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#1 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·

That ending....  I just....  Nooooooo.

Other than that...  That kid needs to write.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#2 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·

Word, that ending. Kaidan, you have a talent for surprises, you know that?

#3 · 72w, 5d ago · 1 · 2 ·

Good show.  Bad ending.

Fart porn is a turn off...

#5 · 72w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

At least she didn't shit on him.

#7 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·

funny how I just took a dump on the bed and now this...

four bean and cheese burritos hahahahaha

Nice work anon

#8 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Sssshhhhhh... ;)

#9 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh? you take donations? ... :pinkiecrazy:

#10 · 72w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Change in perspective was annoying. Writing was klanky. REALLY wish I could rate individual chapters.

#11 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

this was great regardless of the ONE fart at the end. cloppable ... yes

#12 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Not much into the ending and the change in writing styles through me off. You should write a Octavia one that wasn't donated though

#13 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

I wrote this.


I'll take those as compliments.


I'll take these as constructive criticism.


This scares me.


Somebody wanted me to, and then I thought of my sanity.

#14 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Firsy he, then I, then you, dood, stop changing perspectives so much!

but at least it was Octavia!

#15 · 71w, 6d ago · · ·

having 2 first person roles was a bit hard to follow but other then that it was a good read. not my fetish but who the buck cares lol.

#16 · 70w, 2d ago · · ·


I don't know if the authors note was serious about you being fourteen, or if it was a joke (hard to tell with Kaidan some times) but aren't there age barriers on Fimfiction?

Ah, who gives a flying f*@k anyway?

A couple of tense issues. Nothing major bad with this. I am surprised that you didn't allow Octavia to have a coprophagy scene XD

8 1/2 out of 10 If I had to rate. Brohoof /)

#17 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2677209 This was actually amazing. If you actually are 14, then more respect to you, for that and sharing your fart fetish. This was an enjoyable chapter.

#18 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·


If I remember correctly it was the day after my birthday. I couldn't sleep and I got a dare from a friend to write scat porn. Chapter = Product

I mostly just came back to snicker at how badly written this is and shall remain (though I could definitely make it better). I don't even clop xD

#19 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2677209 I don't know who you are but you are awsome

#20 · 52w, 6d ago · · ·

octavia should of created ths with him


#21 · 52w, 6d ago · · ·

oh...did i just read the last part...holy hell

#22 · 33w, 6d ago · 1 · ·


I see what you did there. Nice... a bit odd, but nice

#23 · 29w, 3d ago · · ·

Was it 'he', 'I', or 'you'? Seemed to change throughout the chapter

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