Cynewulf
Joined 5th Dec, 2011 ·
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I liked it. This isn't much of a comment and I wish I could say more, but for now, I liked it.
I honestly don't know how you do it. I can't tell if you're extremely well educated and just write pony stories for kicks while you're working on the next great American Novel, or if you sold your soul to a higher power for the gift of wonderful prose, but you have this writing style that I'd kill a small child to have (Well, okay not a small child, but, probably a child sized man)
Either way, please don't stop writing.
I'm glad my sordid knowledge of dens of debauchery could finally be of use to someone! This was a fun piece, and I know how it is to not have an idea leave you alone until you write it. Very annoying, especially when you have updates to write. Annnnyway, with any luck, you'll get this in the pit of despair that is the feature box!
How you do this so effortlessly, or at least make it look as if it were, is beyond me. Brilliant stuff.
And that's the bottom line.
Quite the enjoyable read, please write more.
Hmm... Shining Armor no more. Tarnished Armor? Corroded Armor?
One wonders if that would be the sort of place some... other species might frequent. Or even run.
2575683 I'm glad you liked it. Kind of thought it would fall flat.
2575852
Experience.
2575967 Silly Bronius it isn't long enough. :P
2576049 Experience, self-doubt, lots of music, and a desperate need to write
2576068 This is why I like you. Besides your writing skill and name that's fun to Latinize and your neat-ness
2576133 The original plan was for a zebra actually. I think it is frequented by lots of species.
2576127 Will do!
2576172
Oh, you!
Skill-wise, what have I got that you haven't?
This could have been a lot darker than it turned out to be, and I have to say I was relieved things didnt spiral too much. Granted, this was a bad situation. But I think that perhaps he could be forgiven.
2576133 I'm surprised you didn't think of Sundered Armor, or even Shattered Armor, Subdued Armor? I feel like keeping the S is the way to go.
An interesting read. Part of that blog post a while back about some kind of writing challenge? I say this because it doesn't seem quite as polished as your other stuff. Still, I enjoyed it.
2576645
I was keeping with the theme of "dirtied".
2576691 Sullied Armor. I am a walking thesaurus.
2576796
That works. Sordid Armor?
2576842 Perfect
2576873
It is, isn't it? Perfect word for the situation.
2576238 technically he's not, he is just an MP--military police--at the base Shining is at. I more or less stole "Mac and Shining served in the army together" from Bronius Maximus >.>
2576353 Hope is a thing with feathers and all that. I like to think that the realization of one's own sordid, sinful self is the first step towards being better. I think that when he gets home, Shining is a changed stallion. If he's good. If he wants it.
2576645 Nah, this thing has just been sitting in Google Docs for a long time. The original was actually really different. It's a lot less polished. I kind of just... got sick of it. With oneshots, I'll just say eh **** it and push through my own feelings of bluh to finish.
Vedy nice.
Bringing in Big Mac as an MP strikes me as random and rather jarring, but that aside, I liked this. It's a seedy, angsty, quite tasty little morsel.
This really got me into it. It also seems like something that could happen and that's one reason I liked it. And Mac seems like someone with a milatary background.
Oh Shining Armor...tsk tsk...
Definitely an interesting one-shot. And I kinda like the idea of SA and Big Mac being an MP unit together. Dunno why though.
...damn.