The tone: For the ponies perspectives, the tone is going to be something out of a H.P. Lovecraft story, and unknowable being that hurts to look at appears. If you want to write this story I suggest reading some of his work, you can find it here. the humans perspective is rather normal, but takes note that the cartoon world lacks detail.

The setting: Small hamlet, more or less on its own. not as hick remote as the cajun ponies beyond the fire swamp, but not as easily accessed as Appaloosa.

The Twist: Basically it's what would happen if you placed an actual human in a cartoon.
First, just looking at the humans drives ponies ponies insane. Not instantly mind you, but residents of a cartoon world aren't mentally equipped to handle how much DETAIL a real human has. The human is most likely going to be going around rocking the cloaked stranger look. The more the pony sees, the faster the insanity sets in, the only safe amount that can be seen at a time, is a hand or an equivalent amount of skin/clothing. Any more places the ponies mind at peril. If a pony were to view the human completely exposed they would be rendered completely insane in 5 minutes. Every minute that they view human they develop a new Phobia or Obsession (think call of cthullhu rpg) wich can be random or pertinent to the situation. The sanity slippage can be slowed by how much the human covers up.

Second, The humans voice sound uniquely his/her own. to the point its disconcerting (nod to pony voices coming from voice actors) to ponies his/her voice is much more 'real' and can influence ponies and reality. Any thinking creature will obey commands, though they will be aware it is not of their will if the command is too overt. and it is not just commands or only optional. If he/she shouts 'stop' to a pony who's running away, they will be forced to stop. most likely rooted in place. and it isn't limited to effecting others, it can also effect his/herself. Any statements made will be taken literally by the universe at large. This results in the human modifying their speech, so they don't make statements or give absolutes. however this power isn't free of charge and is tiring to use. more on this to follow.

EDIT INSERT:(For reference the second one comes from the fact, that in the context that this is a fictional world created by humans. than a real world human would essentially be akin to a god. they would literally have existed longer than the universe the ponies inhabit. (if you are only counting the current gen equestria) if you consider the creators of MLP gods what does that make an average human? In essence anything they say would be the word of god (or a god as the case may be) this rule is to limit their power and give them a tool to actually accomplish their goals, but by making it unwisely and without an off switch it is also an obstacle to overcome. - props to wIam for the catch)

Third, the human needs to be known in order to exist. The universe is trying to shunt him/her out of it, but by being known it anchors him/her to equestria. Every pony that knows about him/her makes the universes attempts to shove him/her out easier to weather. Also every pony that knows about the human gives it power in a small way. this power is 'life energy', what the human absorbs passively is 'radiant life energy', this ponies and living creatures give off like steam just being alive. However if the human overdraws his/her reserves of power he/she will draw from his/her followers life force directly. This is much more powerful, but drains away years of life from all of the followers.

The power the ponies give him can be increased by certain conditions, proximity for one, and if they offer prays or perform acts of worship he/she also gets more power. There are other ways to increase the power input that will not be detailed here.

The human: Not brony, but not unaware of the show, he/she has watched most of it with a niece of his/hers and has decent knowledge of the show.

The human has in this story 3 objectives,
1.Cause as little damage as possible and hurt as few ponies as they possibly can. (intentionally or otherwise)
2. Stay hidden, and keep their presence from becoming common knowledge.
3. While at the same time, trying to gather as many followers as possible discreetly in order to gain power and return home.

Any takers? I got a few suggestion if anyone wants to write this

Edit Insert: Because I did a poor job explaining how the voice works, here's my interaction with wIam to clear that up.

W:I think it sounds too Mary Sue-ish. I've read a story that had this as its concept and it was pretty awful. The first and the third point are fine enough as it is, but the second? That's just overpowered to the point it's not even interesting anymore. I really wouldn't have any interest in yet another story of "invincible OC dominates everything."

If you can come up with something more limited, that's a bit more subtle in its effects than "my word is law," I think it would work a lot better. Have you considered modeling it a bit more on The Voice from the Dune novels? It has a number of restrictions and prerequisites around its use that would probably work fairly well here.

J:The idea is the power is tied to how much "Life energy" he has, this power isn't usable AT ALL until at least one pony knows about him, and it still fairly weak, it's only in the later stages that it effect reality without some kind of boost (such as prayer or rituals)

in the beginning it would only give him some influence over a ponies mind. not complete domination, and using it would be tiring. and if used to much they would risk getting shunted from reality.

The power sounds op, and to degree it is, but it is also supposed to be limited with some fairly major drawbacks. if they used it too much they would risk their followers lives, potentially killing them and thus taking away his dimensional anchor, quickly followed by death by dimensional shunt.

W:Ah, I see. Well, I suppose that seems a bit better. Personally, I think the whole "reality warping" is still maybe a bit much, so maybe you could limit it by making the only possible regular use of it compelling obedience and having the universe strike him temporarily mute if he uses for anything else. The Divine Censorship Bleep, sorta. It's in keeping with the theme you're proposing.

J:Even when it does come to warping reality it isn't supposed to be that powerful, though it does depend on the application.

For example, if he/she wanted to recreate Twilight's frog-orange crossbreed abomination (without a frog or orange present) it would take 30 ponies performing a power boost ritual (the most powerful one will go unmentioned for now due to various reasons)

However, he could make the entire town unnoticeable for a day with the ambient power of say 25

it would also be easier to shift probability than make impossible things happen.

(these numbers aren't exact just spit balling.)

4983227
That sounds really interesting though I sorta like HIE fics where the show didn't existed. It kinda depends on how the human reacts throught the journey with the knowledge and I have seen some HIE fics where the show dose exist and used that knowledge very well. Other then that I say go for it I would defiantly want to give something like that a read.

I have, in the past, wondered what we would look like to cartoon characters, though I just imagined they would be more confused or disgusted than 'utterly incapable of understanding such madness'. Nevertheless, it sounds like a nice idea.

4983227
I like the first and the third part of this. The second is just dumb superpowers for the sake of superpowers and doesn't actually follow in any meaningful way from the other two.

4983263
Millions and millions of colors. 24-bit color graphics, as a typical computer monitor is capable of displaying, have a color range of 16.7 million colors and are still literally unable to show what certain colors we see daily look like. Nuances are lost, they simply aren't within their gamut. Prussian Blue is one of these, if I translated the name correctly. It's one of the more famous ones - I've accidentally made it in the lab a few times (it's a common side product of certain reactions) and it actually does not look the same on screen as it does in real life. To a bunch of cartoony critters that are used to everything being made of one or two solid tones of color? It would probably literally be impossible to process.

That honestly sounds freaking awesome.

this. JUST THIS. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

4983273

Purple doesn't exist.

4983399
Purple does. Magenta doesn't.

4983227
The idea of a human trying to attain a cult of followers is interesting.
Even more interesting is doing that while being unable to show more then sliver of yourself to said followers.

This is a amazing idea. It makes me wish I could write.

Hmmm, I could easily see this as the real motivation behind Starlight Glimmer's insanity, and her takeover of a remote town only found on magic maps...
"Yessss, I must please Master!"

4983273

For reference the second one comes from the fact, that in the context that this is a fictional world created by humans. than a real world human would essentially be akin to a god. they would literally have existed longer than the universe the ponies inhabit. (if you are only counting the current gen equestria) if you consider the creators of MLP gods what does that make an average human? In essence anything they say would be the word of god (or a god as the case may be) this rule is to limit their power and give them a tool to actually accomplish their goals, but by making it unwiedy and without an off switch it is also an obstacle to overcome.

and as a general note, I will be writing this myself if no one else takes the helm, It's just there's another story I have to finish first and it would take a long while.

4983468
I think it sounds too Mary Sue-ish. I've read a story that had this as its concept and it was pretty awful. The first and the third point are fine enough as it is, but the second? That's just overpowered to the point it's not even interesting anymore. I really wouldn't have any interest in yet another story of "invincible OC dominates everything."

If you can come up with something more limited, that's a bit more subtle in its effects than "my word is law," I think it would work a lot better. Have you considered modeling it a bit more on The Voice from the Dune novels? It has a number of restrictions and prerequisites around its use that would probably work fairly well here.

4983471

Well, if this is Mary Sueish, then we must construct a weakness to the character.

Some kind of fatal flaw or mentality.

4983257

The reason I want it to be a non brony, yet aware is that it would be able to give them "Prophetic" knowlege, yet they wouldn't be driven to find the mane six or find contentment with their new surroundings.

They would be aware that from the perspectives of the ponies, they are a Villan, an abomination to be destroyed or banished, and would go out of their way to avoid attention, because they also know in cartoons, the GOOD GUYS WIN. They would be aware if they became the bad guy, their downfall would be written in stone.

And with the power set the human has, they are more or less typecast as a monster, what would make this interesting is using this monstrous power set for good. For example, using his reality warping powers to heal sick children.

The end result would be something akin to a benevolent cult leader, desperately trying to contain his followers insanity and trying to heal and undo the damage already done.

4983496
Personally, I'm not a friend of giving a character some kind of kryptonite in exchange for being otherwise overpowered for the story he's in. It just doesn't seem like it's good writing. Limiting and circumscribing the use of their abilities is just more interesting. It gives you an instant subplot of the character trying to find ways to creatively apply their limited power or find ways to circumvent those limits, for example. Dune's Voice, in this case, only works on people the character who's using it can actually see, because they need to use a kind of minute perception to evaluate the target's physical reactions and modulate their voice to the exact tone that will make them want to obey.

4983502
Almost like a neverending loop...you know this sorta gives me an idea of a short but all of this is your idea so im gonna let you use it first before I try something that wasn't my idea to begin with.

4983273 4983263 I always figured what the cartoon ponies see and what we see is like comparing our vision to that of a Mantis shrimp...

that's this bright mother fucker

Our eyes have three different colour detecting cones, registering red, green and blue.

the Mantis Shrimp has 12

there is literally no way we can even imagine how a mantis shrimp can see the world, yet we don't go dropping to the floor drooling with insanity after looking at it for too long, it might make you go blind from the bright colours, but not mad

so to them we'd probably just look like a cartoon depiction of ourselves

4983516
When I say "incomprehensible," I mean literally incapable of comprehending it. I like to imagine that instead of driving ponies insane, they just wouldn't be able to see a human in its natural state. Their brains just blank that area out from sheer sensory overload. That's actually something that can happen to humans in the real world, when you're looking at a giant swarm of moving objects. Certain parts of your visual field will just shut down on you and you'll completely fail to perceive it.

The emperor's new clothes, but in reverse, basically.

4983471

The idea is the power is tied to how much "Life energy" he has, this power isn't usable AT ALL until at least one pony knows about him, and it still fairly weak, it's only in the later stages that it effect reality without some kind of boost (such as prayer or rituals)

in the beginning it would only give him some influence over a ponies mind. not complete domination, and using it would be tiring. and if used to much they would risk getting shunted from reality.

The power sounds op, and to degree it is, but it is also supposed to be limited with some fairly major drawbacks. if they used it too much they would risk their followers lives, potentially killing them and thus taking away his dimensional anchor, quickly followed by death by dimensional shunt.

4983529
Ah, I see. Well, I suppose that seems a bit better. Personally, I think the whole "reality warping" is still maybe a bit much, so maybe you could limit it by making the only possible regular use of it compelling obedience and having the universe strike him temporarily mute if he uses for anything else. The Divine Censorship Bleep, sorta. It's in keeping with the theme you're proposing.

4983516
In this setting, it's not like color, its level of detail, in the real world we see mountains of details without even realizing it. with ponies you don't see individual hairs. that doesn't mean that they can't but they have to focus on the one area they want to examine. because of this, sentient beings can only handle so much detail in this context. where humans don't have a built in limit.

4983544
Well, a lot of that detail is color variations, so I think it kind of works in both senses.

4983536 Even when it does come to warping reality it isn't supposed to be that powerful, though it does depend on the application.

For example, if he/she wanted to recreate Twilight's frog-orange crossbreed abomination (without a frog or orange present) it would take 30 ponies performing a power boost ritual (the most powerful one will go unmentioned for now due to various reasons)

However, he could make the entire town unnoticeable for a day with the ambient power of say 25

it would also be easier to shift probability than make impossible things happen.

(these numbers aren't exact just spit balling.)

4983550 well that's good, though sometime you have to say, "It has to work this way or we don't have a story, so that's how it works in this one case"

4983509
go right ahead with your short, I have no problem with it. All I as is that you do it justice.

4983227 Nyarlathotep loves to cause insanity with a mere glance. And his favorite form is that of a human...

Take from that what you will.

4983560
Hm, alright then. The original pitch made it sound a lot more sweeping and powerful than that, but I think that's fairly reasonable, so I'd say you've sold me on the concept. I think that works.

well that's good, though sometime you have to say, "It has to work this way or we don't have a story, so that's how it works in this one case"

That's true. I just wanted to offer a possible additional layer to it. The idea of humans also, in addition to being impossibly detailed, looking like a raging kaleidoscope of ever-shifting impossible colors is a pretty neat idea, if you ask me. It's very Color out of Space. I like the Lovecraftian allusion there.

4983570
*Salutes*
i'll try my best since I just recently became a writer. I think I can make something interesting maybe a slice-of-life...yeah I think i'll put it down In google documents so I won't forget.

4983452 could go a lot of interesting ways, Or the human could have her take over in his/her name and try to get her to cool down a bit, try to head that train wreck off at the pass.

Though it would be interesting if her cult clashed with the human cult, like a shadow war going on and the Mane six and the princesses have no idea whats happening only that chaos is pulling equestria apart seemingly at random. and without the influence of discord.

4983572
I admit, I could have done a better job on the original pitch, and honestly didn't grasp the color angle until just now, that is actually incredibly awesome, additional layers are greatly appreciated.

4983574
Send me a link when you publish, I'd be interested to read it.

4983590
I will but I have my first story ever to deal with first. I'll even follow you so I can remember.

4983590
Thanks. If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to mention it. There is really a wonderful number of Lovecraft-appropriate things you can do with this. Like, for example, a human character with mid-length hair... as in actual hair, tens and tens of thousands of separate, distinguishable strands of it. You'd just need a scene with one good gust of wind and all of a sudden, the unholy abomination spawns an impossible number of gleaming, writhing tendrils from its skull. Practically a Dhole right there.

4983593 i'm willing to proofread, shoot me a pm

4983608
Maybe later I haven't gotten a third chapter in yet but I will keep you in mind. I also am new to the whole proofreading thing.

4983613 if you're new to it, then let me recommend that you should always have a proofeader. always. (almost) every story has one.

4983628
Why don't we talk about proofreaders in my comment section on my page. I am new to proofreaders so im goanna need your help to explain to me how that works.

4983604 That is gold, and whats a Dhole?

interesting. although i would seriously tone down the 'insanity' angle. and i would tone it down for reasons of Cannon.

when Discord was upset about fluttershy's friend tree-hugger, he threatened her with a portal to another dimension. that portal contained Sock Puppets. so, Discord can open portals to places with that level of detail. her reaction implies it was very bad, but she didnt go insane from it. just panicked a bit.

second, the cranky doodle episode, at least from pinkies perspective with the felt. that was higher detail, although it may say something about her mental stability instead.

beyond that, i would change the Voice to be more like when a child hears a Grownup speaking. the humans real advantage, is that he will be much more educated and emotionally mature than most any other creature he meets (except perhaps Celestia), and as such may end up receiving an amount of respect and awe that ponies normally reserve for the princess of the Sun. oh, and you know how little girls act around their Daddy? that reaction from mares is quite possible. the Voice of Daddy is a very potent power, but not powerful enough to change reality.

4983604 No, wait I remember now

4983638 The insanity isn't instantaneous and even when fully exposed the human doesn't cause insanity untill a minute or two has passed. also, read my comment chain with wIam, the voice is way toned down, I didn't do a good job presenting it in the post

4983650
Yup, that's the one. Spitting image, ain't it?

4983227 How long did that take to write? I read and read and next thing I know 10 minutes has passed!

4983637
Another interesting aspect that came to mind for me is the existence of human blood. In the show, characters get scratched up and general put through the wringer, but they never properly bleed. So a human who is injured would release this sticky-slick ichor that gives off a biting, metallic smell, stains everything it touches practically forever and in large masses eventually dries up and crumbles away into black dust.

And the worst part? The stuff is independently alive.

Personally, I'd find it amusing to bring in the whole "salt-lick" thing and make it at the same time perversely tempting and addictive to equines. Blood is rather salty, after all. This may not work for the setting concept, though, and is just something I thought of as a little side idea.

4983273 Well, sure, maybe they wouldn't understand us, but would they really go insane? Maybe it's just me but I feel like the mind is a bit too strong to just self destruct at the sight of something it doesn't understand

4983862
Yeah, agreed. I said as much a little further down: 4983524

It's necessary here for the sake of the story concept, though, so I think we can give it a bit of leeway.

4983774 what about muscles? When a human moves, you can see the muscles shifting under their skin, but in the show you don't really see that. From the pony's perspective it would be like something was writhing under our skin every time we moved. Combine that with the human excreting a strange, living fluid whenever it's skin is punctured might lead some nuts to believe the human's skin is like a sock puppet controlled by huge worms, or some kind of tentacle monster, or something else ridiculous.

4983774 That is both incredibly dark and perfect for this story. There are some really messed up applications you could do with that. It could be considered a "reward" or have it be part of an acceptance ritual. Associating the taste of salt (good thing) with the human.

4983728 banged it out in a few minutes, but the idea has been kicking around in the back of my head for a couple months, a lot of it is the explanation of the voice witch I shamelessly copy and pasted from the comments to explain it better

4983862
It's kinda the basis for Cthulhu mythology, that there are beings so vast, so powerful and so beyond the limits of our comprehension that just looking upon them breaks your understanding of reality. While in this context Humans on a visual level would be of a similar scale, mentally our human will have to settle for dangerously genre savvy.

Though when you compare humans as they are presented in this context, they're pretty tame in comparison to regular eldritch abominations. You look at Cthulhu for a mere moment and your brain is going to melt like ice cream on a summer sidewalk. with humans the detail and color just builds on top of itself until they cant take it anymore.

4983774 I just imagined that the human somehow ends up in the conflict against the changelings, and then he/she gets cut, and everything stops as the blood flows down and rapidly dries, and everyone's like "WTF WAS THAT STUFF" and Twilight or Fluttershy mentions it smelling salty. Just as a WTF moment that stops the fight.

4983991
That's an interesting idea, too. Mixing that up a bit more, the ponies really do seem rather boneless sometimes, don't they? Constantly bending and curving their limbs in direction that really no actual living creature would be capable of. Pinkie in particular comes to mind there. Humans, though, can't really do that kind of thing, despite having an impressive range of motion. This is rather less Lovecraft and more conventional horror, but the combination of our stiff bones and flexing musculature could probably give something unused to it the concept like a stick puppet unnaturally wrapped in writhing cords and cables - or, as it were, worms.