The cover art is a picture taken from the game’s official image set, a pretty intriguing piece that sets the mood of a world filled with magic and dark secrets.

The description itself doesn’t tell a reader that doesn’t know “Soul Sacrifice” much, save for the premise of there being a journey that can either save or doom the world. While not necessary, the author could go a bit further and explain what lies under the cryptic name of “Eternal Recursion”.

Style:

The story is written from a third person perspective, the two currently available chapters describing a journey of a couple of unicorn sorcerers.

The author makes it a point to set the mood with descriptions of the environment, a rather gruesome sight to behold. My only complaint is the rather torn narrative which seems to be jumping around issues and terms which, again, might be familiar to “Soul Sacrifice” fans, but totally alien and borderline confusing for an unaware reader.

Flow:

The story starts off with a good pace, introducing the characters and hinting at their journey ahead, following up with some unclear character interactions. I cannot help but feel that I’m missing out by not knowing the original game the telling is based around.

By the end of Chapter two a series of abrupt events left me utterly confused, unable to understand the motifs of the characters and the purpose of their journey. The pace faltered, as if the author decided to speed things up along to get to the interesting parts.

The above could be fixed by spending some time in establishing the basic relations between the protagonists - we are told very little about them and how they came to be, which again might just be me being ignorant about “Soul Sacrifice”.

Mood:

With the short world description and brooding atmosphere, the mood is kind of dark, one you’d expect of an action game. Our protagonists are strong and rather skilled in combat, hence there is no pressure felt in their fights, a rather disappointing fact.

Despite that little shortcoming, the story carries an air of mystery - we aren’t given many explanations, which can be viewed as both a pro and con, depending on our desire to understand the premise of the story

Reading the first few paragraphs made me cringe at the engrish, which fortunately got a lot better later on. An attentive reader will of course find typical errors in tenses and grammar.

Other than that the story has pretty good editing - some of the sentence structures are awkward but in the end it does not make the reader pause or disrupt his reading experience.

I don’t know what to think of the story. For someone who is acquainted with “Soul Sacrifice” the story might make more sense, but even that aside, there is a lot of room for improvement.

The author should work on his narration style, throwing in some more interactions between the characters to establish them properly. The second chapter is a prime example of being too cryptic and could use some more build-up/padding to explain what was going on better.

In the end, I don’t regret reading it, but I wish I got more out of it. The writing was pretty decent and the presented world seemed interesting in a twisted way. The beginning two paragraphs of world building should be transformed into a chapter of its own, explaining who was who and why - with it, the author could more smoothly introduce the protagonists and hook a reader’s attention.

3578225 Fair review. For the story however I wanted to try a new trend of writing and through many rewrites of the same story I decided to start off as I did, not including the grammar. I have yet another chapter in the writing not really sure when it would be published exactly.

Through the future chapters and stories I aim at revealing more to my readers, unfolding the many mysteries that lie within the story leaving them with less things to try to figure out in this world of a story. But of course that you and other readers will read and see in due time. Again, fair review and thank you for taking the time to review my (NWAT) story.