Standard concept, but one with plenty of room for variation within it. Lets see where you go with this. *tracks, will read later*

I like this story but I think RD would be in for more of a frenzy in the hospital. I thought that she seemed too calm to fit her personality. Still a good story and I can't wait to see what you do with it.

(Authors Note): So, this is my first story, I hope you like it

Anyway, I might need someone to be an editor for my story (seeing as that I don't have one yet) to help  improve my story.

All in all, the fact that my story is liked is SO AWESOME

Pretty Good start, im looking orward to reading the rest of this - gotta love AppleDash. XD

this is great

lol'd at the 'sleep with you again' moment

Great at the moment, some small irritation moments like the repeating at:

"pinning her to the wall, stomach to the wall" (could be they pinned her, stomach to the wall).

But else I enjoyed the story and am waiting for the next chapters

Loving it so far. Really not much to say other than I hope that the next updates are as good as this one.

Thanks for the positive feedback everypony

You know what would be awesome? Just share this story with your friends, spread it around, get people to rate and comment.

>>208243208243I will share this with a lot of friends. Also if you haven't read my friend's fic "Friendship Is Tough" then you should! I'm trying to promote his story a lot because it is a reason of how we became friends.

>>210658210658 Thanks, I really appreciate it

I haven't read it yet, but I will do so

I feel sorry for anyone that has to write Zecora into their fics.

Excellent chapter im awaiting more.

I love what you've done with Rainbow Dash's inner self and how you used it for the reveal. It was nicely paced and realistic, which is a good change from the "OMG I think I'm in love because her eyes are pretty and now what do I do and oh God what if she doesn't like mares and what if other ponies hate us and--" thing. Those aspects are all there, and it's necessary that they be there, but they're more in-depth and they build up as you go through the chapter. Brilliant.

The rest of this chapter is great, too. Dialogue fits, and the characters are written well, especially Dash. Your Zecora stuck out as being written creatively and excellently, but I sorta wish you did more with her. At the same time, though, I think that you put that scene there for a reason, and I think you might have been foreshadowing with AJ being pushy with Dash, and that's all that felt off, so I officially have no bones to pick with you.

Except the universal one, which is, of course...

KEEP WRITING!

* Announcer Voice* What will happen next? Will Rainbow Dash tell Applejack her true feelings? And if she does will RD find herself where many are stranded to this very day? The FRIEND ZONE? Join us next time to find out!

>>215883215883

NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL-....wait a minute.... blah i want more i wanna know what happens T.T

Rainbow Dash went balls out on that one.

You can doo eeet! You can do eet ALL! NIGHT! LONG!

Okay, perhaps that isn't the best way to get Rainbow's hopes up, but at least I tried.

I love these stories, very well written, not a rushed story, very good grammar, and definitely one of the best fics I've ever read. You're an amazing writer keep up the good work, sir.

Great story, really love this one a lot. Not just the standard "I love you, Ah love you. done." stuff. One minor critique I would add is that when ponies ask AJ or RD about what is wrong/their love life it seems like they suddenly tell everything. I would imagine that it would take a little more convincing to get them to spill such a big secret. Keep up the great work! I absolutely loved the rain scene.

I found the dream scene funny.

Oh how i cannot wait for the new chapter, I'm addicted to this.

>>202580202580

just making a point to say in the comments that the position of editor is taken ^_^

i want moar !!!!!

and i got first

woo hoo, Looking forward to the next chapter.

I didn't need to sleep tonight.

Jolly good show!

>>221553221553 I see what you did there!

Me neither, not that I have an important test or anything, great story, and no shipping, pure and clean...............nice

I love it!

Awesome new chapter.

I love the innocent feel with this story! Wonderfully done!

Can't wait till the next chapter!

>>249264249264

im currently in the process of editing it so TheRainbowEffect should have it posted by tuesday

>>265417265417

sorry guys i have been sick for a few days ill have the edit done soon

When are they gonna tell Rainbow's family?

>>275229275229 You are a genius. Take all of my internets!!!!

>>275229275229 Soon enough, good sir.

>>275229275229 Who is Rainbow? I only know of a Dew Drop. Are they related? :P

omai...now i really cant wait to edit the next chapter :D

i wonder if she tasted the rainbow when she dyed her mane

>>279898279898 if not pinkie did when they went to cloudsdale remember? its spicy

I'm loving this story so far! Keep up the good work!

Woohoo first comment. i am so nervous, what should I say? OH GOD THE PRESSURE IS GETTING TO ME!

But seriously this chapter was cute. I really like how you had go to their secret spot to announce it to their friends. It makes it more of an impact that they were willing to share a place that was only for those two with their friends to show how much they cared about each other and of their opinions.

It does however feel a tad bit rushed. It wouldn't hurt to add a little fluff in there. However that just might be me needing to adjust from reading It Takes a Villages massive chapters which I have speant the last couple of hours reading. Getting off track, this chapter was good and I look forward to the next one. Allons-y!  

yes first (i think) its a nice story and good writing

i am watching you and your awesome fic very closely

Hey, everypony, sorry about the lack of new chapter recently. I've had a lot on my plate and haven't been able to write much lately, but I'm working on it now and will get it done ASAP

its like i know that Midnight Whisper pony hmmmmmm.......

Image: http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg285/draikrider1/3315802_4ca44201a91f4dd90baf5a8900fa5785.png

Weird right? But what are the chances of you actually knowing that? Lets be realistic here Midnight.

Anyways, amazing chapter as always. You are going to have to put the next chapter out soon because I really want to learn more about Dew Drops parents.

Bah, Midnight Whister... Everyone know Midnight Quill is the better pony.

I can't wait till the next update!!! We are going to see Dashie's parents!

its whisper   and i like my pony :(

Dun dun duuuuuun!

This story is the reason i made my account i really want to know what happens, it's an amazing story

first

nice chapter::

The argument with the parents seemed kinda rushed and akward... I got a little confused because it was just dialogue. Maybe if you described what they were doing/acting, as well as describe facial expressions it could be a lot better.

Other than that, very nice chapter! Can't wait to see the 'date'!

>>344037344037 I see what you mean, good sir. Thank you for pointing that out, I'll make a note to do better about that in future chapters.

“Haters gonna hate.”  is being a Brony in three words

>>350421350421

Haters gonna hate, ponies gonna pwn.

>>350503350503 true dat!

>>350686350686 Hater gonna hate, ponies gonna pwn, Trollestia gona troll, need i say more?

does the yes dance;

i love blackbird, one of my favorites from the white album

another excellent chapter

New chapter soon if I can crack the whip on him

YES, Blackbird in a fic, my life is complete!

All we need now is Blueblood ruining the moment.

Aw that was a good chapter I can't wait for more!

I'll be honest, I really didn't care for this chapter. Nothing really has happened except tell us that they entered the Gala and give us a recap of what we have already read.

One thing that is still bothering me is I feel like I am reading a play script. We have plenty of dialogue, but almost no narration. Try to describe the scenery as well as narrate what the characters are doing. For examples: Tell us that Rainbow Dash is hugging Applejack when she is explaining how much she loves her to Spitfire. The reactions of the other nobles when the two are being all lovey dovey with each other. etc

It will make the character's conversations seem more natural when we get a better idea of what is happening around them. Right now it feels kind of awkward and forced.

>>382758382758 Ooh, that kinda hurt to read, but I definitely needed that one. I'm sorry if you weren't satisfied with this chapter, I'll keep on trying

I'll have to agree with Midnight; there isn't much narration. The setting isn't really explained in detail; it's mostly dialouge. It feels almost forced. Try explaining what happens in the setting a little more.

All in all, I think this chapter needs more. It's just a recap in the end, it feels like you could make it through the story without this chapter. Also, I think you could use a proofreader.

Either way, good luck with this!

- EmuZSNES

>>382764382764 No problem. I do enjoy this story, but improvement only comes when good critiques are given. I can't wait to see how much you can improve as a writer!

>>382818382818 You have a good point. And considering that this is my first story, I definitely can improve not only with this story, but with my future ones as well

proofreader....does my editing not count

This chapter was kinda unnecessary. It would have been better if you just wrote about how they told the story instead of retelling us what we already know. You could have put more emphasis on some of the events at the gala.

Poor Rainbow Dash Never knew having broken wings would actaully make her cry T-T

Daaaaaawwwwwwwwww. .... So adorable

Damn you sir.

Just when I think I can take a break from my story I read phenomenal stories like yours and I want to write mine again.

^^^ Not a bad thing.

Well, here's the new chapter everyone! I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. We have taken your comments to heart and have tried to edit our writing style to have it fix all the problems we've seen and heard from all of you. Hope you like it

-TheRainbowEffect & MidnightWhisper

Why? Because we love you that's why!

Alrighty then, I finally got around to tracking this (adding it to my read later list, whatever) so I'm one step closer to actually reading it. Will read soon, also, the thumbs up to thumbs down ratio looks promising.

>>402311402311

*squee!!!!* yay IJAB

I'm terribly sorry about the lack of update to the story this past week. I've had a lot on my plate lately and haven't had time to work on the story. I hope you'll forgive me; I'll try and get the new chapter done and uploaded ASAP

I must say,

this chapter was a LOT better then any of your previous once i think.

I'm not a writer myself, so I don't really know how you can improve your skills, but I do think you are improving.

Keep up the good work!

Alrighty, we're terribly sorry about the REALLY, REALLY late update. We've had a lot of stuff on our plates and have taken a while to get the next chapter up. That being said, we hope that we can get the chapter up tomorrow at the latest. We hope you'll enjoy it. As consolation, here's a bunch of mustaches.

TheRainbowEffect & MidnightWhisper

alright, after a longer than necessary wait, here's the newest chapter of our story!

-MW

also, sorry if i missed some stuff in the editing process i did it quickly this morning and if you spot something, feel free to let us know

What the fuck? Applejack seems overly dramatical there... I mean she knows Rainbow's an attention whore, I'd expect her to understand what Rainbow meant...

Dude, this story is so well written and beautiful, keep it up

Also, LOL on how you made Dash broke the fourth wall in this chapter, twice

Props to you man, heres some moustache

WTF Effect! i wanted a full recap of the whole damn Gala. Including everything down to the last speck of dust in the corner. (JK)

Nice chapter and of course there is a cliffhanger so I shall keep reading. Nice job once again.

>>460874460874 Well, you know how mares/women can be sometimes. Have some moustache.

>>461107461107 Thank you, I found it very humorous while writing it. Here is some moustache in return.

>>461182461182 Exactly. I wanted to have some conflict in this chapter, even a cliffhanger, because there hasn't been much conflict in this story, and a story can get dull without conflict. You may also have some moustache.

>>461336461336 Oh I do know, but AJ never struck me as one that would be such a beetch...

Whatever I guess.

>>461629461629 Eh, like I said, I just wanted some conflict in the story, and I might have rushed to make it happen.

>>461665461665 I think so.

*le gasp*

Will leave review when this is finished and I love the story so far and think you're doing phenomenal. Keep up the good work.

Personaly I love this story. I personaly like to read a story purely based on romance and the pursuit for it. Your story is well written, you keep the emotions of the characters nice and raw which is what I like to see.

Just one TEENZY WEENSY spelling mistake. Near the top where you say Twilight broke the spell and Rainbow --->HID<--- the ground hard. Unless it's suppose to be like that. :)

All in all, I love it. (Bit bummed about hearing that your gonna be a while but oh well I can wait.)

Hope the ending is an adorable one.

I only saw one thing and it was near the end:

"said Rainbow, breaking the hug to look at Rainbow."

She broke the hug to look at herself?

I know what you mean, of course; it was still amusing, though.

sorry guys that's my fault on there but thanks for pointing those out

Story is nice but your Twilight is a little mechanical. I think your going for nerdy but I don't feel a lot of emotion from her. Twi is best.

  It would take Applejack a while to figure out a metaphor.

Also, "I'm Pinkie Pie," is the best explanation for Pinkie ever.  

hmmm, in all honesty this now feels rushed, if anything, each chapter feels more rushed than the last. i liked the story and the plot, but at one point during the story, it felt like you were going through a checklist of what needed to be in the story. not to mention that the outburst from applejack felt out of place but it had me to believe that tension could be created from it, unfortunately it seems to have been completely rapped up.

obviously this is your story and you have ideas where you want to lead it, but at the moment, i'm losing the feeling i had when i read the first chapter. of course this is just my opinion thus far and i understand if everyone doesn't feel the same way

You had indenting in the first five chapters or so, and then you suddenly decide to drop it. It's like it went backwards in terms of readability. What gives?