The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group! 1,287 members · 149 stories
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Cromegas_Flare
Group Admin

Well, finally got my mind back in order. So now I can read again!

Review by: Cromegas_Flare
Reviewers tags, Teen, Language



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Well, now lets take a look here.... It a story. (of course it is:facehoof:) By....:pinkiegasp: Regidar!
It is titled The Ghost, which shows promise of being dark..... The photo could tell you that also (Why is there always blood?!). But then there is Dat description!

Every time her negative emotions overheat, Vinyl Scratch feels a coldness creep over her...

Why can't it just leave her alone?

Now, I find that captivating. Simple enough to make you ask questions, but not revealing. The description makes the story flexible, so I am eager to dig in!

Cromega's Commentary

:First and only chapter titled Broken x9 Record (That's right Redidar, I am no fun!)
..... You know, I just want to read this!

:whoa... calm down girl, lets talk this over..... oh ya right she can't hear me:pinkiecrazy:

:Ouch, and that is why you don't beat yourself up kids. Because it hurts. (Kids should not be reading this by the way, unless they are unshielded and watch rated "R" movies all the time. Then they'll be fine.

:At least she kept her teeth, that's something.

: Interesting.

in the little loop she had been in only moment before.

moments before.

: I must say, I like the verbal repetition, quite unique.

Mr. Flare's Review

Execution and Presentation.

The point of view is in Third person, concentrated on vinyl scratch. Stays constant, and the reader won’t get confused.

I have so suggestions to improve, simply because of consistency.

The overall Style follows Regidar’s typical writing style, with Vinyl overcoming a emotional breakdown.

Descriptive in action, and voice.

As for the flow, the story was a smooth read. I did not stutter in the written work.

Mood.

I would say that the mood was to the style of understanding Vinyl’s rage, then realising her fear. Other then that, I could not feel much anything.


Grammar, I noticed no Errors!
A


Video Review:

Do note you will want the volume a little lower than usual before you press play.


Rating

{I Recommend this Story}

2844909 horray! Thank you! :raritystarry:

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