So today is the last day of Spring Break for me. Guess what I've accomplished during this course of 10 days?
Nothing. Glorious, undisputed nothing. And that really concerns me.
I had initially planned to hammer out the next installment of Novelty during the break, and maybe even start up something else during that time. The problem is that every time I opened up a document to start putting down some words, I ended up closing it without writing anything. The only time I can manage to do anything even remotely productive when it comes to fics is when I'm collaborating with someone else, namely Whirring Gears. Of course, a team effort is far easier than doing anything alone, so working with him is an incredible help to my drive to work. But when it comes to my personal works, I can't seem to generate anything noteworthy as of late.
It's not a lack of ideas either. I have virtually everything for the 4th chapter of Novelty planned out, as well as a lot of other fics on my mind. I've got one massive project that's been simmering in my head for a while now too. It just seems that any time I try to actually get something written down for all of my works that nothing seems to happen, and it's been bugging me for so long. My output for all of my works has hit the crapper and I'm becoming increasingly concerned. I worry that I'm losing motivation to write.
Why is that?
I'm eager to write out all of the ideas that I've got, but the moment I open a page up to write, the lint floating in the air suddenly seems more interesting than does writing out what I've got in my head. It's not that I don't want to write. I do, very much so. But when I can't get anything onto paper each and every time I try, it gets a little disheartening for me. Seriously, the next part of Novelty has less than 2,000 words right now and is nowhere near done. On top of that, I'm not even happy with what I do have at the moment.
The worst part of it for me is, well, you. Yes, you. All of you. I don't mean that maliciously. I know that you all have said that you don't mind if I take a lot of time to write. All of the hiatuses I've taken in the last few months have proven that to me. It warms my heart knowing that you all understand and are okay with my constant leaves (well, most of you, I hope.). Even then, it still makes me feel bad that I can't pump anything out. There isn't any crisis or situation that I'm in that is holding me from writing. I'm in good health, life is fine, the situation with my father a few months back is over and done with, school is going good, so on so forth. There really isn't some serious thing inhibiting my from writing. On top of that, I've got all the reasons to write. Reasons that include all of you, as well as my own desire to see my ideas come forth.
So, even with all of that in mind, I'm still stuck. My output for anything is still next to nothing. Perhaps this isn't even an issue of motivation, but I'd still like to ask. Perhaps I can find some more of my own if I hear about yours.
For all of you out there who writes/has written fanfiction, what is it that drives you to write? I'm pretty curious to see why people write. Is it to please someone specific? Is it to see your ideas blossom? Is it to fill a gap that no one else has filled yet? Or is it just because you felt like it?
What is your motivation and/or inspiration?
P.S. Or for those who don't care, have some bittersweet chiptune music, courtesy of OCRemix.
P.S.S. Why the Hell is Alleycat Blues on the top of my fics list on the side over there. Seriously. Someone is gonna have to explain that to me.