EVERYTHING WRONG WITH SONIC RAINBIGOT

Spoilers

Duh

There were a fair number of topics on which Rainbow did consider herself to be Equestria's Greatest Authority, all of which she was happy to tell other ponies about given any excuse whatsoever and none of which she would entertain any countering opinions on because hello, Equestria's Greatest Authority over here, come on, I know more about this than anypony in the world, maybe even in history, and as I was saying... Chief among those topics were the Wonderbolts (history of, current members and past, classic tricks, noted amateur fliers who were the talk of the flight camps and somehow tragically never made it), the Daring Do cycle (canon, Expanded Universe, and fanfic inclusive), plus just recently, tortoise care.

There is one, maybe two sentences in this paragraph that is riddled with errors, mostly dealing with commas. ding 1

Her trip into Canterlot normally wouldn't have found her looking in the windows of the capital's dress shops at all: she had flown in because the latest Daring Do novel was being released, she could have it a few hours earlier than the rest of Ponyville by traveling to the point of initial distribution, and the way to stay Equestria's Greatest Authority was by being that much faster than everypony else.

Run on sentence extended by an incorrect colon. ding 2

...well, right now, Rainbow was taking the fact that her current location wasn't the visible end of the line as a hopefully positive sign. (The idea that such a line would be unlikely to turn a corner hadn't quite penetrated yet.) But something about that dress in the window of the closed shop (a little too early still for their business hours) had caught her attention, made her stop and give up precious seconds she didn't have and that was in no way her fault, it was her dumb bed for being so comfortable, and...

Just gonna give this one three sins because I'm too lazy to point out everything wrong with it. ding ding ding. 5

But this small detail had gotten her attention to the point where it had stopped her and buck it, the details had gone plural and were multiplying at the speed of parasprites...

Is there a reason to not end this sentence with a period? In fact, this happens so frequently that I'm just going to give it ten sins now dingX10 15

Daring Do novel which was only available in Saddle Arabia -- and furthermore, it was the ultra-limited print run

Inappropriate em dash, which I'm also giving ten sins for because it also happens a ton in the story. dingX10 25

Daring kept randomly turning into a manticore and an entire novel where, for no reason she could understand, Ahuizotl was continually referred to as 'Jedi'.

An entire novel or chapter? Did you get two books? ding 26

"Get out of here!" And there was a hard sharp poke in her right flank, right next to her mark. "Get away from my shop!"

"OW! -- wait a minute, your --" She was hit again, harder, lifted off before a third attempted spearing could reach her, hovered just out of targeting range. "Quit trying to horn in!"

Okay, so this is something incredibly racist to say to a unicorn, and I get that. But the fact that Rainbow Dash says that while being poked by the mare's horn doesn't quite make sense. "Quit poking me", "Get that thing away from me", and so on would have made more sense. As it is, this seems a bit more contrived. ding 27

Well, I'm on Murdocks' side now!

Fox news. ding... ding ding ding. 31

Also, if you're intentionally trying to reference that, his last name is spelled "Murdoch" ding 32

finished, the Sun had been lowered

"sun" is not capitalized. ding 32

The wince on the white face gave her the reply.

Lavender unicorn syndrome. ding 33.

"And given what she was doing to you, they were natural words, in a way

Still no. ding 34

They used to be Canterlot Unicorns Negating Traditional Swears, but for some reason, they decided that name wasn't working out...

This. -ding -ding -ding 31

For example, there were all the pegasus customers Miss Viton had turned out of her shop, not to mention the earth ponies who’d been hustled away right behind them. In fact, it seemed as if the shop door frequently had a way of mysteriously locking itself whenever a member of either of those two pony races approached.

So why isn't the shop known for being racist? I mean, you'd think that one pony would have let someone know what this mare was up to if she's constantly turning pegasi and earth ponies away. ding 32

Although there was a seven-minute break so Rainbow and Fluttershy could carefully try to explain exactly what ‘land-swooper’ meant.

Nopony else got it.

What? Why? You'd think that Twilight of all ponies would get it. She knows all about pony history. Besides, it can't be that complicated of a term. I can generally guess what it means just from looking at it. ding 33.

FINAL SIN TALLY: 33

SENTENCE: Being a part of the Canterlot Unicorns Negating Traditional Swears

(Then realizing the acronym)

The purpose and name match up perfectly.