Hi. Name's Church. I'm not a brony and I hate ponies! They ruined the internet! But here I am! In the magical land of Whatever-it's-called! Stuck in Rainbow Dash's body, and being tortured with adorableness! MAKE IT STOP!

Sup ponies, I'm the one and only Rainbow Dash! And uhh... I don't even know where I am... and what the hay am I?! Mother of Celestia! I'm a colt!

Both sides are based on actual roleplays! Chapters will alternate between Church and Dash.

Should update regularly. Most of the chapters are written already!

Rated Teen for swearing and pony hating. Character tags will be added as they appear... (hint hint)

Preread by these awesome people:

Muncheru

Jamlamin

Lake Superior they say never gives up her dead, when the gales of November come early...

Or does she? The ship and crew that braved the storm went down, but only one body was ever found. What if the crew wound up you-know-where?

Based (extremely loosely) on the true story. Mane 6 will show up next chapter.

After last year's failed Starswirl the Bearded costume, Twilight designs a new costume -with magic- that the whole town is sure to love... What could possibly go wrong?

Teen gore tag only for zombie description. A little Nightmare Night one-shot for you! Enjoy!

I'm a spiteful old man. I've spent my entire life trying to fulfill my wish. The same thing every one of us wants.

The year is 2070. I'm the last brony alive, 82 years old. But I did it. I created the portal. And I'm jumping through. No regrets.

"This is a wonderful story. I really hope you keep it up." - Techogre

"...genuinely sad, kindhearted, and hilarious as well." - Kestrel6

"5 Moustaches out of 5" - TheDemiGod

"A tear comes to my eye." - drnachos

"...this is probably going to end up becoming the new standard by which I judge all other stories that I'll ever read. This one is that good." - CanterlotGuardian

"I am literally in awe." - Furstreak

"I don't normally enjoy HiE fics enough and this one is just fantastic." - Korban

"You've essentially made a treat entirely out of ingredients I don't like, and despite that, I like it." - ambion

"This is the best written FiMFic I have ever read." - Fubaru

WHY DOES EVERYPONY THINK I HAVE A KITCHEN?!

I mean, um, hi, my name's Fluttershy. And I don't have a kitchen. But um… everypony seems to think I do… So here's my story about the day when everypony suddenly realized it… I don't know why it happened all on one day, but it did.

Really! It's not! An epic space battle between Zim and Dib leaves them both (plus GIR and Gaz) stranded on a strangely Earth-like alien planet on the other side of a wormhole. Now Invader and Defender of Earth must work together with the strange natives to get back to their precious Earth, or will they be too busy being at each other's throats? Or will that just be Gaz at Dib's throat? At least this wormhole didn't have a walnut-eating moose... or does it?

The fourth wall has been broken. In fact, comlpetely destroyed. Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Lyra pop out of a portal and try to make peace with us humans. How does the government handle the aliens? How does Celestia handle diplomacy? Why does one army General think something is amiss? Will any human notice before it's too late?

One-shot, no gore or anything, it's not that dark. Was meant to be a one-shot, but continuing it slowly.

Name's Gilda. Ya know, me n Dash did a bunch of crazy stuff back at flight camp. I remember this one time when we... eh, maybe I should start at the beginning... how we met.

A continuation of Dash Eats Meat! (Reading not necessary)

Name's Gilda. Ya know, me n Dash did some crazy stuff together at flight camp. But this one time, I wasn't so hot on Dash's little craving at lunch. Hey! Don't gimme that look! I didn't MAKE her do it!

Short one-shot. Another something I had stuck in my head.

In MY travels, I meet a girl in a hotel bar. One thing leads to another and the next thing I know, I'm in Equestria. Wait what?

I wrote the 2nd (and final) chapter in 1st person, and rewrote the 1st chapter in 1st person. Don't think I'll be doing 2nd person again.