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  • 34w, 1d
    Finally, an update.

    It took two weeks longer than average, but there’s a new update for Timekeeper up for your reading pleasure. I feel like I should offer some explanation for the delay, mainly a return to the tender mercies of University level education, and I’ve discovered the joys of Dungeons and Dragons.

    You can probably guess who’s playing the Dungeon Master, and I’m positively enjoying it.

    One funny story you might enjoy was how my players managed to stop a pirate ship (full of pirates) from boarding their own small merchant vessel. If they’d been boarded, they wouldn’t have had much of a chance. They strapped one of the player characters, a pixie, to a ten foot pole and stuck him under water. Now pixies can speak to animals, so the pixie figured that would include fish.

    Interestingly, the pixie spotted a whale.

    So the player did an impression of Dory from Finding Nemo and attempted to speak whale. A lucky dice roll later, they recruited the whale, informing it that the pirate ship was a whaling vessel.

    The whale joined the battle, ramming the pirate ship from underneath while the players pelted the pirates with ballista bolts.

    Then the whale rolled a 20 on a twenty sided die. That’s a critical hit. A second dice for the amount of damage was rolled, 10/10. Very long odds, something amazing had to happen.

    The whale leapt out of the water over the stern of the ship. Then with the players speechless, I informed them that the whale let out a low moan as it fell down on the deck, crushed the pirate captain, brought down the rear mast, and basically tore the back of the ship off.

    As the pirate ship sank and the players stood gaping at the wreckage, I passed a note to the wizard and she said, “Oh, it’s a sperm whale.”

    I didn’t mention it was completely white.

    Moments like that make D&D special. But returning to ponies, I’m happy to say that I'm about to start a story arc that I’ve been planning for the better part of a year. I’ll tease you with this: “The Black Knight always triumphs.”

    5 comments · 90 views
  • 42w, 6d
    The Reign of Princess Dinky the Cute

    So, it's the end of the Winningverse's AU month and I haven't posted anything...

    Well, I will. The problem with having an entire month to work with, and everyone having the same, is that suddenly everyone has their story finished at the last possible moment. So we came to an agreement. Chengar's got a new AU fic out of Lunar Rebellion, Pheonix Empress, and it's claimed it's spot in the feature box, and I get a little extra time for some final polishing. So you should be seeing it soon.

    What is it? It's  a fun adventure and in the same vein as Los Pegasus, featuring Octavia and Vinyl Scratch in their struggle against their oppressor, Princess Dinky. The new princess has used her incredible cuteness to take over Equestria, ascending to alicorn-hood and recieving a hefty boost to her ability to make ponies do what she wants them to do.

    i hope you'll all enjoy it.

    3 comments · 99 views
  • 48w, 2d
    Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas everyone.

    I hope the season brings you all good cheer and happy memories.

    A Quick update from me on the status of Timekeeper: Chapter 6 is up for final approvals and, pending the big rubber stamp, it'll be out very soon. A few weeks back I got the idea of making this a 'Christmas Special', a completly unique idea not filtched from anywhere related to Time Turner.

    Special means long. In fact It's the longest chapter yet, and covers what some commenters have taken to calling: 'The Time War'. It also features Cuteness, Drama, Spike, and a new pony. Of course since those that hold the privy seal for approving said chapter are only sparsely during the holiday period, there may be a delay. Disapointing, yes, but it's a quality thing, and since I've spent far too long writing this one, it can wait for a little bit longer.

    The Winningverse AU month: I'll probably put out a short story for this based on an idea a friend gave me:

    Lord Solaris Pentecost: How about an AU ruled by Dinky the Magnificent? Who has enslaved the world with her adorableness.

    And on a non-winningverse note: (If you're only here because of that, you can start ignoring me).

    I've gotten a suprising number of requests to revist my original series, with the Discordian Detective version of Time Turner. Now a big reason for my reluctance on that front is the ever contentious character, Lucky Catch. Readers either hate her or love her. Unsuprising since she evolved out of a one scene joke that I've been meaning to replace, and I really only continued her role because she was already there. The next TTDDA story, Corruption of the Clouds, will probably shelve the Lucky Catch plotline.

    When I'll start writing, I'm not sure. But I'll start looking for time and inspiration. Maybe I'll get a kitten for that.

    Finally, a newer Idea for your consideration. How many of you have seen Blackadder?

    While the Discordian Detective series took inspiration from Dirk Gently, this one does the same with Blackadder. Staring the overworked, underapreciated servants of Prince Blueblood the 52nd who have to deal with Canterlot Politics, the Elite, Celestia's hoof in everything, and the whims of their master while somehow trying to make things better for themselves.

    Think stories along the lines of : Whom the Princesses Would Destroy... and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

    2 comments · 82 views
  • 57w, 1d
    New Excuses

    As some of you have probably noticed, I sent Timekeeper chapter 4 into the wild blue yonder. Another 10k+ chapter, and on a faster turnaround than the last. You know, there used to be a time where I thought 3-4k was an ideal length; then it was 5k, and now I’m doing the average yearly output of a high school student in a single chapter.

    This puts Timekeeper at 45,472 words (by FIMfic count) which makes it the 5th longest story in the winningverse, edging out Comma-Kazie’s  What’s in a Name at 45,442. Not bad for the red-headed step child of the universe, right? (I still haven’t earned an entry in the damn timeline yet.)

    Well, moving on.

    Part of the reason for this fast arrival is me attempting to get this done before I get hit by my end of year assignment/exam dash. Procrastination is a terrible thing, but it makes me work that much better.

    This does mean the next one will be slower, but there’s good news on that front. The next chapter was mostly written months ago in collaboration with Symphony’s author Jake the Ginger. In fact, if you want to get a head start, look up Symphony (chapters 6 and 7) and you can get Lyra’s rather limited account.

    If you read it you might pick up my style, I was directing Turner and the other colts while Jake took the mares. You may also pick up on some meddling by Turner.

    In addition to the Winningverse stuff, I’ll also be looking to write something independent of it. I’ll probably do something not related to Time Turner for once, It’s important for an author to get out and see other characters. Plus, since my writing has improved since the Discordian Detective days, I’ll take a shot at getting something onto EQD properly. Winning in Los Pegasus snuck on there, but it isn’t the same as going through the front door.

    So, that’s my excuses.

    1 comments · 127 views
  • 62w, 11h
    Still alive, Sane, and Timekeeper chapter 3 is coming soon

    It's been a bit a while, and quite delayed.

    I could toss you the various excuses for the month-and-a-bit between updates, but since you've probably never noticed and simply got on with your lives, I wont bother you with it.

    So the big news, Timekeeper 3 has been drafted and reviewed. Barring some minor changes you'll see it soon. It's longer than my normal updates and involved some rewriting, part of the reasons for the delay. And for those among my followers who aren't fans of the Winningverse, I haven't forgotten you.

    As a bonus for readers here's a deleted scene from TK Ch3.

    “Okay, Carrot. The Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar.” I turned to look at her. “It was tense.”

    Carrot blinked and then snorted as she started to giggle. “That’s terrible.”

    Thunderlane’s head flicked around. “Wait, what’s so funny?” I just smiled innocently. “Come on,” Lane groaned, “Tell me.” He hates feeling left out.

    Carrot stopped giggling, caught her breath, and said, “He just told me a corny joke.”

    I smiled. “It had a kernel of humour.” There was a crash as pans fell over in the kitchen.

    The two of us laughed lightly and Lane said, “I don’t get it,” which only made us laugh more.

    3 comments · 95 views
  • ...

Time Turner has a plan. Go to Los Pegasus, enter a poker tournament and win money. It’s a good plan if you intend to cheat your way to victory. But this tournament also has other ponies willing to cheat as well, and they’re not going to give up that prize easily.

Then there’s another wrinkle in the grand plan. Cloud Kicker is also on her way to Los Pegasus in search of fun, and she’s found somepony interesting to follow. Somepony she still hasn’t crossed off her 'To Bang' list.

Despite his objections, Time Turner will need her help; because Los Pegasus isn't an earth pony friendly city. The seats can’t be sat on, the storm cloud oven wants to electrocute him, and it’s a long way down if you decide to step outside.

Set in Chengar Qordath's Winningverse as part of The Cloud Kicker Fan Club and Winningverse Group's anniversary month.

First Published
10th May 2013
Last Modified
10th May 2013

Dude.  Lawl!  :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by 621Chopsuey deleted at 5:12am on the 24th of May, 2013

Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant.

Bloody fantastic :pinkiecrazy:

*Shakes head and claps slowly* That was beautiful.

Making fun of Gilda — it was Gilda, right? — was priceless.

The descrip reminds me of a chapter of Bros in Equestria.

I'll check it out at some point.

Great job.  I was smiling throughout the whole story:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

The very first paragraphs have grammatical errors that disrupt the flow of this thing. Hand this off to a proofreader, maybe, or give it a thorough go-over.

Hmm, looks like Cloud Kicker's got a formidable opponent.  This should be fun.


That was Gilda. Time Turner doesn't know or care who she is, but Cloud Kicker does.

Ever since she upset Fluttershy, Gilda's been marked for doom.

I was woken up by a breeze blowing across my face. I opened my eyes and found myself staring up the nose of a mare whose name I couldn’t remember.

What happened last night? I yawned and looked around. There were another four pegasi mares on the bed with me.

When a chapter starts like that, you know it's gonna be awesome.


Nice screenshot. CK is definitely planning some unpleasantness for Gilda.

Very nice story, by the by.

Um. What.

Okay, I have to read this after I read the Lyra story. *scribble scribble*

When will this be mature?


I don't write clop. But I will insinuate situations that happen behind the scenes. Best not to think about what five mares and one stallion will get upto in a princess sized cloud bed.


Cloud Kicker banged them all, while Time Turner was left wondering when he would get a turn.

“Reset,” I said and the world froze. A grin crossed my face as time reversed and brought the unicorn thief back toward me. This is my special talent; it allows me to turn time backwards by up to forty two seconds.

Er... no. This is not something earth ponies do. The show implies that going back a single week is the hardest thing the most powerful ACTUAL SPELLCASTER in the show ever did.

I could've accepted that he has some kind of crazy gadget that lets him do this, but just being born able to do that? Shatters my suspension of disbelief.


Counter assertion: Explain Pinkie Pie.

Anyway, Turner can only time turn by forty two seconds, and then it becomes unusable for a good two minutes or so. This is explained more deeply elsewhere, but I'll also mention Turner's mark is a paradox and he is deficient in several other normal earth pony skills.


He isn't any good at bucking which is why he works with time pieces right?


The only time he goes near a farm is during winter wrap up and he'd have to rebuck a tree several times to get the same result Applejack can get in a single kick.

I liked before reading.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

"This deal is  getting worse all the time"

Love your knowledge on star wars :D

That was hilarious :rainbowlaugh: i love all of the innuendos

>>2560228 What so hard to believe in a world of magical talking ponies? Beside ponies are better than other in function of their talents Twilight talent is magic, but Docor is time itself so it wouldn't be so hard to believe that he could have this power. Pinkie Pie did much more than just go back a few seconds in time and she's also a Earth pony

Oh wow, I'm really liking the characterization. :pinkiehappy:

“That was for Eepysqueak.”
  Looks like Gilda picked the wrong week to go gambling. (Wait for it...)

>>2559198 That look she's getting from Cloudy pretty much says it, too.

“Nopony ever wants to upset the apple cart.”
Oh, you... :facehoof:

He can turn back time? That's not a special talent, that's flat out sorcery. How?

"Boop." :rainbowlaugh:  Perfect ending joke.

>>2559198 It's interesting how the animation just happens to vaguely support certain head canon notions.

Well, that was delightfully ludicrous :D

I saw one reference... ONE!


The Doctor can go back in time and change flux time points. Although not as strong, this pony, that is based on the doctor, can also go back in time and change the future.

The Doctor is from Doctor Who. Hence the "Fedora's are cool." Which is a reference from Doctor Who and relates to a quote such as, "Bowties are Cool." or "Fez Hat's are Cool."

The More you Know~

Got a feeling that Card Shark is going to return. On another note, I like your writing style. It has a nice flow and keeps me reading. :twilightsmile:

That ending was just hilarious!:rainbowlaugh: Great story. I really enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:



That felt good. What better than schooling a douche griffon than her ass getting kicked in the name of Fluttershy?

Oh, no one will upset the apple cart. Not at all.

Welp. This ended just as well than the rest of it was. Good job!

It just... Yeah. It had lulz, satisfaction of showing up douches, more lulz, banging, and a great ending. And stuff.

Will read again!

For whoever cares, the smell of Rain hitting dry earth is called Petrichor.

Good story! you should check out my crossover story! :yay::heart:

an excellent addition to the 'verse :twilightsmile:

That was a lot of fun.

Interesting premise, though I must say that the story could have used one more round of editing. I spotted at least a dozen typos / missing words in the first chapter already. Apart from that, I'll see where this goes...


Probably, but I had competing deadlines to meet. Still, it came out well enough and i'm proud of it.

It's interesting that Time Turner seems somewhat tribalist, he doesn't seem to think much of Unicorns or Pegasus, although this could just be looking at things from an Earth Pony perspective.

Hah. Blueblood as a Princess. Nice.

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