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  • E It's Just a Shot

    It’s flu season and everypony in town has to get a flu shot. Unfortunately for Nurse Redheart, sometimes the most macho ponies are the most afraid of needles. How on Equestria is she going to trick Dash into getting her shot?
    2,076 words · 3,974 views  ·  463  ·  6
  • T Dash of Humanity

    Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it
    95,297 words · 19,373 views  ·  2,794  ·  108 · sex
  • T A Puppet To Her Fame

    My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn't have been farther from the truth.
    29,713 words · 9,293 views  ·  1,107  ·  43 · sex · gore
  • T Shattered Prism

    Each night I’m trapped in the dark, immobilized. I hear whispers as they operate on me: they say I shouldn’t be alive. Twilight refuses to tell me about the operation. Sometimes she can’t look me in the eye. What did they do to me?
    32,078 words · 5,887 views  ·  855  ·  32
  • T Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn

    I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.
    73,323 words · 12,148 views  ·  2,268  ·  101 · sex
  • E Meeting My Hero

    Scootaloo overhears Twilight talking about a time travel machine. She breaks into the library and travels back in time to meet her hero, Rainbow Dash, as a filly. It would have been the perfect plan if Dash had been anything like she expected.
    3,060 words · 5,209 views  ·  615  ·  22
  • T Twilight's Dollhouse II: Lyra's Quest

    Thirty ponies remained trapped in plastic shells as Twilight’s dolls. Lyra left them behind without a second thought. She joins Scootaloo to help rescue them, lest they be trapped for eternity as the last of Twilight’s sanity slips away.
    28,251 words · 2,587 views  ·  350  ·  12
  • E Scootaloo the Fugitive

    Scootaloo grew up at an orphanage ran by Gerda. The old hag clipped Scootaloo's wings last time she tried to escape. Years later, she finally escapes and ends up in Ponyville. Will she stop running from her past long enough to enjoy her new life
    85,720 words · 3,541 views  ·  352  ·  16

Blog Posts678

  • Sunday
    dragon age crashquisition

    So I realized I was gone for a couple days (and racked up more messages and comments to reply to). I've been playing and trying to fix Dragon Age Crashquisition, which proves once again why I should never, ever buy triple-A titles. I've played week-old steam greenlight indie games that crashed less often, and I'm fairly certain they didn't have a multi-million dollar budget, a large publisher, and a history of making (slightly) less shitty games behind them.

    Anyway, it looks like the problem is once again a case of "Oops, we didn't realize we poorly optimized the game!" or as I like to call it "Oops the end of the fiscal year / holidays / quarter / game conference / investors meetings / my son's birthday is next week so fuck the beta testing, release it now!"

    Though from what I have played when I'm not constantly crashing to desktop (despite the crash fixes, blah blah yeah keep blaming the user for it but if we're already running the newest drivers, who is really to blame?) it is a pretty fun game.

    I suppose it's for the best that it kept crashing, now I can get some other things done. Besides, I was getting tired of spamming the same four spells over and over again. So, I suppose homework, writing pony, and alpha sapphire will be getting some love soon.

    Oh, and it crashes on the xbox 1 and ps4 too. When you can't properly code and optimize a game for a console with fixed, precisely known hardware and software installed on it, it's time to close your company down. Preferably with a fuel air bomb. I don't think I'm close enough to EA or Bioware for the blastwave to hurt me, though I might see a pretty light show if I look in the right direction.

    9 comments · 95 views
  • Thursday
    The radar has been gone under

    8 comments · 216 views
  • Thursday
    The Gamingest Brony: Kaidan Plays Dragon Age Inquisition, now with 20% more smart-assery!

    The Gamingest Brony: Kaidan Plays Dragon Age Inquisition, now with 20% more smart-assery!

    Come watch me do stuff. This one time I chugged a liter of vodka on a live stream. So yeah, it could be pretty fucking sweet, or it could be pretty fucking lame, but one thing it most certainly is not is predictable!

    Though my body's reaction to chugging that vodka was incredibly predictable. Dear God that burned like hell.

    8 comments · 117 views
  • 6d, 2h
    Should I Live Stream Dragon Age: Inquisition?

    Would people find that entertaining to watch starting tomorrow? Is their a subset of people who (can't afford DA:I) and (want to watch me play it) and (follows me on Fim Fiction)? I mean that's one hell of a Venn Diagram right there...

    Anyway, I was excited to have this one sneak up on me. I'm a big fan of Bioware/EA (not counting the last 10 minutes of Mass Effect 3) and am stoked to play DA:I.

    Don't worry, I'll still write pony. I'll just do it while I'm at school pretending to be taking notes. What's the worse that can happen? I miss a lecture on how to rig and animate characters in 3ds max or maya? Hah! Those are like.... way easier than slaying Onyxia solo for bragging rights.

    p.s. thanks to all who are following/favoriting/sacrificing virgins to Dash of Humanity 1-3. I'll reply to every single comment.... in a day or two when I have time to sit down and go through them all. But I will!

    p.p.s. Thanks for hanging out in the 3ds max turned photoshop turned streamception turned hearthstone stream earlier. It was good, clean fun, aside from some tasteful pony art in the background. :)

    9 comments · 92 views
  • 6d, 5h
    Stream is over. Look what I drawed

    9 comments · 152 views
  • ...
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  This has the potential to be a featured fanfiction. Props to you, my good sir!

Oh god, those eyes. LOOK! Look with your special eyes.

This chapter was absolutely hilarious! The diaper part left me gasping for air. :pinkiesick: It was kind of creepy though. I can't wait for more :P

I agree with the great and powerful "Prototype ALS-AI1993" !


I must be brain damaged. I'd letter Fluttershy use the stare on me anytime.

Eh, it's fine.

slightly funnier than the first :)

>>2531555 Yeah, if you want to be treated like a foal, maybe. I still have a life to live to be locked up in an asykum because my mind has been converted to a newborn's.

Excellent work! I quite enjoyed the first chapter and the second chapter I'm all like, "...Umm...What."

A good story! Totally publish!:twilightsmile:


Yeah I submitted so I can see if it gets featured, despite some inherent. . . "flaws" to the story.

Namely, I think I made Fluttershy too hot, and now everyone will be like "We want more humans in diapers!" and I won't be able to write the rest of the ponies. :raritycry:

copying a fic that was bad to begin with


The last story I read was the exact opposite of this.

My god, this guy is in trouble.

Oh, dear Lord, I can see this getting featured and becoming popular (as popular can be) very quickly...

I shall read later.

>>2532223 "We want more humans in diapers!"

Ok-What thu fu-? I don't even... :rainbowderp:

Now I have to read this story. Da fuq happens?!

They need some people to comfort these them after this ordeal.  

Hell, us Cloppers would love this.

I shall read this, even though I find the whole rape thing a bit disturbing.

Would be kinda funny to see a rapid brony hater come across one of these Ponies.

it’s going to be legendary.

Sally had probably slept her way to aids by now

Are you talking about people that are hired as helpers or the disease AIDs?

puny human!

You stare into the eyes of a furious unicorn in an elaborate wizard’s hat and cape.

Don't you mean "ridiculous" wizard's hat and cape?  Or is this quickly going the way of BloodNinja?

Two of them involved a set of magical suspension gear to hang you from the cieling


Short, sweet, and violently to the point.  I get the feeling I should read what this is parodying.


Next chapter: brony-hater. Check.

Yeah, rape has a very negative connotation and I try to avoid it. Rape is wrong. Forced Pony Sex is satire. :pinkiehappy:

>>2532292 >>2532279

Isn't that the point? To write a bad satire of a story to get featured, before killing myself for debasing all the integrity I built up with my Octavia tragedy? :twilightsheepish:


If you can't beat them, join them. Three things get featured: ShortSkirts&Explosions, clop, and bad crossovers.

I'm not SS&E and I don't write crossovers. :trollestia:


Ever since I read pattycake, it's canon that Fluttershy enjoys age regression and foal play. If you can think of something more creepy, I'm all ears. :facehoof:


although this is better for vagrape

Yeah, this train definitely lost the brakes and passed freaky town several stops ago.

Yeah sorry, all I could think of.

Yeah, this is surely something iloveportalz0rs would like.  Really creepy at the end, and now I have weird head canon about what Fluttershy would do in a world she perceived as not having consequences.  Though I suppose I will try and help get this featured.  It would be funny to see side by side with the forced pony cuddles one (I forgot the actual title).


You die of dehydration on the floor, Fluttershy inadvertently kills you.


That's the goal. It'd be hilarious to get a screenshot of them side by side.

I just hope Aetherpony has a since of humor. I pissed off BronyWriter once and woke up missing three fingers. There was a note on the dresser from someone named "Joyous Blossom" warning me to watch my mouth.

Also, I bet Fluttershy comes back for him. Or, starts her own nursery.

Comment posted by LunaUsesCaps deleted at 2:42pm on the 9th of May, 2013

this line started roaming trough my head when reading about diapers:trollestia:


If he didn't like it...  Why did he write it?

Far as I can tell, no one forced him to.

~Skeeter The Lurker


It is authors like you that stand for good literature by destroying your reputation that I respect.  You point out our flaws and do not forgive us for them, but stick the  problem right in our face and beat us with it. Good luck and Luna's speed (Celestia's  speed, God's speed, Rainbow Dash's speed?) - Fourpony

Believe it or not I'd be laughed off a debate team, such a horrible writer / public speaker.... anyway that guy basically summed up why I did it. I have no regrets. Also, I keep telling people I'm a horrible writer, yet they keep on upvoting!

(But yeah, once the point is made I'll go back to my regular stories and stop trashing the site. Or will I? :trollestia:)

(no, I will. :fluttercry:)


Not sure what the quote had to do with anything

This....This is bad on a level I never seen before. Where the hell did you come up with this shit?

Suddenly Fluttershy has the ability to program creatures to do as she says.

Also given the simple fact that she ruin this guy's life for a quick fuck and fantasy is...



What he's saying is that he is doing a satirical comedy of the comedy.  He's quoting a person who complemented him for the same reason as you are brutalizing him.

is this based off of Force Pony Cuddles?


>Writing is an art, this is the messed up jesus painting.

Are you asserting that this story is NOT "art", just because it's satirical/non-serious? :ajbemused:

Eeh I'm not into heavy fetish stuff.

Well... considering I do read pony porn fics, I'm not into this kind of heavy fetish stuff.

I mean, bondage, and now some kind of messed up baby thing? Ugh... No thanks.

You typed the alphabet wrong. Its not zxy its zyx-  abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.


What makes you think that? Because yeah, I put in the description (that I copy/pasted and replaced cuddles with sex) that it's a satire on that story. Also, it's a satire on the fanbase, who with one voice denounces clop, and with one hand favorites it into the featured box.

(Also I'd be lying to say I didn't enjoy writing it.)


Step one: pick pony.

Step two: find a story about said pony and some weird stuff.

Step three: edit for grammar, leave the horrible puns, and get featured.

*shrug* it just came . . . to me.


Oh Morpheus, what would it cost to get you to say this:

"What if I told you, a mature sex tag

Is all it takes to get featured?"

(But yeah, four mature sex stories + one teen sex story featured right now. You can't make this stuff up *checks the story he just made up* oh ...)

Also, because I'm not a jerk, Thanks to Aetherpony for inspiring this train wreck of awesome. :pinkiehappy:

Was a little disturbing, I'll admit. If things get too scary, I'll move on to a more nicer kinda Human X Pony story like Xenophilia.

#36 · 81w, 9h ago · 2 · 2 · 3. Pinkie's Pinky ·


I'm not brutalizing. I've talked about this story, not him. I'm sure he's a good author. I just dont like things like this.

Ya know, I wanna be surprised about this. I really do.

But, well, I figured something like this would happen.

I don't know whether to :raritycry: or :flutterrage: or :pinkiehappy: so I'm just gonna read.

And you know that a true true friend is about three feet long, blunt, and capable of killing a person in one decent blow to the skull.

No, a true true friend is only five or six inches long, has a polymer grip, and is capable of spitting hot lead at speeds that exceed the sound barrier.


Holy s:pinkiegasp:t, don't tell me I'm the only one here who gets the Asimov's Laws of Robotics reference.


So far yes, and I shall spare your life for it. Well played. :scootangel:

I own a gun now. Guns are cool.


Thank you for not crushing me like an ant. I just couldn't resist the satire. Hopefully you get a few laughs out of it (and let me cuddle more ponies in the meantime.)

If it makes up for it, I loved Wild Rose. . . :twilightsheepish:


I agree you're not brutalizing. It's okay to not like things like this, heck I didn't like them at first but the innocence of My Little Pony died with "Miss Me?" and it's been downhill from there. Anyway, I was just trying to say that I didn't do this for the clop, I did this for the satire? Also, that I suck at persuasive arguments... Anyhow, it's definitely not for everyone, especially woona.


Yeah, I'd say "it's alright, it's only in the Fluttershy chapter." However, I'm guessing you're long gone and trying to scrub the mental imagery out of your head, in which case:


That's been recommended to me, actually. Apparently I can add sex to the growing list of things I'm good at (the others being dark, tragedy, and a horrible sense of humor.) As for the fetishy bits, those are there to poke fun at other stories (pattycakes/cupcakes.) For instance, Lyra's chapter she's going to have a ... well... I don't want to ruin it. I might still be able to stop myself before I'm in too deep.


Oh, my bad if I used strong words.  I know where you come from, too.  

Comment posted by Herpidty Derp deleted at 11:45pm on the 5th of May, 2013


dis b parod e


Art is, like, the Mona Lisa, or something. This is just awesomeness in written format. :rainbowkiss:

This is one blatant rip.

I love this so much xD


Theres nothing wrong with clop. Some very well written stories are clop. It's just the re-use of a subject with no plot at all for the sake of feature. I would rather create a powerful work that nobody read.

Haven't even read it yet, but I'm gonna give a thumbs up for the pic alone :rainbowlaugh:


Shh... shh... It's okay.

This has a comedy tag.

As I understand it, OP is trying to hit all the feature box's favorite fetishes so he can stay up there forever. The feature box likes to fap to some weird shit, you see.


Nah I just don't like comments like this: >>2532565  I wouldn't doubt as to why people would say it's: Easily repetitive plot, no real advancement in story line, simple humor, the list goes on. I just wish people would stop saying things are bad without a reason why. It's just supposed to be works of fun and cuddling. Not to be taken serious. :twilightsmile:

But, as far as grammar and punctuation is concerned, that's another story. I like my stuff to be as great as possible in that respect. It just sucks that I suck at that. :fluttercry:

Anyway, I'm glad that you found enjoyment out of Wild Rose, a lot of people seemed to. Keep up the good work, keep it coming. Though, well, some of these probably won't be my fetish. :rainbowderp:

#49 · 81w, 9h ago · 2 · 1 · 3. Pinkie's Pinky ·


I also prefer good stories no one reads to crappy features. My friend has been killing himself writing and re-writing some amazing surrealist stories, yet he can't get featured on fim fiction. EQD features his stories, but because his story isn't clop, he doesn't get featured here.

Any given day the featured box comprises entirely of poorly written stories with excellent premisis/cover art, clop, or SS&E/Darf/ any of those instant-feature authors. As a result, he and other aspiring authors, just doesn't get the credit they should. Hopefully this proves that to people. Not until after they favorite it, of course...

Anyhow, I agree that this bad clop. The goal was to re-use a subject with no plot at all for the sake of getting featured so me and my imaginary-hipster friends (because I have no friends) can laugh at everyone. As you pointed out, I did just that, and if I had a soul, I might feel remorse. Instead, I feel vindicated. Also, sticky.


#50 · 81w, 9h ago · 1 · 1 · 3. Pinkie's Pinky ·


Ah having been told many times my various stories are "bad" I apologize for that. I didn't mean to imply it was bad without giving a reason. (It's super annoying when that happens.)

I can go into a story like yours and just enjoy the cuddling. My intent was that the attention it got was disproportional to the amount it should have received. It's great it got featured, don't get me wrong we all want to cuddle with ponies so I understand why. Me and some of my editor friends see some truly amazing stories that never get near the featured box, due to "the readers" deciding stories like mine, and to a lesser extent yours about shameless cuddling, should be featured over epic 30-50k stories that an author spent three months on.

I spent a few hours on this, and already destroyed my best friend in views who has been constantly revising some EQD featured stuff of his that just isn't getting viewed / noticed. That's the real tragedy here. (That and my horrible writing.)

So I don't personally find any fault with your story. My beef is more with how anything the "top 10" authors on the site post gets featured within ten minutes, four clop stories on the list at once, or a story that rides to featured status on the title alone (a.k.a. this guy :twilightsheepish: )

It creates an atmosphere that discourages new authors (like I was 4 months ago) from continuing their stories on this site, usually quitting fan fiction writing all together.

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