• Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 9th, 2023

dasubur


T

>>/:Begin file: report#19345.txt :<<
>> Analyzes of Mission Doc: 100% complete <<
=FILE DESCRIPTION=
A probe is launched from deep space straight into a wormhole its mission only consisting of some rather vague lines of text
The probe contained a standard explorer drone, a simple experiment would turn into one of the biggest debacles in the robotic establishments history and equestrian's as well being rather unfortunate in the fact of being dragged into this spectacular feet of poor planning and pointless variables and rather unfortunate events. The results are for you to determine.
=//END OF FILE DESCRIPTION//=

>>//: load report file? :<<
.Y/N.
//AKA: highly advanced robots meet ponies
will probably add more characters as this goes and they become relevant
still writing as i go to what comes to mind, suggestions,comments,death threats are all welcome.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 23 )

:ajbemused: Only one complain: please remove the wall of text by making spaces if you please.

:moustache: Yet the story sounds... interesting... lets see what happens.

202360
can you please direct me to the "wall of text" parts? i think i got it but i'm not sure
202372
What part of the robot did you not like?

This story is great :pinkiehappy:
i love the direction its going and i love how you write it from the robots perspective, can wait untill the robot meets a pony :trollestia:

219208
oh don't worry the robot is sure to cause alot of trouble :trollestia:

This is quite fascinating indeed, I'm definitely tracking this story.

I like how you write the robots perspective, not many readers write it that way, you sure gained my attention from just that. And the story is getting even more interesting with each chapter! I wonder what created the robot, what would it do when it meets a pony, how would Equestria react to it. Only time will tell.

Great story so far, definitely looking forward for the next chapter.

219782
I'm not quite sure how you make something "LOANGER" :moustache:

Just kidding, I know what you mean, the problem is the chapters end were I "run out of steam" I usally have to stop and think about what is going to happen next when a chapter ends.

Oh no, that's not what was meant by spaces :twilightoops:

I think he meant to put it into paragraphs, organized by what happens relatively close in time to each other. Indent the beginnings too (FIMFiction has a neat tool for that in the editor!)

229669
well....don't matter now. :trollestia:

Listen up kiddies this stuffs important... i see wut yoo deed thar

I love the story, just one little grievance, layout.
Firstly, try to keep multi-line sentences together and group sentences into blocks about a single subject. Your current layout just breaks flow.
I'm sorry if I came out harsh, I'm not trying to be I'm just trying to improve your story.

But other than that, keep it up!

also ponyville is gonna get BUCKED UP!:rainbowwild:
[img] http://arch.413chan.net/shitstorm-(n1298605868726).png [/img]
p.s. i recently found out how to insert images in comments, is it noticable?:twilightsheepish:

Grammar needs very serious work. :ajbemused:

Grammar needs very serious work. :ajbemused:

Also, if it's midnight, the time should be 12 AM. 12 PM is noon.

21 straight likes and its been on hiatus? Cmon mate, you have to continue this. It's got potential.

6940625
yeah I just can not bring myself to write a decent plot that works, I'll give it another shot soon

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