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A MESSAGE FROM ECHO
Dear Reader,
On my first day in Equestria, I had my throat torn out.
I know, huh? Not what you'd expect from a cartoon world of happy, carefree ponies who learn about the magic of friendship. Nope. I get baptized into my new life with a fight to the death. What a way to roll out the welcome wagon.
Anyway, I suppose I should introduce myself before I begin recounting my tale. I am a diamond dog, in case you haven't noticed. I used to have a human name, just like you, but...I'm not that person anymore, so we can forget about it. You can call me Echo, if you want to call me anything besides "doggy," "boy," or "fleabag." And no, I will not fetch the god-damn stick for you. Get it yourself.
I'm sure you've read those stories about other humans who somehow stumble their way into Equestria. I'd like to tell you right now that absolutely ninety-two point eight percent of them are completely wrong. Let me guess, they followed the standard "wake up in the Everfree" shtick? Maybe they're still human, or they just wake up as a cute, cartoon horse with a tattoo on their ass. Or even, after some awkward shenanigans around Ponyville, they are turned into a pony so that they can spend the rest of their four-legged lives with their beloved, undoubtedly a member of the Elements of Harmony?
Predictable.
And, unrealistic.
The reality is, the few humans who do end up in Equestria rarely have it so easy. Usually, they end up like me. I don't mean as a diamond dog, either. More often than not, they end up dead or bleeding out on the side of the road. You see, Equestria isn't really the happy-go-lucky, peaceful realm of rainbows and puppy dogs. Well, admittedly, it looks that way, but that's besides the point. Equestria is just as dangerous, if not more so, as Earth. All those big bad monsters that run around willy-nilly cause a lot more havoc than you'd think. And Discord? Oh, man, that guy has got to be the biggest dick in history! (Counting Earth and Equestrian, of course.) The ponies you know so well? The only really difference between them and us is that they learn their lesson if you drive it into their skulls hard enough.
They can be just as prejudiced, just as spiteful, just as cruel as the average human. Greed, violence, and even racism can be seen in some of the more detestable examples of equine life.
Thankfully, a significant number of them aren't like that. At least, they aren't that way to me anymore. Not after I've carved out a place for myself, earned their respect and trust, yadda yadda yadda, that sort of thing.
Bottom line is, Equestria is eerily familiar to Earth. And yet...different. Mercifully different.
My first day there, I found this out the hard way. Why do you think I'm writing this with a claw dipped in ink? I haven't been able to use my throat for anything besides howling, whining, growling and eating for decades now.
So sit back, relax, and try not to get the facts mixed up with the truth.
My name is Echo. I am a diamond dog.
And this is my story.
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I have not yet read the rest of this story, (only this prologue) but I have to say - this is not how you should start a story. One, its insulting to other writers who may be making a HIE story, and two, its completely jarring for the character of the story to be directly communicating to the readers. This should be an author's foreward or note - not the prologue of the character talking this way. It almost sounds like a summary you would find in the back of book of some sorts, but its not even that since usually a passive narrator would be doing that, not the main character. Lastly, you're giving away good details of the story in such a concise manner without detail. This whole part sounds like a story description, yet its the prologue. If you want to pull people into reading this story, that is what the description is for. The prologue should be a initial setup that leads into the events of the beginning of a story. I can admit that this prologue does that to a certain extent, but for all the reasons I already laid out above, it still leaves a bad impression on me.
I'll read on since I like the idea of the plot.
Found your story, thought it looked interesting, read the prologue. I was right! it is interesting! Thought about it for a second, read the beginnings of my story... every. single. one. of those unoriginal ideas you stated are in it. Time to start brain storming again...
First paragraph, awesome, awesome, awesome.
Image: http://www.mediashow.ro/show/252753-6/win-free-internet.jpg
Image: http://images.wikia.com/theamazingworldofgumball/images/8/85/Dis_gonna_b_gud.gifAlso, i agree completley with Rainbow_Dastrution.
Brilliant work, Can't wait to read the rest!
On my first day in Equestria, I had my throat torn out.
This is my exact reaction.
Image: https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5529755392/h128D8609/
What can I say... people are dicks.
I saw this when it got featured, and ignored it. I saw this mentioned on several different websites, and I ignored it. Then I started reading one of the other fics set in this universe. It mentioned Griffin the Griffin. THAT fic mentioned this one. Time to read the root of the Yggdrasil that is the Chess Game Of The Gods.
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