Slice of Life
Saw the bit with these two in the episode and I almost broke my face from sqeeing. I've always shipped Snails and Twist, but I think this pair is pretty cute too. Feel free to rate, comment, the usual jazz.
I submitted this to Equestria Daily, but it didn't get accepted and I could use some help making it better. Here are some things they suggested that I could use help fixing. Please comment.
1. From their reply: "Chowder himself comes across as earnest in his desire to tell Twist about his crush, but other than that we learn almost nothing about him. You have a marvelous opportunity in front of you to be one of the first authors to develop a personality for this character. In leaving him relatively blank you leave the reader wondering why they are interested in following along with him on his journey to write the card. Why not explore farther why he has a crush on Twist? Why not let us know a little more about his background? How does having an uncle who works in a fancy restaurant affect him? You mentioned his love of/ability to identify cheeses...why not expand on that and make Chowder a more sympathetic character?"
2. Twist's lisp being overdone
3. Horte Cuisine's accent needing some tightening
Thank you in advance for any help you can give me