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What's better than one phoenix? Two phoenixes.

What's better than two phoenixes? A houseful of them, unless it's your house. Then you have a problem.

Rarity has a problem.

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The earth had belonged to the People since time immemorial, until the ponies came to push them out. For centuries, they have hidden in the forest and the hills, slowly losing ground to their enemies.

But now the gods have chosen two young warriors.

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An ancient enemy has escaped their bonds and threatens to destroy the entire world in a black night of chaos and uncreation. What Equestria needs is Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony.

Unfortunately, what Equestria is getting is Princess Luna's rather dangerous-sounding 'Doom Patrol'.

Luna! Derpy! Princess Erroria! A weird-looking cyclops! They and the rest of the animation error ponies must race to save Equestria from the doom that awaits. But it's a task they can't possibly hope to achieve.

Because their enemy is... Nobody?

[NOTE: This story is very loosely inspired by Grant Morrison's 'Doom Patrol' comics from the 80s; absolutely no knowledge of it is needed to enjoy this, so don't get scared off!]

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Captain Scootaloo of Equestria's Royal Air Force has been assigned the mighty Helicopter-Tank-Castle-of-Chickens for a special mission: Rescue Princess Rainbow Dash (Celestia's daughter, duh) from the clutches of the Shadowbolts!

With Celestia's beard in danger of getting soggy, can anyone else perform this feat of amazing consequence? Will Scootaloo earn the princess' hoof in marriage? Will a second beard grow? Only one word holds the answer: Cluck!

Can a utopian paradise that preaches love and tolerance really make ponies happy? Does contentment really lie in free universal healthcare and open government?

Twilight Sparkle is determined to resist this happy world on a matter of principle, and finds herself sneaking off with a mare called Trixie to hate and loathe each other in secret.

Will their hate-nest go undetected? Or will they be forced to face the dangers of the Ministry of Love and the mysterious Room 101?

It's a big day for Fluttershy; a day of memories, dreams, pain and peace. But when Cutie Mark Crusaders bring her moment of calm to a sudden and terrifying end, she realises that the the three little fillies' adventures are getting a little out of control. To help them, to keep them safe, Fluttershy decides she needs to tell the story of how she met her strangest, pinkest friend - and confront some old nightmares in the process.

My name is Canvas. I remember because I wrote it in the corner of the white box. It takes twelve steps to get from the cot to the wall. And the lights hurt my eyes.

(Note: The story isn't in color because I decided to try this without the gimmick! But I still recommend reading the GDocs version.)