Burning Day Brethren
By Cerulean Voice

Reviewed by Asilin

*pokes head in*

So…I’ve been told there’s another Crossover reviewer, and I feel bad leaving somebody to do a project by themselves when I had started undertaking it myself. So my bad for disappearing and all; depression’s a hell of a thing, and we’ll leave it at that.

Moving on…

Wanted to start my new set of reviews with something I’d been looking forward to reading. We get to read about phoenixes! Three, to be exact. This story crosses over Pokémon, Harry Potter, and MLP. I’d go into more detail on any of these, but, seriously, if you haven’t heard of these, I’m assuming you’re not reading this anyway because you’re not on the internet.

Commentary and Review combined due to brevity.

We start the story off with a description of our setting: the Unbecoming. It’s, in essence, Limbo or Purgatory, a place where the dead gather before their judgment. Of course, that means the only ones who can arrive and return from such a place are beings like phoenixes.

Philomena has arrived at the Unbecoming after going through her Burning Day; I think, from my limited knowledge of the actual show, that it’s the episode where Fluttershy is watching her. (Rinnaul has confirmed this.) Anyway, we get a bit of back story about why this is kind of a sad even for Philomena; thanks to her endangered status, she pretty much goes through her Burning Day alone when once it was full of other birds at various points in her life.

Have to admit, that’s kinda depressing. Makes sense, and I approve, but still depressing.

We get some more world-building, mostly about phoenixes’ life cycles and why Burning Days are important. There’s also a single ominous line on how phoenixes are not truly immortal:

They could also be killed.

I’ll admit, I’m rather disappointed that nothing was done with this line at all. But I’ll discuss that later.

The story continues with Philomena sorting her memories and choosing some important ones; as a non-Brony, I can’t tell you which are canon related and which are whole cloth fabrications, but they’re well done snippets and highlight important points and lessons that Philomena feels she should learn from. It definitely highlights the importance of this day to the life cycle.

It’s at this point that she’s interrupted by the arrival of Fawkes.

And here’s my only major complaint: Why isn’t he British? I mean he’s from a British setting, has a British master, he should have a bloody British accent!! (And yes, I know British isn’t an actual technical accent any more than Southern is, but you know what I mean.)

They talk a bit about their lifespans, memories, etc. and then Ho-Oh arrives.

As a note, Ho-Oh is apparently a complete ass. I’m assuming that this is a complete decision on the author’s part, but I could be wrong. Still, I kind of want to strangle him a bit. But that’s okay.

Anyway, they talk a bit more, Ho-Oh complains about the other two not being dignified enough, they learn the lesson of friendship, and then have to return to their own settings after exchanging a locket that would remind them of their day together.

All in all, it’s an enjoyable short read that establishes a lot of interesting setting, but not much else. Just three strangers sharing their lives. No more, no less.

No major grammar issues, and the narrative flow was decent, although the dialogue felt a little contrived at times. But that’s a common issue with dialogue that’s attempting to exposit.

The biggest issue here is that there’s no conflict, even though we get a semi-hint of it with that "they could be killed" line. Even though it’s a “Slice of Life” story, that still doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be conflict. It’s just a matter of scale. Slice of Life indicates a small scale conflict, like a character trying to get a muffin for breakfast and following all the minor conflicts and interruptions that are preventing them from getting said muffin. Small scale conflict that typically has a small payoff.

A good example of a story like this would be Silence like a Falling Chandelier, if you’re interested in checking out examples. But this story follows a girl over a few days of her life, with a relatively small, but significant conflict defining the whole story. In the end, while we don’t know what the final resolution might be, we’ve become invested in what her decision might be. We want her to overcome her issue.

We don’t get that same investment here. Like I said, the conflict could be small; maybe they argue over who has the best life, so the background is now presented as stories instead of forced dialogue points. Or Ho-Oh is more of an ass and forces the other two out of the pool before they’re done and now they have to resolve it by actually learning the lesson of friendship. Be creative.

Oh, and make Fawkes British.

Overall, I liked this fic. I liked the background and setting that was given here, and would be interested in seeing more of the implications of this setting twist, but that wasn’t to be in this fic. So final verdict:

Recommended