I'm actually starting this thread because I'm starting to get a fair amount of fanfics added to the Incoming folder by people other then the authors, so I can't really just send PM's any more to say why they aren't being put in.

Don't worry, I'm not going to rage or vent about a fanfic in this thread, just list why it wasn't added. If it's for bad grammar, if you PM me, I'll probably be willing to give examples of the problems I had with it. The same generally goes for other rejections, though I'd think most of them are pretty obvious.

In this case, the ones I'm listing in this post are all being rejected for the same reason. All of them are already in Twilight's Library. One of the simpler reasons, really.

On A Cross and Arrow
Eternal
Pony Psychology

On a Cross and Arrow is over in AU, Eternal is in Epic Fanfiction, and Pony Psychology, as well as the sequel, is in Dark. They may be buried a bit, because they were added a long time ago. But they are in there. If any of them are missing from a folder they should be in, PM me, and I'll add them to that folder.

Edit: Just to mention, none of the fanfics in this thread have gotten a downvote from me, and I plan on keeping it that way...

I think I was the one who added Pony Psychology.

Too tired to make witty post, brain not working right.

Give it a few hours to load

actually that was me, along with 2 others, I searched for all 5 but couldnt find any trace of them so I put them in incoming, guess I didnt search hard enough (or I'm blind?? )

sorry for the trouble.

437148

Sounds like most of my mornings.

437190

No problem. These were all fanfics I knew offhand should be in Twilight's Library, because with the exception of Pony Psychology, they were some of the earliest fanfics I read on this site, and Pony Psychology wasn't far behind.

What I'd recommend, though, is that if you aren't sure, before adding a fanfic click the Stat button. There's a list of groups there that they are in, so you should be able to tell from that if it needs to be added.

And I'm sure there are plenty of fanfics that I've missed a category on, so let me know if a fanfic is in the group, but is missing from a category it should be in.

437501

Ah, didn't know about the stat button, thanks and will do!

All right, this one's a bit more difficult for me because it's not something already in the library, and people less picky then me might still enjoy the fanfic.

I'm not adding Always Connected to the library at this time. Dusk Rises, A New Harmony, The Element of Laughter, and Always Connected-Aftermath require reading Always Connected, so I'll leave them out for the moment, too.

Early on, there were a number of grammatical issues, and cases of awkward phrasing, especially in the first chapter. There were also a few other things that bugged me with the story itself. (Pacing on the romance, & some of the characterization, for example) It's pretty much the combination of things that's causing me not to add it right now.

This isn't to totally tear the fanfic down. There were things I liked about it, particularly the coma sequence. And I was fairly borderline on this one, and went back and forth on it a few times. If The-rogue-shadow were to go through cleaning up the grammar issues, or have an editor do so, and resubmit it, there's a pretty good chance I'd accept it, and then start reading through the sequels and side stories, which may be better (I haven't read them). This was the authors first fanfic, and given that I have added one of their other unrelated fanfics to the group, I'm pretty sure they've improved since then.

Oh, and The-rogue-shadow, if you'd like more detailed feedback, let me know...

All right, I'm afraid I'm not adding Twilight's Midnight Violations, either.

To quote my incoming guidelines:
"Clop: Clop will only be added to the Clop Fics folder, and will only be added if it has a good plot, good characterization, is funny, or makes me go Daaaw. Generally speaking, fics involving clop between an adult and an underage pony will not be accepted. Nor will fics that are primarily about rape, for example."

Basically, Twilight raping Sweetie Belle, and later Cheerilee going rape-crazy in her classroom are enough to push it over the edge for me. And I don't think Twilight would document her midnight violations in her library, anyways.

Also, the phrase "the gentle swells of the poor mare's pony breasts were on display" just seemed very very strange to me. If I saw a pony with swelling breasts, I'd probably take them to a veterinarian...

459871

Cheerilee going rape-crazy in her classroom

I never thought I'd read that in a sentence.

460254

Didn't imagined I'd write it in a sentence, but then, I never expected to ever type the phrase "pony breasts" either. Reviewing the incoming folder is always interesting, at the least.

Sigh. All right, while I liked Eclipsis's Temptation In Sorrow, I'm rejecting both of the other two fanfic's Eclipsis submitted.

I did read them, but I could honestly tell from the summaries that they wouldn't be anything I'd be interested in.

One was Reaped In Scarlet, with this description:
"A crossover with the anime/manga Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler. You can read it without having read the manga/ watched the anime, however, I would suggest you look up the character.
A red unicorn with a chainsaw cutie mark fall's from the sky, and nopony knows where it came from.
Turns out his name is Grell, and he has amnesia. And everypony thinks he's a mare!
What will happen when darkness bubbles around the newcomer? And what love will blossom from this?
WARNING - Will contain gore, and in the future, yaoi/slash/man love/colt cuddling."

I have not watched Black Butler. I did look up Grell, and when one of the notable characteristics is the character killing prostitutes, I know I'm not going to be interested. And while I don't necessarily rule slash out, the warning at the end is really enough to scare me off.

The second was My Little Jeff: Killing Is Magic.
"Ever read the haunting CreepyPasta of Jeff the Killer...?
Strap on your saddle for a gorey, funny tale of a killer used to living in a world of hate waking up in this strange land of ponies and the magic of friendship."

Quick answer: No, I haven't. Also, I'm not that interested in serial killers in Equestria, and "Cutie Mark Crusader Murderers" is not something I'm interested in reading.

Both of these really fall under that I'm not interested in gore and death for the sake of gore and death, and am not planning on adding fics with that in the library. Add other elements I'm interested in, like focusing on the psychology of the killer, or writing about a detective on the track of said serial killer, and I may be more interested. (I loved Mercedes Lackey's book "Four and Twenty Blackbirds", which switched perspectives back and forth between a serial killer in a fantasy world, and an investigator tracking him down, for example.)

But, yeah, not adding either fanfic at the present time.

Edit: Or Happy Tree Ponies, as Happy Free Friends is exactly the type of random gore I was thinking of. Sorry, Eclipsis. If you write something that doesn't involve random gore and death, I'll probably add it...

Well, here we go again. I opened up My Name Is Pinkie, by Pinkie Primus. I was greeted by an insane Pinkamina Diane Pie singing ponified lyrics to "My Name Is Mud" by Primus to a corpse.

I'm not a fan of insane Pinkie unless it's done really well. (Mainly the type of thing that really get's into the psychology of why and how the character has gone insane rather then just having them be insane and killing people/ponies) I also tend to feel that if a song is in a fic, it shouldn't be the majority of the fic. And I'm not a fan of random corpses.

As it turned out, on listening to the youtube video, Primus doesn't do much for me, either. I'd have much preferred Pinkie singing, for example, Queen's I'm Going Slightly Mad.

[youtube=rNBWf54RvsI]

So, sorry, it really didn't click with me...

I seem to be rejecting things a lot lately, don't I? One of the cost of having this many people in the group, I suppose.

This time, I'm not including To Make A Deal With Death. Sadly, it's mainly because I didn't really care for it.

Part of it is that the humor feels forced to me at points. And I happen to find the main character rather annoying. (If this is a self-insert, sorry, no offense meant.) Not to mention gratuitous swearing.

A premise of "Drumming up business for Death" makes it sound like he's going to go on a killing spree in Equestria as well.

It's possible it'll get better later, but for now, I'll just leave it out of the library...

495017
Thanks for the feedback Just wondering if you got that the 'corpse' was just an extension of her psyche, not just a random dead pony?

501439

Well, I saw the bits with the corpse following her, then merging with her. I think I missed the description of the corpse being pink, earlier, though. And something in the lyrics could have been interpreted as the corpse being Applejack, too.

The lyrics being intermingled with the story, and playing the song in the background were rather distracting me at the time, though. So I'd been thinking more of the corpse following her as being more a manifestation of her guilt at killing them then a manifestation of her psyche.

Hmmm. Might have worked better for me without the song lyrics, and with the rest of the story fleshed out more, to be honest. (Song lyrics often detract from a story for me, actually. That's one reason why I was rather worried about having included some in the last story I wrote. Sweetie Belle insisted on singing, though... )

501450
Well who can say no to Sweetie's singing?

Well I have another one-shot in the pipeline that was going to be in the same style as My Name is Pinkie, but I'll take this guidance and put it to good use. Thanks a lot

501451

Certainly not be. Beside, she was embarking on an epic imaginary quest, and her logic that an epic quest required an epic musical number made sense to me. Of course, I made fun of it by having Ditzy be familiar with the musical she stole it from.

And no problem, Glad I could help, and thanks for taking my criticism well. Feel free to toss your new fanfic in the Incoming folder once it's done, and I'll add it to my list.

(And to be honest, I almost wish I would get negative feedback on my stories; not thumbs down, but comments on what I could have done better. Ah well, both of them have been favorited by authors I like, so they can't be too bad...)

501458
Well I shall have to add them to my read later list! Though I am a comparatively slow reader so I might take a while to get round to it

501461

Thanks! And I can appreciate that. I'm a fast reader, but I've got 114 fanfics in my read later list, plus the Incoming folder to cope with. That's one reason why it sometimes takes weeks for things to get pulled out of there.

Not to mention making time for writing my own fanfiction, and reading original fiction. I've got a copy of "Captain Vorpatrils Alliance" by Lois McMaster Bujold sitting here unread, and she's such a good author that I really need to read it one of these days...

All right, this isn't quite rejecting fanfics, but I removed a few fanfics from the group, and I thought I'd list them. All of them appear to have been deleted from fimfiction by their authors:

Songs of the Frost: Lyra Heartstrings has spent the last month fighting with her instruments in hopes that she'll be able to compose again, only to realize that the music is dead in her. What starts as an effort to rekindle her creative spark, leads her to learn of a country far to the north called Reindinhal and all about its culture. Lyra feels she has something to learn from the northern bards, and is dead-set on going. Naturally, her most recent - but close - friend Octavia comes with her. But as these stories tend to go, things aren't always what they seem. Reindinhal is a country with a troubled past ful... by Vurtax

I'd just gotten around to reading this one and adding it from the incoming folder when the author deleted it. According to their blog, it got rejected by Equestria Daily and is being reworked by the author. I'll be watching for it, because I was ready to feature it as it stood...

Rain, Rain, Come Again: After a prank gone too far, Twilight meets Derpy out in the rain. The two form a fast bond, and Twilight soon learns that there was more than meets the eye when it came to this cross-eyed pony. ... by FrankBrolly

The author didn't think any of his fanfics were written well, and deleted them all. Which is a shame, because if this was the one I think it was, I quite liked it. Also, there isn't nearly enough TwilightxDerpy fanfiction out there...

The Friendship in the Shadows: When a mysterious artifact is found underneath Canterlot Castle, ponies all over Equestria begin going insane and turning evil. When confronted with the evils of the distorted ponies she once called friends, Fluttershy has to swallow her fears and gather her courage. Immune to whatever is infecting the other ponies, it's left in her hands to save Equestria. Join Fluttershy as she overcomes the challenges ahead of her and confronts her greatest fears, all with the hopes of bringing Equestria back from the brink of self-destruction.... by jasontaylorblogs

The author of this one did post on the group that he didn't think it was that good, so I'd assume that's why it's gone.

Melancholy: She’s a pony who prefers to remain in the background, yet one day she just can’t take it no more. This is her memo to herself, a note about the state of the world she perceives, her intuitions on the fundamental truth about Celestia’s Equestria. The sequel is Morose... by CloppleJack

This apparently is now one chapter of Archaeology, so I'll add that to the incoming folder, and put it back once I've read it.

My Little Dinky: There are a lot of adjectives the ponies of Ponyville could use to describe Ditzy Doo: Kind, hard-working, clumsy, reliable, funny-looking... But a mother? This last one surprised the pegasus as well, since she does not have a special somepony of her own. Nevertheless, a child of her own bounces into her life. How will she manage? And where are the baby's original parents? A different take on the origin of Dinky, and how Ditzy grew to love her newfound daughter.... by Sir Cyrus

He apparently deleted it because he didn't like his original ending and couldn't figure out a new one.

Prances with Ponies: Kevin Costern is a human in Equestria. But how will he deal with natives that don't speak English? Check out the sequel, "The Studies of Equestria: The Pony, the Brother and the Everfree Forest" ... by Typewriterpony

The Studies of Equestria: The Pony, the Brother and the Everfree Forest: In a follow up to the best-selling fiction novel, "Prances with Ponies: Stumbling into Paradise," Kevin Costern brings us a new story that weaves biology and sociology with the powerful narratives of personal tragedy, betrayal, and intrigue, by using imagination and detail in a way that grabs readers' attentions from the first page. Inspirational and heartwarming, this latest addition to his travels through "Equestria", the magical land populated by ponies, is akin to classic tales, while being as much a c... by Typewriterpony

These were both HiE fanfics, and the author completely deleted every copy he had of them, so they are gone for good. IIRC, what stood out about them was having the main character unable to understand Equestrian, at least initially. I've seen other fanfics do that, but it's pretty uncommon.

This is just one of the semi-rejections that I started out the thread with, really. The Cobwebs Of Ignorance was in the incoming folder, and, as a matter of fact, I'd already added it into the group previously, most likely when I favorited it.

It was, however, missing from the Melancholia folder, so I added it there. That folders actually likely to be missing a number of relevant fanfics, because I added it long after a number of the other categories...

Um, have I mentioned yet that I generally do not accept fanfics that involve sex between an adult and a foal into this group? That goes doubly if the adult is Cheerilee, incidentally. A teacher is put in a position of power over her students, and certainly shouldn't be abusing that trust.

So yeah, it may very well be well written, but I'm not adding The Bell Tolls for Love. Or its sequel, incidentally. I'd personally suggest submitting it here instead.

I suppose I should actually work on clearing the Incoming folder out now that it's a new year. I've been putting it off, writing fanfiction, and things like that.

And at the top, we have a familiar looking piece, The Garden of Love, by Kirakina. I actually rejected this one early on, when it first came out, before I had this thread going.

It was originally rejected because there were enough grammatical problems early on that I really didn't get very far into it. It's possible that someone with more of a tolerance for bad grammar may like it. It does have 13 likes, and only 4 dislikes, after all. Unfortunately, the first chapter looks the same as it did back then.

This is what I get hit with when opening chapter 1:

Twilight sparkle slowly walked up the tower thinking about the day before when she had seen him, the colt with the blue mane and the beautiful pure white coat. She did not even know what his mane was all she knew was she thought she loved him, well as much as s foal could love. She sighed, “What is love anyway…” Twilight finally reached her bedroom, the books neatly scattered all about and the bed covers smooshed up to make some semblance of being made. She smiled as her eyes fell on her best friend in the whole of Equestria, Smarty Pants. The doll her brother had so lovingly made for her when she had moved away from their home in lower Canterlot.
That day was full of hugs and kisses but mostly tears, her mother had told her that she would find a house closer but she had not yet. This was a hard time in Twilight's life, she was sure she loved the colt; she had given a nickname Blue.
As twilight sat caught up in a web of dreams and memories playing with Smarty Princess Celestia flew in the open window. She had sensed the tension in her new student and worried it would make her upset. Therefore, she flew in to see what was wrong

The mistakes are minor, but there are enough of them to make me seriously have trouble continuing. While her new chapter still has capitalization problems, it looks better, so if she goes through and fixes up the first two chapters and resubmits it, I'd be likely to accept it. Something closer to this at the beginning would be a good start:

Twilight Sparkle slowly walked up the stairs to the tower thinking about the day before when she had seen him, the colt with the blue mane and the beautiful pure white coat. She did not even know his name. All she knew was that she thought she loved him, well, as much as a foal could love. She sighed, “What is love, anyways?”

Twilight finally reached her bedroom. Her books were neatly scattered about in piles, and the bed covers were smooshed up to seem at least somewhat close to having been made. She smiled as her eyes fell on her best friend in the whole of Equestria, Smarty Pants. Smarty Pants was the doll her brother had so lovingly made for her, and had given her when she had moved away from their home in lower Canterlot.

That day had been full of hugs and kisses, but mostly full of tears. Her mother had told her that they would find a house closer to the castle, but she had not as of yet. This was a hard time in Twilight's life. She was sure she loved the colt. She had given him a nickname, Blue.

As Twilight sat, caught up in a web of dreams and memories of playing with Smarty Pants, Princess Celestia flew in through the open window. She had sensed the tension in her new student, and was worried that it would make her upset. As such, she had come to visit in order to see what was wrong.

Mind you, the cleaned up version still has a few issues. The second to last paragraph is pretty scattered, for example, and could probably use to be rewritten, talking more about being separated from her family, her feelings towards the colt, and why this was a hard time in her life, just bringing all the pieces together. I wanted to keep things fairly close to the original text, though, and I'd still accept it without taking care of that.

Anyways, I really do hope Kirakina goes over and revises the fanfic and resubmits it afterwards. I recommend going over to the Looking for Editors group, submitting it there, and getting someone to go through it and revise the fanfic.

Or, of course, if anyone reading this is an editor, and feels like pming her and volunteering, the worst that could happen is that she says no...

And then we have Dashed Thoughts, by Chevan. This was pretty close, and I've gone back and forth on this.

The author isn't a native english speaker, and the first two chapters could use some work because of it. On the second two, it's a good deal less noticeable, probably because BigMacDavis was proofreading for those, as well as his english getting better as he writes.

My suggestion would be to ask BigMacDavis to do a pass over the first two chapters as well, and then resubmit. If they were just revised a bit to make them more readable, I'd accept this without issues...

And so we have Rescuing Twilight, by Halfcrescent Times.

Twilight's been missing for a long time, and no-one bothered to ask what happened to her. Seems she's actually been up in a space station. Holes have drilled in her horn, and cables are connected to strange machinery. And for years she's been here, used as a battery, and being mind-bucked by aliens this whole time.

Really?

Sorry, really, really could not get into this... YMMV.

452247

Well, these 5 fanfics look familiar. Judging from the first chapter or two of
"Always Connected", it looks like it hasn't been edited since the last submission, since I recognize "Rainbow dash", "Sweet apple Acers", and other issues. I'm removing them from the Incoming folder again...

And the-rogue-shadow resubmitted Equine Vampiris. Despite what it may look like with my last comment, I'm not rejecting all his fanfics. As it happens, though, Equine Vampiris was already in Twilight's Library, so I'm removing it from the incoming folder.

And then we have I won't accept no for an answer. Um, I hope you'll accept no for an answer...

Sorry, wasn't generally too fond of this. Generally there was too much exposition, and too much telling, not showing. Dialog was rather clunky, and often went on for far too long.

However, lets see what Twilight thinks:

-----

“As you know, today I’m helping Rarity make dresses. I’m also going to take the opportunity today to ask her to be my special-mare. It’ll be the perfect time, I’ll be alone with her. She won’t suspect anything. I’m going to pick up the chocolates I ordered yesterday from Sugar Cube Corner. And then I’m going to pick up some flowers. I’m going to enter her Boutique and offer her the flowers and chocolate. While she’s happy from receiving those gifts, I’m going to ask her to be special-mare friend. What do you think Twilight?”

"First of all, Spike, why are you telling me things I already know? And you seem to be repeating yourself an awful lot." Twilight frowned. "You could have easily just said, 'Hey, Twilight! Today, when I go help Rarity make dresses, I'm going to give her flowers and chocolate, and ask her to be my special mare-friend. Do you think I have a chance?'. I'm not sure why you're giving a whole long lecture about it. I thought that was my job around here."

Spike turned bright red. "Er, I meant about my plan to woo Rarity."

"Oh." Twilight inspected a scroll on her desk. "Well, you know that I had no friends until I moved to Ponyville, and prefer the company of books most of the time. Why would I know anything about dating?"

"Point taken."

----

Later, things got very melodramatic, too much so, as Rarity breaks Spikes heart while acting fairly out of character, and again, lecturing rather then talking normally. With the occasional grammar and spelling error along the way.

The events during the first two chapters could easily have taken up more chapters, and probably should have, as things moved too fast during the scenes that are really supposed to be the focus of the fanfic. And there were other things that bothered me, like this:

As Spike was lost in thought, Rarity saw the vial of poison in his hand. Without thinking, she used her magic to knock the vial out of Spike’s hand.
“Spike! What were you thinking!? Why would you even attempt that?” Anger and worry in her voice.

My first thought, honestly, was to wonder how Rarity knew it was poison. Admittedly, Spike was talking to himself for some reason in this scene, but she wasn't paying attention till after the bits about killing himself...

So, yeah, unfortunately, I didn't care much for this one. I hope this was useful, since I tried to isolate some of the things that were bugging me about it. I know Seven81493 has this favorited, so opinions may vary...

635074 I actually have it favorited because he's my friend though.

660187

Ah, alright. I did include one of his other fanfics in Twilight's Library, and the main reason I haven't tackled the other three in the incoming folder yet is I wanted to make sure I wasn't letting my opinions about this one influence me...

Sometimes I wish I never posted to this thread. But then a lot of the point of this group would be gone if I accepted everything. I liked the authors handle, ChaoticNote, immediately on this one. And Blowing Through the Pages has a pretty good like to dislike ratio. I wanted to like it. Ah well...

So, my first impression, naturally, is the short description:

A pegasus tries to discover himself after being intergrated into a society of magic. Also, bad guys are trying to ruin his day

This is why you need to triple-check your descriptions, especially since the short descriptions are being used more these days. I recall putting off reading another fanfic in the Incoming folder for a long time because the phrase "to lover her" was in the short description.

The long description is better, but gives away more then has actually been posted of the story so far. We also find out that it's a ponified version of another work of fiction he was writing, which, in retrospect, was a warning sign. That can be done well, but can easily add issues to the story.

Another warning sign is the simple fact that it's clearly going to be a story about a magic-using pegasus. OC's that break laws of the universe are never a good sign. Still, I liked another story about an earth pony who's special talent was magic, so it could still have ended up as something I liked. (Wish I recalled the name of that fic. The earth pony couldn't do magic, but was wonderful at magical theory.)

So, first paragraph, where key first impressions are made. The first few paragraphs are honestly the ones you have to pay attention to the most, as they affect your viewpoint of the whole story:

Kenta Silvercast lied on his bed, trying to embrace the warmth of its soft sheets, but not even the pillows can sway him from his despair. The last couple of days have been Tartarus for him. Where does he even begin? It all started when his dad left on some sort of mission for the Magistrate Academy Council. The MAC was the third most powerful group in Magistrum. The first being the rulers of the country: Prince Maelstrom, Prince Typhon, and Princess Gaia. The MAC acted as the council of advisors to the Princes and Princess, as well as the right-hoofed ponies of the Academy’s Arch Mage.

First, the character name. This is not a pony name. This, in fact, looks like a typical overblown D&D character name. I should know. I've rolled up enough D&D characters. I'm assuming this is an artifact of the story it was based off of. Since we find out way later in the chapter that he is gray, and we know from the next few paragraphs that he was a pegasus born to two unicorns, something like Silver Wing might have been appropriate.

"lied" isn't grammatically correct here. The sentence also seemed a bit purple proseish to me, and could have used some revising. I'm not too fond of Tattarus as a swear word, either. Then we get to the question he asks himself, which seriously starts off several long paragraphs of exposition. Major violations of "Show, Don't Tell", really.

If I were writing it, I would likely have described him tossing and turning in bed, with circles under his eyes, then finally giving up and rereading the letter given in those paragraphs. Have him briefly remembering his parents and the school, but in scenes, not descriptions. Then his friends could interrupt him.

Ah, yes, his friends, Anthony Noteworthy and Lily Flowers. Get rid of the Anthony and the Flowers to ponify. You even have names already associated with background ponies is you do that. Lily Flowers sounds a little Mary Sueish, anyways. Lets see how she's described:

His heart leapt a couple miles when his eyes spotted Lily. She was a very beautiful blue earth pony who didn't even try to look good, but she always caught his two lookers. Her sun orange mane wasn’t styled in any sort of way, but it looked fine the way she brushed it. Her ocean blue coat seemed to glimmer brightly, despite being in a lightless room. It happily reminded him of watching the stunning sunset on the ocean horizon. Her striking cutie mark was an orange lily with a few sparkles dotting around it. Her dazzling sea-green eyes made him want to dance a little happy jig.

He pretty much had a big crush on her since he could remember. He reminisced his very first day of school, which was both a bad and good day. He was late to class and apologized to the teacher for being late. The entire class laughed at him, and he didn’t like it that much. Except for that one special filly named Lily. She had that soft giggle that made his heart melt into a puddle (metaphorically of course).

Ok, maybe little wasn't the word I was looking for. This description is actually practically a textbook example of how a Mary Sue would be described. Fur that "glimmers brightly", and reminds him of a sunset. Dazzling sea-green eyes. Sigh.

Also, "she always caught his two lookers"? What's a looker, and why does he have two of them?

The other description is better, though things like "He once talked about dying them to make it form a lightning bolt pattern, but he decided in the end that it’ll be too consistent and unoriginal." still caught my eye as telling, not showing.

"It didn’t register to him immediately, but he noticed Anthony was wearing jeans today." I don't think ponies wear jeans. Shorts, maybe.

" Anthony was pretty proficient with technology, but even that wouldn’t sway his flank to come up with a mark of a microchip." I also don't think microchips have been invented in Equestria.

I probably don't need to go much farther. The endless exposition, descriptions, and jarring details were mostly what killed it for me. Character dialogue could have used some improvement, too.

Well, can't win them all. Hope this post is helpful to ChaoticNote as an idea of what to avoid in future writing, anyways...

I've never rejected a fic here, and I hadn't been planning on it, but then I saw this fanfic. The Casting Couch by Guy_Incognito. Now, I don't necessarily hate it, and it's rare that clopfics are accepted here anyways, but I have one major problem with it.

The plot.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "what's wrong with the plot?", but I have beef with it for one reason. Soarin' has a girl have sex with him just to get a job, and my older sister had the same thing happen to her (though she said no, of course). And that's incredibly degrading to woman anyways. As a man who stands up for women's rights whenever he can, this fic appalled me in so many ways. Now, I reserve my right to reject a fic because I didn't like it, as the rules clearly state. I don't feel good for rejecting it, but my heart and brain agreed that I should.

Now, if you have any fics that are less degrading to women, then I'd be happy to read them. Until then, good day.

P.S. I didn't dislike your fic, either. I tend not to do that.

740601

Normally I'd agree wholeheartedly with you, because, well, let's face it; there's nothing sleazier and more disgusting than a person who takes advantage of anyone (guy or girl) and I'm really, really sorry that your sister had an experience like that.

Um, that being said....yeah...the Casting Couch...isn't about that? Like....don't mean to sound like an asshole, but, firstly it's M/M so 'The Recruit' in question is actually a guy, and....well.....yeah, it's not so much a 'taking advantage of him' story as it is a 'This is a fetish/roleplaying' thing they (Soarin and 'The Recruit' do...)

741574 Well I don't like M/M either, so that played a role in it as well. Just re-submit it, and I'll have one of the other admins take a look, alright?

I'm sorry if that seems biased, but it's who I am. I'm not against gays or anything, I just can't read M/M fanfics.

741574>>741579

Actually, I'd been trying to figure out what do do with that one myself. I have no problem reading things with M/M relationships (I remember adding one not that long ago, too. Wish I remembered its name.), and I might read it if it's clop with plot, and I'm able to skip the clop portion. Straight M/M clop I have trouble reading, though.

I'd been thinking of seeing if I could have someone else look it over that liked M/M clop, but I'd been rather backed up recently, and have even been spacing the Featured Fic of the week a lot. I probably should go looking for one or two more admins, really.

756168 I actually have a friend who specializes in writing clop, and it's damn good, too. Want me to see if he might be available to look over the incoming clops we get? He's willing to do read M/M clop, as well.

756192

Sure, that'd probably help a lot. I don't really mind reading a clop fic or two occasionally, especially since one that was in the incoming folder turned out to be one I really liked. (On a plot, writing, and character development basis, that is. I probably would have read it anyways, eventually, since it was by Steel Resolve, of course.) It would be pretty helpful to have someone else looking them over, if nothing else, with the quantity of fanfics coming into the group these days.

Ummmm.... So I feel really awkward about posting a rejection in here so soon, but I rejected the story Why, Twilight?.

While no criterion by itself really made me not like it, the constant breaking of the 4th wall and speaking directly to the reader, which I understand it to be intentional, caused the potentially splendid plot-line of Twilight spazzing over the question of "Why a chicken would cross the road" (quite a Twilight thing to do, in all actuality) to be completely buried. I'm also not sure the second chapter had a plot...
So I had to reject it. Sorry.

Okay, I had to reject the story A House Divided Can Not Stand on a few grounds.

There were numerous spelling errors, grammatical errors, and even some missing words. I also didn't like the concept too much, but that isn't my main reason. My main reason was all those errors. There were simply too many, and it was hard to read more than a couple sentences in a row without spotting a few mistakes.

Alright, this time I'm rejecting The Rainbow Empire, for the very simple reason that it isn't published, and is password protected. If I can't read it, I'm certainly not adding it.

After it's published, or at least doesn't have a password, feel free to resubmit.

Alright, I had to reject On Impulse for one simple reason. It doesn't exist...

I had to reject a story entitled EQUESTRIAN BLADES today, and for a few reasons.

Littered throughout the story are punctuation errors, uncapitalized names, and even a few spelling errors.

There's also the issue of the title being in all capital letters, but that's not that big of a deal compared to the errors located in the story itself.

So yeah, I had to reject it. Sorry!

Well, Paranormal Ponies looked potentially interesting. The first chapter reads like a rough draft, though.

“Come on, there has to be a spell book somewhere that I haven’t read yet!” Twilight looked around the library for a book she had yet to read. It was 2 o’clock in the morning in Ponyville. No pony was awake except for Twilight, and she was usually up that late to study. So far, she has read every book in the library. If she can’t find anything new, then she has to contact the Canterlot library and tell them to send more books.

The lavender unicorn used her magic to look at the books one by one. She looked at every book that passed her. But they were all books that she had read.

“Come on there has to be a book somewhere,” she said, upset. “Books are like a treasure to me. I have to have something here!”

Twilight had no choice but to sent a letter to the Princess so she can report it to the Canterlot library. If only the library was bigger and had more books... she thought.

From this sample, you can probably see what I mean. Very repetitive, awkward phrasing in several places, and tense issues. And this was the revised version.

Twilight's second line of dialogue is almost identical to her first, and it really could use a lot more description. I mean, name some of the rejected tomes, vary the wording, describe "ancient manuscripts" and the like. Make it interesting.

And what exactly does Twilight had no choice but to sent a letter to the Princess so she can report it to the Canterlot library. mean?

Sorry, didn't read past the first chapter. Pretty much have to reject it, though. I recommend some heavy revision, then resubmission once the Incoming folder is open again...

Some of you may recall that my standards are a bit higher for clop then other fanfics. I suppose And That Was Just Foreplay falls prey to that.

What I stated in the guidelines was:
" Clop will only be added to the Clop Fics folder, and will only be added if it has a good plot, good characterization, is funny, or makes me go Daaaw."

This didn't seem like any of that to me. Plotwise, ponies drink then clop. The writing honestly could have used work. Most of the paragraphs seemed rather long, there were plenty of instances of missing commas, and things that could use rephrasing, or with grammatical problems, i.e. "You've got to be fucking kid me."

Not the worst, but with the lack of a plot to pull me in, all that's left is the clop.

And the clop didn't do anything for me. "He planted little puckers at first, and advanced to the point of making a suction sound every time his lips depressed from the light blue fur. "

I started picturing suction cups, and that isn't exactly something I should be picturing during clop. Might be alright for a group specializing in clop; not something I'm interested in adding right now...

Well, traditionally I post any reports of fanfiction I'm removing from Twilight's Library as well as rejected fanfics here. Since unicorn92243 has revoked all her stories after recent events, that leaves me pulling all of them from Twilight's Library.

As such, "The Monster In Apple Bloom", "From Crown To Halo", "Scootaloo's Painful Secret", and "The Road To Recovery" have all been removed, though they could easily be hanging around in a lone folder or two, given the size of our categories.

I'd also prefer no commentary on the situation in which they were withdrawn here, as I know situations were tense on all sides, and, in fact, I'll most likely delete any replies to this comment regarding it, to avoid flamewars.

Bah, I hate writing posts like this. Time to play some music:
[youtube=bNEMcZi_HxY]

Edit: Things got worked out, and unicorn92243 is resubmitting her stories. I'll add them back in later on, after they are reapproved. Just hope this stays settled.

Ok, so I read through the Equestrian Box. The grammar was weak in places, and all the humor seemed very forced, and largely depended on external references that take you out of the story. Overall, I just could not get into the fanfic.

The humor also seemed out of place, given the theme, and having the Tragedy, Dark, and Adventure tags. It almost feels like the author/s were having trouble getting in the right mood to write it.

So, sorry, rejecting it this time. I'd really recommend a rewrite, taking out most of the humor, and working on mood...

Ok, so, My Little Pony: Uncommon Connection. My first impression was the summary:

Two boy's are sent to Ponyville by an unknown source and over time the two form close relationships with the Ponies of Ponyville, learning a few new things about themselves. Finding deeper meaning of what it means to be a true friend

Well, a mistake in the first sentence isn't a good sign, and this sounds an awful lot like "two bronies visit Equestria and nothing happens". Still, I could be mistaken.

6 chapters later: Yep, two bronies visit Equestria and nothing happens. Writing is meh. Needs better descriptions, and there were some spots that were confusing, but most of all, it needs more plot.

It honestly felt very cliche, and the humans in question had very little imagination when they thought they were dreaming. It's the perfect spot for them to do things that would be very embarassed about later.

The reason for their arrival was contrived, too.(and contradicts the summary)

"I cast the 'summon brony to Equestria spell, and it summoned a brony? Didn't mean to do that. Here, let me reverse it."

Another brony shows up.

"Twilight..."

"Oops. Sorry."

So, yeah. Couldn't really make it past the sixth chapter, so I'm rejecting it...

1063629 I'm no admin, but you might get a quicker answer if you PM one of the mods, bud.

That said, from what I've seen, they generally don't reject a fic without giving a reason. I may be wrong, though. Good luck, my friend!

1063629>>1064973

While we do have guidelines for accepting or rejecting fanfics from Twilight's Library, and there are some things, like adult on foal clop fics, or, say, Cheerilee's Garden, that might be rejected immediately.

But even in those cases, there would normally be a post here saying what was rejected and why, even if it's common sense. For example, earlier in this thread:

Alright, this time I'm rejecting The Rainbow Empire, for the very simple reason that it isn't published, and is password protected. If I can't read it, I'm certainly not adding it.
After it's published, or at least doesn't have a password, feel free to resubmit.

We do have a number of admins, and it would be entirely possible for someone to have rejected it without posting, but that's normally gone over with new admins, and we'll even check with each other if unsure on rejecting something.

A more likely explanation is that this site's been 502 crazy, and that affects adding fanfiction to groups as well. If it never came up saying it was added to the Incoming folder, it wasn't. I'd try re-adding it.

And, admittedly, I do dislike a number of HiE fanfics, but keep in mind that Hands, Why Am I Pinkie Pie?, The Piano Man, Oh To Be Old Again!, Helper Monkey, Blue Angel, When A Pony Calls, and "Of Wizards, Witches, and Unicorns" are all in Twilight's Library, and I'm sure there are other HiE fics around here, too.

There isn't an ban on them, as long as it's an enjoyable, or at least interesting, read.

And the fact that I was willing to read 6 chapters into My Little Pony: Uncommon Connection should tell you that I won't reject them right off the bat. (And feel free to read that one and see if you think I'm off base with it...)

I'm going to have to reject New Pony In Town, mainly on the grounds that the main character is an OP Mary Sue who immediately makes friends with the Mane 6, has magic that rivals Twilight's, and is apparently part of a prophecy where she has to destroy a villain the Mane 6 can't.

In fact, here's what someone else said about the story, because he took everything I'm thinking right now and commented it.

Oh, hi there Mary Sue~

I'm going to review the first chapter if you don't mind.

First off Canterlot is not a kingdom. It is the capital of the land of Equestria.

First signs, besides the description, we are are dealing with a Mary Sue; this oc unicorn is having her magic compared to the most powerful unicorn we know of in the show. Is it necessary to the plot for her to be so insanely powered? Always ask yourself that.

Now we find out that she is a fashion designer of note. So apparently that's what she does for a living.

But wait when we find out her cutie mark in the next line, does is have to do with her amazing sewing or design skills? No. Instead it has to do with the Twilight tier magic we heard about. I must ask where did the Princesses hear about her magical talent?

Also I'm presuming that the cutie mark looks like the cover art but I have no idea what a half magic half book cutie mark looks like.

So totally new to this and praying I don't make the wrong call here (if I do I'll discuss it with another admin) but I'm going to have to reject Writers Block. This is on the grounds that it doesn't really follow the rules for Clop dictated by arcum42. As far as clop goes it was fine but there was really no story behind it. It was just Twilight trying to find relief.