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  • T The Definition of Strength

    Sabra has been searching for his answer for three long years, and at long last he may have found it. It just might not be the answer he expects.
    26,557 words · 2,409 views  ·  167  ·  0
  • T Why Me?

    It's been four days since Tirek, and Discord is finally feeling back to being his old self. Or is he?
    7,287 words · 3,370 views  ·  517  ·  8
  • E Old Habits

    It's Nova's first official day off, and he's decided to spend it in one place he knows he can relax: the Canterlot Bazaar. But when he has an unexpected encounter with a face from his past, can he face the pony he once was?
    19,698 words · 853 views  ·  166  ·  1
  • T Carry On

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do isn't completing the mission, it's coming home again. For Dusk Guard member Sky Bolt, the mission was a complete success. Everything went perfectly. So why can't she sleep?
    18,257 words · 1,140 views  ·  194  ·  2
  • E Hearth's Warming Cookies

    It's Hearth's Warming season and that means presents, caroling and—of course—making Hearth's Warming Cookies. But just what makes the cookies so important, anyway? Young Jammer Song is about to find out....
    7,054 words · 555 views  ·  95  ·  0
  • T Emoticon

    It's Steel Song's day off, and he's got plans. Plans of the relaxed sort. Plans that most definitely do not involve a strange, brown earth pony who acts like he's known Steel for years. And why is he running, anyway?
    10,199 words · 795 views  ·  143  ·  2

Blog Posts215

  • Wednesday
    Tales from the Borderlands

    Make no mistake. I love Borderlands. I put a decent smattering of time into the first one and had a good time, but when the second game launched, I was in heaven. Shoot, shoot, shoot, loot, loot, shoot, laugh, loot, party. Repeat. There's just something that grabs me about that formula.

    Oh, and about the humor. See, Borderlands is hilarious. It's the kind of game that either tickles your funny bone or doesn't, but for me it's one of those games where the sheer surreal nature of its ultra violent atmosphere and planet, combined with its characters and everything else combine to make an appealing explosion of laughs. Except with the pre-sequel, which I haven't played, but seemed to miss the magic somehow.

    Yesterday came Tales from the Borderlands. Now, this isn't a review. Not really. It's more of a reaction. Which is this: Telltale has hit gold. Gold of the variety of "laugh so hard you miss dialogue." That kind of gold. If you like Telltale's point and click adventure offerings (such as The Walking Dead or The Wolf Among Us) but longed for something a bit lighter, a bit funnier ... Grab Tales from the Borderlands. I've seen a few reviews out there calling it Telltale's greatest success to date. I haven't played enough of Telltale's other stuff to know, but I can tell you this, Tales from the Borderlands pulled several hours out of me yesterday. It's solid. Very solid.

    i said the Pre-Sequel didn't really look like it had the magic. Tales does. It captures the attitudes, the style, and the source perfectly, and then wraps it up in a nice madcap story that's a mix of the old west and "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I haven't laughed so hard at a game in a while.

    Oh, and uh, Colony's almost done guys. So there is a bit of news with this. Then, I can finally get "Beyond the Borderlands" finished. And no, "Beyond the Borderlands" doesn't have anything to do with the Borderlands series. Well, except maybe with a few themes, but that's kind of common with storytelling, isn't it?

    Happy Thanksgiving all!

    6 comments · 46 views
  • Monday
    Sick Day Post

    Well, I'm still sick. Which is kind of ... wow. Whatever this is, I've had it for just over a week now, which is ridiculously long. It kind of reminds me of Bronchitis, except not as nasty. Then again, the last time I had Bronchitis I happened to have Strep Throat at the same time, which led me to coughing so hard I blacked out.

    Yeah, that wasn't fun. Regardless, whatever I've got now is pretty stubborn, but it's not that bad. And thanks to some Nyquil I was finally able to get some good, solid sleep last night. But, I'm still sick. I'm not entirely better yet. And so today I'm putting off the weekly writing guide post. Sorry guys.


    But all is not lost! See, I actually need some new topics anyway. Right now I'm down to four:

    Pacing

    Killing Characters

    Developing Villains

    What was done right with Guardians of the Galaxy Hint, it's a lot.

    That last one will have spoiler issues, obviously. So if you somehow haven't seen Guardians yet (for shame!) then either skip that one when it arrives or be prepared to have one of the better movies out there this year spoiled.

    But that's only four current topics. Which means I need to expand my list once more. So if you've got something about writing you'd like to me to discuss at some point, post it in the comments! I'm now open for suggestions!

    And lastly, last week I mentioned to some of you that the newest chapter of Arad's "Mente Materia," a bonus chapter detailing the post-crossover story's aftereffects in-universe, probably seemed a bit familiar to most of you. And some of you immediately called it. I wrote it. It was a guest chapter. Arad and I worked out a few details it could and couldn't cover and then I put the chapter together. As for why it wasn't credited, well, Arad and I decided not to credit for a week or so, to see what kind of reaction was had—and to see what a few specific fans would say. Because there's been a few readers of Arad's stuff that wouldn't stop slamming my stuff every time it came up, complete with commentary about how terrible a writer I was compared to Arad and how he shouldn't be bothering promoting my stuff. So I suggested we pull a switcheroo and see if those few readers could put their money where their large mouths were. Plus, it'd be fun to write some fanfic not so tightly steeped in Dusk Guard lore (it was very relaxing to be able to not have to worry about my spiderweb for once).

    Anyway, end result? Those few readers couldn't tell the difference. Don't mess with authors, people. We've got tools at our disposal for striking back. :scootangel:

    Anyway, onto the week! It's time to bundle up and kick this cough OUT!

    5 comments · 53 views
  • 6d, 2h
    Sick Week

    So, what's new?

    Don't get sick, that's what. I managed to pick up a sore throat that messed up my voice and then turned into a cough that was not only keeping me up till the wee hours of the morning, it was giving me a nice headache and bit of grogginess that made work all but impossible for a day or two. So I'm about 12,000 words behind on my quota. I basically almost lost a week. Boo.

    On the plus side, a new Smash Brothers came out, and I did manage to use the sick time not only to do some worldbuilding for Shadow of an Empire, but to get the last bit of editing done for both for "Remembrance" and ... well, I'm still working on a title for Dawn's side story. Anyway, point is they're BOTH going up soon. All I need now are the covers. As soon as I get those, we'll have a release date. Which will be pretty cool, because I'll be releasing BOTH stories simultaneously, and then uploading the chapters according to a timetable. I'm trying something a little new since both of them take place at the same time. Maybe I can grab two feature box spots at once!

    Anyway, just a quick update. Trying not to cough up my lungs. Sound like I'm going through puberty again. Enjoying the new Smash brothers.

    Oh, and in case you missed it, the newest bonus chapter of Arad's "Mente Materia" is out, and it might seem a little ... familiar to you guys.

    8 comments · 47 views
  • 1w, 2d
    Being a Better Writer: Character Descriptions

    Late update today. I'm battling a sore throat, so I'm trying give myself the sleep I need to drive it back. My voice sounds weird right now.

    Anyway, today's topic inspired was by a bit of a firestorm I saw with regards to a story that someone had written. And while the firestorm in question will definitely not be the subject of today's post, nor do I wish to get into that as it is an entirely separate topic, today's topic will brush up against it for a brief moment.

    Today, I'm going to talk about character descriptions.


    Character descriptions are something that every new writer struggles with, and often many somewhat experienced writers as well. Because when we get right down to it, character descriptions fall into one of those writing areas where no one teaches you how to do it, and everyone assumes that it's fairly straightforward and to the point. "You shouldn't need to be taught about this," the public mindset seems to say. "How hard can it be? You just describe your character!"

    Well, as it turns out, and as most new writers discover when they put their pencil to paper for the first time, describing your characters is much more difficult than it appears. It's hard. Many writers, in a fit of panic (or without realizing it), will simply throw out a narrated description of basic looks—eye color, hair, figure, etc—and then just jump right into the story, without realizing how jarring and unappealing to the reader such a description is. Only upon going back do most of them realize how truly unappealing it is for a story to start off with "Bob was asian, five-foot-three-inches, with brown hair and brown eyes ... etc, etc." Only when they do realize how unappealing it is does the real panic set in, when they realize that they have no idea how to do any differently.

    Which is why I'm talking about this today. Because to many readers, how you describe a character can be a make-or-break point for the entire book. Young writers don't quite realize how important something as simple as a character description can be to the readers acceptance of a work. Plenty a time has been the moment when a reader has picked up a book, read only a few paragraphs, run across a poor character description, and put the book back on the shelf. Why? Because even if they don't consciously realize it, a poor character description is often an indicator of other problems with the book, be they weakness of story, poor attention to detail, or just in general a low quality read.

    Yikes. Suddenly the amount and care for detail you put into your character description takes on a whole new level of importance, doesn't it? It might not just be something that's a nice part of your work, it's something that the very reading of your work may hinge upon.

    Kind of makes it important to get right.

    So, where do you start? How do you go about making sure that your character description is going to be something that keeps your reader flipping through your pages? Well, to start, you're going to need to know a few things about your work.

    Perspective and Voice

    First of all, what perspective is your book going to be using? You need to decide this and acknowledge it in your introduction of the character. Because trust me, very few things will make your reader put a book away like a narrative that jumps to an entirely different style or out of character to introduce someone. If you're going to write in first-person limited, you cannot jump to third person omniscient to introduce your character and then back (especially if you stay in character, with one very specific case exemption). It's horridly jarring.

    In other words, keep your introduction in perspective. This might seem obvious, but then again, I've seen numerous novice stories where the writers have made just this mistake without even realizing it. So first person stories stay first person with their character descriptions, and third-person stories stay in third person. Omniscient stays omniscient, limited stays limited. More on this in a bit when we get to the how.

    But before that, we also need to discuss voice. Voice is make-or-break with character description, though it matters more if your perspective is first person, as it's much more apparent. What is voice? Voice is how the character talks, speaks, and acts, and combined with perspective, breaking voice can be incredibly jarring to the reader. Let me show you want I mean through an example. Here we're going with a first-person, omniscient, direct perspective (ie, the character is telling you a story) and I'm going to give him a voice. Now let's watch what happens when I break that voice.

    It was a cold morning that morning, like most mornings were back then. Cold. Dark. Wet as a piss-poor boot on a rainy day. I still don't know why I bothered to get out of bed that morning. Maybe I was tired of rolling my face into that mildewed pillow over and over again. Maybe I though it'd be worth thinking about going to work. Or maybe I just wanted a nice, stiff, hot cup of coffee. Although in all likelihood, I'd only get one of those things. The local coffee shop was a right pisser when it came down to it: always busy, always getting your order wrong, and never happy to see you unless you were some well dressed posh boot-licker with a stick shoved up his backside. And that wasn't me.

    I'm nothing ordinary. I look very normal. I'm five-foot-two inches; so short. I have dark hair, usually unkempt, and I'm not particularly fit. I have blue eyes, a larger nose, and a bit of stubble around my strong jawline. I'm a bit on the thin side, and I'm usually listening to a pair of headphones.

    Ow, that actually took some work to force myself to write. But did you catch how jarring that was? We start off with this very well-defined voice, things are going great and then POW! The voice is gone. Instead we have bland, everyman description. We could have cut those details straight out of a character file and simply changed the perspective and tense to match the prior paragraph.

    And all I really did was change the voice. With the voice gone, the character's unique attitudes and perspectives either vanished or became flat. Would the one telling the story in the first paragraph have used the phrase "pair of headphones" or "a larger nose?" Not at all! He would have said something like "My nose has always been a bit on a ugly side, sort of like a squashed Mr. Potato Head has taken up residence on my face." Or something like that.

    While this may seem obvious, you'd probably be surprised how many new writers make this mistake, or worse, published writers. I've cringed at many a book (some of which were otherwise fine) where every time a new character came onto the scene the author would break perspective, character/narrator voice, or both when describing them. Crud, I've read one book (and this is a published, bestseller, more's the tragedy) where every new character completely broke perspective and voice, going from third-person limited to what was almost a direct, to-the-reader paragraph written by the author. It was bad. really bad. Then again, so was the rest of the book.

    So, keep perspective and voice in mind when it comes time to describe a character. Reread your descriptions later—out loud, if needed—to see if they flow with the rest of the story around it. If necessary, make changes. But of course, before you get started, here's something else to think about when it comes to character descriptions.

    Reason, Scene, and View

    Originally, view was going to be a different perspective form, but I figured that'd be too confusing. So we're going to go with Scene, View, and Reason. Because as important as perspective and voice is, there are other things to consider when introducing a character.

    Reason is the first thing you should consider. It's AMAZING how many authors mess this up, but let's think about this for a moment. Say your character is in a firefight. Things are exploding, the situation looks bleak—and suddenly a new character bursts onto the scene to save the day, midst gunfire and explosions. Now, how much reason at all does the main character have to give a detailed description of the character in question, considering they're trying not to die? Very little. And in such a scene, certain details are going to be much more important to the character than others.

    Even outside of limited perspective writing, don't make the mistake of thinking you can just drop all the details on the reader. Pacing (something I should do a post on later) is incredibly valuable. Dropping a full description of a character into the middle of a climactic scene? That pulls the reader out of the scene and ruins the pacing. So every time you think to describe a new character, don't hesitate to ask what reason you have for doing so in the first place, and what reason you have for writing the details that you do. Please, do not be the author who pulls us out of a story talking about the new female characters cup size and tight, slap-worthy behind. You'd better have a darn good reason for that aside from personal appeal.

    Even with your viewpoint character, you need reason. A lot of newbie writers just make the assumption that a character who's starring in the story should be described immediately, but that's not really true. How many of you wake up and then do a mental catalog of all your features? Maybe if you're a narcissist, or if you've got a reason to care about one particular aspect or feature for some reason, then yes, you'd think about it. But how many of you do a daily rundown?

    You don't. Reason. Sure, you can hand-wave it, but that pulls the reader out. Give your character a reason (such as the "looking in a mirror" character description trope. Or better yet, just let the description come naturally with the elements of the story.

    Now scene. I touched on that above, but I'll go a bit further here. Remember your scene and the context therein, not just with regards to emotion and events, but things in the room. It's a bit jarring for characters to react in random ways ith character descriptions that aren't contextually related to the scene around them. Use the scene to let your character's looks be known. For example, when Steel dunks his head in the water barrel at the beginning of Rise, the resulting splash and description of him cooling off also describes much of his body type and coloration, easing the reader into a natural picture of what he looked like (this was also something that a certain well-known fic site's pre-reader disliked to an incredible degree—they actually demanded I dump it and just start with a generic, straight description, one more reason I view them as about as competent as a bunch of kindergartners when it comes to fic work).

    Lastly, view. This is a subtext of voice, really. Basically, what it asks is that when you describe a character, make sure that you're doing it not just from the proper perspective, but with their view. What's important to the describer? What details would they notice that are both important to them and also useful to the reader? This can really flavor your book, your characters, and most often seems to become a stumbling point when a writer writes a gender aside from their own. I think we can all see where that goes.

    Point is, your character's viewpoints matter when describing someone. They might see things through a lens that isn't fully correct, or view motivations falsely. This is entirely fair, and we shouldn't be afraid to pull punches when this happens. Even if the reader disagrees with an observation a character makes, it tells them something about both characters.

    The Details Themselves

    All right, we've talked about everything else up to this point to set the stage. Now let's talk about the nitty-gritty specifics with all that other stuff in context.

    First of all, you don't need to describe everything. Remember the lessons above, but also take in this bit of wisdom: A perfectly visualized character often is not a perfectly described one. This is because like characters, we often remember and fixate on specific details rather than the whole. A mark of clever, experienced writing often is that when describing characters, the author will give you just enough specific details to get your attention, but let you fill in the rest of the details. Let us take Harry Potter, for instance. What specific details were we given about Snape? If you're like me and most readers, you remember that he was thin, gaunt perhaps, and that he had greasy hair and a greasy nose. JK Rowling didn't dump many other details (at least, not that I recall right away). She gave you just enough to envision him, and envision him you did.

    Stephen King is a master of this. Go ahead, reread one of his works and pay attention to the details he offers. They often aren't many, no more than three or four details that interestingly enough can paint a very broad picture. And yet when reading his books, readers praise the descriptive characters and how well they can envision them. Despite the fact that he's only giving you a few direct details.

    Tricky, tricky, Mr. King. You knew exactly what you were doing too. Giving the reader the details that were important to know or to visualize, and then letting all the other blanks just sort of fill themselves in.

    Perspective matters again here, as different characters will observe different things, and here's where we get to the elephant in the room: race.

    Unfortunately, race (in America) has become a sort of screwed up version of "The game." Basically, if you mention it, everyone loses.

    Uh-oh. It's sad, but true. There is literally no good way to tackle this that will please everyone. In a country where you can be publicly blasted for "not being (insert race here) enough" and race and culture have become so hopelessly intertwined as to be indistinguishable to most people, character race is basically an open invitation for an absolute crap-storm of rage to descend on your work.

    And nobody wants that. So how do you dodge it?

    First, never—and I mean never—unless you have a very character-specific point to raise, begin a character description with "they were -insert race here-." Seriously, do not. That is the path of the crap-storm, because the moment you use any sort of racial identifier, anyone who at all has any baggage attached to whatever identifying word you used will unzip it and set up shop. And every word thereafter will be, unfortunately, picked through by that entire baggage set's personal handlers, who will interrogate everything you write to look for "problems."

    Yeah, seeing the issue here? Don't use racial terms.

    Do you even need to? Well, actually ... No. No you don't. First of all, culture and "race" are two distinct things but slammed together in the modern world climate. And you don't need to directly address either in order to describe a character.

    Think back to what I said about Stephen King's writing, or Rowling. Drop the details people need. You don't have to say "I'm Hawaiian." You can have a character mention that they grew up in Laie, Hawaii. Or you can observe that they have tanned, tough skin.

    Truth is, you can dodge a lot of the controversy just by giving the important details. Maybe hair color. Or the tint of their skin. And none of these are declarative statements of race. It's tricky, but in the modern climate, it's something you just have to deal with.

    Summary

    In conclusion, when describing characters, think about perspective and voice. Then bring that into play with the reasons, the scene, and the view of the character. Then, lastly, consider which details are important. Do this, paint the scene, and walk away with a character description so natural it'll seem like your reader really knows them.

    Good luck! See you all next week!

    12 comments · 178 views
  • 1w, 5d
    Whoa. Correia Takes the SJW Movement to Task

    I know, I've been quiet lately. I've been trying to finish up the first draft of Colony (which is in the final act now, finally), and that's kept me pretty busy. Hunter's story is getting its editing pass this weekend (so ... tomorrow, actually, dang) and will start going up not long after I work out the cover details.


    Anyway, before I get back to work, I just wanted to share a link. This link, specifically. It's from Larry Correia's blog, and it's sort of a summation, a "why I do this," of sorts. And it tackles, of all things, the SJW insanity and how it's been hurting writing.

    Thing is, I feel he makes some incredibly good point. Correia's been fighting this fight for a while, and he's never been shy to point how foolish an opponent's arguments are. With this post, he summed up just about everything distubing that's been permeating the writing culture, and in a very blunt, to the point sort of way.

    Warning: It IS blunt. But sometimes bluntness is needed, and in this case, I happen to think Correia is entirely correct.

    I'd prefer not to kick off a firestorm of controversy in the comments, and with this one, that's a possibility. So in the event you want to weigh in on this, remember the rules of my comment threads, please: No cursing. Be considerate and well-spoken. Don't resort to nastiness, bile, or any of the other typical, less-astute methods of conversation seen around the internet.

    Anyway, I need to get back to work! This book needs to get done!

    13 comments · 192 views
  • ...
 634
 3,562

Steel Song is a lot of things. Earth pony. Uncle. Professional bodyguard.

Retired.

So when he receives a mysterious package from Princess Luna a few weeks after the changeling invasion, he's understandably apprehensive. More-so when he presents himself before the Royal Diarchs to find that not only do they desire him to come out of retirement, but to take command of a most unusual position...

A position that may have more significance than any of them suspect. Because strange thefts are occurring on the Equestrian Railway, thefts that nopony can explain. Thefts that may have far more sinister intentions than their seemingly innocent nature may convey.

Intentions sinister enough to shift the balance of power in Equestria forever.

Book I of The Dusk Guard Saga.

Epic Fantasy

Has a collection of Side Stories as well, the first of which is here.

Now with a TV Tropes page!

"This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!"

Added to Twilight's Library 11/26/2013

Added to Canterlot's Finest 12/01/2013

First Published
3rd May 2013
Last Modified
7th Sep 2013

Nice, excellent dialogue.  Its hard to tell where this story could go.  Lots of potential direction with no clear villain as of yet. I very interested to see where this goes.

>>2522743

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it so far!

>>2544416

I'm hoping that's popcorn of approval!

Then again, with those glasses, void popcorn.

Awww, poor Cappy.  Really enjoying the story so far, looking forward to seeing where you will take it.

>>2579439

Thanks, glad you're enjoying it!

Wow amazing fanfic. Luna is my favorite pony and I believe that you did a good job at portraying her. A beautiful job well done here! Full marks in MY book!

>>2582048

Thanks for the praise! I'm glad you enjoy her character, as she's a very difficult one to write. Hopefully you continue to enjoy her appearances ahead!

Angel the bunny. He's more Angelus than angel :)

>>2612571

Yeah, it always made sense to me that most ponies around town would have a healthy respect/fear of Angel. And if you're working in a forest that he probably frequents, well...

Old stallion you are missing a golden chance. She does not see  you as a old pony.

You should put this in a few more groups man! There are at least six more places you could pop this in at.

>>2644702

Wait, really, which ones? I browsed through, but only found the four.

>>2644711

Well there's the OC group, the self promotion bureau, a fantasy group, uuuuh, I'm sure there are a few others at least. o.O Just make sure you spread out addin your story to multiple groups. Ticks less people off.

>>2644767

Enacting. Lets see what I can get!

>>2644823 cage the elephant is awesome!

>>2614247

Yeah, Steel's really shooting himself in the hoof when it comes to Cappy.

>>2652329

That twangey beat was just perfect for Nova's character. That was the first theme I decided on.

I like the chapter it was light and showed some team bonding. There were secrets revealed, setting for overall plot and humor at another pony's expense. You did good

>>2678182

Glad you enjoyed it. If you like the team playing off one another, then you'll probably really enjoy part two. Rise is as much about the creation of the Dusk Guard as it is about their first foe, and in another few chapters we'll be into the next part.

I will say this though, the setting and the plot may feel like they're finally coming together here, but when we get into the later chapters, most will find themselves thinking back to things from even the first few chapters and saying "Wait! You mean that was ... oh dang!" There are a lot of seemingly innocuous throwaway lines that will later turn out to be very important clues. Watching the pre-readers head's explode (their words, not mine) was quite enjoyable.

There's a pretty complicated spiderweb here. It might feel a little slow at first, but that's just all the pieces being carefully set up.

>>2680092 Oh trust me I know about plot twists. Two things; you said that the story is 260000 words long. Does that mean you've written it already? and if you're having spiderweb problems I know this guy that operates out of New York that likes to dress up in red and blue spandex while cracking bad jokes that could help you out

>>2680490

Yes, TDG:R is already completed in it's entirety. And there will be about four more books following the various characters and a larger overall arc after that, although each will be standalone  (none of these are completed, although work on the second book will begin after I get my next novel out). This has been in the works for a while.

And no spiderweb issues, that guy has enough of his own problems anyway.

Really digging this story now.  Love all the little details you are throwing in. keep it up!

>>2680764

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it! Got a favorite character so far?

EDIT: Had a double. Gone.

Comment posted by Viking ZX deleted at 8:06pm on the 5th of June, 2013

Why the bloody hell doesn't this have more views yet?

>>2705168

Luck of the draw my friend. And it doesn't help that it's starring OCs, and most readers tend to avoid OC stories as I understand it. I'm confident that as time moves on, the growth of viewers and readers will continue to accelerate. If you'd like to help though, feel free to! :pinkiesmile:

I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! I aim to please!

EDIT: And if you don't have a keen eye, the beginning is a little slow (even I'll admit that). If you pay attention it ramps up pretty quick, but being the type of fic it is it can take a bit for people to catch on to everything.

Alright a new part begins. Now have a mustache:moustache:

You're doing a great job with your story, great dialogues and a solid story, I'll read it thoroughly whenever I have time.

I hope you get more recognition in the future.

>>2714478

Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it! :pinkiehappy:

I hope you find the time to keep up with it! Don't feel rushed though, it'll be here waiting!

Favorited, can't wait to continue.

I like how you said Celestai's personel choice was improsened without actually saying so, very well played. :moustache:

I agree with Einzel the story is solid the dialogue is consistent and well written, and the characters are elevale. It was a very down to earth chapter that makes the story more realistic and makes the reader able to relate to the story better. i mean et a ton of people have een set p on lnd dates y fr[/]ends. am an ncle myself and love seeng my nece and nephew when they come to vst. Everyone has dealt wth paperwork at one pont or another n ther lfetme and t's annoyng. So really ths was a relaxng and fn chapter to read   :pinkiehappy::moustache::moustache:

His accent is very natural sounding. I started reading him as Steve Erwin as soon as I met him. Well done

>>2715236

>>2715191

I'm glad you're enjoying them. As important as all the plot was, I tried my hardest to make characters that felt real. By the end of this fic, they were friends, and I hope all my readers end up feeling the same way.

His accent is very natural sounding. I started reading him as Steve Erwin as soon as I met him. Well done

Thanks. And if you read the comments there, he was supposed to be kind of Texan. But he had his own ideas. :rainbowlaugh:

If the design is layering crystals, Skybolt is getting very close to what they do with semiconductors in Intergrated chips ( IC's).

Errrmmmm... I honestly didn't see that coming. I wonder who the keys free... The Dusk guard and the crystal empire, what an interesting idea.:moustache:

>>2742878

The real trick is figuring out how this puzzle piece fits in with all of the others so far. :raritywink:

cool beans

Bravo! I much enjoyed this chapter, it reminds me of gym class.

>>2759500

Glad you're enjoying it!

>>2759754 Capture the flag is one of my favorite games in gym.

good story

>>2772755

Glad you've found it, hope you continue to enjoy it!

HOORI SHEET. I have never seen anything this long before in terms of FanFiction before. My own story is dwarfed in comparison, even by the first act. I must certainly devote a few hours of my time to read this later. Perhaps I can pick up a few skills for writing my own novel, eh?...

Like I'm ever gonna finish that. But still! Excited! :raritystarry:

Had to look back at second chapter to realised what Steel meant when he said he almost missed what Luna meant.  

Well done. I found it particually amusing becuase CTF is one of my favorite games. Can't wait to see Nova's deep dark secret.

>>2777471

*In Mr. Torgue's Voice*

FORESHADOWING!

>>2777710

:pinkiehappy:

That sister is a SPY! Or erm, changeling... Or she's really TO'd at Steel for ... ? I actually have no idea...

The plot thickens...

Well, two things. 1) is his sister sapphire shores? And 2) she was talking about cappy wasn't she.

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