• Published 8th Feb 2012
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Equestria: A Flux Tale - Star Sage



A Tiny Human lands in Equestria. Why? What? Who? Questions to be answered, and a quest to be found.

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I Heard That Vinyl!

Foolishness. It was pure foolishness. There was no way this should get to you. You should be above such things. Still, it was kind of hard to be above them with every eye on you, everypony expecting something. Heck, Vinyl even pulled down her glasses to wink at you, showing you her red eyes, and her own expression one telling you to do it. Octavia, Twilight, and basically anypony you should actually respect is looking at you like taking her up on this would be crazy. Then again, you're a human, a few inches tall, in a world of talking equines, and flying through the power of magic granted to you by a sun goddess, and better yet, you'd say this would make a pretty dull episode of the show if you'd had it on, too much focus on a new character, and he's pretty dull. Also, the whole nudity thing was just vulgar for a kid's show.

With that in mind, you rocket off. Swimming through the air had been about as fast as a pony's walk, but when you focus, pointing your fist like you were Superman or something, you fly like a bullet. There's a slight air displacement behind you, you can feel it, and you watch as a few pages get ruffled. At the speed you're going though, you quickly find yourself having to turn and fly in a loop around the room, spinning rapidly about the ponies, who try to keep up with you as you dart forward. Wanting to see your agility, you then quickly turn in towards them, zipping between massive legs, and then between hooves as they're lifted off the ground, almost getting stepped on by Rainbow Dash as she instinctively tries to squash you, only to zoom up, whirl around her wings, causing them to twist together, before landing on her head with a bow.

"That was awesome little dude," said Vinyl, smirking, as Dash raised her hoof and shook it at you, like she was trying to shoo away a fly. Seeing no reason to antagonize her further, you get off her head, and float at about eye level with the ponies.

"Yeah, yeah, very impressive. Not as fast as my, obviously," said Rainbow after uncurling her wings, and looking like she's about to take off, only to be stopped as Twilight holds her hoof in front of her face.

"No! No indoor tricks! It took me over a week to fix this place up last time you did that," she scolded, and Dash looked a bit embarrassed, as she scratched the back of her neck with her forehoof.

"And then the fires happened," she said, chuckling a bit.

"And then the fires happened," echoed Twilight, as Dash descended to the floor, and everyone just stood in silence for a few moments, collecting their thoughts.

"So, since I didn't get a chance to look around town yesterday, anypony want to show a new guy in this one horse....er, well two bit ville the sights?" you ask after a while, floating and looking around, and suddenly several faces light up. The conversation turns into a tumult as everyone suggests places to visit, from Sugar Cube Corner, to Sweet Apple Acres, to Rainbow Dash's house. Mind, you actually want to visit them all, but then something happens that makes all conversation stop dead in its tracks. Stomachs grumble, ten of them all at once, as you, Spike, and eight ponies are reminded that thanks to the early visit, none of you had eaten. Heck, you hadn't eaten since yesterday, and were being reminded by a hunger pang of that fact.

"First, let's do lunch, then we take out little visitor on a sightseeing tour, what do you say girls?" asked Twilight, and there's a round of agreement, though a new conversation starts up. Mostly in the vein of where to go for lunch, though Pinkie also inserts whether or not to just skip lunch and go right to dessert, which sounds interesting, but you reject it out of hand, needing some real food before you pass out. At last, there's an agreement of two choices, Sweet Apple Acres, or a cafe downtown that Twilight likes called the Dreaming Tree, probably the same one from Ticket Master, though you don't mention that to them. The former likely has more food you can eat, all apple based, but still, while the latter might have more variety, and is in a more interesting locale.

"Well, I still want to see the town, so how's about we try this cafe?" you answer when asked, hoping the place actually has something you can eat. You hadn't considered it before, but the ponies ate...well, they ate grass and stuff, and Spike ate gems. Heck, the show itself had never shown you much that you could actually make a meal of beyond apples, which, while healthy, weren't something you wanted to eat every day for the rest of your life. Still, they had other vegetables, and while your modern sensibilities were one for junk food, fries, and an occasional pizza, you would deal. It wasn't like you had much choice unless whatever force had brought you here just as mysteriously took you back to where you belonged. Or maybe this is where you belonged, who knew.

“I’ll pass, that place never has any good gemstones, and I’ve got some cleaning to do anyway,” says Spike, sounding like it was a usual thing for him, but not an intolerable one, as he starts to pick up a few books and put them up, before opening a door between a few shelves, rummaging around inside, and then pulling out something that looked like a rupee from Zelda, which be bit into with a loud crunch, the others ignoring him as they start for the door.

"So, while we're walking, how's about we show you the sights around the square, or, since you already know so much about us, you tell us?" asked Twilight, only a bit of accusation getting into her voice. Of course she would remember from yesterday that you knew a bit too much about their world, and the others, moving towards the exit, barely notice as she gets closer to you, her horn glowing slightly, and you can feel the magic as it surrounds the two of you. Somehow, you know it's both an illusion spell, making it look like the two of you are talking amicably, and a silencing spell, so no one can hear you talk.

"You really are too perceptive for your own good, you know that?" you tell her, and fly next to her head, lounging a bit in the air. That actually proved to be harder than you expected as your center of gravity kept shifting, and after a few moments, you just sat cross legged next to her, trying to keep up with the pony's pace as they walked, the other chatting just outside the spell.

"Besides, there's not that much to tell. I know things, because I'm from another dimension that has some crosses with yours'," you tell her simply.

"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe you somehow don't know how you hot here, if you already know things like me making wings for Rarity?" she demands, looking at you almost as evil eyed as Princess Luna from yesterday.

"Heh, believe what you will, my little pony. The truth is, I know nothing about this world in detail. I know general things, and I know there are adventures to be had. Still, if you want something from me, then I give you my promise. I won't hurt anypony, or dragon, or thing around here, knowingly. I'm not a villain, despite what I almost did to the Princess. I'm a guy, who's fallen through a hole in the Fourth Wall, and now gets to explore a land of make believe. Heck, I'm thinking of starting an autograph book sometime," you tell her, trying to put as much sincerity into your voice as you can. Twilight, for her part, eyes you a little funny still, but then just turns her head, and with a thought, you feel the spell around the two of you shatter.

"I'll hold you to that promise, and if I think you're breaking your word, I will make you regret it," she said, motioning with her hoof towards her stomach, and you remembered both times you'd been eaten. Not pleasant experiences, and you just nod, trying not to think about them, as everypony arrives as the cafe. It was, as you'd surmised, the place where you'd seen Twilight in the Ticket Master, and everyone started to gather around the tables, you taking a seat on the table itself, with the waiter walking up, looking at you, looking at the ponies with you, and then sighing with a mumbled complaint about Twilight and her strange friends, before smiling and coming forward.

"Welcome to the Dreaming Tree, I'll assume our young Canterlot librarian will have her usual?" he asks, and you notice he's not the one from the show. Instead of a white earth pony with a dark mane, he's a light green unicorn, with a dark green mane, though still wearing the fancy shirt you remember that snooty sounding waiter wore in the episode.

"That would be lovely," said Twilight, using her levitation to send the menu that had been sitting at her place back towards him. You, looking down, find a similar menu at your own place, and try to unfold it, to not much success, until Octavia, looking towards you, reaches down and lifts your menu up, setting it up on its side so you can read it.

"Thanks," you tell her, as you start to look through the items. Luckily, since you have no idea what food might be what, the menu comes with pictures. Unluckily, as you'd thought, most of the food offered was grass, flowers, and occasionally something that looked like mud. Hay fries look especially unappitizing, as they're literally just hay stalks, likely roasted. Still, not all the food is inedible, and as the others place their orders, Fluttershy getting a salad, Rarity something that sounded French, Applejack and Rainbow both getting sandwiches with lots of stuff in them, Pinkie getting all desserts, with Vinyl joining her at that game, and Octavia, after a moment, just asking for whatever Twilight was getting, the waiter turns to you, and you hover just over the edge of your menu and ask for a plate of pasta.

"Alright, I'll be back in a moment with your orders," he says as he levitates your menu away, walking towards the cafe, and stepping through a door. This leaves everyone looking around, that awkward moment when conversation needs to start, but no one can think of what to say. You don't even bother trying to fill it, as you look around the cafe. The town around you looks so darn interesting. Ponies, of all shapes, colors, and sizes walk about on their daily business. From a few pegasi pulling carts through the clouds, to earth ponies with saddlebags stuffed full rushing along the street. This is a small town life, just living day to day. Heck, the others don't even seem interested in it at all, as Rarity snacks on the flowers in the center of her table, and Octavia is busy straightening the table cloth, with Vinyl then unstraightening it a moment later.

"So, what does everyone here do for a living?" you ask at last. You already know the answers to most of the questions, but then, it seemed like a good way to break the ice.

"Oh! Well, I'm Princess Celestia's student. I run the Ponyville Library, and receive a stipend from the Royal Treasury of a few bits a month," said Twilight helpfully, smiling at being able to educate someone, and any earlier distrust in you seemingly just vanished, possibly thanks to the promise, as Twilight seems the type to take promises very seriously, and possibly thanks to just being with the others.

"And I um...I care for animals and pets around Ponyville. It doesn't make much money, but I don't want for much either," says Fluttershy, a bit quietly, but still, she's not squeaking, which is a good thing, as you remember her never liking to talk about herself.

"Heh, well, you heard that my family runs a farm outside a' town, right? That's what I do most days, except when I'm with mah friends," says Applejack.

"And I'm the Weather Pony for all of Ponyville. I gots the skills, that pays the bills," says Rainbow Dash, brushing her hoof against her chest and then smirking at you.

"Ooo ooo ooo, me next, me next! I work for the Cakes over at Sugar Cube Corner, which is where we should have gone for lunch because then I could have gotten all our food for free and it would all have been yummy sweets and cakes and pies a-" says Pinkie Pie, being stopped when Applejack shoves a flower into her open mouth, though you could hear her muffledly continuing to talk even as she chewed her mouthful.

"And as for me, Darling, as you saw yesterday, I'm a fashion designer. I run the Carousel Boutique, which is quickly becoming the fashion hot spot for all of Equestria's most elite ponies," Rarity fills you in, tossing her mane a bit, trying to look proud and beautiful, which, you have to admit, she does.

"And I blast the tunes that ponies groove too, as well as run the number one talk show in all the land," said Vinyl loudly, looking like she wanted some buttons to push to make some noise, like any other shock jock back home who had their own radio show.

"He knows that Vinyl, remember, he was on the air with us last night," Octavia reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Well then, since we told you ours', how's about you little guy. What do humans do for a living?" Vinyl says, turning the question back on you, and everyone, including someponies at tables nearby start to look at you expectantly.

"Um, well, I'm an office drone," you say at last, and most of the others just stare at you.

"You're an insect?" asks Twilight after a moment, and you emphatically shake your head.

"No, no, nothing like...well really something like that, as that's where the word comes from, but really, I just do work in an office. Anything that needs doing, so I've been both go-fer, meaning I pick things up for others, to data analyst, meaning I study charts and try to make them understandable, to a junior executive once, where I sat on my bottom in a big chair and blamed everyone under me for my own short comings," you say, quite honestly.

"That sounds....rather pointless and boring," responds Vinyl after a while, and you nod emphatically.

"Uh...look our food!" she say as a distraction, and luckily, it's not wrong. The unicorn, levitating the dishes, brings them to the table, setting two plates of chocolate cake that appears to be stuffed with candy in front of Vinyl and Pinkie, while Fluttershy gets he salad, and Octavia and Twilight both get daffodil and daisy sandwiches. Rarity's dish is a bit odd, and looks like some kind of pastry, except with flowers in it, while Applejack and Rainbow Dash both get sandwiches as well, triple decker ones that look like their full of several types of flowers. Last but not least, your own bowl is set in front of you, it's a bowl of string pasta sized for you.

"Well, I don't know why they had it in my size, but I'm grateful," you say, less to anyone else, and more to yourself, as you start to dig in. The others do as well, with the unicorns levitating their food to their mouths and taking bites...well Vinyl's taking chunks out of her's, but otherwise Twilight and Rarity are actually trying to show table manners. Like Vinyl, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are just scarfing down their food, Dash appearing to choke at one point, before swallowing heavily, and then keeping going, making you wonder less about how she could have eaten Applejack without realizing it. Octavia is holding her own sandwich between her two forehooves and sitting back on her seat while she takes dainty bites, while Fluttershy is doing the same to her salad, leaning down to take bites from the bowl.

"Of course, silverware is nowhere to be found," you mumble, and then shrug. When in Ponyville, one does as the ponies, and so you dive head first into the pasta, using your tongue to drag noodles that are a bit bigger than your used too, but not as big as one would expect, into your mouth, and then suck them inside. Luckily, you don't have to try too hard to avoid making slurping noises, as the more messy of your fellow diners are making more than enough noise to cover up anything you do. Unluckily, it's still not easy to eat with just your face, and so you have to keep pulling back and coming up for air, while everyone else is fine eating the way they are, since their nostrils still allow them to breath.

"Um, you doin' okay there little 'un?" says Applejack around a mouthful, and you nod at her, noticing your bowl is almost empty now, as well as everyone else's plates around you. Ponies eat fast....well you knew Pinkie Pie did, but the others always struck you as being better mannered. Still, you find you aren't starving anymore, and push the bowl away from you after drawing out another strand and slurping it up. The gang laughs when you emit a rather loud, considering your size, belch while the other patrons around the cafe just look on at you, none of them seemingly sure what to think about the tiny creature in their midst.

"So, what -gulp- next?" asks Rainbow Dash, as she downs the last bite of her own meal, and looks around. Everypony suggests something different all at once, and you wonder if this will lead to another vote. Luckily though, they all decide quickly to just wander the square for a little while, just to get a good look. Not having any better ideas yourself, you hover off the ground a little, and find that, oddly, you can't fly nearly as well. Oh, you can still do it, but it takes a bit more focus than before, and after a moment or two, you turn to Octavia and ask if she can carry you on her back again, to which she happily agrees, letting you land, as everyone walks forward, Twilight or one of the Six pointing out landmarks, and Octavia and Vinyl start to list off their own experiences from previous visits to Ponyville.

"And that's where they setup the stage on Nightmare Night for myself and my ensemble," says Octavia, pointing just beside where the town hall stands. Remembering the episode, you force yourself not to ask specific questions. While Twilight seems to be the only one who remembers you have knowledge you shouldn't you don't want to push too hard with it.
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"Nightmare Night?" you ask instead, and are quickly filled in on the details of the holiday. It was originally, according to Twilight, a rather cheerful holiday, to commemorate the defeat of Nightmare Moon, and celebrations would last well into the night. Over one thousand years though, the celebration changed into one of scaring children with stories of Nightmare herself, and it morphed into a candy giving holiday. How that last part happened she's not sure, but Pinkie quickly tells her it's because candy is awesome, and thus, should be part of every holiday, a sentiment to which Vinyl quickly agrees.

"Like you need any more help rotting your teeth," Octavia chides, and Vinyl just smiles at her, revealing a pair of chompers that are actually almost as white as her coat. You make not comment though, as your own teeth aren't exactly sparkling. Before the conversation can go farther, you spot a familiar face, or rather, a pair of familiar faces, and two others, walking along the path nearby. Derpy, the Doctor, and what you can only assume are their children, are coming closer, with the Doctor laughing at something you hadn't heard. They don't turn towards you, but you can tell Derpy at least is giving you a sidelong glance, and you wonder if they're going to come closer.

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