2nd May 2013
2nd May 2013
I kind of had a bad day at work and was thinking about stupid sexy Chrysalis, and then I wondered if there was a stupid sexy Trixie tag on derpibooru, and then my mind said SHIP THEM so I wrote this in about an hour and my god it is really late but like I said I had a bad day and went to some dark places but then I wrote this at the same time so maybe life isn't completely awful.
What, you want a plot? There is no plot. There's ponies kissing and stupid sexy Chrysalis and peanut butter toast. That should be all you need.
Every child has a moment when they must come face to face with fear. It is a moment predicated in growth and exemplifying growing up. It is a moment that can define a childhood, for good or ill.
For Dinky Hooves, that moment has come.
Winning entry of the January 2013 writeoff. (Mature link)
When your life is a stack of suckcakes covered in angst syrup and the world turns its back on you after it kicks you into a puddle of hate toast with rejection margarine and the marmalade of loneliness and your parents are completely and totally dead, being a brony can seem meaningless. God, I'm hungry now. Sometimes all we need is a horse -- a great big one -- in a box to reinforce our own self-imposed martyr complexes.
A parody of My Little Dashie, in case you couldn't figure that out.
See what actual, living bronies are saying about My Full-Sized Goddess Horse!
"This is a stark commentary on the self-destructive and delusion-wracked nature of Major Depression, as well as the ephemeral routes of mental escape in which one finds some momentary relief from the endless downpour of despair and hopelessness they experience with this disorder." -Cupcakes
"This is an actual, for-real quote from ROBCakeran53, author of My Little Dashie." -not ROBCakeran53
"I don’t think this story is fit for Equestria Daily, nor do I think that it will ever be acceptable." -Equestria Daily Pre-Readers
"You truly have a proper grasp of diction!" -MallaJong1
"...My Full-Sized Goddess Horse is a fundamentally entertaining, messageless tale with impeccably-crafted prose." -Amit
Reviewed by the actual, for-real Seattle's Angels!
Sea Wishes is the new Pisces, which would be great if she knew what that was. But now she has no choice but to make the best of her new life with these twelve, make that eleven, other ponies: hothead Taurus, confusing Gemini, enthusiastic Cancer, eccentric Leo, glamorous Virgo, uptight Libra, angry Scorpio, friendly Sagittarius, motherly Capricorn, listless Aquarius, and standoffish Aries.
But as she struggles to learn just what it means to be bearer of a Zodiac Mantle, her life continues to change around her. And as it becomes clear that all is not sunshine and rainbows in Zodiac Hall, she must delve into these ponies' pasts, ask painful questions of her new friends, and ask herself whether she can learn to love when life has so little left in store for her.
(Based on the Hub's "ponyscope" images, and absolutely not on the actual zodiac. Description and tags subject to change without warning.)
This a cute story about Fluttershy being adorable and going to Narnia and meeting Aslan and helping him defeat the Ice Queen because I haven't read a Narnia book since the first one and that was back in tenth grade so I really don't remember it at all because I found it tedious. But here's a crossover with it. And there is absolutely no swearing, I TOTALLY PROMISE*.
Not a sequel to Fluttershy Goes to Hell**.