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Visiden Visidane
Joined February 2012
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Visiden Visidane
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Joined February 2012
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9w, 11hPony Warfare
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15w, 2dCompleted Story Compendium
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18h, 13mEQD on FIM
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Whoo... I'm finally current. Thanks for the story, Vis. Let me say that I'm enjoying this immensely, and greatly looking forward to every update.
Now for the bad news. I'm finally current. There's no more of the story I'm enjoying immensely for me to read until you update it...
Poor Terrato. That vision of his won't just be a pipe dream, even if its realization is still later than sooner.
Really liking this story. Celestia is characterized in a way that is both realistic and perfectly meshes with her demeanor in the show. I don't know whether I'm apprehensive or excited, though, to see it all fall down around her ears, which will surely happen now that Luna and the Elements are involved. Keep up the good work.
In closing, "Luna and the Elements" would be a decent name for a rock band.
Infantry.
Medical.
Logistics (food production).
Reconnaissance.
Logistics (uniforms).
Offensive spellcasting.
Civilian. Bathhouse heating?
It looks like they're all spread out. I'm seeing a lot of changes in the works for all of them, quite a bit of desensitization. I hope they don't lose themselves. Good luck, friends.
Yes, Fluttershy has every right to be concerned. If in the future they have to use the Elements of Harmony, I'm sure it will be Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and possibly Rarity that will pull the others back in. AJ too. But I'm worried for Twilight and more so for Rainbow. 
Dun-dun-DUNNNN! It looks like Black Rose is moving forward. Here's a question, though. If she was at the bottom of a shaft, buried under a huge stone pillar, for seven hundred years, how has she known so quickly the situations behind closed doors and how to exploit everypony around her so soon after her return? Has she been able to watch, through astral projections, or something? Wouldn't Terrato have detected her if she'd tried that, when he exhumed her to ensure she was dead, all those years ago?
I can't help but think Black Rose is systematically trying to remove the magic of the Elements. First, RD has lost her loyalty. I don't trust that mana sphere Spike has now, it can't be good for Twilight, and I'm calling right now that the episode in the smithy was aimed at also undermining Rarity's generosity. Thankfully, Pinkie has been spreading laughter, and I can't see AJ becoming less honest as things now stand. However...
I guess I'd better just keep reading.
I was so afraid that Rainbow would actually succeed and become insufferable and renounce her "chosen" status for good. Then I was worried that one of them would die. Thankfully I think both crises are past, though we'll have to wait for Fluttershy to come through in the Med Bay. Nothing like a good crisis to pull friends closer together. I hope.
Creation myth ahoy! The Heavenly Realm must be really weird, if one alicorn spawned three races and others brought the lupids, ursids, and herptids, not to mention draconequi. The 6th Rebellion must be the Black Rose Affair. Only thing it could be, really. Something in Terrato's choices went contrary to the Will of the Crown.
And here we have the Elements mentioned for the first time in seeming months! Or, mentioned as a group, anyway. Lexario and the Queen, along with Terrato's inner musings, don't count. I'm glad they were able to heal their rifts before the situation became even more dire.
Two situations that could bring Luna with that warning: Either Black Rose has sent her soldiers to attack Celestia, or Celestia has raised an army against Terrato and Luna was caught in the crossfire as she escaped to warn her favorite brother. Judging by what happened to Fancypants, I'll go with the first one. But it'll keep until tomorrow. It's late.
Two more officers for Black Rose? I'm calling it right now: Trixie. 
And for the other: somepony to cause even more heartsickness. I would say she'd try for Big Macintosh, but how willing do the Subjects have to be? Perhaps Twocolt would be a suitable candidate?
The Mane Six need to bolster their friendship once again, though there's more space between them this time around. It'll take some Doing. But Applejack will be the linchpin.
Celestia will have to be protected until they can get her power back. Maybe they can use that same mana battery trick? Or perhaps appeal to the justice of the Eternal Herd through the Ignis Equi?
Whatever happens, the journey is far from over for our faithful Chosen.
Well, I finally finished it. I'll be Tracking you from now on, and I'm eager to see where you take Things.
PHEW! Quite the marathon I submitted myself to. Finished this in 2 days. I could've gone faster, but hey, this is the internet. I have like 50 tabs open at once. 
Best story I've read in quite a while. I kept tossing it aside because of the grimdark tag and the art I got a glimpse of (the one with AJ lying on a hospital bed, with RD crying her eyes out). Boy am I glad I gave it a fair chance. The world you created just blows my mind. I tried to guess what would happen next or where the story was going, but every 5 chapter or so you proved me wrong. Every single time. I did manage to point out the major plot points that would happen by the end of it though. 
Celestia is one of my favorite characters. THAT BEING SAID. You managed to make me hate her guts beyond belief. I tried to understand her thought process, I really did, but she acted like a 12 year old foal would, not like an immortal ruler. Buuuuuuuut I guess that part was essential to the flow of the story. I like how it all turned out though.
Oh, by the way, I cried like a little girl after that one major battle. You know which one. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. 
>>493525 Replying to a 7 week old comment. That's about as crazy as Oatmeal.
I feel sorry for you son, having to wait this long to read this awesomeness. As a parting gift, I give you this.
If you're having adventuring problems, I feel bad for you son. I dodged ninety-nine arrows but my knee took one.
>>557512 i know rite!!!
i sugesed that he uploaded the story on this site... now its easy to keep up and there are pll who dont look on EQD sugh a shame... but its getting way more fiews this way... and thats how it suposed to be... ^^ now i look a few times a day if it has a update... nice you like it *bro hoove!* /)*
Alas, the length of your story has caused me peruse it and read it I did!
I quite enjoyed it towards the end and anticipate the completion of your sequel.
I read the story in Word 2010 with Arial and size 11
the following typos are marked off according to the page I was on when I read them:
[directly after being banished] “The wolven were a good thirty feet or so when they spotted Twilight and her friends.”
[500] “Her protest was completely driven her head”
[539] “starts”
[663] “aptian”
[746] “those strange set”
[852] “us laugh as staggers”
[854] “that look like she”
I hope that my reporting these of these typos doesn't annoy you :)
Applejack found Twocolt right next to her with his back against a rampart. A trickle of blood dripped from his right shoulder right where a gap between the plates of barding was. "You're bleeding!" she said.
"Lucky wolven slipped in a swipe before I knocked him off his ladder," Twocolt grunted.
Better line:
"I ain't got time ta bleed," Twocolt grunted.
"He realized how fortunate he was now that the Elements of Harmony had come to the Barrier Lands. He would have to rely on them."
Yeah, except that they don't have the ACTUAL ELEMENTS WITH THEM!!!
EDIT:
Oh, and first
Ow great now, is gonna do something ballsy to impress Rabbit and get her medal, she's probably going to get hurt too.
, the rest of us have moved onto the sequel 
I read this one on fanfiction.net and now its here?!
Image: http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/the-mask-gif.gif
Actually, if you think about it, AJ already is being less honest by this point. It's all there in RD's parting shot--AJ is effectively lying to herself about adapting to the harshness of the Barrier Lands. She IS adapting, and she's aware of it on some level, but she's clearly trying to convince herself and everypony else that she's the same as she ever was.
but i'm gunna love it ^^
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