The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group! 1,287 members · 149 stories
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FamousLastWords
Group Admin

Gateway of the Eyes by: Drakalian

Alright, it's been awhile since I've done a review, so I'm starting with this one. This beast of a story has been on the list for awhile, so let's get to it.

The gist: A man wakes up in the land of Equestria in pony form. He has no recollection of who he is or why he is there. He meets up with the mane 6 and Trixie :heart:, to figure things out. There's a lot more going on actually, but it's over 200,000 words long at the moment, so I'm giving you the basic idea.

Now, let me start by saying this is the first Human In Equestria related story I have ever read. Ever. I've been on this site for a long time, but this is literally my first, so I don't really know about cliches in the genre. And although this isn't technically about a human (since he became a pony), it may bear some resemblence to HIE fics.

Mood: Very deep. There's a lot of emotional struggle going on here.

Grammar: I've seen better, and I've seen worse. It's primarily just misconstructed sentences or unnecessary wordage. Not a huge deal. 4/5

Style: The style, for me at least, is unique because this is the first story of this type I've ever read. So it's a nice breath of air for me.

The Good: This story is emotional, gripping, contains a healthy dose of romance, action, suspense and Trixie. Plus, the descriptions are excellently detailed for the most part.

The Bad: Like I mentioned, there's some improper sentence structure and whatnot. Also, the pacing seems rushed at times. Like with how quickly the mane 6 warm up to him (except for Pinkie Pie... she's everyone's best friend).

Now,this story is incomplete and has some length to it, so it's a pretty big undertaking. However, if you like stories with some romance, action and human-turned-pony, this will suit you just fine.

Final Verdict: 8/10

Note: This is a Mature story, so reader discretion is definitely advised.

Cromegas_Flare
Group Admin

3053164
My only request is to switch the link from the story to the Author. We are not suposed to link Mature stories in threads.

Ex.

Gateway of the Eyes by: Drakalian

That way if someone is interested, they can go to the author's user page and find the story there.

3053164
One thing that I would like to correct, the main protagonist doesn't turn into a pony.

FamousLastWords
Group Admin

3054645 I totally read that wrong then. Forgive my error. Either way, excellent work

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