Prologue-Sullen Goodbyes and a New Beginning
(Set 5 years ago, after the Shining Armor/Cadence wedding)
It was a warm and peaceful day in the world of Equestria, as the warmth of Celestia’s sun enveloped its citizens, and everything was tranquil and calm. Down below, there was a small little dragon boy who went by the name of Spike, and he was currently playing with his best friend, a small unicorn filly with a light purple and pink hair and a cream white body by the name of Sweetie Belle. These 2 always hung out with each other whenever one of them wasn't helping out with either Rarity or the other members of the CMC, or Cutie Mark Crusaders for short. Some of the things that they did together were that they played tag, ate snacks together, played in the playground that was at the schoolhouse, and other fun, memorable things. They really appreciated the presence of each other’s company, and no one could ever deny that, like for example, whenever Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would constantly pick on the CMC for their blank flanks, Spike would catch wind of it and jump into their rescue each and every time, which really annoyed the 2 of them to no end.
While they didn't go to the same school, they still got the same amount of education, and they were now set to move on and do things for themselves. It was the final day before Sweetie would go on to an all-mares school up in Canterlot on a prestigious scholarship, and she wanted to spend as much time with spike as possible. She constantly told herself time and time again that she didn't harbor any feelings for spike, and yet every once in a while, she would constantly blush around him, and feel slightly more happier than usual, but spike didn't notice any of it. They were currently on a hill, relaxing and eating some delicious ice cream, with Sweetie eating a creamy vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles, and Spike chowing down on a mint chocolate, cookies and cream, rocky road, and toffee flavored cone, coated with gems on each side. They were almost done with their cones when Sweetie decided to speak up.
“Spike……...there’s something I've been trying to tell you…….but it just doesn't seem easy for me to tell you!!!!!”
Spike looks at her with a confused look on his face, but just shrugs it off and puts his hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure her.
“Whatever it is you gotta tell me, I’m sure that I’ll be able to handle it. Besides……..I’m not the type of guy to flip off on the bad side of things.”
“Oh really………..Remember when Rarity didn’t have enough gems to finish that expensive line of clothes for Hoity Toity and you panicked and rushed off to dig up as much gems as you can??
“That was only that one time……...Sheesh, you gots to have a bit more faith in me, huh?”
“And that other time when Twilight took my class on a field trip around the new castle, and you couldn’t remember where you placed the journal that we wrote in??”
“Ok ok, so you kinda have a point about me flipping off the handle about bad things happening, but I’m sure that whatever it is, it won’t be the end of the world, so go ahead!!!”
If there was one thing that Sweetie Ophelia Belle could respect from Spike, it was his down-to-earth honesty and self respect towards others emotions. It too was also one thing that she grew to love about him, and as she started to blush again, she had to shake her head to stop her blushing, and Spike saw this, seeing this as a sign that she couldn't continue with what she needed to say.
“Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong?”
“No no, you didn’t do anything wrong. Ok…..here it goes…..” She took a deep breath and decided to go for broke. “ I won a fully paid scholarship to this prestigious high school/college, and I’m gonna have to go away……...from you. Its an all mares school, and its been getting some good reviews, and Rarity insisted that I would get a better sense of what I want to do with my life if I went to that school. I'm sorry!!”
After she said it, there was a long, silent break, as no one said not a single word or sentence. After a small bit of time passed, Sweetie Belle started to get worried, as she thought that Spike was paralyzed with fear from the news, but when she looked at him, it was much worse for her that she could ever realized. Spike was looking down, sadden and downtrodden from it. What she didn’t know was that Spike wanted things to end differently, and she could hear it very clearly when he spoke.
“Oh…….that's…...great for you……..I’m…….. proud of you!!” He then tried to force a smile on his face and put a thumbs up for her, in order to appear happy for her, but Sweetie wasn't buying it for a minute, and she frowned on him for trying to fake-out his emotions.
“Stop trying to fake me out!!!! I know that somethings going on with you, and I want to hear it………..NOW!!!!!!!”
Spike sighed, as even he knew that he couldn't hide nothing from her, as she could get almost anything out of him. He decided that he might as well come out with it.
“I wanted us to go to the same high school together, so that I could at least have one friend that I already knew, but I guess things aren’t gunna work out the way that you want them to!!!!! Whatever happens…….just go for it, and don't worry about me….I'm fine with it. As long as you’re happy with it, I’ll be ok.”
Sweetie couldn't believe what had just happened. She was both shocked and surprised at what Spike had just said. She could always count on Spike to always be supportive for her to the end, but now she was sad that Spike had different plans for her, and she couldn't much to change it…….that's what she thought at first.
“If you want Spike…………...I don’t have to take the scholarship. We can go to the same school like you planned……. I don’t mind at all!!”
“No…….” Spike suddenly declared. “If you did that, I couldn't forgive myself for letting you throw away the one chance you could have at getting into that school. Ill just…….adjust to this. Seriously tho…” He grasped her hands and look at her, dead in the eyes, “Go ahead and go to this school, and do the very best that you can, because I wont accept anything less from you. Just write to me as much as you can…….Thats all I ask”
At that point, Sweetie Belle hugged Spike as tight as she could, with tears of happiness streaming down her face, and she was blushing full on her face, Spike did nothing else but hugged her too, and both of them were smiling as the sun started to set on them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(2 weeks later, at the Ponyville Train Station)
After a rocking going-away party from none other than Pinkie Pie herself, and getting a bunch of going away gifts from her sisters friends, Everyone was at the train station, getting ready to see Sweetie Belle off to her new school. Twilight Sparkle was wearing a simple purple, white, and pink dress with some holes cut in for her wings. Applejack was wearing her classic orange dress that she always wore, not simple, yet not too fancy, and she accessorized it with her stetson hat. Fluttershy was wearing a frilly yellow and pink dress patterned with flowers and little bunnies on it. Pinkie was wearing a custom made pink dress decorated with candy and sprinkles, and it was strangely edible for her and anyone else who was crazy enough to try it. Rainbow Dash was dawning an awesome dress that really complimented her body, with a rainbow of colors blending together and had a few stallions staring at her direction. Rarity herself had to out dress everyone there, even tho it wasnt her fanciest dress, as it contained a fancy, cream white frame, and some gems studded on it, and many mares were jealous of her while she walked around in it. Finally, Spike was wearing a purple and green shirt, with some blue jeans, and he walked with a style that seemed to draw some mares eyes onto him. As the train arrived, everyone was saying their last goodbyes to Sweetie Belle.
“You study up now sugarcube, cause there’s gunna be many fillies up there that are gunna be smarter than ya, so be prepared, ya hear?”
“Just…….be careful up there……….eep”
“Justmakesuretomakelotsoffriendsandeatlotsandlotsofcandyandneverforgettothrowlotsandlotsandlotsofparties,causepartiesarealwaysfunandexcitingandsuperduperamazing”
“You just be awesome out there squirt…….but not more awesome than me…”
“I heard that the school is very up-to-date with their studies and applications to theoretical magical studies. Oooooooooo, I’m so jealous of you right now!!!!”
Finally, Rarity hugged Sweetie Belle tightly and said some wise, helpful words to her.
“Now dear, I want you to go up there and make a name for yourself. Be fabulous, studious, and makes lots of friends. Try not to get into too much trouble, and no colts or stallions unless I meet them, understand?”
“Yes sister. Sheesh, I can take care of myself ya know. Just have a little bit of faith and trust in me, ok?”
“You’re right…………..but its gunna be so lonely without my dear sister…….” At that point, Rarity bawled out crying and Spike walked her off to her friends and he too had some final words to say to her. He then walked up to her and gave her one last hug before going speaking his last words to her.
“I’ll miss you, and even tho this is goodbye for now, I know for a fact that we’ll meet up sometime in the future. Hang in there, always believe in yourself, and if you ever need any help at all, I’m just a letter away. Here…………” He gives her a picture of him and her posing in a picture, and the 2 of them are elated and happy. “Just look at this picture, and you’ll remember who’s always there for you!!!” The trains whistle blows off, signaling Sweetie Belle that she has to get on. Spike gives her one last, firm hug, and then backs off so that she can go. Sweetie Belle at this point has tears streaming down her face, and she was blushing as she walked to the door and looked back one last time at everyone she was leaving behind.
“Thank you everyone……..for everything you’ve done for me. I won’t let any of you down, I promise. This isn’t goodbye……...I’ll see you all again as soon as I can!!!!!”
With that, she got on the train, and as it set off, she found a seat near a window, sat down, and looked at the picture that Spike gave to her, and she beamed a smile, as a new adventure was beginning for her, and the people involved with her.
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Nice for a Starter
So far, its pretty good. A few things i noticed though:
1. The first few paragraphs were very heavy on exposition. This is good to set the background of a story, but most of it felt like i was being told what happened, rather than shown.
2. I noticed a few misspellings (especially "tho" instead of "though") so you may wanna use a spellcheck before posting it.
3. One last thing i noticed (though this is kind of me being picky) is that you used "gunna" when having Rarity talk. It would seem more natural for her to say "going to", and someone like Rainbow Dash to say gunna. At least in my opinion
Overall, though, i enjoyed the story, looking forward to the next part
Wow, you've had this one sitting around for a super long time. Good job.
The Prologue is Pretty Amazing!! I Hope The Rest of the Story is Gonna Be More Awesome!!
Random question. On a scale of 0-5 how anthro is this story, just to help me picture it.
th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/131/e/6/types__applejack_by_shepherd0821-d64v7eg.jpg
4771183
3 or 4, mostly 3
4771440 Thank you.
4771520
Glad I could clear things up
I like the Prologue. Curious to see how this goes. I'll keep my eyes on it.
moreeee plx :'D
I'm interested. However, ya might wanna tone down on the exclamation points. There were lots of places where they weren't really necessary and threw me off.
Alright so don't me wrong,this is a good story.however,you need be a lot better when it come to grammar.Also,the prologue honestly seemed more like them being maybe 10 or so,I don't know.That being said,don't use no we're near as many exclamation marks as you did in this.Now I'm no Language-arts professional,but you need to do a lot better when it comes to.fgrammar,okay?Well good.luck in the future though