Short survey on signature errors, trying to narrow down the cause: http://goo.gl/forms/sznzuBu7MR
Here it is the lyrics for the official Lunaverse version of the of the Friendship is Magic opening theme song. Presented in glorious magical technicolor, enjoy.
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...
My little pony
Friendship never meant that much to me
But you're all here and now I can see
Stormy weather; Lots to share
A musical bond; With love and care
Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,
And magic makes it all complete!
You have my little ponies
How'd I ever make so many true friends?
There might still be a few variations floating about, but this is how it now appears in my fic, and here is a copy/paste link for any one who wants the same.
Original post preserved bellow for posterity
RDD has been using the intro theme since Boast Busted, and Fizzy Orange followed suit in his own installment. I just sort of wrote around it, intending to imply that it happens in the break between the first two chapters. Anyway my point is that I've been giving some thought on the matter and while it's a very minor overall aspect I kind of thought the Lunaverse deserved its own song, or more specifically the part in the middle where the friends all sound off should be different.
Now I'm not trying to force anything here, but if anyone else thinks this is a worthy idea, I submit my own humble take on the verse.
Raindrops: Stormy weather
Ditzy: Lots of mail
Lyra: A musical bond
Carrot Top: Caring and fair
Cheerilee: Teaching laughter
Notably with both Lyra and Chearilee I tried to blend their talent and element into a single line. Ditzy is a bit of a non-sequitur, but I think it suits her, even if the Lunaverse uses one of the more serious takes on her character.
Coming up with a line for Raindrops was the toughest part. She doesn't seem much like the declaration through song type, and for a bit I considered having her go last with a line that expressed she wasn't happy being forced into it. Instead I put her at the start, giving her a line that describes her talent, general mood, and the overall darker tone of the Lunaverse as compared to the actual show.
With Raindrops I'd almost suggest "through stormy weather," or something like that. Raindrops has anger issues, yes, but she is trying to work through them, and it keeps with the "friendship" theme.
Other than that, good job! I've been wondering if I should change the theme, or ask someone to, but as I established in LNLD, I'm not very good at that.
"through stormy weather" is indeed better, and was more or less what I was trying to get at, but if I wanted the song to still fit the original music I had to work within a fairly strict syllable limit (in this case about 4).
Through stormy skies, maybe?
Well, "through" is technically only one syllable, but it's an awfully long one, and would probably feel rather rushed if sung at the original song's pace, not a good idea for a steady character like Raindrops.
Also, the line is replacing Dash's "big adventure", which is not only a statement of how she lives her life, but also a declaration as to the plot of the show (or at least as it was planed before becoming almost exclusively a slice of life series). So as I said, my basic line is sort of a mood setter for the darker more mysterious Lunaverse.
On a further note, while for us storms are scary things, nature at it's purist and most untamed, in Equestria storms are just another tool wielded by skilled ponies, something to be tamed and tunred to constructive function. From that perspective I think it could be a very apt descriptor for Raindrops. Powerful anger, dangerous if left unchecked, but controllable and useful for getting certain jobs done.
That's some good work, Emeral. I think 'stormy weather' fits with Raindrops just fine.
The Ditzy line seems awkward to me. I know that being a mail mare is a big part of her life, but as I understand it, she only started doing that out of pure necessity. Everyone else's lines come from a part of their personality or something they really love doing, but I don't really think Ditzy's job seems to fall under either category for her.
That's more or less supposed to be part of the joke, it's a silly line for a silly pony.
You know, if we really wanna go the fullnine yards, we could also go about rewriting the whole song. I mean, Trixie already knew what ffiendship could be. Even if she sucked at it.
Arguably the exact same could be said of canon Twilight, but as the long version goes on to explain, the line more accurately refers to how Twilight used to feel that making friends was basically too much effort for not enough reward and so something she had written off as a pointless wast of time.
I'm not opposed to re-writing the Twilight portions of the song, I just happen to feel that the original is close enough. After all, while the rest of the L6 and M6 are all rather different from each other, even Trixie herself pointed out how simultaneously similar she and Twilight were in thier differences, and that if circumstances had been only a little different there positions could have been completely reversed.
Edit: When M!Twilight sings "I used to wonder what friendship could be" she is questioning the value of friendship, when L!Trixie sings the same she is question how to maintain longterm relationships.
Yeah, I readily admit I'm being nitpicky. But still, if it's worth doing, it's worth OVERDOING!
Read my profile or author's notes for my story and you'll see that my fundamental nature agrees with that statement. However, in this case I would define OVERDOING it as trying to tackle the pun-tastical long version of the song. A task for which I'm uncertain if my Weird Al-Fu is strong enough.
I still might try at some point, but not right now when it would only distract me from finishing Griffin Over the Line
......Even I'm not crazy enough to try tackling the long version.
I'm trying very hard not too be that crazy, doing a pretty good job of keeping away from the punny party, but I did just right now whip up this little didi
When I was young I was too bitchy to keep any friends.
Such niceties did not seem worth the effort to expend.
I'd probably uses a slightly more PG word for the first substitution though if writing a finalized version.
How about simplifying the 'through stormy weather' to 'through bad weather'?
Still has the problem that "through" is a bit awkward to fit the available beat. Also "bad" is a rather week adjective and I'd rather avoid it. Besides, as explained above I think "stormy" can be interpreted much more deeply than the more overtly negative "bad".
>>304873304873 Hmmm... How about... 'braving dark clouds' ?
It's a rough fit, "clouds" is another of those technically one syllable words that takes a bit more to fully enunciate. Your full phrase though is still the best alternative I've seen.
I think another problem that has gone unspoken thus far might also be that syllables isn't the only concern. The original phrase is also only two words, and trying to fit in more, even if the syllable count is the same, while keeping them all distinctively coherent can be awkward. Those spaces in between each eat up a little time.
You could always try to fit her at a different point in the song, even if it doesn't really fit with Raindrops herself.
True, but doing that also requires moving another pony. Which means re-writing two lines.
Also there is some unmentioned subtexts involved. All the L6 Elements of Harmony have been arranged so the don't match the correspond M6 counterpart. Further more their is a loose correspondence to social dynamics.
Rainbow Dash and Raindrops are both weathermares
Pinkie and Ditzy both know everypony in town
Rarity and Lyra are both artists
Applejack and Carrot Top are both farmers
Fluttershy and Cheerilee are both a bit short on social life
>>304903304903 man this is hard
honestly, i like it as 'stormy weather' as it can represent raindrops' emotional turmoil - how quickly she can lose her temper and become a whirling storm of fury - and the general demeanor of this world - the harsher tone often results in our protagonists being forced to 'weather the storm' as it were.
(yes, raindrops is working on her anger issues, but they're still there and they're a big part of how she deals with everything)
also, this: "do not wait for the storm to pass. dance. dance in the rain."
>>304844304844 How's about when I was young I was too jerky to keep any friends Does that work?
Jerky is a real word, but it doesn't feel like a real word, though...
My little pony...
My little pony -
But you're all here and now I can see:
Stormy weather, lots of mail
A musical bond, caring and fair
Teaching laughter, it's an easy feat,
Do you know you're all my very best friends?
Of course, we don't, strictly speaking, have to follow the main theme. There are other songs out there...and given how dysfunctional everypony's friendship is in the Lunaverse (comparitively), can't you just see this?
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year
I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
Like I've been there before
'Cuz you're there for me too...
Yeah, its the Friends theme. Where's Trixie? Well, a later part of the song actually fits her better:
No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst I'm best with you...
And now I wish I had video editing skills... darn you, RDD! *Shakes fist in air*
It's what I do.
Friends theme, I'm not sure whether to find this humorous or horrifying. As for the further modified original intro...
"Friendship never meant that much to me
but you're all here and now I can see"
...I really like what you did with those two lines, though oddly I think they'd work better for the official version. L!Trixie, being the attention whore that she is, seemed reasonably aware that her lack of friends left a void in her life, even if her view of friendship was rather superficial and shallow at the time.
I suppose it could still work on a deeper level. Friends not meaning much can just as easily refer to lack of understanding what true friendship is all about. That like many in the Night Court she aspired to be part of, Trixie viewed friends as a means to and end, a way to gain prestige and influence. Not sure most readers would dig down for that subtler meaning, then again, it is only brief didi that most would just gloss over to begin with, and even the original lines in the official version tend to get horribly misinterpreted by overly literal thinkers
My brain has melted. I like RDD's thing, though the friends theme could also work.
I'm just amazed at how much [strike]over[/strike]thought is being put into this. I'd be happy to see this become the new Lunaverse theme!
>>305066305066 I like your version. I think the main theme is just fine since it's short and everybody here would know the music behind it. I for one don't know the tune for the Friends theme for exemple. The main theme is both short enough not to be bothersome when written and familiar, I think it's a winning combination.
I don't partcularly like the 'lots of mail' line that much. How about we switch Ditzy and Carrot Top around and go with:
'Stormy weather, lot to share
A musical bond, of love and care
Teaching laughter, it's an easy feat
And magic makes it all complete
I'd change "lot" to "lots," but otherwise I think we've got a winner here.
>>305326305326 great! I also considered 'fun to share' and 'hopes we share'.
My little pony -
Stormy weather, lots to share
A musical bond, with love and care
>>305326305326 I dunno about you but I was thinking of editting my story with the new version.
Well that loses my correlation of AJ & CT as both farmers, and Ditzy & Pinkie as knows everypony, but I won't make a fuss about it if this is what everyone agrees on. I will miss Ditzy's comical non-sequitur though, but in the new verse I might go for "with love and care". That said, I too was planning to amend the song to my story, probably at the end of chapter 1, which is a big reason I started this thread. Now in glorious magical technicolor...
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...
If we're finalized on the latest revising, I can redo it, and make a copy/paste version available
Hmm..."with love and care" might flow better...actually, it definitely does. But I do prefer the "lots to share" over "lots of mail."
Okay. Hands up: who likes this final revision?
*Raises hand*I like it.
Me. I like it. It's kind of awesome.
>>305731305731 *raises hand* I'm still stunned some of you manged to put it together. it's one of those extra steps most wouldn't think to do...
>>305731305731 I like it.
>>305731305731 >>305749305749 >>305769305769 >>305776305776 >>305905305905
Five in a row, well consensus is looking pretty consistant, and Fizzy seems to have already made the transition. The new Ditzy line is even growing on me, I can just picture how it would be a scene of her giving Dinky a hug if it were an animation.
Now I know it might be getting late in the game, but I'd like to bring up one more part. We've revised Trixie's opening lines, but not her closing ones. I think that, "magic makes it all complete," is a perfect thematic line no matter what universe one calls home, and there aren't all that many great sounding rhymes to lead in with so, "it's an easy feat," probably gets a free pass, but that still leaves the final close.
I would like to propose something like "How'd you all become my very best friends?". The original line expresses Twilight's need to reassure that the other M6 are indeed her truest of friends, but for Trixie I think it might be better if she's instead questioning how they all became friends in the first place, as it rather snuck up on her what with how much of an abrasive jerk she kind of was during her festival scheming. Not going to push the matter, just putting it out for consideration.
>>305731305731: I like it! I do like 'lots to share' over 'lots of mail,' myself, but both lines work well.
I think the final line works fine as is, personally.
>>305946305946 For the thematic principles I like it. Problem is the word 'become' includes the very harsh 'c' consonant that breaks the flow of the line just as the song is winding down. I don't know how to explain it well but if you sing it out loud it just feels off compared to 'do you know you're all my very best friends' where there isn't any harsh consonant in there.
You're not wrong. I knew it was a bit of a rough fit when I brought it up, but I still thought the basic idea was worthy enough to bring up for consideration and that even if that exact line didn't work there might be a good alternative out there.
Maybe, "How'd I ever make so many good/true friends?" The letter 'k' is still a bit harsh, but less so since it isn't the stress point of the word.
>>305955305955 I as just thinking about it and considered 'How come you're all my very best friends?' or "Why are you all my very best friends?' but yours is also good. I guss we can wait for the others to weight in.
Also good options, though the syllable count on your second line seems a bit low, maybe "Why are all of you my very best friends", or "Why are any of you even my friends".
>>305959305959 It's true it's a bit low but its easier to fit into the song by elongating syllables on short words. Also I don't think it sounds right without it finishing with 'best friends'.
Fair enough, though to make a point, with Trixie I kind of feel like "true friends" or maybe "real friends" is a better fit because it highlights one of the key differences in her and Twilight.
Even in the maneline, Twilight was a rather social recluse before coming to ponyville. She never bothered to even so much as try making friends, and in fact so no point to such a troublesome effort when she felt her time could be better spent studying.
Conversely, Trixie is a every bit the extrovert and something of an attention-whore. She did try to make friends in the past, or at least superficially facsimiles there of, but no pony could ever put up with her abrasive personality or if they seemed to it was only so they could try taking advantage of her position as Luna's apprentice. Thus for Trixie it might seem that it should be the trueness of her new found friends that most impresses upon her
I think "How'd I ever make so many true friends" works.
My little pony, My little pony...
My little pony ~
Right, I'm editing my stories to have this version. I guess that makes this an executive decision? I dunno.
Been thinking on how the opening theme's video would go, incidentally.
Clearly it starts at dusk with Trixie sticking her head out of a train's window and watching it pull into Ponyville. Instead of Rainbow Dash providing scene transiton we'd use steam from the train. Then Trixie getting off the train and seeing all her friends there, more-or-less just like in the original opening. Then with cuts:
- Raindrops bucking a dark cloud
- Carrot Top pulling up a carrot and adding it to a large cart she has;
- Lyra rockin' out on her lyre with BonBon in the audience;
- Ditzy Doo in mail mare uniform giving Dinky a big hug
- Cheerilee with her class
- "And magic makes it all complete" they try to hug-tackle Trixie, but it's an illusion; we swing to see her laughing at them from a few feet awaybefore they perform a second, more successful one, knocking them all down below.
- And we close on Luna watching it all through a magic mirror and smiling, then cut to the mirror and see half-heartedly Trixie flailing beneath the ponypile (though laughing).
And of course we liberally sprinkle background ponies and secondary characters. Raindrops' part would have Rainbow Dash in the background; Ditzy Doo's scene could have Fluttershy; the train car that Trixie's in would have Pokey Pierce; Zizanie would be lurking in the shadows somewhere...
At what point does this stop being theoretical and we start seeking animators and singers?
I dunno, I don't even know where to look for such things. If'n anyone has the connections, though...