• Member Since 26th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

Alchemystudent


Loves to read and write, I decided to try writing fanfiction after a long hiatus thanks to ponies

E
Source

Its amazing what the rain can bring; clensing, cold, or memories. As Pinkie Pie walks through a terrible thunderstorm and has to comfort two little babies, she remembers a song that her mother sang to her once to help remove her fears.

Based on the song, "Stormy night lullaby."

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

I like it! I think it's well paced and the voice is well done. It was cute overall.
There were a few typos, though, even in the description. You seem to have a problem with contractions. Remember, "it is" = "it's", not "its".
If dialogue ends in a comma, (eg. "MOMMY,") you don't have to capitalize the next letter. For example: "I really liked your fic," the commenter said.
Also, it seems a bit more professional if you say "okay" instead of "ok". At least put it in caps like "OK". But that's my opinion, not a grammatical rule.

Other than that, I loved it! B+!

2538270

I always seem to mix those two up. I am kind of glad that it seems the musical element worked though.

2538340

Thank you

Nice job!

T'was cute, but pointers to take note off. You labelled Pinkie as their 'sister', and then sister a couple of times. Inconsistency isn't good... just saying. Also, I'm sure you're away of the random errors like the [I
] one as well as capitalization mistakes in the story.

Overall, it screamed D'AWWWWW, but I think I would have ended it with the parapgraph where the cakes.came back. Just my own opinion per se.

2546640

That...is why I should work with an editor more often, even on one shots.

Thank you by the way, I was going for Dawww

That was very sweet, I loved it :twilightsmile:

And thanks for the song, it was beautiful.

2552856

You are very welcome, I try to keep everyone entertained and warm.

I love that song.
You did this song good, I approve

You ought to try adding this to the Pie Family group.

Login or register to comment