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  • E Racing Starlight

    Princess: 1. Physics: O.
    1,509 words · 3,065 views  ·  397  ·  4
  • T Dark Side of the Moon

    This is Moonstuck on crystal meth. THIS IS MOONSTUCK. ON CRYSTAL METH.
    42,226 words · 6,358 views  ·  659  ·  9
  • T Pippin' Ain't Easy

    Pipsqueak: the newest kingpin to one of Equestria's most notorious crime families. What'chu know 'bout inheritances, hater?
    8,651 words · 2,343 views  ·  434  ·  6
  • T Dead or Alive

    Boba Fett attempts the greatest hunt of his career.
    41,003 words · 4,930 views  ·  762  ·  17 · gore
  • E Rocketmare

    One pony. One trip. One way. No regrets.
    1,877 words · 1,007 views  ·  200  ·  3
  • E Daring Do and the Honor Among Thieves

    Daring Do is after her greatest score yet. Somepony else has set their sights on stopping her.
    3,422 words · 735 views  ·  115  ·  1
  • E The Other Side

    Upon the verge of the next life, Pipsqueak remembers.
    5,382 words · 1,299 views  ·  237  ·  6
  • T Pest Control

    What was Luna really up to during the Royal Wedding? Pest control, that's what.
    4,957 words · 6,238 views  ·  776  ·  37 · gore

Blog Posts83

  • Monday
    here's a thing

    5 comments · 176 views
  • 6d, 22h
    my shipping

    28 comments · 252 views
  • 1w, 2d
    Storytime With Rust, Vol. III

    29 comments · 238 views
  • 8w, 2d
    happy birthday mister rust

    26 comments · 309 views
  • 10w, 3d
    the corvette man

    Greetings, all!  I'm one-and-a-half months from graduating, and will be able to write more for all my stories once I do!

    In the meantime, I'd like to share something with you all about my life.  It isn't a happy story, but it isn't sad, either.

    It is simply a story about life.

    Prior to joining the Navy, I was a volunteer firefighter.  I served for about a year before I left home to make my way in the world.  I met a lot of great people during my time on the force, and had tons of crazy experiences -- some of them good, some of the bad, but I like to think all of them were needed.  For a small town volunteer service, you'd think it wouldn't be that exciting.  You're right, it wasn't.  Most of our incidents were (thankfully) routine... but every once and a while, along comes The Big One.

    Let me tell you about the corvette man and how he died.

    I was eighteen at the time.  It was the end of summer, the last breath of golden warmth before the New England frost hit.  Senior year was starting up, but I wasn't really bothered by the academics, and generally ignored school, much to the chagrin of my mother.  My days were spent down at the local boathouse rowing for the crew team, cruising the streets with my friends late at night on some weed-fueled fast food binge, or simply kicking back in my hammock with a good book.  It was heaven; I was tan, fit, and content with my place in the world.  But it was also boring.

    Guess that's why I felt some relief the day the pager alarm sounded around seven at night.  Despite knowing I was missing dinner, I raced into the house, threw on a pair of flip-flops, kissed my mother goodbye, raced back outside, and took off in the family station wagon, tire screeching around the corner as blue lights flashed across the roof.  I knew the way to the station well, by now.  It took me exactly three minutes and fifteen seconds (I often timed myself) to come to a halt in the parking lot, hastily stumbling out the door and opening up the bay with my fob key.

    Our station had two engines; Engine 3, a heavy brush truck meant for offroading it through farming fields, and Engine 7; the baby of the fleet, a shiny new all-purpose firetruck.  A jack of all trades, master of none.  I loved that thing like a child.  A Probationary Officer at the time, my job was to ride in the back, five-seat, and if we were responding to a real fire, wield the irons (axe and halligan) as we rolled up to a scene.  I would be in charge of opening the door with the irons if it were locked, and using them to patrol the outside of the building.

    There was only one other person in the bay.  His name was John, and he was three months from retiring.  He was 69.  He was so short, the guys had to make him a special stool to climb into Engine 7, which he drove.  It was Tuesday, which meant the rest of the department was on the other side of town, at a training op.

    He took one look at me fumbling to hop into my gear, and said, "Hop in the front, it's just us tonight."

    I'd never ridden up front before, in shotgun.  That was the Officer's seat.  He controlled the lights and horns and other functions of the engine, and also commanded operations from the radio there.  Still, I climbed aboard just as the truck rumbled to life.  "Engine seven, dispatch.  Responding with two," I said into the radio.  First time I'd ever used that, too.

    John laughed at me as we pulled out, saying we'd need the sirens on.  I obliged, flipping the switch and ripping the horn cord with gusto.  The banshee scream of a fire engine on response echoed across my sleepy town with all the power of a realized childhood dream.

    The details came fast over the radio.  John swung the truck into a turn and we headed off to the scene.  It was a reported car wreck, at an intersection in the east end of town, by the soccer field in the woods.  It sounded bad.  Ambulances were already en route.

    An engine from the next town over beat us there, having been driving back from a meeting somewhere and overhearing the call.  It wasn't uncommon, different fire departments helping out others.  I doubted I would have been able to do much good, looking at the scene as we rolled past.

    Several firemen were hunched over the ruins of a corvette, ripping out the door with some Jaws of Life.  Something red and pale was inside, unmoving.  Ways away, a soccer-mom minivan hunched over in the street, front end crumpled.  It looked like the corvette had tried to cut out of an intersection without checking, and gotten t-boned by the van at full speed.

    John's face was grim.  "Gonna need Lifestar."

    "Why?"

    "Fiberglass body," was all he said.

    We parked the engine about a hundred yards down the road, in the dirt parking lot of the soccer field.  We got out and he started setting up cones, I diverted traffic.  By now, dark had fallen, but the area was awash with pulses of hot blue and red.  The Captain eventually showed up, barking orders through his megaphone as more teams arrived.

    They got the driver out after some time.  I could hear the tearing of metal all the way down the road.  Someone brought out a stretcher.  John came up to me in the street, telling me to go back the the truck and turn on all the scene lights.  "For the helicopter," he explained.

    I did as he told, and the dirt lot was soon illuminated by lights powerful enough for a stadium.  Almost immediately after I'd done so, a heavy whud-whud-whudding split the air.  A chopper descended out of the darkness, like it had been there all along and had only recently decided to drop down and show itself.  How a helicopter snuck up on me like that, I'll never know, but I was too busy trying to keep my helmet down to wonder.

    Why it landed in the dirt and gravel parking lot and not the soccer field is something I will also never know.

    The chopper kicked up a wicked storm of dust and pebbles.  From behind my visor, I could hear the sound of them pinging off myself and the truck I crouched at.  I'd never seen one this close before, much less one landing five car-lengths away like something out of the desert wars.  

    They brought the stretcher in as soon as the blades stopped rotating.  I remember perching on the pump console to get a better look at the victim.  I remember thinking to myself how a person should probably not look like ground beef.  I remember John patting me on the shoulder and nudging me back into the truck as the chopper took off.  I remember getting out at the station, and suddenly realizing I'd left the windows open when Lifestar landed.

    I spent an hour cleaning out the interior of Engine 7 with a cloth.  Thinking, mostly.  About corvettes and life and men made out of meat.

    We later found out he died.  Most of his right side had been decimated by the collision.  Shattered bones, pulverized organs... it wasn't a painless death, either.

    John took me aside before I left for home and told me I'd done a good job that night.  It meant a lot, coming from him, but I didn't feel like I'd done anything worth commending.  "It's never easy seeing people like that poor man," he said.  "But that's why we're here; to help them."  After a handshake and another pat on the shoulder, I drove home.  This time, far under the speed limit.

    Things were calm after that.  I entered the house, tossed my stuff on the fireplace, and sat down at the table as my family just finished up dinner.  Burgers tonight.  I looked down at my plate, at the untouched meal, and was reminded of the man.

    My mother asked me about the call, told me I seemed really out of it.  "Are you alright?"

    I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "Yes."  I took only one bite out of the burger, before wrapping it up for tomorrow, leaving the table as everyone else did.  My stepfather looked worried (he could always read me) but I assured him it was a fantastic meal and I was simply tired from the call.

    That night, I lay awake to the sound of crickets, red and blue dancing on the underside of my eyelids.

    23 comments · 283 views
  • ...
 2,963
 23,912

I always wanted to go to Equestria.  When I got the chance, I took the deal without reading the fine print.  To my surprise, I didn't arrive there as a pony, or even as a human.  It seems I get to view this world from a different perspective than what I've imagined.

My name is Echo.  I am a Diamond Dog.


-Edited by the one, the only, Nathan Traveler!

-(Cover by Jovial_Shake of fimfiction.net)

-Now featured on Equestriadaily.com!

First Published
13th Feb 2012
Last Modified
4th Aug 2012

Oooo...Bummer.

You had a good run though, and hey!

Saved the damsel in distress, major afterlife brownie points there.

>>217059

It's not over until the fat lady sings, mate.

A story about a diamond dog.  AWWWWWW YEAAAAAHHHHHH.

>>217080

I know, right?  I can't recall ever seeing one, so I decided to just make it.  This might be the first of it's kind, I think.  If not, tell me who wrote the first one so I can kill them and take the credit.  :pinkiecrazy:

Woo! Another good story where the main character isn't turned into pony! :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Finally a story that brakes from the mold of happens I congratulate you good sir.:trixieshiftright:

>>217090  Well I know of stories with diamond dogs as main characters, but never a human turned diamond dog.  I read a human turned dragon before.  Best wishes man, happy writing!

o shit, no wonder this story is so kick ass its by sir buck apple himself.

In all honesty, you have the best ideas. This is gonna be fricken amazing.

>>217132

I attribute this to my general insanity, as well as a recent concussion addling me even further.

liking this idea, tracking to see how he recovers from a case of slashed neck :rainbowlaugh:

Yeah finally a story that involves the person being a diamond dog. Yesh.

'Why couldn't you have just thrown me a rapist or something?' Is it bad if this part made me chuckle? I also lol'd at the being literally booted out of the universe thing...

Lol throwing the fluffy kitten into the river...

>>217342

He had it coming, the adorable bastard was too powerful to let live another day.

This is a nice and refreshing thing from human goes to equestria and gets turned into an local creature, love the whole diamond dog thing. Plus Balto<3:yay::heart:

Sir Buck Apple "Come with me if you want to laugh!" Seriously this story is bucking helarious!:rainbowlaugh: The Discorded boot to the head. The pig gargling mollasses. The part where you immatated different deep voiced movie icons.(Terminator was the best.)  The "how did you know that ?internet" part. I could go on but that would be a little redundant. The action near the end of the 3rd chapter was good to but so far I'm hear for the laughs. Also great Idea to make a fic where the main character is Diamond Dog. Very original.

I would have never thought of it- human turned Diamond Dog. Thinking about it though Diamond Dogs in their own right can be Bad-A's if they wanted to be, or if they hand the cognitive ability to be.

Great work, definitely tracking!

"Into the river he goes." was THE FUNNIEST LINE IN ALL OF HISTORY!

(To me, at least.)






FROST!

Lol, Echo, you so silly... looking forward to seeing what comes next :rainbowlaugh:

Changed my account name, because this is my original OC.

my only regret is that i cannot rate this higher than five stars, but anyways a new chapter of Far From the Tree and now this brand new epicness. are you trying to overwelm us with awesomness? because it just might work :pinkiehappy:

Oh noes!

I hope echo gets to someday talk again but at least he's being a champ about it now :fluttercry:

I remember having some oral surgery before where I couldn't talk for a weak and that was just plain maddening, I feel his pain...

Also made it impossible to drink alcohol....

let me guess the old guy is discord right:rainbowhuh:

Wait, its possible to change account names?  How? >>218247

>>218401

Just hit the "EDIT ACCOUNT" tab, in-between the tracking and dashboard buttons.  From there, just type in your new user name, and re-use your password or type a new one.

I really like this story and i want more:flutterrage:

>>218528

I am a generous author.  Ask and ye shall recieve...  Just give me a day or two, man, I pumped this out in ONE DAY, illustration included!  

Alrighty! Awesome chapter and plenty of hilarity to be found.:yay:

First:

Echo, I agree with you 100% that diner food is some of the greatest stuff cooked on this little mudball, BUT! It's even better when you actually EAT it.:facehoof:

Second:

I can't believe a character such as yourself missed such a perfect opportunity!:raritydespair:

When Daring asked you what "your mother" fed you, you should have pointed at her while rubbing your belly.

I am so disappointed in you right now.:ajsleepy:

Third:

Might wanna keep an eye on Dr.MacGuyver's handywork, with all the shit (figurative and possibly literal) that shoes get into, an infection could become a problem. Just a little heads-up

Fourth:

Insanity does bestow such nice jackets doesn't it?

I even got mine monogrammed!:raritystarry:

And finally number Banana!

Digging in the dirt, wagging your tail... Dude, better keep a close eye on those canine behaviors. Daring probably wouldn't like it if you start humping her leg.:trollestia:

god i wish i was as good at writing as you are...mabey then my stories would get more than a few hundred views. :pinkiesick:

>>218758

I'm now the undisputed master of doggystyle.

HE KICKED ME IN THE FACE!

>>218785

Mate, it's not about how well you write, it's about the ideas you write about.  The better and more original the idea, the more attention it receives.  Just look at this story, for example!  Hasn't been out for twelve hours and it's got over 600 views!  And it HASN'T been featured, either.  Good idea gets good publicity.  

Ya but grammer and how you add detail to the story is also a major factor in writing. The first chapter in my first story was horrible when it came to grammer, because of that my ratings were low which caused alot of people to not want to read it. I have gotten much better but my work still doesnt even compare to yours. :applejackunsure:

I would use a proofreader but its nearly imposible to find one that doesnt expect to be payed for it. I can understand that, and i wouldnt mind paying if i wasnt already having to pay for college gas and all the other necestities of life.

>>218758 Hey maybe he will hump her leg.....:trollestia:  On another note, Discord should really try out as the kicker for a football team who knows how far he can kick the ball if he can punt echo from his home dimension to Equestria...

>>218830

You might want to rescind that last bit about not being featured.

>>220122

Mate, you've made my day tenfold.

TENFOLD, I SAY!

D'arvit discord why u keep doing that?

[img]http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&rlz=1I7TSNJ_en&biw=1024&bih=731&tbm=isch&tbnid=SLjftAgPAYifiM:&imgrefurl=http://artemisfowl.wikia.com/wiki/Julius_Root&docid=gwB6_67iqG3-cM&imgurl=http://images.wikia.com/artemisfowl/images/c/c4/Root.JPG&w=382&h=583&ei=NJo6T_GQKsvmggeZ4pGZCw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=2&sig=111170985924045189539&page=1&tbnh=168&tbnw=110&start=0&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0&tx=29&ty=54[/img]

Beetroot is best fairy.

>>217067My step mom: aaaauuuuueeee.. for my love has all but gone... and left me here alonnnneee....

Me:Good enough?

"On my first day in Equestria, I had my throat torn out."

THE END :derpytongue2:

That Worgen pic is my screen saver :rainbowlaugh:

Just a question. Is the old man who sent him to Equestria Discord?

The story is surprisingly great. Only thing which bugs me is that incredibly silly worgen pic. Makes me almost want to draw a replacement. Hmm.

>>220292

There are surprisingly few pictures of diamond dogs, and my own artistic talent is mediocre at best.  I'd gladly take anything sent to me.

This actually addressed almost all the complains I have with normal HiE's! :pinkiegasp:

People seem to use the same cliches over and over again. But to be fair, it's kinda hard if everyone had to be original :rainbowwild:

Like where this is going, will keep reading :pinkiehappy:

-Glassed

i rub hamburgers specifically chili burgers over my nipples on a regular basis.

This has got the be the most interesting HiE I've read in a long time :pinkiehappy:

While I'd ask if he got to Ponyville at some point, I gotta admit that I have no clue... Both Lyra, Vionna, Derpy and Pipsqueak is in the tags, but not a single one of the mane 6 :rainbowhuh:

This is good though, I love it :pinkiehappy:

Tracking :twilightsmile:

-Glassed

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