An It Harm None

by DuncanR

"Mother taught me everything she knows."

They arrived at the sod hut without incident. There, waiting in the open-air stables, was a massive stallion with a shaggy olive-colored coat and mane. It was too dark to make out his appearance but Twilight recognized him from before: he’d been the one carrying the girl into battle. He turned to give them a sedate look but did nothing to interfere.

“Spike, open the door. We’re taking her straight to the bed.”

“You got it!”

He opened the latch and threw the door open. Twilight and Applejack ducked down through the door and navigated the cluttered interior, tripping over chairs and boxes. Spike tossed the heap of laundry off of the bed and onto the floor, and they laid the stretcher directly on the mattress. Twilight immediately opened the figure’s cloak. She was a frail little thing, with pale, cream-colored skin. There was a lithe look about her... elegant.

The garment she wore under the cloak wasn’t merely a dress, but a full-length ball gown, black and grey. Fancy ruffles ran along her shoulders and cuffs and her ankle-length skirt was plaited in layers and trimmed with lace. She was wearing a bodice, a corset, and at least three petticoats. Twilight recognized a few of the garments from her conversations with Rarity. She ran a hoof along the ruffled sleeve. Sure enough, it was silk.

The ensemble was extravagantly styled, but faded and decrepit. The silk garments were water stained and the rest of the outfit had several layers of dirt or dust ground into it. There were tiny rips and tears all over, and some of the lace seemed to be covered with cobwebs... though it might have been an intentional element of the design. There was no major damage, but the entire outfit was faded. Worn. Neglected.

Twilight tugged off one of the girl’s fingerless elbow-length opera gloves and nudged her nose against the bare wrist. As alien as the limb was, there was a recognizable pulse. Twilight pulled the hood back and examined her head. Her face was narrow and pale, and the only blemish was a single black dot on her cheek. Her hair was jet black: tresses framed each side of her face, curving inward to sharp points like a pair of fangs. Her bangs had been trimmed in a downward point like a widow’s peak. Twilight gently opened one of her eyes: it was steel grey.

Applejack leaned closer. “My lawsey... she looks like a month-old weddin’ cake.”

Twilight straightened up. “Her pulse is strong and there’s no sign of trauma to the neck. She doesn’t seem to be wounded. She was probably just knocked down.”

Rainbow Dash leaned over her shoulder. “Great. So. Can we leave now?”

“We can’t just abandon her.”

“Why not? That’s exactly what we can do.”

“She needs help!”

Dash frowned at her. “You don’t know that! You don’t know a single thing about her! You can’t even guess what sort of food she eats or what medicine she needs. Wild beasts are nothing like civilized animals.”

“She’s not a beast!” snapped Twilight. “She’s a person and she needs help!”

“Would you take a look at this place?” Dash waved at the filthy interior of the sagging, decrepit hut. “She’s probably spent her whole life in this monster-infested jungle. You’d have to be tough as a box of bricks to survive here. I guarantee she can take care of herself.”

“What about tall, dark and shaggy out there?” Applejack said, pointing out a window. “Seems like he lives here too. Maybe he takes care of her.”

Twilight turned back to the unconscious girl. “The storms came from this part of the Everfree Forest. They represent a new threat. What if the bears are new as well? What if she’s in danger?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “If that’s so, the best thing is to stop the bears ourselves. Which is exactly what we were going to do anyways. This changes nothing.”

Twilight turned to Applejack, imploring.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno... it does seem like we’ve meddled enough as it is. And Dash is right. Giving her the wrong food or medicine will do more harm than good. But don’t we owe her an answer? Couldn’t we at least say hello before we say goodbye?”

Dash shook her head. “You’re still treating her like a helpless little critter. She fought off a whole troop of bears, didn’t she?”

Applejack turned to Twilight. “You were the only one who saw it. What do you think? How dangerous is she, really?”

She pawed at the floor. “I’m... pretty sure... she knows magic. Sort of.”

Applejack and Dash glanced at each other, then back to Twilight. “Sort of?”

“I never saw her cast any spells, but she must have used magic to fight off the Ursine warriors. There were things she did that couldn’t have been done any other way.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“...She fought them off with just a broom.”

Applejack shrugged. “Doesn’t surprise me one bit. I’ve seen granny Smith beat a stallion silly for trouble-makin’, and she had nothing but a walking cane.”

Dash nodded. “She’s mean with that thing, isn’t she?”

“This was different. She... well...” Twilight bit her lower lip. “When her broom struck the bear, it somehow transmogrified him into a horde of amphibians.”

They stared at her in disbelief.

“I know it sounds silly. There’s no such thing as a ‘turn-people-into-frogs’ spell, but that’s what I saw. Maybe it was an illusion, or some kind of ‘waking-nightmare’ spell. But that would still be powerful magic.”

Applejack glanced at the exit. “You know, I think I’m with Dash on this one. We should probably skedaddle.”

Twilight set her jaw. “We can’t just leave now. We’ve involved ourselves too much to just walk away. She’s almost certain to know we did something. We at least owe her an explanation for what’s going on.”

“Gee, really?” Dash hovered as high as the ceiling would allow and glared down at her. “Because, y’know, I’d love to hear that explanation myself right about now. It was starting to seem like we don’t have a clue what’s going on here!”

A piercing shriek stunned them all. The girl sat bolt upright and scrambled back against the wall.

“Roadapples!” Applejack cried, flinching away. “Okay, there’s nothing to be—”

The girl scuttled sideways, hugging the wall. She let out a series of short, piercing screams and her wild eyes locked on them constantly. She blundered into some shelves and sent a whole set of cookware clattering to the floor. She stumbled through a curtain and tore it down from the ceiling.

Twilight stepped forward, slowly, without any sudden movements. “It’s okay, we’re here to help! It’s okay!”

The girl frantically reached for the table beside her and knocked over several mason jars. She snatched one up and hurled it at them.

“Whoa there!” Applejack sidestepped the jar, and the two that followed. The last jar broke apart and splashed the earthen floor with a sizzling green liquid.

“No-no-no, wait wait wait!” Twilight said. “We only want to... okay. Can you understand me? Can you say something? We can work on the language barrier if we just calm down and cooperate!”

The girl continued to shriek like a feral beast. She tossed a table on it’s side and hid behind it, hurling crude little forks and butter knives at them. When she ran out of cutlery she skittered along the floor on all fours and threw open an iron-banded strongbox.

“That’s it,” Dash said and marched forward. “This diplomacy thing is getting us nowhere. Time for some oh wow that’s... a very large...”

The girl gripped a heavy iron blade in both hands and pointed it directly at Dash’s nose. Most of it was rusty and dented, but the cutting edge gleamed like polished silver. The girl’s breath was short and sharp and her eyes twitched about the room.

There was a moment of silence.

Dash leaned close to Applejack and whispered “See? She lives in a jungle, and she has a machete.”

“Is that what that is?” Applejack said. “It’s bigger than she is!”

“Who... who are you?” the girl whispered.

“We share a language!” Twilight smiled at her. “Hello there! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my—”

The girl darted forward and swiped her blade out, cutting the air with a ringing whistle. Twilight froze as the last quarter inch of her mane drifted down in front of her eyes.

“What. Are you doing. In my home.”

Twilight backed away. Her voice was flat and matter of factly. “We found your home earlier by accident. You weren’t here. We went into the forest and found you, today, injured. We carried you back here. We only wanted to help.”

“I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help.”

“Toldja so,” whispered Dash.

“Shush!” hissed Twilight. She took a moment to recompose herself. “I am very sorry we intruded on your privacy. We will leave you alone if you wish. We have our own business in the mountains, but after that is concluded we’ll—”

“Get out of my house.”

“All right. We didn’t mean to—”

“Out. Out! Out!” She swiped the machete through the air with a faint ringing sound.

“Okay! We’re going! We’re going.”

Applejack and Twilight backed away, moving towards the door.

Dash followed after them, but hesitated at the door. She glanced back at the girl. “Hey, were you fighting the bears earlier? Is that how you got hurt?”

“Dash!” hissed Applejack. “We’re not welcome here!”

“Is it true you hit a bear so hard he turned into a bunch of frogs? That’s pretty hardcore, isn’t it? I bet you can kick all kinds of flank.”

“It’s not my fault,” the girl said. “They started it. It’s not my fault.”

Dash nodded. “I totally understand... you gotta protect your home, right? You can’t let people just stomp all over your home and hurt your loved ones. I know a thing or two about loyalty.”

The girl said nothing. Her bottom lip trembled.

“Does anyone else live here?” Dash slowly walked towards the girl. “Is that what you’re fighting for? Your home and loved ones?”

“It’s my mother’s house,” she said, still pointing the machete at Dash’s neck. “She’s away.”

“That’s a shame. But to be honest, you seem like a pretty tough cookie yourself. I bet you could fight those bears off all by yourself if you had to. I mean, if you were properly armed.” Dash stepped closer, until the point of the blade tickled the hair on her neck. “We both know you don’t need a silly knife to fight. You trounced those bears with just a broom... now that’s a real weapon.”

The girl glanced briefly at the other side of the room. There was a rack of brooms leaning against the far wall, all unique and handcrafted.

“I bet you’d feel a whole lot safer with a broom in your hands... wouldn’t you?” Dash nodded to the broom rack. “Go ahead and get one. We’ll wait right here. Promise.”

The girl sidled along the wall and snatched up a broom that was leaning against a table. She dropped the machete and pointed the cleaning implement at them instead.

Dash nodded to her with an exceedingly casual smile. “That’s a pretty nice broom you got there. Did you make it yourself?”

The girl’s eyes lost some of their fire. “I make everything I need. Mother taught me everything she knows.” She lowered the broom until she was holding it like an ordinary household tool.

“Do you still want us to leave? We can go, if you like.”

The girl slumped all at once and trudged to a shelf. She took out an ornate green-glass bottle and sat at a table.

The ponies watched her for a moment. They approached the table politely, but the girl didn’t respond. She busied herself with a small set of silverware.

Twilight cleared her throat. “So. Miss...?”

“Absinthe,” she said. Her voice was hushed.

“Miss Absinthe? That’s... an uncommon name.”

The girl held up the glass bottle. “Absinthe.”

Twilight stared at the bottle. “Oh... my. Goodness.”

The girl took out a flat silver spoon with ornate holes and grooves. The holes formed the symbols for alchemical plants... wormwood. Anise. Fennel.

The girl nodded to her. “Absinthe?

“Ah... I know what it is, yes.”

“I meant, do you want some absinthe.”

Twilight stared into her steel grey eyes.

“No. Thank you. But I saw a kettle over there, earlier. Do you have any tea?”

“...With absinthe?”

“No. Just tea. If you please.”

The girl stood up, set a kettle in the fireplace, and returned to the table.

Applejack stared at the strange green bottle. She watched as the girl poured an equally green liquid into her cup and lifted a sugar lump with the silver spoon.

Applejack eyed the cup. “Ah... what are you having?”

“Absinthe.”

“What does it taste like...?”

The girl shrugged. “Like absinthe.”

The kettle let off a harsh whistle, and the girl went to a cupboard and took out a box of loose tea.

Twilight leaned close to Applejack and whispered in her ear. “It’s extremely toxic. And extremely illegal. Just stick with the tea.”

The girl came back with the kettle, and three teacups. She poured them each a drink without filtering the ground up leaves. Twilight lifted her cup with her magic, and took a sip. Dash ignored her cup, while Applejack fumbled with her own... instead of a proper mouth-grip, it had a vertical handle designed exclusively for fingers.

Twilight leaned back with a sigh. “This is amazing! What’s in it?”

“Absinthe.”

Twilight spit a mouthful of liquid onto the table.

The girl looked at her, still bland as dishwater. “It was a joke.”

“Oh... right. Sorry.” Twilight tried to wipe up the mess on the table.

“It’s a Ceylon Lumbini blend,” the girl said. “I grow it in the yard. You can trade for some, if you like.”

“That would be wonderful,” said Twilight, “but we don’t really have any trade goods with us.”

Dash leaned her forelegs on the table. “So why do you have an axe if you don’t have any firewood?”

Applejack frowned at her. “Let’s not be rude, now. We’re guests.”

The girl ignored Applejack. “I burn wood in the winter. When it is winter, I chop firewood. It is not winter. For cooking and brewing, I use coal.”

“For cooking and...brewing? What sort of brewing?”

“Elixirs. Lotions. Teas. I primarily work with herbs and mushrooms.”

“You’re an alchemist? That’s a very rare talent where we come from. It must be interesting!”

The girl stared at Twilight’s teacup as it danced through the air, seemingly on its own. The magical sparkles of light reflected in the girl’s eyes. “Yes... very interesting. Very exciting.”

Applejack cleared her throat, daintily. “So, how about your neighbors in the mountain range? Are they a regular problem for you?”

“The Drizzly Bears often cause trouble when mother is away. They hate and fear mother in equal measure. I have learned to safeguard my home when she is absent. They, in turn, are learning to fear me.” She stirred the green liquid in her cup. “They do not learn as quickly as I do.”

Applejack glanced at Twilight. “You know, maybe we should work together on this. We could at least get some information about what’s going on... what the bears want.”

The girl stared at them, blankly. “What do you want? Why are you here?”

“Well,” said Applejack, “our village was hit pretty hard by a bunch of storms. We think they might be coming from around here and we’re fixin’ to put a stop to it. We’re pretty sure these... ‘Drizzly Bears’ have something to do with it.”

The girl’s delicate eyebrows furrowed slightly. “The... Millstone? That does go quite a ways back.”

Twilight tilted her head. “A millstone? The inscriptions mentioned some sort of magical obelisk: an artifact of great power. Could that be...?”

“The Millstone of Misery. Quite likely.” The girl lifted her glass and swirled the green liquid within. “If the Drizzly Bears have found a way to set it in motion once more, the situation is indeed dire. The Millstone is an engine of chaos and strife powerful enough to enshroud the whole of the realm in eternal suffering."

Dash tilted her head. “So, bad?”

“There is no good or bad. There only is.”

Dash frowned. “Bad... for us?”

The girl nodded. “My, yes.”

“This Millstone,” Twilight said, “so you know how it works? How it can be stopped?”

“I’ve never seen it myself. I know of it only through mother’s stories. I could tell you some of what I know.”

“Thank you!” Twilight said. “Anything at all would be invaluable!”

The girl sipped from her glass. “We will see what comes of this.”

Dash frowned. “Okay, there’s something I don’t get. You’re not a goblin or a monkey, and you’re definitely not any kind of pony. So what are you?”

“Anastasia,” She said and set her empty glass down. “Anastasia Magdalene.”

“That’s cool,” said Dash. “Can I call you Maggie?”

She nodded. “You may.”

“Cool. But that still doesn’t tell us what you are.”

“I am a witch,” she said. “Mother taught me everything she knows.”

Comments

[Rainbooms]

Nice twist.
I was expecting all out war.

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

Don't Burn The Witch - Venom

[Aurum]

I have a feeling her mother's been gone for very long.

[SwimmingDalek98]

FINALLY, things are making SENSE! Wait... Millstone, millstone... let me get my 'Mystic Artifacts Guide'... Okay, Chapter 572, Section 48, Equestrian Artifacts... it's not here. Alright, let's check the Index. Milreos, Milimoro, ah! Millstone, page 485669254! And... THERE we are! But... it's in another dimension! This book keeps track of the location of ALL magical artifacts! How is it in two locations at a time? Unless... it's a knock-off! Hah! Knew it, it says right here the Millstone causes a storm-based Apocalypse! If it was the real deal, that world would've DROWNED in lightning and water! Says here, it's... made from the... *hurgh* 'fluids of Storm Spirits'. Dude, I KNOW you let the Storm Spirits out, and the knock-off is quite old, DID YOU MAKE A FAKE MILLSTONE AND SEND IT BACK IN TIME, YOU FRIGGIN RETARD? DO YOU KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF ALTERING TIME IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T ALLOW EXTREME TIME TRAVEL, A WORLD LIKE EQUESTRIA?I'LL TELL YA WHAT HAPPENS, DIMENSIONAL INFECTION! THAT DIMENSION'S POISONED! NOW IT'S GONNE BURN, BLEED, AND DIE!

Should I record the whole thing, or just the ending of it?

[G-AB Acid]

2560223 plz go

[DuncanR]

2560115
You know, to me, open warfare is the least interesting plot device of all. It's too big and shapeless... unless the outcome of the war is decided by a tiny handful of exceptional individuals, in which case it's cliched and contrived. I'm sure there are a few amazing war stories out there, but it's not something I could write or enjoy properly.

2561000
Oh, he's just enthusiastic. As long as nobody confuses his posts for actual canon or conjecture, there's no harm. Though I'd be eager to hear more actual comments and conjecture from both of you.

Personally, I'm more worried about the guy posting all those songs... heavy metal doesn't match the mood of the story at all. You'd be better off with some Juno Reactor, or perhaps that one Unkle song.

[Mr Swanky Hat]

“I am a witch,” she said. “Mother taught me everything she knows.”

Sorry, couldn’t help myself