The cover art and description of the fic are generic at best. The author could have instead described the premise of the story, since the idea of Discord being a rogue timelord seems really appealing, along with all the implications.

Style:

While the story is divided neatly into paragraphs, the way it is relayed to us seems rushed and garbled at best. The interactions between characters stand out as being inconsistent and dull, with everyone but the Doctor himself having close to no personality of their own.

The characters just seem to take the Doctor’s antics in stride, not bothering to question anything he says or does, happy to assist him and throw themselves to answer questions.

The author should take his foot off the gas and pay extra attention to canon characters and emulating their behaviors.

Flow:

The story felt extremely rushed, as if it was built around a scene the author desperately wanted to get to as fast as possible. As such it is pretty startling how some things are omitted or awkwardly explained, with ponies ignoring their established characters and acting as compliantly as possible to the Doctor.

Again, the author should slow down and find time to introduce Equestria to the concept of the Doctor and his quirky behavior. There is much more comedy to be had from the simple interactions Derpy or Twilight could have with a hyper-active and immensely curious Doctor.

Mood:

The only feeling I could feel during the reading was “GOTTA GO FAST!” The frantic pace didn’t let me enjoy any scene, not to say that the action had any flavor in particular. Everything seemed bland and designated as a filler/intro to the action proper, at which point it would probably slow down.

With just one chapter to fend for itself, the story doesn’t put me into any mood and does not encourage further reading.

Libary. LIBARY. That single word kept annoying me during the reading - it wasn’t a mere error, as it was consistently used through the chapter. That single mistake drew my attention more than the usual mix of punctuation and spelling errors.

The awkward way dialogue is handled also breaks up the flow of reading - each paragraph of dialogue utilizes a separate passage to describe the tone of voice and actions, going so far as to even continuing with the story afterwards.

I can see that the author needs to work heavily on re-reading and editing his story.

My face while reading:

I’m afraid that this story does not do a good job of hooking the audience’s attention. While the idea of Discord being a timelord is interesting and I generally enjoy fics that put unique characters like the Doctor into pony skin, this execution was lacking.

I cannot stress enough when I say that the author needs to slow down and pay attention to every scene that leaves his pen - everything the reader reads is important and should be interesting. A chapter may portray a day, hour or month of a character’s life just as easily when it serves a purpose. Rushing it only makes the story look bland and confusing.