rest spreading out to maintain equidistance. The crystal slowly floated towards the filly. When she flinched back, it accelerated to a speed faster than she could follow. One moment, it was creeping towards her. The next, it was touching her horn.
Alarm and disgust were quickly overwhelmed by a rush of pure information. Sweetie knew that this being wouldn't hurt her. She knew that there were a total of eight satellite crystals, including the one making contact with her, and that they were part of the same creature as the larger gem that they orbited. She knew that the octahedron fusing with her was supplying her with a link to something that could become so much more. And when the main crystal repeated its pattern of flashes, she knew exactly what it was saying.
Greetings. I seek the Bearer of Generosity. I see that you are her sibling. Please, will you take me to her?
"Well—"
You are concerned regarding her demeanor upon awakening. I assure you that I can ease her out of slumber in a way that she will find enjoyable and invigorating.
"How—?"
Your surface thoughts are clear to me. I shall not probe further without your permission.
"Who—?"
Your sister is the Bearer of Generosity. I am generosity.
Sweetie Belle shrugged. She might be a unicorn, but this level of magical shenanigans was clearly outside of her age bracket. "Follow me."
Thank you.
"...Hey, can—"
No. I cannot determine the nature of your cutie mark.
"Aww..."
Generosity Elemental 3UU
Creature — Elemental
Each creature you control has the activated abilities of each other creature you control.
4, T: Untap target creature.
"Generosity flows like wind or water, open and indiscriminate. However, it flows on currents not of matter, but of thought."
—Mineral MacGuffin, A Guide to the Elements of Harmony, Third Edition
3/3
Applejack strode into the orchard straight and proud, as was befitting the import of today's work. As the summer drew to a close, the apple crop went into the home stretch, the last chance for parasites and disease to wreak their havoc before the harvest. Now more than ever, it was essential that a close eye be kept on the trees, lest all the year's effort be for naught.
Oh sure, given enough time and information, even somepony as flighty as Rainbow Dash or fussy as Rarity could tell where something was amiss. (Heck, Rarity's obsession with detail might make her pretty good at it if she could get past the dirt.) Other earth ponies would be able to get by with less, able to tell from the ebb and flow of life where trouble might lay. Still, they'd need some outside know-how to go from the "where" to the "why".
But the ponies of the Apple Clan were the undisputed masters of Malus domestica diagnosis. A pony with the family fruit on her flank could, with a glance, discern between insectoid, fungal, microbial, and combination infestations. One look at the pattern of bites on a leaf would be enough to know which caterpillars could stay and which had to go. A single sniff of a wormhole could tell an Apple clanspony precisely which race of vermin had dared, dared to befoul his family's pride.
They didn't just grow apples. They knew apples. They lived apples. They were Apples.
Given all this, when Applejack found the most perfect apple she'd even seen, the reader hopefully appreciates the profundity of this statement.
The orange mare examined the fruit in awe. Its skin was the bold crimson of a mid-life crisis and shined like a mirror. Though the apple had obviously fallen from its tree, it bore not a single bruise, blemish, or other contusion. Its flesh felt firm, fresh, and ripe in her practiced hooves. It smelled of life itself. Every instinct in Applejack's body told her that this was a pomaceous prince. King of the cultivars. The Kwisatz Haderapple.
Her stomach grumbled. AJ swallowed, uncomfortably aware of just how much this glorious specimen was making her mouth water. She knew that she'd eaten a considerable breakfast not half an hour ago, but her body had apparently found room somewhere for this avatar of appledom. Slowly, she brought the masterpiece to her mouth, hesitant to soil such glory with her base lips, yet desiring nothing more. Her awareness shrank to hold only the apple, or perhaps it expanded until she was aware of nothing else.
Then it opened its eye.
"Holy horseapples!" Applejack flinched back, letting the fruit fall to the ground. It seemed not to mind, focusing on her with what seemed to be curiosity. With a gastric lurch, the mare couldn't help but notice that the unexpected eye appeared to be the exact same color as her own.
Each stared at the other for a time, blinking the only movement made by either party. Eventually, the farmer's shock dropped to a point where her duty could reassert itself. She eased herself out of the crouch she'd reflexively assumed. "Well, if y' ain't gonna do nothin', Ah got trees t' inspect." With that, she resumed her patrol.
As Applejack moved away, the apple sat motionless, as apples are wont. However, judging from the slow sweep of its eye, it was deep in thought. Eventually, it seemed to nod to itself as best it could. Then, its stem began to writhe.
"Hmm..." A hundred little signs came together and Applejack nodded to herself. Pulling a piece of chalk from her saddlebags, she drew a square on the trunk of a tree, then added a "3" inside of it. Apple trees had too many enemies to feasibly carry every possible countermeasure, so the clan devised a series of pictographs to determine which would be needed at any given time.
As the pony returned the chalk to her side, her ears perked up. There was a rustle. Her head bolted upright and she immediately began looking for the intruder. "Ah don' wanna hurt ya," she called out, "so jus' come out slow an' peaceful-like an' we won't have no trouble."
The source of the rustling quickly revealed itself, much to Applejack's amazement. As far as she could tell, it was the cyclopean apple from earlier, except now it was upside down. And had legs. The legs seemed to be growing out of its stem, which would explain the inversion. In any case, it didn't seem too confident on the appendages, stumbling now and again like a newborn foal.
Something about the strange thing struck a chord in the mare's heart. She gave a sweet little smile at the thing, which was visibly becoming more confident on its limbs. They even kind of looked like a young foal's legs, just made of wood. The eye-bearing apple was poised above its center of mass, but it was still cute in a weird way now that there was something more to it. "Aww..."
The creature blinked at her and took a cautious step forward.
Applejack knelt before it. "Now don' be shy, li'l critter. Ol' AJ ain't gonna hurt ya none."
It looked at her, and the farmer knew beyond any doubt that it understood her. As surely as her instincts had just detected a particularly nasty breed of hornworm, they were now telling her that this creature trusted her. It was, to say the least, disconcerting. The earth pony brought her head to the ground, bringing her eye-to-eye with her discovery. "What in blazes are ya, li'l feller?"
Its answer was to nuzzle her cheek. That told her everything she needed to know. I am yours.
Applejack laughed a bit at the sheer peculiarity of it all. "Now listen here," she told her new.. pet? Friend? Child? She'd figure it out later. "Ah've still got plenty o' trees t' check, but Ah reckon ya kin follow along."
Her... companion, let's go with that. Her companion nodded eagerly and soon fell into step behind her.
Big Macintosh chewed his signature hay stalk as he waited at the edge between the west and south fields. Applejack must've found a nasty little epidemic to be taking this long, and the faster he could learn what it was, the faster he could prepare the proper heavy-duty antivarmint device.
A subtle vibration in the ground made the red stallion look down quizzically. Well, that was odd.
"Hay there, Big Macintosh!" He looked back up. There was his sister, but the look on her face was a lot more upbeat than he'd been expecting.
"What took ya so long, AJ?" he said pleasantly. After all, if his sister was happy, so was he. "Ah bet Granny Smith coulda checked them trees faster'n that!"
She made angry eyes at him, but there was a smile beneath them. "Don'tcha go sayin' that where she kin hear it. She'll take ya up on that bet faster'n ya kin say 'Golden Delicious'."
This merited a chuckle from the plowpony. "Eeyup. So, ain't nothin' serious, then?"
"Oh, it's serious all right. Just ain't nothin' t' worry over." Applejack turned and gave a sharp whistle.
Big Macintosh was, understandably, rather confused. "Winona come with ya?"
With a smirk, the mare imitated her brother "Eenope."
As if on cue, something emerged from the southern field. Big Mac absently noted that the hay stalk had fallen out of his mouth. Given that his jaw has hanging open, it didn't surprise him. The one-eyed, giant-apple-headed, sapling-legged whatsit that was as tall as him? That surprised him. "AJ, what in tarnation..."
That blasted smirk was still there. "It followed me home. Kin Ah keep it?"
The stallion's response was distant, as though he had decided this was all a dream and it was best to play along until he woke up. "Ah reckon y' oughta ask Granny. Or maybe Miss Twilight. Seems like somethin' she'd know about."
"Good idea, big brother. Ah'll be in town if'n ya need me. C'mon, Paul!" With that, Applejack headed out, her discovery in tow.
As Big Macintosh watched them leave, he swore he could hear the thing thing grow. Stopped by shock and incredulity, the gears in his head finally started up again. "...'Paul'?"
Honesty Elemental 3GG
Creature — Elemental
Honesty Elemental can't be countered.
Shroud
"Honesty is direct and forceful, a punch in the face rather than a knife in the back. Some find it refreshing. Others just think it painful."
—Mineral MacGuffin, A Guide to the Elements of Harmony, Third Edition
5/4
Pinkie Pie awoke to a slowly repeating tap at her bedroom window. Being who she was, her mind immediately assigned the the sound to a would-be suitor throwing rocks at the window to attract her attention. This idea was then dismissed as highly improbable, since not only was it broad daylight, but the only ponies capable of holding a boom box in their front hooves without falling over would be pegasi, who could just rap on the window with a hind hoof at a much faster frequency, and Lyra, who was neither single nor Pinkie's gender of preference.
Only after debunking her own hopes of early morning romance did the mare actually bother to see who or what was striking her window. It was indicative of the ebb in her Pinkie Sense that it didn't register this as a doozy.
Outside the window were three enormous heads. As Pinkie watched, one threw itself forward, bouncing off the window and producing a surprisingly quiet tap. The other two noticed that the curtains had been opened, and ceased their own pendular motion. Each was oddly reflective, oddly shaped, and oddly colored. The first and last, the party pony realized, were because the heads were actually gigantic balloons, monochrome rubber envelopes shining in the early morning light.
The second quality took a bit longer to puzzle out. The balloons were clearly head-shaped, but not pony-head-shaped. Indeed, none of them seemed likely to appear on any manner of creature, yet they were clearly functional. Despite their composition, Pinkie could see their eyes move and blink, and their mouths silently move as though chewing invisible bubble gum.
After a few moments spent contemplating the relative merits of invisible bubble gum versus its visible counterpart, the earth pony returned to the matter at hand. Three balloon-heads. One yellow, one blue, one red. Each a caricature of some nonequine race. Each looking at her, almost expectantly.
Then, somehow, it clicked. "Oh, I get it!" Cheerfully, she named each in turn. "Trollface, awesomeface, forever-alone-face."
With this incantation, all three inflated icons began to laugh uproariously, producing far more volume than they had tried to get her attention.
Pleased at solving the puzzle, Pinkie left her room and made for the front door.
"Pinkie?" She was waylaid by a still-drowsy Mrs. Cake. "What's going on, dear?"
"Oh, nothing important, Mrs. Cake. There was just a physical embodiment of the Element of Laughter outside my window, and now that I've properly identified its memetic origins, it and I are going to go have wacky adventures!"
The baker took this all quite well in stride. How much was living with Pinkie and how much was not being even remotely awake yet was difficult to say. "I see. One of those dreams again. I'll best go back to bed before the blondies start performing Gaskin and Stallivan." All right, maybe not so difficult. "Have a good time, dear."
"Thanks, Mrs. Cake!" With that, Pinkie bounced her way out of the Sugarcube Corner. As she did so, the idea accidentally given to her by the mare she thought of as a second mother took root in her fertile imagination. By the time Pinkie was at the ground floor of the bakery, the trumpets and strings were already piping in from beyond the perceivable universe.
"I am the very model of a modern cartoon character
With sanity that's low enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter.
I know our ancient history and ponies inspirational
From Applejack to Scootaloo in order generational.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with all matters hilarious.
I understand plays on words both the work-safe and precarious.
About festival theorem I am teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful tales about that one time with the chocolate mousse!
(With many cheerful tales about that one time with the chocolate mousse!
With many cheerful tales about that one time with the chocolate mousse!
With many cheerful tales about that one time with the chocolate-ocolate mousse!)
I'm very good at musically defusing potential fights.
I know the single working means of counteracting parasprites.
In short, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter,
I am the very model of a modern cartoon character!
(In short, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter,
She is the very model of a modern cartoon character!)
I know the fanon aggregate, the OCs of the Fallout 'verse,
I've seen the grimdark Tumblrs and a few things that are even worse.
I've seen humanizations and Equestria creation myths,
Conversion Bureau, Antipodes, coolness multiplied by six fifths;
I can tell at once a Mary Sue that needs to die a fiery death
And praise the ten percent that Sturgeon's Law has spared in the same breath
And I admire bronies who eschew virtual violence,
As when something good came of 4chan via love and tolerance!
(As when something good came of 4chan via love and tolerance!
As when something good came of 4chan via love and tolerance!
As when something good came of 4chan via love and toler-olerance!)
Then I can write an invoice for the Corner's bestest customer
And pop up somewhere guaranteed to make my friends all flustimered.
In short, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter,
I am the very model of a modern cartoon character!
(In short, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter,
She is the very model of a modern cartoon character!)
In fact, when I know what is meant by "Psychoshy" and "Appledash",
When I can tell from sight at once the Hubble from my sugar stash,
When such assorted in-jokes and memetics I can allude to,
And when I know precisely what's been referenced by "shoo-be-doo",
When I know all the puns that can be made with horse anatomy,
When more humans adore me than Celestia's academy,
In short, as I'm one part of six of elemental harmony...
(Harmony? Jarmony, karmony, larmony, ooh!)
You'll say that I'm an undisputed master cartoon charm pony!
(You'll say that she's an undisputed master cartoon charm pony!
You'll say that she's an undisputed master cartoon charm pony!
You'll say that she's an undisputed master cartoon charm po-arm pony!)
My existence, though my backstory long into my past extends
Was only begun back in the beginning of the twenty-tens.
And so, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter
I am the very model of a modern cartoon character!
(And so, as one insane enough to be fourth-wall aware-iter
She is the very model of a modern cartoon character!)"
As the unseen orchestra got their last few notes in, Pinkie considered the entity now before her, having made her way to the balloon being over the course of the musical number. It really did appear to be a trio of living balloons, complete with strings that trailed down, knotted themselves, and reemerged as spindly legs. The massive heads looked down at her and hooted with laughter again.
"It's a good thing this story takes place before Season Two," the mare mused, "or I'd find this a lot more disturbing. Come on, guys! Let's go have some fun!"
The laughter elemental literally jumped for joy, then brought the red, wrinkled head dubbed "trollface" down so Pinkie could scramble up on it. Once she was in place, all four mouths gave another lengthy guffaw as the thing began wandering who-knew-where.
Laughter Elemental 3BB
Creature — Elemental
Whenever an opponent loses life, you may gain that much life. (Damage causes loss of life.)
"Laughter can be many things. Mirthful or malicious, cold or crazed, it shows that at least one pony is happy, but says nothing about how."
—Mineral MacGuffin, A Guide to the Elements of Harmony, Third Edition
2/2
Fluttershy's cottage. A place of peace and healing. More so than usual, in fact. Patients were recovering at speeds the pegasus had never seen before. Normally, she would be thrilled that the animals were healing at such uncanny rates, but she couldn't help but think: What if they healed faster than she could treat them? This wasn't a matter of job security, but of practical medicine. Oh, diseases wouldn't be concern, since the microbes didn't appear to be similarly vitalized, but what about injuries? Already there were animals with fractures that were healing twice as fast as expected. What if some poor squirrel broke a bone that mended incorrectly before Fluttershy could set it? She just didn't know if she could intentionally break a bone, to cause pain and suffering in the name of healing. It flew in the face of the Hippocampic Oath! What would the legendary seapony known as the Father of Medicine say upon seeing one who had taken his solemn vow doing such a thing?
Well, assuming that seaponies could speak or, indeed, even breathe in air. If they existed at all. And even if they did, this was the pony who'd claimed that mares and stallions had different numbers of teeth without bothering to count. Not to mention—
Fluttershy was interrupted from the deconstruction of her hero by a knock at the door. "Coming!" she called, grateful for the visitor. She wasn't sure she wanted to follow that line of though to its conclusion. No, that way led to unpleasantly applied bonesaws and giant glowing Marescovites... The butter-coated pegasus cleared her head of such distasteful thoughts as she opened the door. "Helloooooh my..."
Eyes the size of her head stared back at her. A mouth was opened wide enough to swallow her whole. And the face in which these features were set not only filled her doorway, it was giving off its own light. The effect was akin to the full moon coming down from the heavens to ask if it could borrow a cup of banished pony, having found itself fresh out.
Fluttershy's reaction was both predictable and entirely understandable. "Eep!" With that, she slammed her door in the prodigious face. As the gentle mare fought to get her breathing under control, she gradually became aware of a strange sound coming from outside. It wasn't a growl, a scratching, or even the regular bass susurration that should have come from the breathing of something as big as her visitor.
It was sobbing.
The unmistakable cries immediately switched the instinct guiding Fluttershy's actions from "fight or flight" to "maternal". She opened the door again to see that same massive form with eyes screwed shut, expressing its sorrow with a surprisingly gentle, high-pitched voice.
Guilt and regret stabbed at the pony. She'd caused this! Well then, she could fix it as well. Since the behemoth had moved back a bit (probably from shock, the poor thing), it was easy for her to work her way to its side and give the best hug she could to something so enormous. "There, there," she cooed, "I'm sorry. You just startled me is all."
The sobbing ceased almost immediately. From this angle, Fluttershy could see that the creature continued for quite a length, the rearmost portions of its body extending past her fence. As it adjusted itself to get a better look at her, she saw that it was segmented into a row of nearly spherical sections, like a chain of connected bubbles. At the front and rear thirds of its span, each segment was tipped with a pair of stubby rounded legs. The pony-gulping mouth she'd been so afraid of was, she could now see, as toothless as Gummy's. Furthermore, it was now clearly smiling. Overall, it seemed to be a foal's drawing of a caterpillar, just larger and more luminous than the usual portrayal.
Despite her vast zoological experience, Fluttershy was unfamiliar with this strange entity. Between appearance and behavior, she settled on "caterpillar" as a temporary label. "Why don't we go in—" She quickly reconsidered as she realized that her house simply couldn't handle guests of this magnitude. "Go... Go to my friend Twilight! I'm sure she'll know what you are. and maybe we'll even get to see if you'll turn into a beautiful butterfly."
The glowing grub nodded, then bunched itself up and seemed to bow before her.
"Do... do you want me to ride you there?"
Another nod, a bit more awkward in its current position.
Fluttershy couldn't help but smile at the idea. "Okay. Just follow my directions and we'll be there in no time at all." A moment airborne and she settled herself atop the massive head. The larva then inched its way towards Ponyville, exuding a distinct air of triumph.
Angel watched the two go. Despite his best efforts, he simply hadn't been able to bring himself to harm the giant glowworm that had just made off with his pet pony. The thing had managed to come off as even more gentle and innocent than she did, something the lagomath would've sworn was physically impossible.
With a sigh, he righted himself upon his meditation carrot and began methodically gnawing into it. The runes were relatively simple and would take little time to inscribe. There was no sense in ruining them through haste. Once they were complete, he'd have all the time in the world to show what happened to gargantuan maggots that messed with his little pony.
Kindness Elemental 3WW
Creature — Elemental
Kindness Elemental is indestructible.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to and dealt by Kindness Elemental.
"Kindness persists long after most other elements have exhausted themselves. When there is nothing left to give, to tell, to swear to, or to laugh at, there is still somepony who wants to help."
—Mineral MacGuffin, A Guide to the Elements of Harmony, Third Edition
0/6
Where time had/has/will have no meaning
Tezzeret had been called many things by many beings. Genius, madman, boss, insect, seeker, agent, friend, murderer, and a hundred other titles better and worse than any of these. Even what he used for his name was more of a description. In the argot of the slums where he'd grown up, a tezzeret was an improvised weapon kept hidden until it could strike a crippling blow. But at his core, beneath the braggadocio, ruthlessness, and sentimentality, there was a basic truth that defined the man more than his artifice, his right arm, even his Spark:
Tezzeret was a silly man in a serious Multiverse.
This may not seem like an especially world-shaking revelation, but it did mean that if all the planeswalkers who might have been moving through the Blind Eternities, he was by far the best to encounter Ditzy Doo.
Of course, he didn't know that at the time. "What is that?"
A weedy, sarcastic voice sounded in his left ear. It was, in fact, his own, save that it was stripped of the arrogance and harshness that came from an early life spent clawing his way up from the very bottom rung of a very tall social ladder. The voice's name was Doc Jest, and its story was a long and strange one which will not be discussed here. It said this: "Offhand, I'd say a pegasus. You didn't notice, but it burst out of that plane like a homunculus with its head on fire."
"Really?"
"Yup. Think some ætherworker sent it out here?"
The dreadlocked human drifted closer to the equine ejecta, close enough to perceive which plane had spat it out. "Unlikely, for two reasons. One, æthercraft is not a common practice on Ungula."
"Ungula? Well, that'd certainly explain why it looks more like a kid's doodle than any winged horse I've ever seen. What's two?"
"It's been more than twenty seconds now and it's still a pegasus." Normally, any matter left in the Bastard Plane was torn apart by the interstitial chaos. There was only one exception to this rule.
Doc summarized that rule quite nicely. "Are you saying this thing's a planeswalker? Er, trotter? Flapper? Whatever. Is that even allowed to happen?"
"Clearly, or it wouldn't be drifting by us." Tezzeret's sentimentality gave him an unpleasant twinge as he recalled a similar first 'walk. "We're going to help this creature."
"We are?"
"Do you have any objections, Doc?"
"Would you care if I did?"
The artificer took a moment to consider this. "No. In this instance, I don't believe I would."
"As long as we get to Mirrodin eventually. The boss breathing down your neck kind of takes on a greater urgency when he's a dragon."
"Yes, yes." Through will and magic, the man set himself forward to intercept the other 'walker.
Luna squirmed a bit in the early morning sunlight. It wasn't that she'd been up for a while. She technically didn't need sleep, though according to Celestia she started going a little crazy after the two week mark. Nor was it the sensation of ceding the sky to her sister. After so long, that felt right. No, it was the idea of having to go out in public. In the day. Without an illusion. With less than twelve hours warning.
While Luna often wondered how she had justified the ecological devastation that eternal night would have brought, she never once questioned how she could've come to hate her sister.
The princess of the night decided that she needed to distance herself from that particular line of thought. "Where is Trixie? I told her to make an early night of it."
As if in response, there came that unique blend of hoofsteps, muffled curses, and ominous thumps that comes from somepony in a hurry trying very hard to neither be late nor break anything valuable. After a short while, this cacophony resolved itself into Trixie. Her horrendous bedmane hinted at how she'd rushed here. "Forgive my tardiness, Your Highnesses," she panted, bowing to each princess in turn. She then leveled a glare at Ditzy. "Somepony thought it would be funny to unleash upon me horrors the likes of which pony was not meant to know."
The pegasus met this accuastion with a flat look and a raised eyebrow until she realized that both royal sisters were staring at her with a mix of shock and revulsion. "Wha— She's exaggerating!"
"Am I, Ditzy Doo? Am I?"
"Yes! Yes, you are! You asked for a demonstration of hornless magic. I told you I was recovering from mana exhaustion. You insisted that I do something. I performed one of the few spells I could with what power was available to me."
Trixie scoffed at this. "I had no idea that transforming yourself into an eldritch abomination was so effortless for you."
The blonde sighed. "It was an illusion. A trick of the light. You do them all the time."
Luna decided that it was best to intervene, both to keep the peace and resolve this argument before all of reality collapsed out from under them. "Ditzy, what exactly did you do?"
The pegasus thought for a moment on how best to respond. "Why don't I demonstrate?"
"WHAT!?" The blue unicorn ducked and covered, planting her forehooves firmly over her eyes. "Avert Your eyes, Your Excellencies! The horror may be too great even for You!"
Celestia gave a small, puckish grin. "I'll take my chances."
Luna held back an undignified giggle. "After all this fuss, how can I look away?"
Ditzy said nothing more, simply shaping a bit of her magic into a familiar shape from her days of wandering the Multiverse. As she expected, neither princess nor her daughter had Trixie's apoplectic reaction.
The moon goddess tilted her head as she considered the phantasm. "I suppose I see how such a form would work. Seems a trifle ludicrous, but still."
Her older sister gave a warm smile. "Mother used to do something like this when you were being fussy, Luna. It never failed to make you laugh."
The same could be said of Dinky. "Mommy's a monkey!"
Trixie risked a peek out from under her hooves. "Are you all mad? It's a human! Enslavers of ponies! Despoilers of worlds! Cruelest and foulest of all demons!"
Ditzy rolled her eyes as she released the image. "They're not that bad. Well, most of them."
The showmare gazed at her with naked awe. "You... you've seen humans? And lived?"
"Seen, met, befriended. If you'd like, I'll tell you about it when the world isn't in crisis. Right now..."
"Quite." Celestia moved so she could address each of the unlikely quartet. They, in turn, formed a rough line to optimize their view of her. The sun princess smiled as she moved down the line, reviewing her troops. Kind of. If she were ever in a war where her only available forces were a lone pegasus, two unicorns, one of whom was still a filly, and her own sister, she'd probably either surrender or make the sun go nova. Depending on the nature of the enemy, of course. In any case, she came to a halt before the four of them. "Dearest friends. Loyal subjects. Beloved sibling. I have placed upon your shoulders a most awesome task, one that may decide the fate of all Equestria, if not the universe as a whole. I would never have done so if I did not have the utmost confidence that you would succeed.
"According to scouting reports, what we had most feared has come to pass. Entities the likes of which I have never seen have appeared in and around Ponyville, and appear to be congregating at the Books and Branches Library. Reports have reported five of the beings, so they are no doubt attempting to call forth the sixth, a being of pure magic. There is no telling what such a creature could be capable of.
"I ask of you this: Stop these monstrosities by any means necessary. Do not allow the most terrible of them to be born. Save this land. Will you do this?"
Ditzy bowed solemnly. "Yes, Your Majesty."
Dinky gave an exaggerated guard salute. "By your command!"
Trixie smirked. "Consider it done, Your Highness."
Luna rolled her eyes. "Now that you've gotten your speech out of the way, can we go?"
The princess of the day gave her sister a most undignified raspberry. "Oh, you're no fun."
"I just don't want all of space and time to collapse before we even get there."
The pegasus frowned and looked to the sky. "Oh, we'll have plenty of warning before any of that happens. Trust me."
The alicorns shared a concerned look, and the elder gave a nod. "Go, then. Best of luck to all of you. And Luna?"
"Yes?"
"Try not to destroy any microwave ovens."
Luna closed her eyes and muttered, "One time. I do that one time..." Sighing, she lit her horn.
At first, it was the same midnight blue as seen when she was using telekinesis. From Ditzy's perspective and to her astonishment, the glow rapidly darkened, becoming a sort of anti-light. This spread across the alicorn's body, until she was a pony-shaped patch of radiant shadow. Stars became visible in the equine void. The border between Luna and the rest of existence rapidly shifted, and the grey pegasus found herself surrounded on all sides by the inky, star-speckled void of space. She still felt something on her hooves, though when she looked down, it was just more of the all-encompassing eternal night.
Then, something at the edge of her vision drew her attention. At first, it had just been motion, but now Ditzy could put a name to it. It was blue, writhing, scintillating with specks of starlight. It was attached to an alicorn of Celestia's size whose coat blended perfectly with the nothingness around her. Green, slit-pupilled eyes were drawn to the expanse's only other occupant. A face that had been last seen during the previous summer solstice was looking at the mailmare with naked astonishment.
"Well," said Nightmare Moon, "isn't this a surprise?"
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Okay, the Elementals are almost assembled, the Meek and Penitent Trixie is trying to figure out what's going on, Nightmare Moon is in the house and Ditzy has just got some backup (not that she knows it yet). Also, Kwisatz Haderapple? This IS a nerdfest!!
15726 I'm Commander FanOfMostEverything, and this is my favorite comment on the Citadel.
nice work on your story, keep it up!
Tezzeret! Tezzeret? Tezzeret saw Ditzy Doo flying by and she's still alive? Tezzeret actually feeling pity for any living being???
I'm sorry but I think my suspension of disbelief was shattered worse then if Pinkie Pie had taken TNT to the bricks to the fourth wall. The man is very intelligent, cold, cruel, calculating, and has special talent for murdering the mother of anyone he perceives to have slighted him. Furthermore besides this break of character from someone that would fell quite at home in the Italian Mafia, if he was on his way to Mirrodin then you might of given your story a plot hole:
1) Ditzy doo wouldn't of done any planeswalking after she had returned to Equestria
2) the events in Scars of Mirrodin are too recent for Tezzeret to have started the journey to Mirrodin before Ditzy returned to Equestria.
Is it weird that I think of Walter C. Dornez whenever Flawless Composure does anything? Is that intentional, or am I completely insane?
(The following paragraph is full of Magic flavor nonsense. Ignore if you don't follow the story behind the cards.)
16544 Well, someone never read Test of Metal. Tezzeret has a soft side, believe it or not. It's just very well hidden most of the time. Also, ever since Bolas reconstructed his brain after Jace Beleren reduced it to head cheese, Tezz has been much calmer and generally nicer than before. Oh sure, he's hung a Sword of Damocles over Jace's head, but he doesn't go out of his way to antagonize anyone who hasn't done the same to him. He may be cold, cruel, calculating, and matricidally gifted, but he's learned the value of having a friend. Yes, really. Besides, it's not like he's going to be all sweetness and light. Give me a chance here.
17878 I swear it was completely unintentional, but I definitely see how you could make the connection. That said, I don't think we'll be seeing him do anything lethally awesome with piano wire.
18094 Awwwww... too bad. Oh well, I guess he can still be an awesome butler without slaughtering hordes of ghouls.
18094
Fair enough, But that still leaves the plot hole left by your timeline. Ditzy hasn't done anymore planeswalking since she returned to Equestria. And the Blind Eternities are subject to time because they are subject to (very very frequent) change.
21366 I never said when this story was taking place on the Magic timeline (which has gotten a bit muddled anyway.) The reference to Tezzeret merely establishes one chronology's relationship to another. In this case, the events of Elementals of Harmony take place several years after the compleation of New Phyrexia. Just because the story contradicts your assumptions doesn't always mean that the story contradicts itself. It could just mean that your assumption was wrong.
That said, thanks for reading, and for caring enough to point out what you thought was a plot hole.
Yes you can, Applejack. Yes you can.
Sooo the generosity eelemental is basicly a: all your creatures are slivers and act as slivers?
As soon as I noticed that Pinkie's monolouge was a song, I sang it out loud, sadly there was no one around to hear. On a whim, I picked the Modern Major-General Song by Gilbert and Sullivan as a tune to sing to..
As I have neither Voice nor video editing skill, I ask a simple favor, of anyone bold enough to accept.. RECORD AND ANIMATE
Oh. Mah. Gawd.
That was the most epic written musical number ever. I mean, I've gotten used to Pinkie's 4th wall interactions in fanfics, but not like this. That isn't cracking, watching, breaking, leaning, or even shattering the 4th wall. That song was trotting purposefully up to it, (rape-face blazing)
bucking out a perfectly pony shaped piece of it, and dancing a perfectly choreographed ballroom dance with a manifestation of the border betwixt reality and unreality moved to move to the music by the sheer power of PINK.
and.
It.
WAS.
GLORIOUS!
Celestia: "Oh, you're no fun anymore!"
That song was astounding. I feel astounded. Dear Horsie Writer, you have astounded me.
Forever alone face? I suddenly want to go watch epic jump map on YouTube. And am I right when I say the song goes to the tune of animaniacs' " I am the model of a modern cartoon individual"
3580880 The original song is Modern M8jor General 8y Gil8ert and Sullivan, although that song might 8e a p8rody. When I sung it I was thinking Every M8jor's T8rri8le 8y the xkcd guy.
~Vriska Serket
The Elementals are awesome. That is all.
Much reference
So wow
My brain died
Trixie said, "Consider it done.." We have a G3 alert! We have a G3 alert! Evacuate!
Hail Phyrexia!
5756044
I'm afraid I don't understand. There are a lot of references in this chapter, but that one wasn't intentional.
5756156 Men, there was a Pegasus in G3 that said that a lot. I was tired and half insane when I posted.
Applejack named him Paul. Who's a Paul? He's a Paul. Like apple. Dammit Foamy with your word games
6575565
Actually, it's a Dune reference. He is Paul Apal'dib, the Kwisatz Haderapple.
Oh that Comedic Dastard, always up to his shenanigans, even in past Equestria. :D
Also RD's elemental probably needs a bit more punch to it. 5 for 3/3 is a real bad deal unless it's got kick-flank abilities, and all it's got is "can't be stolen."
6790809
And flying. Red doesn't exactly have a history of efficient fliers.
pls nerf
Y'know, there is a certain ancient and mysterious school of knowledge known only to country folk. Playing the banjo, collecting unnecessarily-large knives, distilling moonshine, using 'y'all' and 'ain't' properly, keeping a varmint kill count, enjoying NASCAR, that sort of thing. Among the many arcane and time-honored ways of the good ol' boy is the 'shit-eating grin'. A wide, thin smile with or without slightly bared teeth, narrowed eyes, and a very slight forward lean difficult to properly gauge while moving. This smile indicates that the user is about to do, or has recently done, something tremendously mischievous and (by the time of the grin) unavoidable to the viewer and they are joyously awaiting the glorious payoff of the victim's irritated reaction. This is the look I'd expect to see on Applejack's face as she nonchalantly approaches her brother with a walking, talking, growing, and apparently sapient apple larger than she is in tow and behaves as though nothing is wrong, and it is truly a beautiful thing.
- Headwind
If one ever needs a reminder of how painful meta can be...
7577856
In my defense, I wrote this five years ago.
7577870 Your point being?
Regardless of any fluctuation in skill over the years, this remains a perfect example of how metahumor can be detrimental. Just because an author went on to be fantastic doesn't mean their early work can't be held up in classes as an example of How Not to Do It.
...
This was awesome!!!
I loved how the elementals all seemed to become manifestations of the cutie marks, while at the same time become uniquely awesome. Thier powers and abilitiyes in their cards make sense. I love the creativity behind the monsters. I also love the interactions between Tia and Luna
Me-thinks this may be relivent.
8409595
It's *sniff* beautiful!
So he's named for a fancier-sounding shank?
10489206
Yup. I didn't even make this bit up; it comes from the Magic novel Test of Metal.
7577856
We talking literary fandom meta, or TCG competitive level meta? Both are applicable.
I believe that should be "had."
Edit:
What's this a reference to?
And what was the Dwarf Fortress reference, if you don't mind?
10640633
I swear, this is proof that typos breed when you aren't looking.
As for the bonesaws and such, I'll just leave a link.
This is just an Exquisite Blood bear. I think it should cost 4BB instead.
11107442
1. This was literally made before Exquisite Blood was printed; I was working off my best guess while exploring then-new territory.
2. Making Exquisite Blood die to Shock doesn't seem like it should constitute a cost increase, especially when it's already harder to cast due to the double-black.