Civil twilight [n]: the brightest phase of twilight
Twilight goes to visit her friends in and around Ponyville.
But even Twilight Sparkle has a dark side...
Approved by Twilight's Library!
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
- offline last seen 10 hours ago
PresentPerfect
Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect
PresentPerfect
Joined 3rd Sep, 2011 ·
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>No but seriously, no one's going to like this. :B
...I liked it.
Well, I liked it well enough anyway. It actually reminds me a hell of a lot of a fic I wrote awhile ago for that mature write-off. Of course, yours is decidedly less, err, explicit. Sure, yours is probably a lot more violent, but no violence actually happens... unlike mine. Anyway, I enjoyed it, but then again I'm a big fan of [Dark] fics which are rarely done well. This, I'd say, was done fairly well. It's sort of like mind-gore, as opposed to mindless gore. So, good on you.
Hah. No, actually, I liked this quite a lot. I kinda dig the idea of Twilight secretly being driven crazy by exposure to all the mundanities of her friends' lives, and fantasising about completely throwing caution to the wind. Although I can't say I have an internal voice as ultraviolent as that, I think everyone does ponder every so often on what would happen if they just ignored the rules for once. I mean, right now, I could pop down the train station and go to Edinburgh. Sure, it would be financially irresponsible, and I'd annoy the friends I was going out with tomorrow. But I could. What, exactly, is stopping me? Myself? 'The rules'? My perception thereof? Makes you wonder.
Of course, when it comes to someone with thoughts as dark as Twilight's, the scariest part is what exactly is holding them back, and what the tipping point is that'll cause them to snap and act out their darkest desires. Which makes this dark story so deliciously chilling
Meh, it's okay I guess.
Wow, this was really good. I could just feel the edge, but Twilight handled it well. Its just random thought you are correct. Normal people get on with there lives. How hasn't secretly thought about doing violence to someone, but you don't do it. Twilight isn't a psycho.
Everyone has that little voice. But if yours is this... vivid, you probably ought to seek help yes ;)
All of my yes. Finally a Twilight written by an actual OCD, who understands what the disease actually entails. That said, Twilight herself doesn't get violent obsessions. Her obsessions are all about being a failure in the eyes of those around her, who she puts on a pedestal above herself. That said, if she did have violent obsessions, this fic is a great approximation of what they would be like. She seems like the sort to politely ignore them. One thing that saddens me about the fic is that it didn't show her compulsions to go with her obsessions. We've seen from several episodes she does have compulsions (nervous tics around the ear and jaw, rubbing hooves together, symmetry,sorting, checking), and when an OCD is exacerbated this way they tend to have compulsions go with their obsessions.
2596315
No joke, I came up with this story after realizing that I was contemplating sticking a needle in my cat's eye. :( I didn't do it, for the record.
2596459
I will not claim to have OCD. I most likely don't.
2596662 ... Alrighty then! Shrink time!
I have this little voice in my head. It tells me to blow up gas stations and watch the glorious fireballs. Then again, it also tells me to power bomb people off the third floor of some random apartment building through a table and to set up an illegal cop vs. hobo fighting arena.
2596662 if you have this voice running through your head constantly, it's entirely possible. At the very least your Twilight has classic symptoms of OCD that all other renditions of the character seem to miss, if taken in a direction that isn't really one she shows any signs of being symptomic of.
The crazy things that pop into our head at times. Or all the time, really, depending on the person.
I liked the story.
Sent a pm again
2596780
For me, it's just every once in a great while. I'm pretty sure there are people for whom it's far more frequent.
(
)
Yes, I like this story. It works well with
's character.
2596886 that would be an OCD. For you if it's infrequent than they're just intrusive thoughts. No, you're not crazy and no, you are not likely to act on them. It's when intrusive thoughts start to control a person's mind they become OCD. Poor Twilight.
Yeah, I liked it. A part of me thinks that it might have worked better if it was paired with scenes from the show, but it is good as it is.
Also, I didn't know that OCD also manifested in the form of intrusive thoughts. Nothing like learning something from a pony fic.
Taking up a point in your journal: I would never say ponies DON'T have bad thoughts. That would be as silly as saying they have nothing but bad ones (Like HamGravy, VonAschenbach, Bronystories, etc.) My main idea is that they either have mild ones, infrequent ones, or transiently bad periods. Or if they have bad thoughts more frequnetly or strongly they are just like the criminal element of humanity. Forlorn Hope, Crewelwork, Any Random, Streamford Grade, Dry Gulch, Morning Star d'Venus. The rest of the 'normal' ponies are simply not inclined to or capable of thinking in the terms Twilight is. See "Kinky Sex Disasters," Especially Fleur and Fancy's chapter. 'Bad'-ish ponies tried to get them into BDSM but because they did not have that inner inclination they only hurt themselves over and over again. Maybe this would apply to Rarity and Fluttershy. Since Rarity is not interested in obliterating Fluttershy's identity and Fluttershy is not interested in being an object neither one knows what to make of the gimp sit and approach it on the objective level, wherein it is ridiculous.
For the story itself... Twilight just feels strange. I have OCD, I am damn sure. I never sought out a diagnosis but I have a counting/symmetry issue, and occasionally get obtrusive thoughts that I can banish with certain rituals such as particular strokes of my mustache and rubs of my nose, or brushing, rubbing and tugging my goatee. It's not life-affecting, not really, but having to touch most things an even number of times with both hands, or both feet or some part of the body that nudged something can be hard to "do right" epecially if I touched another person. I often give up and then have to perform some kinf of ritual to clear the need, usually by touching the spot with both hands or similar. Feck, before I can sleep I touch the pillow twice with the each I am not going to sleep on, then twice with the one I want to sleep on. Twilight feels more like the creepy sociopath I have seen in every dark fic ever, Blueblood or Rarity or Molestia or similar. That she just thinks it doesn't help much. She sounds like an asshole and all of her kindness just makes her look worse. She's just a professional liar and needs a kick in the box, as well as therapy and some meds. She sounds like someone else is writing her thoughts, probably some 'edgy' trollfic writer who thinks that subverting kind characters is so awesome, post-modern and hipsterish all the folks that made fun of him will make him their god-king.
But I'm just a Socialist Prole with OCD, so dismiss my opinions.
I'm not sure what to make of this. I kind of both do and do not like the juxtaposition of "show Twilight" with "crazy Twilight". On the other hoof, I know that some people actually really do have a voice in their heads telling them to do things (actually, I've heard quite a lot of people have an actual voice, but that for the majority the voice is benign) so this isn't exactly impossible to imagine, but... at the same time, I don't get it and I'm not sure I can buy it. It's an interesting thing to read, but yes, incredibly OoC. That's what both interests and repels me.
2598969
Good. I'm glad at least someone had this reaction. :)
Wow. That was pretty intense. The whole time I thought that Twilight was going to snap and... well, it's best I not say what Twilight would do.
Anyways, great story and you have an amazing way of showing how the main character feels about a situation. Don't lose that talent. 
The first story I read on this site was this one and I couldn't be happier! Great job, it was awesome!
2601599
Whoa, welcome to the neighborhood. :O Hope you find something better, because this is definitely not the best fimfiction has to offer!
Thoroughly enjoyed it. Get dunked.
Maybe I'm some kind of sadist, or I'm just inclined to violence, but I do think things like this very often, either toward myself or others. I enjoyed following her train of thought into dark and depraved possibilities. It made me cringe, sure, but I was grinning the entire time. Your logic does apply, though. We, or at least I, refrain from acting out these sick little thoughts because I know that it's wrong, and that I would eventually get caught.
So, yes, I really liked this.
My prevailing thought is curiosity as to how often Twilight starts thinking like this. Am I supposed to believe that this is a regular occurrence with her, a weekly or even daily thing, or did she just have a really shitty day that gave her bad thoughts that she was thankfully able to resist? It would help me decide just how much in character Twilight is here, because as it stands she's on the line and it seems like it could go either way with her.
Actually, I just reread it and Twilight said that it's a once in a while thing. Thanks for clarifying that. It made the story work for me.
I have had thoughts like these before, but I think I dilute them by making up characters to do awful things instead of imagining myself doing them. I totally believe that Twilight would imagine these things once in a while, so I think that I can recommend this fic and assume other readers will understand this.
2603360
See, this is the one thing I don't understand about people who act on this stuff.
"The voices told me to" is not a good excuse. You never thought, even once, that maybe just maybe listening to voices in your head is not a good idea? No one ever says "I told the voices to fuck off", but then again doing so involves not showing up in the evening news. It just speaks to greater mental stresses than hearing voices.
2604011
The voices told me to write pony fanfiction.
But yeah, I have voices that tell me to do naughty things, you have voices that tell you to do naughty things, and we both tell the voices to eat a dick. Maybe some people just lack the mental control to turn the voices off? Or maybe they want to do what the voices tell them in the first place.
2605147
That's possible too. :O It's like when you want to do something but know you shouldn't so you tell your friends and let them decide for you. Except in this case you're crazy and your friends don't exist.
I would not mind you turning this into a multi-chapter story. It's decent now, but it could get better with time.
2621322
NOPE
2621366 Damn...
2621366
By nope you mean Hell yeah
.
.
.
right
2624473
This is a story about Twilight Sparkle not killing her friends.
THE END
I will not be forced into another DTWH scenario, thanks.
2626098
you mean that "chapter" was about twilight not killing her friends
2626143
It's a full story, kthx.
2626152
shhhh just go with it
Nice, dark and twisted. Greenthumbed.
2644184
You totally got it. :)
Did I like it? No. But, I'd have to say that it's because I find the concept so utterly mundane. Maybe I'm the serial-killer-in-waiting here.
Who knows?
2652175
Got my eye on you. <.<
I spent the whole story waiting for something to happen, but I'm kind of glad that it went the way it did. I'm still not quite sure if I love or hate this, but it certainly is an interesting portrayal of Twilight.
2682301
Glad you weren't disappointed. :) That anticipation was the whole point.
The balance of dark with Twilight's believable daily activities is very nicely done. It's kinda like Garnot's Dear Diary in concept, but scaled back wayyy far - a mere touch of it makes it all the more solid, interestingly. And the thing is how plausible these thoughts are from Twilight were she removed from her FiM-ness... Thanks for the solid read, PP =)
3227474
Thanks for reading my junk. :D
Agreed on the comments; it's interesting to see this sort of thing in her mind. And I'll admit, there's a huge lure in dark Twilight fics. Especially the thoughts of just how strong she REALLY is, without the ascension. (Personal opinion? She could probably put a serious dent in Luna or Celestia.) And, essentially, what she could get away with. And ... yes, it's also good to see that she has a healthy way of dealing with those voices. Get grounded back in reality, let herself get anchored, and NOT act on the fact that she could probably crush Ponyville without expending too much effort.
Thought-provoking, especially when the reader (myself) has a voice quite like this. I mean, most people think about what would happen if they ignored all rules and moral codes, but few think about how frequently the perfect opportunity presents itself for this kind of mindful, sadistic, beautiful violence, accompanied by such gorgeous, bountiful pain. The odd thing is, it's so simple it could be done everyday and no one would ever notice. All you would have to do is cover the windows of the basement and gag them, covering the gag with tape, rope, and superglue. Then, you could perform all kinds of torturous acts on them. The one that frequents my mind most often is peeling the epidermis and a small layer of the dermis off of the entire body, then rolling them in salt. I can almost imagine their throat-rattling howls of agony...
I need help.
I'm gonna go watch ponies now, to try and clean my thoughts.
2596315
I think my 'voice' is nuts. If it had to name it, I'd call it 'Whimsy'. On the day I got my Xbox360's disk drive replaced, I was letting my bro drive because I was a bit intoxicated. 'Whimsy' told me to throw my newly-repaired Xbox out of the car's window.
Enope!
Yeesh. Kinda scary to think about. It is true that most people have that really small, super dark voice in their head. But as you said, we all have the power to hold it back and be the better of ourselves.
Plus it was kinda creepy to read Twilight thinking these things. But the end scene was the best.
Cool one shot!
An interesting story, and plausible in its own way. Twilight having a dark, sadistic streak of thought that comes and goes, and which she never acts on, seems to... fit her, somehow.
Nicely written.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
Is it odd I found portions of this slightly funny?