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  • T The Definition of Strength

    Sabra has been searching for his answer for three long years, and at long last he may have found it. It just might not be the answer he expects.
    26,557 words · 2,238 views  ·  161  ·  0
  • T Why Me?

    It's been four days since Tirek, and Discord is finally feeling back to being his old self. Or is he?
    7,287 words · 3,244 views  ·  506  ·  8
  • E Old Habits

    It's Nova's first official day off, and he's decided to spend it in one place he knows he can relax: the Canterlot Bazaar. But when he has an unexpected encounter with a face from his past, can he face the pony he once was?
    19,698 words · 819 views  ·  159  ·  1
  • T Carry On

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do isn't completing the mission, it's coming home again. For Dusk Guard member Sky Bolt, the mission was a complete success. Everything went perfectly. So why can't she sleep?
    18,257 words · 1,097 views  ·  187  ·  2
  • E Hearth's Warming Cookies

    It's Hearth's Warming season and that means presents, caroling and—of course—making Hearth's Warming Cookies. But just what makes the cookies so important, anyway? Young Jammer Song is about to find out....
    7,054 words · 527 views  ·  92  ·  0
  • T Emoticon

    It's Steel Song's day off, and he's got plans. Plans of the relaxed sort. Plans that most definitely do not involve a strange, brown earth pony who acts like he's known Steel for years. And why is he running, anyway?
    10,199 words · 757 views  ·  139  ·  2

Blog Posts205

  • 2w, 5d
    Off the Grid I Go!

    All right guys, this is it! I've been able to log in with my phone whilst away in Alaska to keep somewhat up to date, but today, I board the mighty fishing vessel I'm currently beholden to and head for the fishing grounds! Which means, sadly, that I will be off the grid for at least two to three weeks.


    But that's okay! It's a good off the grid. Because while I'll be away, I'm going to be doing a lot of grunt work, which means I've got plenty of time to think. And think. And plot, and pace...

    In other words, when I get back I'll have a wealth of new story content to offer. Hunter's side story and Dawn's (at long last) to start, but Colony is almost done with its first draft, and once that's off to the alpha readers, the staggered work I've done on "Beyond the Borderlands" can go to full-time project in earnest. I'm still hoping for a near-Christmas release, but no promises. That means it could be sooner but it could be later. I'm cutting no corners with this.

    Anyway, the original point of this was that I'll be back soon, and with lots of brainstorming done for the next few things coming after "Borderlands" and Colony. Like "Hunter/Hunted." Or Shadow of an Empire and The Phoenix. And, of course, lots of blog post topics!

    All right, I need to go grab my gear and get underway to board our mighty vessel. It's time to face the fierce fall elements of Alaska, and catch those shrimp!

    5 comments · 69 views
  • 4w, 6d
    Being a Better Writer: What's a Memorable Scene?

    Welcome back for today's Being a Better Writer post. Hopefully it's a good one, because it's going to be the last one for a little while. Starting this Wednesday, I'll be off to Alaska for work, and shall effectively (and sadly) become a bit of an internet recluse, since it'll be both tricky to get online (I won't be able to at all during the season, and beforehand I'll be working quite a bit.

    Today's post is a bit more nebulous topic, and so I'm going to try and approach it in a bit more relaxed manner. Rather than moving from point to point, or even prepping more than the initial idea beforehand, I'm just going to talk about it and see where things go. Partially because I feel like being a bit more relaxed today, partially because I want to see how well this works, and lastly because the topic itself can be a little nebulous.

    So, what does make a memorable scene? And here's where we run into a few differences, right with the first answer. Because to me, what makes a scene memorable is something important happening. But that might not be the same answer that others give. In fact, others might give a completely different assessment of what makes a scene memorable. Perhaps it has to do with the main characters. Perhaps it's the final battle, the most energetic portion of the story. Even upon thinking about it, my own answer that it is something important doesn't exactly hold a sum total, because there's a secondary element to consider, in that it be interesting. For me, these are two things that I put into my mind when I'm writing: What's important about this scene? And is it interesting?


    But that probably isn't what's going through other writers or readers heads when they do their own scenes. They might be going for clever dialogue. Or maybe even a funny joke.

    So why when I'm asked what makes a memorable scene, do I think of importance and interest? I think part of it comes from what I'm looking at as a writer. The last thing that I want my reader to do is be forced to slog through things that aren't important. Look, let's be honest, anyone with half a decent talent for prose can sit down and write a lovely several thousand word piece on a character's experience of cleaning a kitchen. Sliding the washrag across the counter, doing the dishes, cleaning the windows, putting things away ... this can be done pretty easily.

    But what does it mean? What reason does the reader have to read about such an event? Let's face it, we've all had our characters do tiny little things like take a drink from a glass, and those little bits of flavor add to the story, but they're like bacon bits. Tasty, but short-lived and not that good on their own. And if you make a whole chunk of a story about someone cleaning their kitchen, unless it serves a purpose, unless it's important to the story somehow, well then it's little more than a whole bowl of bacon bits. The writing is good, yes, but there isn't anything important going on.

    Clearly context has a bit to do with this. A story about action, adventure, and high-daring escapes really drags when a character spends their day in a kitchen doing nothing relevant to the story. You see this problem in a lot of places, both on FimFiction and in published books from lesser-known authors. They've put the character in a situation, and then they write about it without stopping to consider whether or not there would be any reason to do so.

    Importance. Spending five-thousand words of prose on a scene that contains nothing of importance might still lead to a well-written scene, but the reader isn't going to find it memorable. You have to consider how important it is to the story. What will it convey? What will it do for the reader? Is it moving the plot ahead (aside from just burning time)? Is it delivering the reader interesting elements and anecdotes?

    For me, usually considering the importance of the scene, combined with the characters I then turn loose in it, tends to make the scene memorable enough. Because if I combine anything of importance with characters that are going to bounce off and around it, I can usually trust on those characters to make the scene memorable in various ways. For example, Steel Song in a kitchen is going to be pretty utilitarian—and by extension, not interesting—unless he's interacting with Cappy or his niece and nephew. But even by taking those characters out of the equation, having Steel ruminate on their absence can be a way to keep the scene interesting as well (though it should also be important in some way). Likewise, writing a chapter about Ditzy Doo cleaning up her kitchen could be really boring and not at all memorable if simply approached in a very flat manner, but if the author uses it to show the meaning about Dtizy through her thoughts and actions, such as thinking about the rapid-cooking that led to unwashed dishes she did so that she and her daughter wouldn't be late to a play while doing them, or about the fun she and Dinky had making a desert that led to the mess she's cleaning up.

    Man, this is such a tricky question. Let's see, what about a scene that doesn't really seem that exciting, but is important? After all, plenty of foreshadowing in books often happens during what most of us would consider day to day activities. How do we get our readers to remember some important detail from a scene that's less than exciting or doesn't seem important (and how do you keep them from getting bored)?

    A lot of that goes back to one of my earlier posts on misdirection. Basically, you can conceal information that is important by hiding in with other interesting things. For example, Harry Potter pulled double duty with this in one book by having what would have only been a marginally important scene (a dinner party) serve as foreshadowing for the room of requirement. But to keep it from being dull (and to make it memorable for the reader), Rowling used Dumbledore as the vehicle for the foreshadowing as they group discussed unusual stories of their experiences at Hogwarts. The audience gets a plethora of funny events (which keeps them interested), topped by Dumbledore's special mention of a "magic bathroom" that serves as the capstone story to the scene. The reader laughs, remembers that last story (which becomes relevant later) and enjoys what would otherwise have been a bunch of characters sitting around talking.

    Earlier I mentioned context, and I think I should get back to that. Context means a lot for your story. An action scene can be memorable. A character breaking character for a big reason can be memorable. A well-timed joke (like Dumbledore's funny story) can cement the scene in the reader's mind. A clever finish to a scene, something unexpected.

    Each of these are things that can in one case make a scene memorable, but in another, can break it (or worse, make it memorable for all the wrong reasons). A lot of it comes down to what story you want to write, what story you want to tell, and what elements you've put into your work. A true horror story, for example, isn't likely to try and make it's scenes memorable with constant pop-culture references and fourth-wall winks. It's going to try and make scenes that are tense. Terrifying. Nightmarish. Or perhaps shocking. In Monster Hunter Alpha, one of the most memorable scenes in the entire book is one in which the main character takes an industrial-strength snowblower—the kind that can eat small trees—up against a horde of zombie werewolves. The end result is one of the bloodiest things in the entire series, to a point of near absurdity that even the characters comment on. It's memorable precisely because it's so absurd ... but also because it is a great solution for the problem, and fits right into the series blend of ridiculous over-the-top action and dark humor.

    It's not something you'd see in Harry Potter, although that does make an amusing thought ("Harry Potter, tonight you—arrgh!"). My point is, keep your context in mind when thinking about what will make your scene important and interesting.

    Another thing to keep in mind is what sort of readers you're appealing to with your story. A reader who likes nothing but straight hollywood action, for example, isn't at all going to find a slice-of-life story interesting. Putting a single chapter of it into a story for that kind of reader is pushing it. Likewise, a reader who lives for complex, spiderweb plots and stories where there are wheels within wheels is probably not going to enjoy a very straightforward, simple mystery where everything is just as it appears. And versa-vice with a switch of the situation.

    We tend to acknowledge this (at least, usually) when considering what we or others like to read, but as writers, we can't forget that the same rules apply. Context of what kind of story you're telling and for who can change quite a bit about making a scene memorable or interesting.

    One more thought—at least at this moment—concerning having a memorable scene, and even more importantly, and ending. No matter what the scene is like, the best way to make sure that your reader remembers it is to make it relevant. A reader who understands that he can drift through the story without paying close attention isn't going to bother remembering details of scene or story. If you make scenes relevant, give them weight, where what happens and what is said has recurring effects on the story as a whole, it becomes memorable, because your reader quickly learns that they need to remember why a scene is important.

    As a side note, this is one more reason I despise flashbacks 90% of the time. Because writers use them not to present new information to their reader, but to re-explain and retread information that was already discussed, taking the decision away from the reader as to whether or not to remember information and scenes (and therefore making them less memorable). Even more grievous, I'm pretty certain that this feeds back to the writer as well and lulls them into a false state where they themselves stop considering the importance of what they present. After all, for both parties, why bother remembering or picking out anything important when it'll be handed to them in a silver platter later?

    Anyway, getting back to where that side note took off, the more events of the story mean, the more weight they have, the more a reader will remember them and the more important each scene will feel in relation to the core of the story and the end. To use an earlier example from Rowling, the Dumbledore toilet story still probably wasn't memorable to some readers. However, once Harry has found the room of requirement and he as a character makes the single-line connection between the two, the reader's attention is drawn back to it and the scene is given greater importance in the dialog as a whole.

    Hmm ... come to think of it, retroactive memorability (?) is something to consider as well. Not as a core point, because if an entire scene's worth of material only become relevant and interesting later, than it was probably boring at start, and we don't want that. But you can, through later elements of the story that come back to something in an earlier scene, make that scene more memorable (especially on a reread). For instance, the first time a reader reaches the scene in "Rise" where Steel plays with his niece and nephew only to find himself completely snared by a well-placed (and well-tied) jump-rope, the scene is cute and mostly serves to illustrate what Steel is like when he let's himself relax, as well as to counterpoint the relative loneliness and lack of family the rest of his life has. But only in the finale, when Steel uses the same snare concept on Radiant's gigantic golem, does the scene take on a new level of importance, and therefore, memorability to the reader. It was a foreshadowing, not that the reader knew it at the time. But when the result pays off at the end of the book, the reader is tied back. Even if they forgot it, on another read-through the scene will take on a whole new significance.

    All right, I think I'm starting to reach the end of my thoughts in this, at least for the moment. Which means it's probably a wise idea to summarize things. So, when making a scene memorable, remember that you need to give your reader a reason to remember it. So it'd better be important to the story somehow. It should also be interesting. Funny, unique, cool ... there should be something going on that makes your reader interested in what's happening. Keep in mind context of both the characters and scene, but also of the story overall.


    So, I think that's it for this post, which regrettably is the last one you'll see for a while. But before I go, what did you think? Not just on the subject (and I welcome all comments in that vein, but about the style? Was the "stream of consciousness" approach more helpful? Less helpful? Interesting?

    As usual, thanks for reading, and I look forward to doing this again ASAP!

    Edit: Tag's fixed, guys! My bad! Running a bit late today, so I didn't proof beforehand!

    3 comments · 155 views
  • 5w, 2d
    On True Beauty

    This is actually a repost from my facebook, but I felt that it was worth sharing here. It has little to do with writing, so if the topic does not interest you, I will not be bothered by this. But it's something that I felt I wanted to share.

    On Beauty:

    Hold on, because this is going to be a long post. Also, I'm going to save it as a note so it's not lost anytime soon (addendum: and repost on FimFic). But this is my belated, public response to a question a friend asked me some time ago. The question that prompted this, if I remember correctly, was: What is beauty to you?

    Now, what I'm going to say is probably going to shock some people. The question is a hotly debated one online, with people sharing photos of what they say beauty is, debates over where we should look for it, etc. Personally, I don't quite agree with any of them. This is why.

    Beauty is not one thing. To me, there are two components to what makes someone beautiful.


    The first (and some will dislike me for saying this) is the physical, outer component. Physical, outer beauty. Yes, it's real, and yes, we should admire it. Stop pretending it's bad. It's what we're going to see first. Be it long legs, short hair, rippling abs, green eyes  ... Whatever it is that physically attracts us to the person that's held in the physical realm. This is outer beauty, and it's a thing that's different for everyone. I like certain attributes of a physical quality and find them beautiful which another person will not. This is part of who we are.

    Now there's no "perfect" physical quality list that's the sum of perfection. There's just what each person looks like, and what each person finds physically attractive. But it's a real thing, and we need to look for it when we're looking for a relationship. We NEED to be physically attracted on some level. It's not wrong that someone single glances at someone else who is single and thinks "Great googa mooga, WOW!" before going slightly catatonic. Or even "Wow, that person is good looking!" before embarrassing themselves by trying to strike up a conversation while mentally stunned. This is the way we were made. There isn't anything wrong with the physical beauty.

    But there's a second, more powerful beauty, one that's hidden at first. The inner beauty, the one that you see in their eyes, in who they are and what they do. And you can't simply see this at first. That's why we need the physical beauty, to act as a bridge and then a foundation.

    As someone spends time with someone, as they start to see this inner beauty, the outer beauty to them, is affected. It's like an exponential polish—it can make all the most beautiful parts and and places known ... or it can draw the eye to all the flaws, either way showing you a persons true, ultimate beauty.

    The inner beauty is the more powerful, but slower, of the two. Inner beauty improves and builds upon outer beauty, making it more and more beautiful every day. A couple who love each other for the inner beauty don't see the flaws. They don't see that she's overweight now and he's incapable of benching his own weight anymore. In their own eyes, they ARE, because the inner beauty has polished that outer beauty to the point where the flaws aren't even seen by the couple, or important. Every bit of outer beauty is magnified by the inner beauty that they've taken the time to see. No matter what others say of the outer beauty, the FULL beauty is available to the one who sees both.

    Likewise, poor inner beauty has the same exponential effect. Poor inner beauty begins to draw attention to the flaws, lowers the outer beauty. An individual with poor, lackluster inner beauty, though they may have the most amazing physical qualities ever, will never have true beauty. No matter how they try, the more those around them see the lack of inner beauty, the less attractive that persons outer beauty will appear.

    In summation, you must have both, in some amount. Outer beauty is the foundation, the framework. But the inner beauty builds upon that, shapes it over time, and makes adds the polish that makes the outer beauty shine like the sun.


    Now, about us. As people today. I think part of the reason we're having so much trouble these days, finding so many problems and battling on public forums over beauty standards and what to look for is because both sides are partially right, and both sides are partially wrong. It takes both. Outer beauty AND inner beauty.

    Worse, we've forgotten what each one entails. Outer beauty is quick to see, heavily based on personal impressions and cultural upbringings. Inner beauty is individualized, subtle, and takes time to see. We've forgotten this. So many relationships go sour because people have mixed these two up, misinterpreted one for the other. People give up on someone after one date because they're forgetting that the inner beauty takes time to identify and see. They're impatient, unwilling to take the time. Or they want outer beauty, confusing it for the more powerful of the two.

    The truth is that we need to have both. We need to open our minds and remember that both exist. This does not mean that because you have great inner beauty you'll get the person you want. Inner beauty expands the outer beauty, not changes or covers it. If there is not outer attraction at all, then all the inner beauty will do is make you shine.

    Accept this. It's just the way we are. I KNOW there are women who do not find me attractive in the least. They want a whipcord/rail thin man. I am not that. I'm stocky, tank-like. All the inner beauty in the world that I can show them will not matter, because there is no foundation for it to build on.

    This is okay. I wouldn't want to force someone to find something that wasn't there. Someday, I'll find a woman who IS okay with a guy who's built like a concrete wall and has spastic view on life, who finds that attractive. And then, if she finds the inner beauty to her liking, and I likewise to both of her beauties, something amazing will happen.

    We need both. Don't rely on the outer as your sole means. You cannot strut your perfect figure and expect it to be everything. It will fade. It will age. Or you might be incredibly proud of a certain feature, only to find that the one who likes you (and you them) is attracted to something else entirely. In other words, you cannot rely on outer alone. It will never succeed.

    Likewise, you cannot simply rely on the inner beauty (And please, don't demand that people acknowledge you for inner beauty right away. That's saying more about your true inner beauty than you think, and it's not a positive message. Be patient there.). You must lay the foundation in some way. You don't need to be perfect. But you need to make your foundation there. Be proud of what you do have. And even if you don't feel beautiful now, wait for the one who starts to see the inner beauty.

    Because we need both. And whatever outer flaws you think you have, if you're inner beauty is great, it will sweep over all the outer flaws and decrease them in importance. This is why we have to give others the chance. Don't turn that person down if they're just "average" in your book. Wait. Get to know the inner beauty. If it isn't there, no harm. If it is, you'll find that what was there will grow all the more attractive and beautiful to you.

    And one last thing before I summarize. This is why friendships are so important. Not fake friendships (which are part of the controversial friend-zone), but REAL friendships. Friendships that involve trust. Camaraderie. Laughter. Sad times. Understanding. It's been said that the greatest relationships grow out of true friendship, and this is why. Because we learn to see the inner beauty, learn to see who someone truly is. False friendship, a temporary limited contact or respite, where one party or the other isn't putting forth their effort or limits the trust, cannot do this. So be friends. Men and women, amazingly enough, CAN be friends. Pop culture has driven this horrible, wrong idea that such things cannot happen without a relationship. Pop culture is wrong. We can be friends, great ones, and not ever be attracted to someone. And we should be. Even if we don't find love, let's be honest, we need true friends. We should stop being scared of them.

    And who knows, maybe we'll find our best friend in the process.

    But if we do, it'll be because we looked at both beauties. The outer, and the inner.

    So in your own day to day search for that other who will be the most important person in your life, don't forget either of these two. Don't discount them. Let them BOTH work. Figure out what attracts you about the outer beauty, what catches your eye, but then give the time for the inner beauty, the extension, the polish to truly shine. You might just surprise yourself with what you find.

    If you disagree with or where deeply, properly offended by any of this, well, I'm sorry (if only offended because you want to be offended, no apology. I don't care much in that case). If you like it, and want to share, feel free too share it with whomever you like.

    Who knows, maybe it'll help those of us out there who've forgotten what we really need to be looking for, what we really mean when we talk about beauty. Maybe it'll help add some context to what we really mean when we say "You're beautiful."

    This has been what beauty is to me. Thank you for your time.

    4 comments · 92 views
  • 5w, 2d
    All Right, So Here's the Schedule

    All right everyone, I'm throwing up my schedule so you guys know what to expect and about when. Here's the big news:

    Starting next week, I will be in Alaska getting ready for the shrimp season. I will only have guest access on what basically amounts to a library computer. So next weeks blog guide will be the last one for a while. Possibly four weeks. Shrimp season is somewhat malleable, so I can't give a solid time on when I'll be back. I'd expect before the end of October, which is usually when I'm free. Regardless, this is the schedule I'm going to try to stick to:


    Next Monday: The last "Being a Better Writer" guide until I get back.

    Shrimp Season.

    End of October: Return. start posting "Remembrance." Also, the Dusk Guard Group Banner Contest ends! Be sure to get your entry in before then!

    Finish Colony. Once Colony's first draft is done, "Beyond the Borderlands," the sequel to "The Dusk Guard: Rise, "becomes my full time project. I can't say how long it will take me to finish it, but I'd guess about 2 months. During this time, the last side story (Dawn's) will go up as well.

    Finish "Beyond the Borderlands" and start posting it to FimFic. Watch it take FimFiction by storm, start working on next novel, also on another side-story and "Hunter/Hunted."

    These are my plans through the end of the year. With luck, we'll see "Beyond the Borderlands" start releasing sometime in December, maybe even around Christmas! And Colony probably around the end of this year/beginning of next year. Kind of depends on the editor.

    Anyway, just updating all you guys so you know what's coming. Sorry I didn't get "Remembrance" done before leaving, but I wanted to give it the time it needed to be released and I STILL need to get a cover commissioned for it. After the shrimp season I can give it the attention it deserves.

    You guys are awesome, hope the slight delay isn't driving you all nuts!

    And yeah, the idea of a December release for "Beyond the Borderlands" is probably pretty good news.

    3 comments · 77 views
  • 5w, 3d
    Just a Quick, Fun Share

    So I'm flipping through my facebook feed while not writing (bad author!) and I stumble across this.

    After I got done laughing, I decided that someone on The Onion definitely must have run across FimFic's various review groups and their standards at some point, because this article pretty much takes how they hold various styles of English they all hold sacrosanct and brings it to it's logical conclusion.

    Literati gang violence? The Onion most certainly paints a dark future for all of FimFiction, doesn't it? The time to prepare is upon us. I shall arm myself with verb-grenades and noun-rifles, and stockpile my bunker with "impure" literature such as Harry Potter and The Icarus Hunt to subsist upon. When the violence erupts, I'll be sheltered behind the thick, concrete and steel walls of analogy, protected from the inkshed above me. And at last, when the various factions have destroyed themselves in futile flame wars, the dead moved on to the Valhalla's of 4Chan or r/writing, I shall emerge from my refuge with my freedom and sanity intact, to write once more and rebuild the shattered webscape.

    Hope you're all having a fun afternoon! :pinkiesmile:

    3 comments · 88 views
  • ...
 607
 3,398

Steel Song is a lot of things. Earth pony. Uncle. Professional bodyguard.

Retired.

So when he receives a mysterious package from Princess Luna a few weeks after the changeling invasion, he's understandably apprehensive. More-so when he presents himself before the Royal Diarchs to find that not only do they desire him to come out of retirement, but to take command of a most unusual position...

A position that may have more significance than any of them suspect. Because strange thefts are occurring on the Equestrian Railway, thefts that nopony can explain. Thefts that may have far more sinister intentions than their seemingly innocent nature may convey.

Intentions sinister enough to shift the balance of power in Equestria forever.

Book I of The Dusk Guard Saga.

Epic Fantasy

Has a collection of Side Stories as well, the first of which is here.

Now with a TV Tropes page!

"This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!"

Added to Twilight's Library 11/26/2013

Added to Canterlot's Finest 12/01/2013

First Published
3rd May 2013
Last Modified
7th Sep 2013
#1 · 76w, 2d ago · 2 · · Assembly - Prologue ·

Nice, excellent dialogue.  Its hard to tell where this story could go.  Lots of potential direction with no clear villain as of yet. I very interested to see where this goes.

#2 · 76w, 2d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 1 ·

>>2522743

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it so far!

#4 · 75w, 5d ago · 1 · · Assembly - Chapter 3 ·

>>2544416

I'm hoping that's popcorn of approval!

Then again, with those glasses, void popcorn.

#5 · 74w, 5d ago · 2 · · Assembly - Chapter 5 ·

Awww, poor Cappy.  Really enjoying the story so far, looking forward to seeing where you will take it.

#6 · 74w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 5 ·

>>2579439

Thanks, glad you're enjoying it!

#7 · 74w, 4d ago · 3 · · Assembly - Prologue ·

Wow amazing fanfic. Luna is my favorite pony and I believe that you did a good job at portraying her. A beautiful job well done here! Full marks in MY book!

#8 · 74w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 5 ·

>>2582048

Thanks for the praise! I'm glad you enjoy her character, as she's a very difficult one to write. Hopefully you continue to enjoy her appearances ahead!

#9 · 73w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 4 ·

Angel the bunny. He's more Angelus than angel :)

#10 · 73w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 7 ·

>>2612571

Yeah, it always made sense to me that most ponies around town would have a healthy respect/fear of Angel. And if you're working in a forest that he probably frequents, well...

#11 · 73w, 4d ago · 6 · · Assembly - Chapter 5 ·

Old stallion you are missing a golden chance. She does not see  you as a old pony.

#12 · 72w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

You should put this in a few more groups man! There are at least six more places you could pop this in at.

#13 · 72w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

>>2644702

Wait, really, which ones? I browsed through, but only found the four.

#14 · 72w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

>>2644711

Well there's the OC group, the self promotion bureau, a fantasy group, uuuuh, I'm sure there are a few others at least. o.O Just make sure you spread out addin your story to multiple groups. Ticks less people off.

#15 · 72w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

>>2644767

Enacting. Lets see what I can get!

#16 · 72w, 3d ago · 1 · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

>>2644823 cage the elephant is awesome!

#17 · 72w, 2d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 10 ·

>>2614247

Yeah, Steel's really shooting himself in the hoof when it comes to Cappy.

>>2652329

That twangey beat was just perfect for Nova's character. That was the first theme I decided on.

#19 · 71w, 5d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

I like the chapter it was light and showed some team bonding. There were secrets revealed, setting for overall plot and humor at another pony's expense. You did good

#20 · 71w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

>>2678182

Glad you enjoyed it. If you like the team playing off one another, then you'll probably really enjoy part two. Rise is as much about the creation of the Dusk Guard as it is about their first foe, and in another few chapters we'll be into the next part.

I will say this though, the setting and the plot may feel like they're finally coming together here, but when we get into the later chapters, most will find themselves thinking back to things from even the first few chapters and saying "Wait! You mean that was ... oh dang!" There are a lot of seemingly innocuous throwaway lines that will later turn out to be very important clues. Watching the pre-readers head's explode (their words, not mine) was quite enjoyable.

There's a pretty complicated spiderweb here. It might feel a little slow at first, but that's just all the pieces being carefully set up.

#21 · 71w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

>>2680092 Oh trust me I know about plot twists. Two things; you said that the story is 260000 words long. Does that mean you've written it already? and if you're having spiderweb problems I know this guy that operates out of New York that likes to dress up in red and blue spandex while cracking bad jokes that could help you out

#22 · 71w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

>>2680490

Yes, TDG:R is already completed in it's entirety. And there will be about four more books following the various characters and a larger overall arc after that, although each will be standalone  (none of these are completed, although work on the second book will begin after I get my next novel out). This has been in the works for a while.

And no spiderweb issues, that guy has enough of his own problems anyway.

#23 · 71w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

Really digging this story now.  Love all the little details you are throwing in. keep it up!

#24 · 71w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Chapter 12 ·

>>2680764

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it! Got a favorite character so far?

EDIT: Had a double. Gone.

Comment posted by Viking ZX deleted at 8:06pm on the 5th of June, 2013
#26 · 70w, 6d ago · 3 · · Assembly - Chapter 13 ·

Why the bloody hell doesn't this have more views yet?

#27 · 70w, 6d ago · 1 · · Assembly - Chapter 13 ·

>>2705168

Luck of the draw my friend. And it doesn't help that it's starring OCs, and most readers tend to avoid OC stories as I understand it. I'm confident that as time moves on, the growth of viewers and readers will continue to accelerate. If you'd like to help though, feel free to! :pinkiesmile:

I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! I aim to please!

EDIT: And if you don't have a keen eye, the beginning is a little slow (even I'll admit that). If you pay attention it ramps up pretty quick, but being the type of fic it is it can take a bit for people to catch on to everything.

#28 · 70w, 4d ago · 2 · · Training - Prologue ·

Alright a new part begins. Now have a mustache:moustache:

#29 · 70w, 4d ago · · · Training - Chapter 1 ·

You're doing a great job with your story, great dialogues and a solid story, I'll read it thoroughly whenever I have time.

I hope you get more recognition in the future.

#30 · 70w, 4d ago · · · Training - Chapter 1 ·

>>2714478

Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it! :pinkiehappy:

I hope you find the time to keep up with it! Don't feel rushed though, it'll be here waiting!

#31 · 70w, 4d ago · · · Assembly - Prologue ·

Favorited, can't wait to continue.

#32 · 70w, 4d ago · 1 · · Assembly - Chapter 3 ·

I like how you said Celestai's personel choice was improsened without actually saying so, very well played. :moustache:

#33 · 70w, 4d ago · · · Training - Chapter 1 ·

I agree with Einzel the story is solid the dialogue is consistent and well written, and the characters are elevale. It was a very down to earth chapter that makes the story more realistic and makes the reader able to relate to the story better. i mean et a ton of people have een set p on lnd dates y fr[/]ends. am an ncle myself and love seeng my nece and nephew when they come to vst. Everyone has dealt wth paperwork at one pont or another n ther lfetme and t's annoyng. So really ths was a relaxng and fn chapter to read   :pinkiehappy::moustache::moustache:

#34 · 70w, 4d ago · 3 · · Assembly - Chapter 4 ·

His accent is very natural sounding. I started reading him as Steve Erwin as soon as I met him. Well done

#35 · 70w, 4d ago · · · Training - Chapter 1 ·

>>2715236

>>2715191

I'm glad you're enjoying them. As important as all the plot was, I tried my hardest to make characters that felt real. By the end of this fic, they were friends, and I hope all my readers end up feeling the same way.

His accent is very natural sounding. I started reading him as Steve Erwin as soon as I met him. Well done

Thanks. And if you read the comments there, he was supposed to be kind of Texan. But he had his own ideas. :rainbowlaugh:

#36 · 70w, 2d ago · 3 · · Training - Chapter 2 ·

If the design is layering crystals, Skybolt is getting very close to what they do with semiconductors in Intergrated chips ( IC's).

#37 · 69w, 5d ago · · · Training - Chapter 3 ·

Errrmmmm... I honestly didn't see that coming. I wonder who the keys free... The Dusk guard and the crystal empire, what an interesting idea.:moustache:

#38 · 69w, 5d ago · · · Training - Chapter 3 ·

>>2742878

The real trick is figuring out how this puzzle piece fits in with all of the others so far. :raritywink:

#39 · 69w, 5d ago · · · Training - Chapter 3 ·

cool beans

#40 · 69w, 2d ago · · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

Bravo! I much enjoyed this chapter, it reminds me of gym class.

#41 · 69w, 2d ago · · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

>>2759500

Glad you're enjoying it!

#42 · 69w, 1d ago · · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

>>2759754 Capture the flag is one of my favorite games in gym.

#43 · 68w, 6d ago · 1 · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

good story

#44 · 68w, 6d ago · · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

>>2772755

Glad you've found it, hope you continue to enjoy it!

#45 · 68w, 6d ago · 1 · · Training - Chapter 4 ·

HOORI SHEET. I have never seen anything this long before in terms of FanFiction before. My own story is dwarfed in comparison, even by the first act. I must certainly devote a few hours of my time to read this later. Perhaps I can pick up a few skills for writing my own novel, eh?...

Like I'm ever gonna finish that. But still! Excited! :raritystarry:

#46 · 68w, 5d ago · 1 · · Training - Chapter 5 ·

Had to look back at second chapter to realised what Steel meant when he said he almost missed what Luna meant.  

#47 · 68w, 5d ago · 1 · · Training - Chapter 5 ·

Well done. I found it particually amusing becuase CTF is one of my favorite games. Can't wait to see Nova's deep dark secret.

#48 · 68w, 5d ago · · · Training - Chapter 5 ·

>>2777471

*In Mr. Torgue's Voice*

FORESHADOWING!

>>2777710

:pinkiehappy:

#49 · 68w, 1d ago · 1 · · Training - Chapter 6 ·

That sister is a SPY! Or erm, changeling... Or she's really TO'd at Steel for ... ? I actually have no idea...

The plot thickens...

#50 · 68w, 1d ago · · · Training - Chapter 6 ·

Well, two things. 1) is his sister sapphire shores? And 2) she was talking about cappy wasn't she.

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