The One Who Writes. Intermittently, Without Fail.
A lot is required to maintain one's musical finesse. Regular practice, unerring dedication, and an ongoing appreciation of one's craft go into the advancement of every artist's talent. In the case of Frederic Horseshoepin, it takes something more.
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Nothing to say
Weird to see such a downvote ratio when worse stories do better. Have a fav and a thumb.
The only criticism I really have is that it perhaps takes too long to get good. The writing is good, and it moves along nicely, but there was a moment there where I was wondering if this was going anywhere. Fortunately I persevered and it did go somewhere, but I guess I can see people giving up there. Still I like it. Not sure it really needs the sad tag though. The very last scene is particularly nice, particularly in the implications. Up until that point I was thinking it would work better without ponies as just a horror story, but that implication is much better because of the contrast with Equestria. Cool story.
Hmm, that synopsis seems familiar...
Huh. That certainly was interesting... This genre is not my cup of tea, but I enjoyed the story.
Reminds me of H. P. Lovecraft and Stephen King's early short stories. I read enough of them to twig what was happening as soon as Fredric mentioned "her".
I like the implication that Lucas has been "helping" many more of the musicians (creating the Orchestra of the Damned perhaps?). Certainly casts a sinister cloud on everyone's favourite cellist...
*nods* I understand what this story is saying...
*Alondro goes out and slaughters every musician, burning/melting their instruments in Orodruin just to be on the safe side*
And now we're safe!
2595117 I know. I can't find it, but there was an Outer Limits episode which was virtually identical to this: some guy is working with a possessed object that needs to eat people who are experts to keep making the less talented guy seem good.
Except the episode went with the more natural course in this case: as with this story, the guy stayed in the same place, and the cops noticed the disappearances. They realized the vanished people all had one common acquaintence: the demon's collaborator.
And he was found out.
Honestly, none of these musicians has done a very good job of covering their tracks. They stay in one place, kill musicians they know well, never make sure the victim doesn't tell anyone where they're going (one of the first things an inpector would ask is where the person was last seen or if they had plans to meet someone. The demon-host could lie, but after it happens twice... well, investigators become very suspicious about coincidences. And with so many musicians in the SAME PLACE working with demons... yeah, at the very least they'd suspect some kind of serial cult murder was going on.) Investigators or demon hunters would hone in on them in a split second.
As for other tales of this genre, there was one with a guy with a demon bed, with a double-cross twist that the intended victim also had a demon pal living in her refrigerator.
There was a "Twilight Zone" episode of a possessed ventrilloquist dummy who abandoned his partner for a young girl who had a naturally proficient criminal mind and lack of conscience.
Again, each story had a twist, something you could not anticipate at all from the beginning, even though when you looked back there were subtle hints all along.
With this story, I knew how it was going to end before I even read it. And with horror, predictability KILLS the story. Horror depends on the unknown, it becomes annoying and frustrating when you already know what's going to happen.
I'd say the main problems with this story are a) An internal issue: the perpetrators don't even make an effort to cover up evidence that could lead to their exposure, something very dangerous in a world of magic where a simple scan would reveal demonic power b) there's no interesting twist. The plot was completely predictable to its very end just from the synopsis and a few sentences in the opening. A reader could read the opening paragraph, the death scene, and the last paragraph, and miss nothing important. Too much of the story ended up as pointless, irrelevant filler.
2610443
It was a joke. I had previously reviewed the story for /fic/.
2610443
And yet, something with such dull predictability wound up on Equestria Daily. Makes you wonder about the state of literary integrity on that site, huh?
2612315 Uhm... I have had issues with quite a few stories that ended up there...
So yes, I do question the literary legitimacy.
That being said, it's a traditional-type horror story with a well-known plot device. But it's no more than that. It will likely spook people who've never seen the trope before, but anyone experienced will pick up on what's going to happen instantly, as well as being able to predict the logic gaps which are almost universal to this trope.
an interesting take on what may be ab old trope but you bring beautiful passion to it regardless of its age. I think of it more as a fine wine.
Beautiful. Absolutely Marvelous! I must say, I knew exactly where it was going from the very beginning, which usually kills this kind of tale. But something about the way this was written just made it even more fun to know where the story was headed.
This is great definitely doing the reading.
Now that was excellent!
8706693
I'm happy that you think so!