It started out as a normal day. I got up, got ready for work, and was out of the driveway in less than twenty minutes. I had just turned twenty-three a few days ago and the week was going pretty good so far. After dealing with the morning traffic and yelling a healthy amount of insults at the slowpoke in front of me, I pulled into the parking lot of the place I work for. It was a large building with a bunch of fancy electronics that I was supposed to keep in working condition. This meant that I often went home with frizzy hair caused by the static electricity. I pulled out a small notebook as I got out of the car, and scribbled down a few things. I brought the notebook with me everywhere because I write and draw sometimes. It helps to have something to put down notes. Placing it back in my pocket, I walked through the door and headed to the supply closet. Looking around, I spotted my tool belt hanging on a hook in the back. I grabbed it and clipped it around my waist. Taking the elevator, I headed up the 12th floor to work on some machinery that was malfunctioning.
“Goddamn don’t they know that elevator music sucks!?” I said aloud as the number slowly went up to 12. When the door opened, I stepped through onto the soft rug. I looked down with a smile at the dragon design of the highly expensive piece of decoration. I always liked dragons, but hey, who hasn’t at some point in their life? Anyways, I walked down the hall to a door marked with the number 577 above it.
Why do they even number the rooms anyway? I thought to myself. It’s not like this place is a hotel. Checking my notepad, I made sure it was the correct room before going in. The room was filled with machinery that looked like it hadn’t been inspected in years.
“No wonder this shit is malfunctioning. Look at all the god damn rust!” I said to myself, noticing that several of the machines were almost covered with the stuff. I examined the outer panels first and noticed different numbers on each one, the closest one to me bearing the number 42. Pulling off a panel, I took a peek inside. Its interior was spotless.
“Why the hell would you take care of the interior and not the exterior?” I muttered, using my flashlight to look around the inside of the machine. I noticed a switch that was flipped to the off position. Flipping it back, I listened as the machine hummed to life. I did the same for the other machines, opening up a panel and flipping the switches until the room was alive with the hum of machinery. Since I didn’t really have anything to do, I pulled out my notepad and started scribbling notes and drawing ponies. My life practically revolved around My Little Pony. I didn’t really care what the hell my friends thought. I would watch every new episode, staying up to do so if I had to. I was just starting a drawing of Vinyl Scratch when my cell phone buzzed. Pulling it out, I checked the caller ID and saw that it was my boss. I pressed the talk button and lifted the phone to my ear.
“What do you need boss?” I asked.
“Hello Christopher,” he said. “Are you done fixing those machines?”
“Ya, I finished just a minute ago,” I replied. “How come they are rusted to hell on the outside but clean on the inside? All I really had to do was turn them on.”
“We haven’t had a chance to properly replace the outer panels,” he replied quickly. “Please report to room 42.”
“I’m on it,” I replied before clicking the end call button. I slipped it back into my pocket and went back into the hallway. I stopped in the restroom to wash bits of rust off my hands and check my reflection. I looked into the mirror, studying my own curly brown hair and my green eyes. People kept telling me they looked blue, but I insisted they were green. I finished washing my hands then headed back to the elevator. Pushing the button marked 3, I pulled out my mp3 player and put on the headphones, effectively blocking out the stupid elevator music. The doors slid open a moment later, and I stepped out. I walked down the hall with my music still blasting into my ears. Stopping a moment, I whipped out my notepad and continued working on the drawing of Vinyl Scratch. I just started on her tail when I spotted room 42 out of the corner of my eye. Placing the note pad back in my pocket, I opened the door. It was pitch black inside, so I turned on my flashlight and looked for the light switch. I found it a moment later and lights flared to life inside the room. I turned and looked around.
“There’s nothing in here but a fancy door,” I said when I spotted it. It stood in the center of the room with a sign above it. The sign read “Portal #42-Enter at your own risk.”
“Portal my ass,” I said. I walked up to it and twisted the door knob. I expected it to reveal the wall behind it, but instead, it opened to reveal a gaping black void.
“Okay, what kinda prank is this?” I asked loudly, looking around the room. Hearing no response, I walked around the door. No black void appeared on the other side and I could see where I had been standing. I walked back around, and the black void was there again. I examined the edges of the door, looking for some sort of projector or something, but there was none to be found. While examining it, I didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind me, but I sure did feel it when the person pushed me through the door. My heart started pumping like mad when I never felt the ground beneath me. I was falling. Hearing the door slam, I turned my head to see nothing but blackness. As the blackness closed in, my vision seemed to go blurry (I can’t really say it did because I couldn’t see shit!). My last thought before blacking out was “This sucks…”
I woke up with the sun flashing in my eyes. Groaning, I sat up and rubbed the back of my head. Looking around, I saw I was in a small clearing with a little pool of water nearby. I crawled over to it and took a deep breath. Plunging my head into the water, I was shocked at how cold it was, but it served as a nice wake up call. I brushed some hair out of my face and looked at my reflection.
“HOLY SHIT!” I shouted, staggering back from the pool of water. Staring back at me had been a pony with grayish blue fur. I looked at my hands, except now they weren’t hands, they were hooves. Looking back into the pool of water, I noticed the green eyes and black hair with a bit of red in it. Turning my head, I saw a tail bearing those same colors.
“Wait a second… I know these colors…” I muttered. Looking back into the pool once more, I spotted a horn sticking out of my hair.
“Jesus Christ! I’ve turned into Paradox!” I cried, remembering the OC pony I had made for myself. Even while I thought about that, I remembered that I had a drawing of Paradox in my notepad. My eyes widened as I remembered my notepad. I turned around to see a pair of grey saddlebags lying in the grass. Walking carefully (I’m not used to walking with four god damn hooves!), I made my way back to them and opened one. Sitting inside was my cell phone, mp3 player, and notepad.
“Wait a second… if I turned into a pony… then I must be in Equestria!” I said, breaking into a huge grin that was interrupted by something heavy landing on my back. I can only imagine what Twilight went through when that piano landed on her. I twisted my head to see an unconscious dark blue pegasus with spiky black hair. Of course I recognized this pony too. It was an OC I made for a friend only a week ago. I grinned wickedly and walked over to the water. Turning around, I reared up and let him slide off.
“COLD!!!!” he shouted instantly, ruby red eyes shooting open in response to being drenched without warning.
“Welcome to the land of the living Tyler.” I said while I lay on the ground laughing.
“NOT COOL MAN!” he replied indignantly.
“Of course it’s not cool,” I replied. “You just said it was cold didn’t you?” I chuckled as he climbed out of the water and pulled the hair out of his eyes.
“HOLY SHIT!!!!” he cried, losing his balance and falling straight back into the pool of water.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, even though I knew perfectly well what he was talking about.
“You’re a pony!” he replied when he clambered back out.
“Have you looked in a mirror?” He turned around and froze at his own reflection.
“I look just like the pony in that drawing you made for me.” he muttered. “What was the name? Nightwish or something?”
“Ya, it’s Nightwish,” I said, remembering that he named it after one of his favorite bands. He stood there gawking at his reflection for a good couple minutes.
“So what are we gonna do now?” he asked, breaking the silence.
Okay, I was on my break at work so I decided to go and bug Chris. I walked into the large building and asked the lady at the front desk where he was. She directed me to room 42 on the third floor. Once I got through the elevator music from hell (yes, I hate it that badly), I walked to room 42 and went inside. Finding nothing but a random door, I walked over to it and opened it out of sheer boredom. Nobody told me it was a fucking portal, and I don’t read signs. So anyway, I stood gawking at the black emptiness that lay through the door, when suddenly someone fucking PUSHED me! I would’ve turned and bitch slapped the bastard but then I noticed I was standing on nothing but empty space. Ever seen Wiley Coyote? It was one of those moments, except I didn’t have a sign with me at the time.
“Maledizione!” I shouted into the dark. Most of the time when I get frustrated, scared, or nervous, I’ll curse in Italian. I was born in Italy (my name isn’t really Tyler but that’s the name I go by) but I was raised in America. My parents moved there right when I was born and taught me both english and italian. It has its perks, like I can curse at someone and they have no idea what the fuck I’m saying. I also have a slight fear of the dark, so when the door slammed shut my heart started going haywire, and I blacked out.
Back to the present. We already went over how Chris was so “kind” as to wake me up with a cool dip in that pool.
“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna see if I can find Rainbow Dash,” said Chris, answering my question.
“Hey! You’re not leaving without me!” I said, running clumsily after him (you try running on four damn hooves after you’ve walked on two feet your whole life). He laughed and picked up a set of grey saddle bags that must have been his. I spotted a black pair and managed to get them on without too much trouble.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” he said suddenly. “What the hell is my cutie mark?” I looked to see a notepad on his flank (of course... I can’t remember a time where he wasn't carrying the damn thing).
“A notepad, duh,” I said. “What’s mine?”
“Lightning bolt with wings,” he replied. I grinned at that. I always liked going fast, often speeding even if a cop was right in front of me. I wanted to fly one of those super sonic jets but decided to stick with my Camero when I saw all the complicated controls on a trip (don’t ask).
“So are you gonna stand there or are you gonna help me find Rainbow Dash?” asked Chris, who had somehow gotten a good distance away while I was thinking.
“I’m coming, hold your ponies.” HA I’m so funny... not really. It got a little chuckle from Chris but not much else, so I just followed him out of the clearing and hopefully towards Ponyville. It almost seemed like he’d been here before. He knew where to turn and which way to go at all times it seemed. I was so happy when we finally broke through the trees to a scene that would be forever implanted in my brain. We were looking directly at Ponyville! Everything was there! I could see Twilight’s tree house and Sweet Apple Acres, and everything was as awesome looking as it was in the show. I looked at Chris to see his mouth agape and his eyes darting every which way. Meanwhile, my brain was screaming at me about the irrational sight in front of us.
“This is fucking awesome,” I heard Chris say. Turning my head, I saw that his eyes were almost spinning in there sockets they were moving so fast.
“Woah calm down before your eyes fall out of your damn head man,” I told him, causing his eyes to snap to me. He stood there for a moment before breaking into a grin.
“What the hell are you smiling about?” I asked nervously.
“Race you to Sweet Apple Acres,” he said, then his horn glowed. Disappearing in a flash of light, he reappeared next to a building way in front of me.
“No fair!” I shouted. I decided to give my wings a try in an attempt to catch up. After a few failures, I managed to get into the air and start flying after him. Pressing my luck, I flapped my wings as fast as I could, and I soon passed over Chris who bore the most surprised expression I’ve ever seen. It was so funny that I almost crashed into a tree, which would’ve ended my good mood VERY quickly. I veered to the left, and ended up smacking into a branch instead, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me on the ground coughing. All that time, my saddlebags somehow remained glued to my back. My troll senses tell me magnets are involved.
“Are you okay Tyler?” Chris asked as he walked up to me.
“Do I look okay to you?” I asked after I regained my breath.
“Well you did just hit a branch going about sixty miles per hour,” he replied, trying not to laugh.
“Shut up,” I growled, getting back to my hooves. We walked the rest of the way until we saw a barn come into sight. I started to head towards it when something hit me going at least fourty miles per hour, or rather someONE. Coughing out dust, I looked over my shoulder to see a certain rainbow maned pegasus. Chris was stunned, his jaw hanging open.
“Rainbow Dash you need to stop crashing into ponies like this.” said a deep voice. I looked up to see a grey pegasus with black spots. He was chuckling as he looked at the scene. Chris also spotted him, and instantly froze on the spot. I have no idea how a pony can go pale, but Chris did. The cyan weight on my back stirred and rubbed her forehead with a hoof.
“Hehe, sorry about that,” she said, getting off me and flying up to the grey pegasus.
So yeah, we had just freakin’ met Rainbow Dash! I gawked at her like an idiot, until I saw the grey pegasus. When I spotted him, my blood ran cold and I just froze on the spot. I knew who he was, but he shouldn’t exist. He was just a figment of my imagination (but then again I’m saying this while in a world of ponies that was supposed to be just a TV show...).
“Sorry about that,” he said. “Rainbow Dash here still hasn’t gotten the hang of that trick.” He glided to the ground and landed next to Tyler.
“My name’s Storm Shadow.” DOH! There goes my rational thoughts. I began to suspect that I had actually created him. There’s no way in hell that this was coincidental. I write a story with a main character by the name of Storm Shadow and he just happens to be real? Bullshit.
“I’m Nightwish,” said Tyler.
“I’m Paradox,” I said numbly.
“You okay?” asked Storm Shadow. “You sound like you’re going to be sick.”
“I’m fine,” I replied, quickly returning to normal. He smiled apologetically before flying off with Rainbow Dash.
“That wouldn’t happen to be the Storm Shadow from 'The Mysterious Newcomer,' would it?” asked Tyler. My lack of words told him it was. Then my stomach suddenly growled, reminding me of the all important fact that PONIES DON’T EAT MEAT!
“Why did I have to get sent to Equestria when I was supposed to have a chicken sandwich for lunch today...” I complained.
“I don’t know,” Tyler replied. “Why did I have to get sent here when all I wanted to do was bug you?”
“Shut up,” I said, annoyed at my growling stomach. Considering we were in sweet apple acres, I decided to just grab a few apples. Using my magic, (it was actually a lot easier to use magic than I thought it would be.) I grabbed a few apples and gave some to Tyler. On the first taste, the thoughts of a chicken sandwich were erased from existence, it was that good.
“How come apples on Earth taste like shit compared to these?” Tyler asked jokingly.
“Probably because this place isn’t polluted to hell,” I replied, taking a bite out of my second apple. Then, just as I wish finishing my fourth apple, I heard a twig snap behind me. I whipped my head around instinctively, and saw Applejack walking towards us.
“Quick, hide the apples,” I hissed. Tyler tossed his apples into the trees behind him and started whistling.
“Howdy there!” said Applejack as she walked up. I had to use all my willpower to keep myself from tackling her in a huge hug.
“Hey,” said Tyler in response.
“Ya’ll don’t look like you’re from ‘round here,” she said.
“You have no idea,” I muttered.
“Ah’m Applejack,” she said. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres.”
“I’m Nightwish and this is Paradox,” said Tyler.
“Nice to meet you fellas and Ah hope you have a good time here in Ponyville,” she said with a smile before she walked away. I heard thuds a moment later and I guessed she was kicking the trees to get the apples down.
“Lets get out of here before she realizes we ate some of her apples,” said Tyler. I nodded in agreement and we walked out of Sweet Apple Acres.
“Where to next?” I asked absently.
“How about we go see Twilight?” Tyler suggested.
“Sure, lets go.” We walked towards the library until we stood directly at the front door. I knocked a couple times and waited for a response.
“Just a moment!” called a familiar voice from inside. A moment later, the door opened to reveal Twilight standing there with Spike just behind her.
“Hey there,” I said, trying not to squee and hug her. “We’re new in town.” I was about to say something else when Tyler flashed past me and hugged Twilight.
So much for acting normal, I thought.
“Could you let go of me please?” she asked Tyler politely.
"I don’t want to,” he stated flatly. “You’re too adorkable!” He grinned and hugged her tighter.
“Tyler if you hug her any tighter you’re going to break her,” I said, trying not to laugh. He frowned, but let go.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” I said.
“Try me,” she replied with a rather unconvinced look.
I am going to skip the lengthy and annoying explanation due to the fact that I am lazy. Once the explanation was over and Twilight had calmed down, she insisted on sending a letter to Celestia.
“Oh no you don’t!” warned Chris.
“Why not?” she asked irritably.
“I’ve read enough fanfics to know what happens,” he replied. I know the main fic he's talking about to. It's called "Through The Eyes Of Another Pony."
"Well what do you suggest we do then?" I asked.
"Prevent anyone else from finding out we're humans," he replied.
"That should be easy, as long as you can keep control of yourself," I said.
"Me?" he asked angrily. "You're the one who blew our cover by hugging Twilight with a death grip!"
"Must have slipped my mind." I'm such an asshole to him sometimes, but hey, it's funny as hell to see him angry.
He sighed and rubbed his face with a hoof. "Just don't do it again please Tyler."
"I'll try my best." Suddenly, we hear a knock at the door and then a voice.
"Twilight darling, are you in there?" asked the voice.
"Exit, stage right," I said, running into the kitchen. I was not really in the mood to meet Rarity (I can only think how much she might disapprove of my spiky hair). I could hear Chris sigh as Twilight went to open the door.
"Oh, I didn't know you had a guest today Twilight!" said Rarity. At this point I was sitting just inside the kitchen, out of sight but within earshot.
"Yes, he just stopped by to check out a book," Twilight lied.
"Well it's nice to meet you darling. My name is Rarity."
"I'm Paradox," Chris said nervously.
"So what do you need Rarity?" asked Twilight.
"Ah, yes, I just wanted to ask your opinion on a new dress I am currently working on.
"Sure Rarity! Paradox, I hope you can find your way around town," said Twilight.
"I'll figure it out," Chris replied. I heard the door shut then risked a peek around the corner.
"What was that about?" Chris asked.
"I don't want Rarity messing with my hair or anything. She's way too obsessed with that fashion crap," I replied. "I would come out of there looking like one of those pampered poodles." Chris snickered a bit at the thought, but didn't say anything.
"So what should we do next?" I asked.
"We could look for Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie," he replied.
"I vote Fluttershy," I said instantly. Chris rolled his eyes but signaled for me to take the lead. I peeked outside, just in case Rarity was still nearby. Spotting no sign of her, I walked outside then started heading toward Fluttershy's house. As we walked, I noticed something strange. There was a flicker in the air that seemed to follow us as we walked. I figured it was just my imagination and kept walking. When we passed Sugarcube Corner, (thankfully Pinkie Pie didn't burst out) I heard ducks quacking.
"There she is," Chris said, and I turned my head to see Fluttershy walking backwards and leading a small line of ducks (I think my heart exploded at the sight). "Just don't do anything stupid for once."
"Come on Chris, you know me," I replied with a mischievous grin. Without even waiting for a response, I walked over to the yellow pegasus.
"Hello," I said (How's that for not doing anything stupid Chris!). She jumped and looked around.
"Oh, hello," she squeaked (Number of times heart exploded: 2).
"My name's Nightwish," I said.
"My name's Fluttershy," she said, though I couldn't really hear her.
"It's nice to meet you Fluttershy." I held out a hoof. She responded by trying to hide behind her mane (3). I had to resist the urge to hug her right then and there.
"Come on Nightwish, we still have some other places to visit," Chris said, grabbing me by the tail and dragging me away.
"Oh, andiamo!" I said irritably.
"You know I can't speak Italian," he replied.
"Yeah, it gives me another way to annoy you," I said, returning to my normal self. Even as I said it, I heard a slight chuckle somewhere to my right, but when I turned, there was no one there.
"So are we going to see Pinkie Pie next?" I asked.
"Yeah, might as well since we've seen all of the other mane 6," he replied.
"Oh, this is going to be fun." I rubbed my hooves together in anticipation.
So I was dragging Tyler by the tail (using my magic of course) because I didn't want him to break our cover again. He of course complained a bit just to annoy me, but when he found that it wasn't working, he shut up and I let go of his tail.
"Thanks," he said.
"You're welcome, now don't do anything like that again," I replied.
"Fine, as long as you don't drag me by my tail again. It hurts and it doesn't feel very nice being dragged along the ground." I snickered a bit then turned toward Sugarcube Corner. I opened the door and walked inside with Tyler close behind. Suddenly, as if she popped out of the floor, Pinkie Pie was standing right in front of us.
"Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Are you new in town? I haven't seen you two before. I know everypony in Ponyville so that must mean that you're new! I need to get started on a welcome party right away!" she said, all of it very quickly without even pausing for breath. Tyler was actually laughing at the look of surprise on my face as Pinkie bounced (yes she was bouncing just like the time she was following Rainbow Dash) out of the room.
"On second thought, I think going to Princess Celestia would've been a better idea," I said.
"Come on, it's a Pinkie Pie party! We'll never get a chance like this again," Tyler replied.
"Fine, but don't do anything stupid."
"When do I ever do anything stupid?" I glared at him, but he still managed to maintain a stupid grin.
"Let's just find something to do while we wait," I said.
"Maybe we could talk to Storm Shadow," he suggested.
"No, we don't need you breaking our cover in front of a pegasus who shouldn't even exist!"
"Okay, jeez man you need to calm down. You're starting to remind me of Twilight from Lesson Zero."
"Don't you remember what happened in Through the Eyes of Another Pony?" I asked.
"Yeah, but that's just a fic."
"So was Mysterious Newcomer! But now it turns out Storm Shadow is real! Wait a minute..." I said. A scowl formed on my face as I heard a small giggle from behind me.
"I should've known you would be following us Final Hour." A black unicorn materialized and laughed at us.
"I thought you would never catch on," she said.
"What do you want?" asked Tyler.
"All I wanted was to give you motivation to keep writing. Showing you that Storm Shadow is real helps a lot. Though I didn't plan on your friend here managing to get through the portal before the spell wore off."
"I'm full of surprises," Tyler said, a grin spreading across his face.
"Great," I said. "Now can we go home?" I didn't really want to be stuck here forever.
"Oh I'm afraid I can't do that. The only way back would be to die."
"Why do we have to die!?" I asked.
"It's the way the spell works. You get teleported to this world and you get back when something kills you."
"I'm sure Arcane would be happy to oblige," Tyler suggested.
"No, I am not going anywhere near Arcane. I created him and I know how his mind works. He would rather have us imprisoned and torture us slowly."
"Jeez, you need to relax Paradox," Final Hour said. "I know just the thing." With a grin that I didn't like one bit, her horn glowed and a beam of magic hit me in the chest. As the glow faded, Tyler suddenly burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" I snapped.
"She turned you into a mare!" he managed to say. I looked in a nearby window and he was right. A mare version of myself stared back from the glass.
"Not funny FH!" I snapped.
"Really? Your friend here seems to find it hilarious," she said with a chuckle. "I think I'll leave you like that for the rest of the day."
"Don't you dare."
"Oh, I dare," she said as she vanished in a flash of light.
"Great, now I have to spend the rest of the day as a mare."
"On the bright side, you look very pretty," Tyler said (one of these days, I'm gonna strangle him).
"Let's just get out of here," I said.
"Okay, I can think of a new name for you while we do that."
Goody, now I have another way to make Chris's life miserable! I still can't believe Final Hour turned him into a mare. That was just fucking hilarious!
"You awake Tyler?" Chris asked.
"What?" I asked. "Yeah I'm awake."
"Okay, because you started to look like you had the thousand-yard stare." Before I could say anything, a black pegasus slammed into a tree next to us.
"Darn it, I need to stop flying so fast," he said, pulling his face free from the tree bark.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Name's Reaper." There goes some more of Chris's sanity (if you don't know, Reaper is one of our friends on FiMFiction).
"Nice to meet you. Who's your friend?"
"Don't know her name yet." The scowl I got from Chris was totally worth it.
"Well, maybe next time I see you, I'll be able to find out her name. For now, I better get going." With that, he zoomed off on some unknown chore.
"This is just great," Chris said. "I didn't even create Reaper and he exists here. For all we know, Firewall could exist too!" (Yet another Through the Eyes of Another Pony reference.)
"Calm down dude, I'm sure not everyone has a pony version of themselves here, otherwise this place would be flooded with OCs."
"I guess you're right, but it doesn't really make me feel any better." Suddenly, a bell went off in my head.
"I got it!" I said triumphantly.
"Got what?" he asked suspiciously.
"Your new name."
"I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this..."
"Well that's not as bad as what I thought you might come up with."
"What? Did you think I was gonna come up with something stupid?" (I don't blame him for thinking like that. I do think of some messed up stuff sometimes.) Chris only scowled at me (I can't help but say he's adorable when he scowls as a mare).
"Let's get going before we recognize anyone else we know," he said, getting ready to turn around and leave.
"Too late," I said, noticing a very familiar pegasus pushing a cloud toward us (Dark-tan coat with a royal-blue mane, light green eyes and a wavy blue arrow for a cutiemark).
"Hey Zephyr!" I shouted. Zephyr jumped and almost let go of the cloud he was pushing (he needs to relax if you ask me).
"Yes?" he asked. "How do you know my name?"
"Magic," I replied, cracking my neck. "Mother fucker."
"Riiight," he said disbelievingly. "But seriously, how do you know my name?"
"Someone told us about you," Paradox (errr I mean Pandora) said. (Wait, did Chris just lie!? I must be dreaming.)
"Oh really? Who?"
"Pinkie Pie." (Two lies! It's the end of the world as we know it!)
"Oh, that figures. Well I can't talk right now, I have to gather up these clouds for the storm later today," Zephyr said before flying away with his cloud.
"Catch you later Zephyr!" I called after him.
"You're going to do this all day aren't you?" Chris said.
"Maybe," I replied. We started walking again and I managed to spot Storm Shadow out of the corner of my eye (he was sitting on a cloud cuddled up next to Rainbow Dash of course, lucky bastard). It was very tempting to tell him what Final Hour did to Chris, but I decided I had annoyed Chris enough for the time being. He kept looking everywhere as if he thought everyone was staring at him. (I don't blame them if they are. The mare version of his OC is actually pretty hot.)
"Calm down Chris, no one is staring at your ass or anything," I whispered.
"Easy for you to say," he hissed back. "You're not the one who got turned into a fucking chick by the pony of death."
"So what?" I asked. "She said you're only going to be like that for a day."
"Reaper already wants to know my name," Chris said as if that proved he was screwed. "I just hope we don't see him for the rest of the day."
"Good luck with that," I said. "In case you didn't know, Pinkie has seen us, and you know what that means."
"Yeah, a party with pretty much every pony in Ponyville," he groaned (aww, even his groans are cute now!). When he offered no further comment, I pulled my MP3 player out of my saddlebags and put the headphones in my ears (My hooves could somehow carry the Player and the headphones without dropping them. Magnets I tell you!). I was surprised to see that the battery was fully charged (it had been near dead when I came to visit Chris). Shrugging it off as magic, I flipped through the songs until I found one to my liking.
"Are you listening to LMFAO again?" Chris asked.
"Maybe," I said rather guiltily (kind of hard to keep a straight face when "I'm Sexy and I Know it" is blasting in your ears).
"You know I hate that crap."
"Well you don't have to listen to it, do you?"
"It would help if you turned down the volume."
"Oh." (I forgot that my headphones don't keep the noise exclusively in my ear. Sound gets out as I turn up the volume.) I hastily flicked the volume to where Chris couldn't hear it before continuing on our way to wherever the hell it was we were going.
The whole time we were walking, I could feel that Final Hour was following us. I just had to get somewhere where no one would see her appear then I would convince her to change me back (I am NOT spending a whole day as a mare). I finally spotted a space between two houses and led Tyler there before turning around.
"I know you're there Final Hour," I said.
"You're no fun," she replied, smirking as she materialized out of thin air.
"Change me back!" I snapped.
"That wasn't very polite," she replied, putting on a false pout that reminded me of Rarity.
"Change me back, please," I said slowly.
"Okay," she said, blasting me again and turning me back into a guy (thank Celestia). "Just so you don't get bored though..." Her horn flared again and blasted Tyler, after which she disappeared again. He coughed a moment and waved his hoof around, trying to dispel the smoke. When the smoke cleared, he had long, flat hair, eyelashes, and a mare's snout. I couldn't help but start laughing.
"Shut up and tell me I'm pretty!" Tyler commanded. (Fuck, now I have to deal with him being an annoying mare. I hate Final Hour so much right now.)
"Will it make you stop annoying me?" I asked.
"No," he stated flatly.
"Then there's your answer."
"Oh well, it was worth a try," he said, shrugging his wings.
"Lets get going," I said. "I still want to see the rest of the town."
"Okie dokie lokie," he said, reminding me of Pinkie Pie. We continued walking and Tyler didn't seem nervous at all. If I didn't know any better, I would think he enjoyed being a mare. We walked through town, staring at the various recognizable buildings and ponies from the show. I spotted several background characters, including Colgate and Doctor Whooves. Tyler almost ran up to Doctor Whooves (I'm guessing it was because he's a Doctor Who fan). I managed to hold him back by the tail with a bit of magic.
"Aw come on," he pleaded. "I want to see if he's the Doctor."
"Dude, he's a pony, not a time lord," I said.
"Fine," he grumbled. We continued walking until I spotted a very familiar looking name on a sign outside a building I've never seen before.
"Fuck," I muttered.
"What?" Tyler asked, following my gaze. "The Prancing Pony? Isn't that the bar from The Skies Above?"
"Hey, maybe DJ-PON3 will be there," he said with a snicker. (I should've known this would happen eventually. He knows that Vinyl Scratch is the pony I draw the most.) "Are we going to go in or what?"
"Might as well," I said. We walked to the bar and went in. Sure enough, Vinyl was the DJ. I picked a spot as far as possible from the stage and Tyler sat across from me. Neither of us were very big drinkers, so we mainly sat and looked around. Eventually, I noticed Tyler was being way too quiet, so I tried to ask him what he was thinking. The problem with that was that he wasn't sitting across from me anymore. Instead, I spotted him whispering in Vinyl's ear as she used her magic to keep the music going. She smirked and the glow from her horn went out. Tyler bent down, and when he came back up the club was silent, at least until the words PARTY ROCK blasted from the speakers. (I am going to kill him one of these days I swear.) To my surprise, the ponies actually cheered and danced harder than ever. While they enjoyed the music, it was like nails scraping on a chalk board to my ears. I thought about blocking out the noise, and suddenly I couldn't hear anything. I stopped thinking about it, and the sound returned.
"Magical earplugs," I mused. "That's pretty useful." I put the magic earplugs back, then continued looking around. I spotted Berry Punch sitting at the bar (not very surprising) and Carrot Top sitting at one of the tables with Bon Bon and Lyra sitting next to her on either side. They seemed to be trying to sing along to the music, but I couldn't really tell what they were saying thanks to my mugical earplugs. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face the tapper, and came face to face with Vinyl Scratch.
"Um, hi," I said, disabling my earplugs so I could hear.
"Your friend over there told me you had a crush on me," she said with a smirk.
"No I don't," I said, hastily shaking my head.
"Then why are there so many drawings of me in this?" she replied, levitating my notepad into view (Tyler is so dead).
"Um... I..." I was interrupted by a hoof on my mouth.
"It's fine," said Vinyl. "You're not the first. Though I have to admit you're a bit cuter than the others."
"Um, thanks?" I said.
"Name's Vinyl." She held out a hoof, which I carefully shook, afraid she might be like Pinkie and have a hidden buzzer.
"Well I'll catch ya later Paradox," she said, returning to the DJ booth and waited for the song to end. Once it ended, Tyler retrieved his MP3 player and walked back over to our table.
"I hate you so much right now," I said, glaring at him.
"What?" he asked. "I thought you liked Vinyl. Besides, she said you're cuter than the others, so maybe you have a chance."
"Wait, were you eavesdropping?"
"Maybe I was." His expression kind of reminded me of a troll face and the I lied guy at the same time. I sighed, defeated.
At least he didn't do anything to drastic, I thought.
A/N: Tyler wrote most of this chapter since I was a bit tired from school. Also, Tyler will need a new name considering he's been turned into a mare.
I love messing with Chris, though I'm kind of surprised he hasn't hit me yet. The look on his face when he met Vinyl was priceless. I wish I had brought a camera so I could capture it, but unfortunately all I had was my cell phone and that had been sitting in my saddlebags next to Chris. Also, I think they put some kind of alcohol or something in the salt licks. I tried one and it was like drinking about ten or eleven beers. Chris went with something that tasted kind of like root beer (non-alcoholic, sissy). Anyway, back to the present.
"Come on Tyler, we should get going," Chris said, pushing his glass away and putting some bits on the table.
"Where did you get those?" I asked curiously, trying to avoid any hint of a slur.
"Found them sitting in my wallet where my money used to be," he replied.
"Oh, okay." We got up (I was a little shaky at first) and went outside.
"I'm surprised we haven't been to Pinkie Pie's party yet," Chris said.
"Well the only building we've been in since we met her has been the Prancing Pony," I said, turning my gaze back to the bar. I noticed some ponies with grins on their faces walking in the direction of Twilight's house.
"I guess you're right, and now we need to find a place to stay for the night."
"What about Twilight's house?" I asked innocently, though a grin was barely being suppressed.
"Sure." He turned around and we started heading over to see Twilight. I was grinning almost the entire time. When we did get there, the town was completely quiet and there wasn't a pony to be seen. I knew that would change the second the door opened. Sure enough, the moment Chris opened the door, there was a huge shout as we were greeted by everypony in Ponyville. I spotted several familiar faces, including Lyra, BonBon, Carrot Top, and Berry Punch. I looked over at Chris, and saw he wasn't nearly as surprised/shocked as I hoped he would've been. It kind of reminded me how Twilight put up with Pinkie's welcome party (though I hope there's no hot sauce bottle next to the punch, Chris hates spicy food more than anything, well maybe except Justin Bieber, but who doesn't hate that bitch?). We took a step inside and suddenly Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere (fourth wall status: shattered to hell) and started talking a thousand miles per hour again. She was talking to fast for me to really understand what she was saying, so I can't really write it down. In fact, I didn't really care what she was saying, because I spotted the buffet table. I headed over and started piling a plate with sweets, but when I reached for a chocolate cupcake, my hoof made contact with a dark-tan hoof reaching for the same thing. I looked up just in time to see Zephyr's flustered face as he pulled his hoof back.
"Hey Zephyr, enjoying the party?" I asked.
"What? Oh, yeah," he replied. "Wait, how do you know my name?"
"My brother told me."
"Who's your brother?"
"The pegasus I saw earlier? You look almost exactly like him."
"We're twins." We talked a little longer, and I noticed that Zephyr's cheeks flared brighter the closer I got to him. Eventually I got tired of talking and walked away with my plate of food, looking for a place to sit. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Chris sitting with DJ-PON3. I smirked and continued on my way, planning to tease him later. Pretty soon I found a place on the stairs, so I sat down and watched the other ponies while I ate the chocolate cupcake I snagged from Zephyr when he wasn't looking. I saw Reaper dancing with Derpy (Bastard!), Doctor Whooves talking with Twilight, BonBon sitting with Lyra (obviously), and Rainbow Dash talking to Pinkie Pie. I thought about asking where Storm Shadow was, but then I remembered he was a royal guard in Chris's fic, so he must've been on guard duty or something. After looking around for a bit, I got bored and mainly concentrated on my food, so I never noticed Zephyr walking toward me.
"Hey, I was wondering if you might like to dance with me?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof. I could tell from a glance that he was nervous.
"Sure, why not," I replied, grinning inside at the thought of Chris's possible reactions. Getting up, I stretched for a moment before walking to the middle of the room with Zephyr. I glanced over at Chris, who was wearing a confused expression, and grinned as DJ-PON3 went to her turntable and put on the records. When the music started, I took every chance I got to glance over at Chris. He facehoofed at first, then started to act like I wasn't there, which failed miserably. By the time we were done, Chris had his notepad and pencil out. I could see the pencil working slowly, making short strokes as Chris concentrated on what he was doing. Unfortunately, DJ-PON3 wouldn't let him finish. She walked up to him, grabbed his foreleg, and pulled him to where I had previously been standing with Zephyr. Her horn glowed and the music started up again. He looked over at me with pleading eyes, but I shook my head and grinned. Chris was a good dancer, but he wasn't particularly fond of doing it in front of a crowd. Sighing, he straightened up and smiled. The grin vanished from my face when they started dancing. I had always thought the DJ just played music and never danced to it, but I was dead wrong. She was a better dancer than anyone I've ever seen, and Chris barely managed to keep up. It was kinda funny now that I think about it. By the time the song ended, Chris was wiped out and DJ-PON3 was chuckling next to him. Little by little, the ponies at the party started leaving. I was actually relieved when Pinkie Pie left, because now it was nice and quiet.
"I asked Twilight and she said it's fine for us to stay here tonight," Chris said.
"Great, I'll see you in the morning then," I replied, setting my saddlebags next to the wall and jumping on the couch. I fell asleep almost as soon as I landed.
I had the weirdest dream ever. Last part I can remember were two ponies who looked almost like mirror images of Tyler and I, except they were mares. I groaned and rubbed the back of my head. I hate sleeping on the floor. Making a move to get up, I froze because I heard snoring next to me. Turning my head, I saw a black and red mane turned toward me. I looked over at Tyler and my heart stopped. Lying on top of him was Dawn Whistle (I think that's the name he came up with). She was snoring peacefully with one of her eyes covered by her mane. Curiously, I leaned over the pony next to me and saw that it was Pandora (the mare version of me!).
"You should see the look on your face!" Final Hour blurted as she appeared on the stairs.
"What is this? How did you do this?" I asked.
"Oh, I didn't do it. You did," she replied.
"I didn't do this!" I almost hissed.
"Oh really now? You've been thinking about these two since I transformed Tyler. Your imagination did the rest, giving them personalities and bringing them into existence."
"That's not even possible!"
"You should know by now that nothing is impossible. You could even change your own appearance if you wanted to." With that, Final Hour vanished. I thought it over for a moment, and ended up changing my looks. My hair reversed from black and red to white and blue, and my horn vanished as a pair of wings sprouted from my sides. My coat became grey and a few dark blue tattoos swirled into existence on my legs, neck, and face. I looked over at Pandora and was surprised to see that almost the same thing had happened to her, though there was a lack of tattoos, at least there was until I spotted a heart tattoo on her foreleg. I looked over at Tyler just as the last specks of red appeared forming identical tattoos to mine. I wondered how I remembered what the tattoos even looked like, considering I hadn't been on the Facebook pony creator in years. As I thought about that, Tyler woke up.
"Porca puttana! Che cazzo!?" He cried. It was loud enough to wake up Dawn Whistle and Pandora.
"What's going on, Paradox?" Pandora asked as she rubbed her eyes.
"Nothing, go back to sleep," I said before turning back to Tyler.
"What's the matter brother?" Dawn Whistle asked, resting her head on a hoof. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"Brother?" He looked questioningly over at me.
"Yes, brother. I swear, you have the worst memory sometimes," Dawn Whistle said teasingly.
"Just a second, sis. I need to talk to Paradox."
"Okay, I'm going to go back to sleep." Tyler got up and Dawn Whistle curled up on the couch again.
"What's going on?" he hissed.
"I don't know," I replied. "Final Hour told me I created them somehow."
"Is that also how you are completely different colors and I have fucking tattoos?" he asked.
"Yeah, I just thought about it and the changes happened."
"Cool little ability. Now can you get rid of my 'sister?'"
"I don't think so. I think I can only alter them."
"Well that's just great. We're stuck with twin sisters who think we're their brothers."
"It's not all bad. At least Final Hour can't turn us into mares again," I said encouragingly.
"True, but I've lived just fine without a sister to bug me."
"Just give it a try and if it doesn't work out I'll try to think of a way to get rid of them."
"Fine." He flicked his tail and went into the kitchen, presumably trying to find something to eat. I followed after him, forced into action by my growling stomach (why didn't I just grab something at the buffet table last night...). I was just putting the finishing touches on a sandwich when Pandora and Dawn Whistle came into the kitchen. Pandora looked almost like a mirror image of me. All the colors matched, but she didn't have the same tattoos, and her mane and tail were way more well kept than mine. I also spotted a big difference in cutie marks. Her cutie mark was an hourglass compared to my notepad. Dawn Whistle had combed her mane as well, but her left eye was still a bit covered. She had the same little heart tattoo on her foreleg, except hers was red while Pandora's had been blue.
"Morning brother," Pandora said with a yawn as she opened a set of cupboards.
"Morning sis," I replied, unable to think of anything else to say.
"So did you have a bad dream or what?" asked Dawn Whistle.
"Yeah, sorry for waking you up," Tyler replied.
"It's fine, don't worry about it." Dawn then walked over and looked through the cupboards with Pandora. A few minutes later, while we were eating our breakfast, I heard something coming down the stairs, and I was shocked to see that Twilight didn't even look at us funny when she came down.
"Good morning," she said. "Did you all sleep well?"
"Yep, though my brother may need a pillow next time," Pandora said. "He kept putting his head on me."
"Did not," I said defensively.
"Oh yes you did. We both know your neck gets sore unless you use something to keep it elevated."
"Well I can't tell what I'm doing while I'm asleep."
"Oh I'm well aware of that. Nopony can wake you up once you're asleep. We could have a party with everyone in Ponyville and you wouldn't move a muscle." Tyler was actually snickering at this point because he knew it was true. I am possibly one of the heaviest sleepers ever. Once I'm asleep, almost nothing can wake me up. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I heard a knock at the door and was about to get up when Twilight answered it. In walked three pegasi, while my sanity left through the open door. I knew immediately who they were from their cutie marks. The leader's was a shield emblazoned with a skull, while the mare had a crosshair and the other guy had a shield.
"Hey Twilight, long time no see," said the lead pegasus.
"Hello Daniel," she replied (......). "Have you managed to think of new names yet?"
"No, we're not good at coming up with names, are we Roger?"
"Nope. I couldn't think of a pony name to save my fucking life!" the green pegasus said with a grin. I glanced at Tyler and he had a hoof over his mouth, trying to look innocent while he was probably concealing a huge grin.
"You guys just need to use those nuts you call brains," said the mare.
"We're not stupid Rachel, or have you already forgotten what we went through?"
"No, I haven't forgotten," Rachel said grimly.
"Well anyway," continued Daniel. "We just came to say hi before we head out again. We were passing through on our way to Canterlot."
"Still trying to find out about your home?" Twilight asked.
"Yep, it keeps gnawing at me."
"Well hopefully the princess can help you."
"One can hope." With that, they took off toward Canterlot. I was relieved that they didn't ask any questions about us. I did not want to confront more characters who shouldn't even exist.
"I need some coffee or something," I muttered, rubbing my forehead with a hoof.
"There's some coffee in the kitchen," Twilight said. (Wait, ponies have coffee??) I walked into the kitchen to get some while Tyler talked with Dawn and Pandora.
"I'm guessing you knew them as well?" Twilight asked from behind me. It scared me to the point that I almost dropped my coffee.
"Yeah, they were in a story I wrote called 'The Skies Above,'" I replied, taking a sip.
"I still find it strange that you can create things with your mind."
"I find it strange that you didn't notice my different look."
"Oh, I noticed. I just didn't want to look stupid by freaking out about it."
"It would've made more sense, but then Pandora and Dawn Whistle may have thought you were a lunatic, and I don't necessarily need that right now."
"Yes, though I don't think you needed sisters either."
"Well I can't change it now, so I'll have to live with it," I said with a sigh, placing my empty cup on the counter.
After 'meeting' with the two new ponies, Pandora and Nightwish, I thought, I'll never see them again, but in the morning Pinkie bounced into my personal space while I was taking a nap in the park. She gave me an invitation.
Well, she was, heh, Pinkie, nopony could be angry at her.
I was there in time, I don't like socializing but a party-invitation from anypony.... I hate to be forever alone.
We waited, mostly in quiet. Then they arrived. After the loud shout the party started and, because I have nopony to attend to, I aimed for the buffet table to get some free sweets.
I was about to grab a delicious looking choclate cupcake when my hoof collided with a mare's hoof, she wanted to get the same cupcake.
It was incidentally but I actually grabbed a mare's hoof!
To my surprise she asked me.
"Hey Zephyr, enjoying the party?" She said.
"What? Oh, yeah," I answered her, I'm not a speaking type. But I remembered something. "Wait, how do you know my name?"
"My brother told me." She had a brother?
"Who's your brother?"
"The pegasus I saw earlier? You look almost exactly like him." That would explain the similarity.
"We're twins." Yes, this must be.
She is... beautiful... Those mesmerizing ruby-red eyes, the velvet black locks of her mane, the mysterious dark blue of her coat...
We talked for a little while, about the party and some other stuff... I asked her name, she is Dawn Whistle. She paused for a second or two when I asked, but I gave it no importance.
I think... I might bore her, she looked like she doesn't want to talk, so I let her go. Why can't I pick up a mare?....
I remained at the buffet table for a little while, collecting my thoughts. I decided. I'll ask her if she want to dance!
Yes! I'll do it and.... I'll fail, why would she want to dance with a loser like me...
No, I have to try!
I walked to her. She was eating the sweets she collected before, so I just asked her.
"Hey, I was wondering if you might like to dance with me?" I asked and rubbed the back of my head, I never did this before... I felt like if my face could burst in flames any seconds then....
"Sure, why not?" She replied and grinned at me.
'YES!' - if she could hear my thoughts she would think I'm crazy or something.
We walked in the middle of the room and started to dance.
I... think I must be a horrible dancer... she always looked away, mostly to Paradox, even if he was drawing in a notepad...
Then... when the music was over and we finished the dancing... DJ-PON3 took our place with Paradox.
I just wanted to forget this all... I tried, I failed.
I'll be forever alone.
The time went on. After the dance I found a quiet corner where I remain until I noticed that everypony was leaving.
Looking around I saw Dawn Whistle putting a pair of black saddlebags next to a wall, then she jumped on a couch and fall asleep immediately.
Good for her, I'll be sleepless for two days... again...
'Wait, what if...?'
I walked to her. 'This is my last chance!' I thought. Nudging her side gently, I woke her up. She was slightly angry, looks like waking her up wasn't a good idea but what could I lose?...
"Uhm, hey... sorry for waking up, I just wanted to ask if you want to come to my place, you know, to a proper cloud-bed? This couch isn't too good for a beautiful mare like you... It's okay if you don't want to-"
I was interrupted by her. While I was fighting to be able to speak properly, she got off of the couch and stood next to me.
"Alright! Lead the way!"
My heart stopped for a second. I..did it. I DID IT!!! She came with me! With a big grin on my face I trotted to the closest window and opened it.
"Ladies first!" I said. By the looks she was talking with Paradox and made him angry, but when she heard my calling, she left him and flew out of the window.
I took the lead a few second later. My house, as is usual, was close to the edge of the town, 30 meters high above the ground level.
After landing in front of the front-door, I opened it up and let Dawn Whistle to go inside first.
She was amazed by my home... it's pretty plain and a bit messy, I don't know what would be so fantastic to her in it.
"The bedroom is in this way..." I pointed to the second floor where my bedroom was, along with the bathroom and the balcony.
She went up. I followed her after a moment, I swear I've seen something in the corner of my I, but there was nothing when I looked at the place.
When I arrived to the door of my room, it was closed. I always leave it open when I'm not in there so she must entered it while I wasn't paying attention.
"Dawn? Are you there?" I asked a bit nervously.
"Yeah, come in." I heard her slightly muffled answer.
I opened the door. The room was pitch black. I stepped forward but the door behind me slammed closed.
"What the?!?" I shook my head. "Dawn, is it you? Why did you closed the door?"
There was no answer but I felt a hoof touching my lips. I raised my right forehoof and touched it. When I did it her hoof moved away and I felt her lips on mine.
My mind cleared. Is this really happening?...
After the light kiss I felt her pushing me towards my bed - she probably remembered where it was.
Soon I lied on my back and she was on top of me...
'My life is complete... I can die peacefully now...' I thought.
And then she... and me... did... it...
The morning come. I woke up at seven sharp as usual. But she was nowhere.
"Dawn?" I called her. No answer.
I searched through the whole house but I didn't found her.
"She is gone.... Doesn't matter, had sex!" I said to myself.
I went in the kitchen to make a breakfast when I heard the bell ringing.
"Coming!" I shouted.
At the door was Nightwish. He wore a weird, shocked expression.
"Oh hello Nightwish! Is something wrong?" I asked.
"Uhm, yeah.. have you seen my sis?"
"Yeah, but it was yesterday, she spend the night with me..." I poked his left shoulder. "If you know what I mean!" I grinned widely.
"So you don't know where she is?..." He asked. Weird, he was blushing, but why?...
"No... when I woke up she wasn't there... I hope we can spend more time together though. When you meet her tell her that I want to see her again."
"O-okay, I-I will..."
He then just turend around and flew down on the ground. I looked after him. He walked... weirdly.
But I had to get in work today, I had 30 more minutes to be ready.
I swear I've seen something right next to me, but there was nothing yet again... What the buck?...
I walked back in the kitchen, quietly singing:
"I got laid, I got laid, I got laid~! Buck I got laid!"
Paradox Note: This was written by Zephyr, and is in no way the work of Tyler or me. I have made a few edits, but this is largely unedited.
So now I have a twin sister... That's just great. There are several things I would have rather received. A pet Trixie being one of them (What? She's cute even though she's a show off.).
Anyway, back to my current predicament. Dawn Whistle is pretty cool, but I probably would be better off without a sister. Paradox's sister on the other hand (errr hoof), is pretty hot. If it wasn't so weird, I would consider going out with her. I personally think her white and blue mane looks better than black and red. She's also way more talkative than Chris, and we had a lengthy conversation going on by the time Chris came out of the kitchen.
"Jeez, I thought you drowned in your coffee for a second there," I said.
"No, I was just thinking," he replied, sitting down next to his "sister" and pulling out his notepad.
"Do you ever do anything besides draw?" asked Dawn Whistle, attempting to push her mane back from her eye (it didn't work).
"Yes, I write on occasion," Chris replied, his ear flicking slightly in annoyance.
"Hey Twilight, is there a shower in this place?" I asked, mostly to have something to do rather than just sit there.
"Yes, it's upstairs," she replied. I managed to find it without any problems, and there were clean towels and soap that I could use. It was basically the same as a human shower, but the shower head was lower due to ponies being smaller. I just shrugged and started it up. Unlike my shower, which was a pain in the ass to get to the right temperature, this shower easily adjusted to my needs. Anyway, once I was done I grabbed a towel and dried off. I was just wiping some water out of my eyes when I saw some folded up clothes sitting next to the seat. On top was something that looked like shades accompanied by a rope necklace with a little skull on it.
"I didn't think ponies would wear that kind of thing," I muttered, inspecting the clothes further. All it was was a vest and a belt with a blue buckle. Guessing they were for me, I put them on and headed downstairs.
"Like the new outfit?" asked Chris as I came into view. I looked up to see he was wearing almost the same outfit, except his clothes were lighter, his buckle was black, and he had a pair of goggles around his neck instead of a necklace.
"Yeah," I replied. "Who made it?"
"I did," he said, tapping his forehead with a hoof. As I took my place back at the table, Chris's "sister," Pandora, went upstairs, presumably to take a shower like I had done. Dawn Whistle was trying to balance a glass on each wing, and she was doing pretty well, at least until her wings started to shake.
"We don't need any broken glass in here," Chris said, walking around the table and grabbing the glasses before they could fall.
"I could've caught them," Dawn Whistle said defensively.
"Better to be safe than sorry," Chris replied, putting the glasses back in the kitchen (as Pinkie Pie would say, BOOOOOOORING). I faked a yawn as he came back in, which caused Dawn to giggle a little bit. Chris only glared at me through his shades before going back to his drawing. I leaned over to get a peek, and managed to make out DJ-Pon3 before he leaned away from me. Bored, I put my head on my hoof and looked around. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I got up and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Chris asked.
"I'm just going to look around town some more," I replied, opening the door and leaving before he could say anything else. It felt good to stretch my wings a bit, and I ended up flying up as high as I could and landing on a cloud. Pulling out my mp3 player, I looked through my songs until I found my favorite (Blue Stahli - Anti You). Setting it to repeat, I kicked back and closed my eyes. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy it for very long. I felt someone poking me in the side, so I opened one of my eyes slightly, opening both eyes when I saw who it was.
"You're almost as hard to wake up as I am," Rainbow Dash said.
"Can I help you?" I asked (I would've been less rude, but I was napping! I don't like being interrupted when I'm napping.).
"Well you're napping on my favorite cloud," she replied.
"Aren't all the clouds the same?"
"Well yeah, but this is the one I nap on all the time," she said, then suddenly she looked at me straight in the eye. "Say, don't I know you from somewhere?"
"I'm the pony you crashed into yesterday," I said, refreshing her memory.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I'm Rainbow Dash."
"I almost didn't recognize you with the vest and all that."
"Yeah, I just got them today."
"Who made them? It doesn't look like something Rarity would come up with." (Yeah, Rarity would probably think of it as a fashion disaster.)
"My friend Paradox made it. He's the other pony who was with me when you crashed into me."
"Well he did a pretty cool job with the little skull there," she said, pointing at my necklace.
"Yeah, I'll tell him you said that. He should appreciate it."
"Okay, now can you get off of my cloud?"
"You'll have to race me for it," I said with a smirk. (I'm sooo going to lose.)
"Bring it on," she replied with her own smirk. I got up and cracked my neck a couple times before getting ready. After Dash did the count down, I shot forward. For a couple seconds, I actually managed to stay ahead of her, but she caught up. I was smirking at her while she stared at me with a glare that, if looks could kill, would've made me have a heart attack in mid-air. She managed to pull in front of me, but I only smirked again as I came up behind her, using the slipstream to build up extra speed. Right when we were about to finish, I zoomed past her, but instead of winning, like I should've, I tied with her because she had the nerve to grab my leg when I went for the win.
"I would've had you if you hadn't grabbed my leg," I said, panting slightly.
"You never said I couldn't do anything like that," she replied, panting a little more than I was (This is because I used less energy while using her slipstream.).
"Well it was fun either way." I wiped the sweat off my forehead and rested on the cloud we had landed on.
"I gotta get going. I'm meeting up with Storm Shadow after he gets done with his patrol. I'll cya later Nightwish." I listened to absolutely none of that, because I had already plugged my music back in and was closing my eyes to take a nap. The keyword being was. I was very rudely interrupted by Dawn Whistle poking me in the side.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"That was awesome!" she replied. "I watched you two race. You did great big brother!"
"Thanks, now can I take a nap?"
"What? Oh, sure. I'll cya in a bit." She took off and flew away. I can't say to where because I shut my eyes the second she took off.
I was still calmly working on my drawings and drinking more coffee when Dawn Whistle came back.
"Nightwish just raced with a pegasus, and he would've won if she hadn't grabbed his leg," she said, sitting down next to Pandora. I almost choked on my coffee, because I only knew of one pegasus that Tyler would try to race.
"Was she cyan with a rainbow mane?" I asked.
"No reason." In my mind, I was actually thinking of how stupid Tyler was to race Rainbow Dash. Another part of my brain was thinking about how he almost won. While I was spaced out, Dawn Whistle was talking with Pandora about something. I was so lost in thought that I almost spilled my coffee all over my drawing, but I managed to steady it before it fell.
"I'm going to go outside for a little bit," I said, putting my notepad in my saddlebag and putting it on my back.
"To do what?" asked Dawn whistle.
"To clear my head a little bit," I replied. Dawn Whistle looked questioningly at my "sister" but Pandora only shrugged. I walked outside and stretched my new wings a little bit, hearing them crack a little as I loosened them up. Taking off my shades, I lifted the goggles to my eyes and let them snap tight, barely wincing as they hit. Flapping my wings a few times, I took off and flew as high as I could. Breathing in the fresh air, I sighed as I exhaled and looked around.
"Maybe I should stay here," I said to myself.
"And do what?" asked a voice from the air next to me. Final Hour materialized a moment later, and she had a pair of jet black wings keeping her in the air.
"Since when did I give you the ability to change yourself like that?" I asked curiously.
"I'm the pony of death remember? I can do pretty much anything I want," she replied with a smirk.
"I still don't see why you have to follow me everywhere."
"Oh I follow your friend as well, to make sure he doesn't cause too much trouble."
"Good luck with that, Tyler won't listen to you."
"Oh, he will if I threaten to send him back to your world."
"And how do you propose doing that? You said the only way to get back is if we die in this world." Even as I said it I facehoofed. She's the pony of death, of course she could easily kill him. Sighing, I sat down on a nearby cloud and rubbed my forehead.
"So where is your little friend anyway?" she asked, sitting down next to me.
"Probably napping somewhere," I replied.
"Sounds like Storm Shadow."
"Hey, I can't be blamed for not knowing that whatever I wrote became real."
"Oh, I know. I just like messing with you," she said, nudging me in the side with her hoof. When she got no response, she turned and looked around.
"Looking for Tyler?" I asked.
"No, I'm just bored," she replied, resting her head on her hoof.
"Why don't you go have some fun?" I asked. "Go to a party or something."
"It's not very easy with the symbol of death on your flank," she replied, pointing at the crossed scythes.
"Why don't you change it for a bit? Arcane can do it, so why can't you?" She looked at me for a moment while she thought it over, then her horn glowed and her cutie mark morphed into a pair of crossed lightning bolts.
"See? How hard was that?" I asked.
"Not very," she replied, frowning (probably because she hadn't thought of it).
"See, it's easy. Now go have some fun and leave me and Tyler alone for a bit."
"Okay," she said with a smirk as she made her horn vanish. "I'll see you later." She flew off, leaving me alone on my cloud (No more stalker pony!). I thought about going to look for Tyler, but remembered how angry he can get if you disturb him while he's napping, so instead I decided to lay back and enjoy the view. Pushing my goggles up onto my forehead, I looked down at the massive expanse of trees that was the Everfree Forest. I reached into my saddlebag (which surprisingly hadn't fallen through the cloud) to grab my notepad, and I was just about to start drawing when I heard flapping wings.
"Can't I get a single moment of peace?" I muttered, stowing my notepad back in my saddlebag. I turned my head to see who it was, and wasn't really surprised to see Tyler flying towards me.
"It's about fucking time I found you," he said, landing a couple feet away from me.
"I thought you would still be napping by now," I replied.
"Nah, I was only taking a short nap. Anyway, do you want to go exploring?"
"Sure, I guess. Where do you want to go?"
"I figured we could explore the Everfree a little bit."
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." I was thinking that Arcane was still occupying the abandoned castle, and he may not take kindly to two strangers walking near his hideout.
"Come on, don't be such a sissy," he taunted, and I could tell he would be willing to start making chicken noises if I said no.
"Fine, as long as we stay away from the castle," I said.
"Okay, come on!" He took off and I flew after him, following him to the edge of the forest before landing. He immediately took the lead, pushing his way through low hanging branches and looking around. I was a little more paranoid than usual, looking in every direction that an attacker could possibly come from. Tyler was just about to step into a clearing when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. I pulled him back and put a hoof over his mouth.
"What's wrong?" he asked, whispering as I took my hoof off his mouth.
"Look over there," I whispered, pointing to the left side of the clearing. A pair of ponies clad in jet black armor were walking side by side.
"How are the preparations coming?" asked the pony on the right, who was a light yellow color with deep brown eyes.
"They're coming along just fine. A couple more days and we should be ready," replied the one on the left, who was a dark tan and had a patch covering one of his eyes.
"Good, though it would've been better if you hadn't tried to pick a fight with that manticore."
"Hey, I could've killed it if you hadn't dragged me away."
"That, or it could've taken your other eye, and then what use would you be?" The other pony just scowled at her, his ear flicking in annoyance.
"Let's get out of here," I whispered. I went back the way we came as I fast as I could without making any noise, and when we finally got out of the forest, I collapsed on the ground in relief.
"You need to work out more, you know that?" asked Tyler as he sat down next to me.
"Oh shut up," I replied, not really in the mood to put up with him.
Mysterious ponies in dark armor and eye patches that are planning something? Yep, just another day in Equestria. It was a good thing Chris dragged me away when he did though, otherwise I may have started laughing at the scowl that guy was giving his friend (he looked pissed). Anyway, back to the present. Chris is a wimp (can't even stay on his feet!) and we just avoided a possibly unpleasant meeting with two ponies who I have never seen before in my life.
"So what are we going to do now?" I asked.
"We should probably tell Twilight," Chris replied.
"Lead the way then, but be sure to stay standing this time." Chris only scowled at me (damn it) before getting up and walking in the general direction of the library. Oh how I wish I had known what was waiting for us. Maybe I would've suggested against it (Wait, what am I saying!? Of course I would still do it!). When we reached our destination, I heard strange voices inside, though they were immediately silenced when Chris knocked on the door (I almost tried to stop him so I could eavesdrop). When the door opened, Twilight appeared, looking a little tense.
"You okay, Twi?" I asked.
"I'm fine," she replied. "I just wasn't expecting you." I don't think she could look any guiltier.
"Are you sure?" asked Chris.
"Yes, I'm sure, now what do you need?" she asked (someone's touchy!).
"We found something important, but do you think we could talk about it inside?" asked Chris. Her eyes flickered for a moment, and I barged right past her, only to experience something very strange. When I crossed the threshold, I felt a sort of burning sensation throughout my body.
"Damn it, what the hell is going on?" I asked.
"You may want to look in a mirror," Chris said with a very shocked tone.
"Well give me one then!" I demanded. Twilight, with a very scared expression on her face, used her magic to levitate a mirror up to my face. When I looked at it, I saw my human face staring back at me.
"Twilight, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?" I yelled.
"Calm down dude, at least you have clothes on," Chris said, snickering a bit.
"I put a spell in my house that disables enchantments," Twilight explained. "I was hoping it would stop him from acting like Pinkie Pie."
"Didn't really work out, now did it?" asked a new voice. I looked over to see a human lounging on Twilight's couch. He had black, buzzcut hair and was looking at me with green eyes (Oh, I almost forgot to mention. He's wearing Fluttershy Pajamas).
"Mind introducing us to your friend Twilight?" asked Chris, who was now standing beside her with his arms folded, wearing his tool belt and dark green jacket, his curly brown hair refusing to stay down (as always).
"Peter, what's going on in there?" called a voice from the kitchen.
"It looks like we have a couple of new friends!" Peter answered.
"What do you mean by that?" asked the voice. A moment later, another human walked in, wearing glasses like Chris was (hmmm, two people wearing glasses and two people without glasses, what could this mean? Frankly, I don't care). He stared at us for a couple moments, and I could almost hear his sanity screaming in agony.
"Peter, did you do this!?" asked the new person, indicating Chris and myself.
"What makes you think that I did it?" Peter asked, acting hurt.
"Well, you're always breaking the bucking fourth wall for one thing!" (Oh really now? This ought to be fun.)
"Matthew, calm down," Twilight said (now I can stop calling him new person!). "Peter didn't bring them here."
"Yeah, we came here through a magic door," I said, inserting myself into the conversation.
"We got here through a magic hole in a cave," Peter said.
"I noticed that you said 'bucking,'" Chris said. "Why?"
"Well for some bucking reason, we're not able to curse normally," Peter answered. "Every time we try, we say something like bucking or son of a grapefruit." (I almost burst out laughing at that last one.) "Anyway, I'm Peter and this is Matthew. Who are you two?"
"I'm Tyler and this is Chris," I said, jabbing a thumb toward Chris.
"I might as well take down the spell since it's obvious it didn't work on Peter," Twilight said, her horn starting to glow.
"Hold on a second," I said, walking over to the window. Looking around, I spotted the unicorn I was looking for. Snickering, I opened the window.
"What are you - Oh no," Chris said, facepalming.
"HEY LYRA!" I shouted, causing the mare to turn around. Waving at her, I quickly shut the window and ducked down.
"Turn the spell off now!" I hissed at Twilight. Her horn glowed and a few seconds later, where there had been four humans, there were now four ponies. I looked over at Peter, who had turned into a grey pony with blue hair that had a red highlight in it (Oh, he's also a unicorn). Matt had turned into light brown pegasus with red hair. I didn't get to say anything, because suddenly the door burst open.
"Where is it!?" asked Lyra. "I know I saw a human!"
"Lyra, calm down," Twilight said. "Humans don't exist, remember?"
"But I saw one! It waved at me with its hand!" she said, completely freaking out (so worth the pissed off look Chris was giving me). When she finally calmed down, she left to go sit back down with Bon Bon.
"Don't you ever do that again," Chris said.
"Are you kidding me?" asked Peter, who was rolling on his back. "That was bucking hilarious! That was probably better than when she saw us when Rarity was trying to give us a makeover."
"Rarity tries to give everyone a makeover," I said, rolling my eyes.
"So what now?" asked Matthew.
"Yeah Chris, or should I say, Paradox, what now?" I asked.
A/N: What's up everypony! Tyler here! Sorry about the long ass wait for this chapter. I've been busy with work and all that shit. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
Why is it that Tyler always puts the pressure on me?
"Well we should probably tell Twilight what we came here to tell her," I said.
"Tell me what?" Asked said unicorn.
"We saw two ponies in black armor in the Everfree," Tyler said. "They're planning some sort of attack or something. They said it should be ready in a couple days."
"An attack? Are you sure?"
"Well I highly doubt they are planning a tea party."
"What kind of armor did you say they were wearing?" Twilight asked, wearing an expression that made me think that she was trying hard to remember something.
"Pink," Tyler said, earning him a smack in the head from my hoof. "Okay, jeez. They were wearing black armor." I could tell from the look that spread across Twilight's face that it wasn't good news.
"Let me guess," I said with an irritated tone. "They work for Arcane Darkness." The look she gave me told me I hit the nail on the head. "Fuck..."
"Wait a minute," Peter said. "Who's Arcane Darkness? I've never heard of him."
"Well actually he's not supposed to exist," I replied. "I created him for a fanfic along with other characters like Storm Shadow."
"Storm Shadow? As in the Storm Shadow who's dating Rainbow Dash?" he asked, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
"Damn it. I was supposed to be the one dating Rainbow Dash!"
"Well you don't always get what you want," Matthew said.
"Can we get back to the situation at hand?" Tyler asked. "We're getting way off topic." (Wait a second... He's actually taking things seriously... THAT TYLER IS A SPY!)
"Yeah, you can bitch about Rainbow Dash later, Peter." In response, Peter crossed his arms and frowned.
"Now what were you saying Chris?"
"I was going to say that we need to tell Storm Shadow, since he's really the only one who's actually fought Arcane."
"Then lets go tell him then!" Tyler said, heading towards the door. Shrugging, I followed him outside.
"He'll either be on guard duty or sitting on a cloud somewhere with Rainbow Dash," I said, looking around.
"He's over there," Tyler said, pointing toward Sweet Apple Acres. I glared at him before walking that way.
"You need something?" he asked when he noticed us approaching.
"Yeah, we think Arcane may be planning another attack."
"And what makes you think that?" He wore a more determined expression now, which wasn't surprising to me considering I created him.
"We saw a couple of his guards in the Everfree. They were talking about preparations for something. They said it should be ready in a couple days." Storm Shadow tapped his hoof against his chin, presumably thinking about what to do.
"Thanks for the info," he said after a few moments. "I'll notify the captain. We'll make sure Arcane doesn't do any damage." He looked around with a puzzled expression.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Didn't you have another pony with you?" ... Fuck. I looked around, but couldn't spot any sign of Tyler. Mentally cursing him, I ran back to Twilight's house, where I found a rather... unpleasant surprise. I barged through the door, and the first thing I saw was Dawn Whistle sitting on the couch, but she wasn't alone. Zephyr was sitting with her, and they were making out. With my eye twitching from thinking how wrong that was, I went to the other room to find Peter and Matthew playing cards.
"Where's Tyler?" I asked.
"He left about five minutes ago," Peter answered. "Said something about the Everfree Forest." With another round of mental cursing, I ran back outside, not even thinking about why Pandora was nowhere to be seen. Turning toward the forest, I saw a blue and white tail disappear into the trees.
Fuck, now I have to save Pandora too, I thought, running after her.
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I really couldn't think of anything to continue what I had, so I got rid of it and came up with something new.
Did Chris really expect me to do nothing? He should know me better than that. So anyway, I stopped by Twilight's (totally ignoring the fact that Zephyr was kissing my 'sister') house and asked Peter how to break the 4th wall. After he told me, I made him promise not to tell Chris (he can get scary when he's super pissed). Getting back outside, I tested my new powers by walking on thin air (LOOK MA! NO WINGS!). After laughing maniacally for a couple seconds, I landed back on the ground and headed into the forest. I already knew where I was heading, considering it was the most obvious feature of the forest. Teleporting occasionally using my new found powers, I arrived at the "abandoned" castle within minutes. Setting a hoof against the wall, I tested to make sure it was stable, then I started walking my way up (Spider pony, spider pony, does whatever a spider pony does. Can he swing, from a web? No he can't, he's a pony.). When I reached the top, I poked my head up and looked around. The first thing I saw was Mr. Eye patch pony. He was grumbling to himself, probably still angry about earlier. I decided to help him out, and by help I mean knock him unconscious with a kick to the head. Putting on his armor (luckily it fit over my clothes), I flew down to the courtyard, where around fifty ponies were talking and training. I didn't spot any purple unicorns, so I assumed Arcane was in his study or something. After managing to find a door, I went into the castle in search of said study, which wasn't really hard to find. It was in the hallway that had no guards or ponies whatsoever. While the rest of the castle was teeming with them, this hallway was devoid. I was about to knock on the door when I heard a voice from inside.
"I found her wandering around outside," the voice said.
"So you deemed it necessary to attack a pony who is obviously not a threat just because she was lost?" asked another voice. Tired of eavesdropping, I opened the door wide enough to where I could see, and almost gave myself away. Choking back a gasp, I saw Arcane arguing with a guard who had Pandora standing next to him. She looked afraid, and her wings were strapped to her sides.
"What is it now?" Arcane asked, his magic flinging the door open, causing me to almost fall flat on my face. Pandora's face lit with recognition, but she didn't say a word.
"I found a guard unconscious on the battlements, sir," I replied, not knowing what else to say.
"Oh really now?" He turned back to the guard. "It seems you have allowed a spy into the castle, captain, which means you can go investigate." The captain bowed his head and hurried from the room, leaving me alone with Pandora and Arcane.
"So what do you think we should do with her?" Arcane asked.
"She couldn't have known anything about it, so we could possibly just erase her memory of this encounter and let her go," I suggested.
"An excellent idea, but I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Because you are not one of my guards." His horn glowed and I was lifted into the air. The armor disintegrated and fell away. Pandora was next to me, panicking as she tried to stay upright.
"I don't think we've had a proper execution in quite a while. I think I shall see what the guards think about it." There was a flash, and I felt like the life was being squeezed out of me. The sensation only lasted a second, then I caught my breath and saw we were in the courtyard. The ponies I had seen earlier were now all staring at use with mixed looks. Some were surprised, while some were angry. There attention was drawn away from us when the doors to the courtyard opened, revealing two guards with a pissed off Chris in between.
"Ah, so we have three uninvited guests!" Arcane said, his voice a little louder than it should've been. One of the guards pushed Chris forward, only to lose a couple teeth as Chris kicked him in the face, receiving a large laugh from the gathered guards. The now bleeding guard growled and pushed Chris even harder, forcing him towards the spot where Pandora and I floated. I spotted something glowing out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see a fireball appear next to Arcane. He raised an eyebrow, looking at the crowd questioningly. When they cheered in response, he set us down, only to have chains wrap around our legs and hold us in place.
"What were you thinking?" Chris hissed at me.
"I was thinking I could kick his ass," I replied matter-of-factly. We didn't get much farther because the fireball had grown bigger and I was already starting to sweat. I thought we were done for, at least until I saw a flicker in the air.
"Bitch," I muttered under my breath. Arcane launched the fireball, only to jump back in shock as it exploded, revealing a unicorn with a scythe in her hooves.
"That was fun," she said, spinning the scythe and cutting through the chains holding us. She also sliced through the restraints holding down Pandora's wings, allowing her to fly away with Chris and I while Final Hour taunted the guards. When we finally got out of sight, Final Hour appeared next to me with a new pair of wings.
"See?" she asked. "This is why I was following you two. To make sure you don't do something stupid like that."
"Thanks for saving our asses," Chris said. "Though I think you may have to erase Pandora's memory, otherwise she could get worse."
"Good point." Her horn flared and Pandora's expression went from scared and shocked to calm and happy. She probably thought she was just out for an evening flight with her brother and a couple friends. Oh how wrong that thought would be.
So we almost got killed, but luckily Final Hour is still a stalker bitch, and saved our asses at the last second. Not to mention the fact that she saved me from a lot of explaining to Pandora (Why the hell did she follow Tyler in the first place). I would've yelled at Tyler had I not been too tired to even consider it. The only thing I wanted to do was go back to Twilight's place and take a well deserved nap, which I would probably never get to enjoy. Speaking of Twilight's place, we reached it within minutes (which wasn't surprising since we were flying pretty fast). Final Hour had used magic to get rid of her horn, mainly so she wouldn't freak out Pandora (What would you be thinking if you met a third alicorn?). and decided to go inside with us. When I opened the door, the house was surprisingly quiet, at least until Peter poked his head around the corner.
"Hey you guys!" he said, munching on what looked like a waffle (Mother fucker, I want some waffles too!). "Where you been?"
"Long story," I replied. "Where's Matthew?"
"I think he went to the orchestra or something. Who's your friend?" I was about to answer, before she interrupted like the bitch she is.
"I'm Final Hour." She grinned, and I could've sworn Peter blushed. (She was back to a unicorn, so I'm assuming she froze us all and switched back.)
"Nice to meet ya. There are some waffles in the kitchen if you're hungry." Tyler immediately made a beeline for the kitchen, while Pandora and I took our time. Final Hour didn't follow us, she just looked around the place before making her way to the couch, and I could see Peter watching her out of the corner of my eye. I ignored it though, as I was focused on getting a waffle and taking a nap. Tyler had piled four waffles on his plate, and Pandora took two, which still left about ten waffles on the counter (Damn Peter how many did you make!?). After I grabbed one and poured a good bit of syrup on it, I fetched my notepad from my saddlebags so I could draw while I ate (I'm surprised I've never spilled or dropped anything on my notepad). While I ate, I couldn't help but look over at Final Hour, and for some reason I wasn't really surprised when I saw Peter sitting next to her, the two of them chatting idly. Tyler was already finishing his third waffle, and Pandora was barely through her first. All in all, it was pretty much a normal day (that is if you don't count the encounter with Arcane). I was just about to finish my waffle and take a nap when the door opened, revealing a much too happy Matthew.
"Did you get hit with a happy grenade or something?" Tyler asked.
"Nope, but I did get a date with Octavia," he replied, still grinning as he walked upstairs, completely ignoring the looks he was getting from everyone except Final Hour, who was laughing at us.
"You look like someone smacked you with a raw fish!" she gasped, pointing a hoof at Tyler, who really did look like that (Next to Derpy, Octavia is Tyler's favorite pony). Suddenly, something clicked in my mind. Dawn Whistle and Zephyr weren't here. I was about to ask where they were, but shut my mouth because I didn't really want to know. Twilight I learned was already asleep, apparently having been especially tired today (I don't blame her). Not long after I learned that, the door opened to reveal an obviously drunk Dawn Whistle (I think she might be worse than Tyler).
"Where have you been?" asked Tyler, though the poker face he was wearing was not very good. I could tell he was trying hard not to burst out laughing. I don't really blame him. Dawn Whistle had trouble standing up, and her eyes had a hard time focusing on us, well the eye that wasn't hidden by her mane anyway. When she finally did manage to focus on us, she grinned sheepishly and hiccuped a couple times.
"I was just *hic!* at the bar *hic!* with Zephy," she said. "Now if you'll *hic!* excuse me." She headed toward the second couch in the room, but only made it halfway before she collapsed and started snoring. Shaking my head, I got up and lifted her up onto the couch, (she was surprisingly light for some reason) where she curled into an adorable ball. Seeing her sleeping peacefully only made me more tired, so I went to the space I used the previous night. I was about to close my eyes when I saw Tyler curled up on the couch across from Dawn Whistle, though that wasn't what made me falter. The part that made me falter was that Pandora was sleeping soundly next to him. After my eye stopped twitching from how utterly wrong I thought that was, I reminded myself that Pandora and Dawn Whistle had completely different personalities, so they technically weren't Tyler and I in female form. Getting that through my head, I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. (Key word being tried.)
"What, no goodbye?" asked Final Hour, making me open my eyes again.
"I'll see you later, how's that?" I replied.
"That's better." She grinned and walked outside, closing the door behind her. That left me able to ignore Peter's new grin (which, come to think about it, I didn't really trust at all) and get some sleep.
Okay, so before I get started, I want to say one thing. Zephy? Is that some kind of pet name or something, because that's what it sounds like to me. I had to stop myself from laughing when I heard Dawn Whistle say that. I mean, seriously, Zephy?? So back to the story, I had fallen asleep before Pandora got next to me, so I didn't expect to wake up with her mane in my face. After falling off the couch in surprise, I rubbed the back of my head and wondered how the fuck I didn't wake her up. I was about to go into the kitchen in search of leftover waffles when I noticed something missing. Looking around, I zeroed in on the space Chris was sleeping in, and it was empty. Another thing was missing was Dawn Whistle, but she didn't stay that way for long.
"You looking for Paradox?" she asked, poking her head out from the kitchen.
"Yeah, do you know where he is?" I replied.
"I think Vinyl came and got him."
"And just how does she know we're staying here?"
"I may have told her last night while I was drunk." Her cheeks were flushed and her ears were lowered, though I didn't pay much attention because I was laughing on the inside.
"Do you know where they went?"
"Nope, I didn't really pay attention." I'm not surprised... Suddenly, my stomach decided to remind me what I woke up for by growling at me.
"Are there any waffles left, or did you eat all of them?"
"There's still a couple left, I only took one." Finally some good news. Without wasting any time, I went in and grabbed my waffles and ate them before anyone else could wake up, which didn't take very long. I was just putting my plate in the sink when I heard a yawn coming from the living room.
"Morning sunshine!" I called with a smirk.
"What time is it?" Pandora asked in response.
"It's half past I don't care."
"Ha ha, very funny." She yawned again and headed upstairs (I think she went to go comb her mane or something, but I don't really care). Meanwhile, I decided to go looking for Chris, mainly since I didn't really have anything better to do (it was either that or go mess with Lyra again). Pushing open the door, I was not surprised whatsoever to see Final Hour (maybe a little).
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I came to talk to Skamper for a little," she replied, and for once she didn't have that damn smirk on her face. I just shrugged and let her get past me before heading towards the bar where we met Vinyl (I couldn't really think of any other place she would go). When I got in, there was music blasting just like last time, but no DJ at the turn table. The missing DJ was instead sitting at a table with Chris, who was actually smiling and having fun. I could see he had the same drink he had when we came here (SISSY). Then I saw Vinyl lean towards him, and his smile vanished (What, you afraid of kissing a pony or something?). I decided to help him out, and used my fourth wall breaking powers to turn invisible. Moving up behind him, I gave him a shove, pushing him straight into her. The look on his face turned from discomfort to shock, and I made sure he spotted me before it wore off (He gave me a very big glare). Vinyl didn't notice, she was too busy kissing him (I was tempted to snatch her shades). Eventually, Chris loosened up and went with the program. Deciding my work was done, I put on my headphones and started my music. I pushed my way outside, and smacked heads with Lyra (Note to self. WATCH WHERE THE FUCK I'M GOING).
"Ow," I said, rubbing my forehead. "Sorry about that."
"No, it's my fault," she replied. "I wasn't paying attention."
"Thinking about humans again?" Her face turned red.
"Yes, I can't help it. I know they're out there, I just need to find one."
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get lucky someday." She smiled and headed into the bar, while I laughed on the inside like an asshole (I really need to stop that...). After telling my inner self to shut the fuck up, I headed towards Sugarcube Corner for a bite to eat (Thankfully there was no Pinkie Pie there, otherwise I would've been there much longer than ten minutes.). With cupcakes and muffins in hand (errr hoof), I made my way back to Twilight's place, almost getting tackled by my favorite character on the way there, though I quickly solved that by giving Derpy all the muffins that I had (I love her eyes, they're so cute!). I opened the door to see nothing out of the ordinary, Peter was chatting with Final Hour and Dawn Whistle was napping (Not a very big surprise). Pandora was reading a book, and glanced up at me as I entered. I returned the look with a smile and she started to blush (HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG). Since I was pretty bored, I decided to just go in the kitchen and eat my cupcakes, completely ignoring the fact that Final Hour and Peter were holding hooves (well, maybe not completely).
I officially hate Tyler right now. Kissing Vinyl wasn't bad, that's for sure, but did he really have to push me? Anyway, after Vinyl was done kissing me, we had some lunch and mainly just talked. Eventually, she had to get back to work, so she went back to her booth and I left the club. About five minutes later I burst through the door to Twilight's house.
"Not cool," I said, pointing at Tyler.
"Oh come on, you know you liked it," he replied (I wanted to smack him so badly). I could see Pandora was reading and Dawn Whistle was napping (why am I not surprised?). Otherwise, the house was empty. There was no sign of Peter, Matthew, or Twilight.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"Twilight went to Canterlot, Peter is on a date with Final Hour, and Matthew is on a date with Octavia." My mind kind of went 'wtf?' when he said Peter was dating Final Hour, but with all that's happened recently, I wasn't really easy to surprise any more. I ended up just sighing and pulling out my notepad. I was just about to start drawing when Zephyr came in.
"What the fuck do you want?" Tyler asked.
"I was going to take Dawn on another date," he replied, blushing a little bit. Dawn Whistle stirred at her name and woke up.
"Oh hey Zephy," she said happily (Zephy... heheheHAHAHA!)
"Hey Dawn, you want to go to the bar again?"
"Sure!" They walked out, and Tyler looked at me with a grin and a raised eyebrow.
"Let me guess, you want to spy on them," I said with another sigh.
"Fine, but I'm telling them it was your idea if we get caught." We slipped out and followed them from the air, flying from cloud to cloud so they wouldn't see us. We saw a few Royal Guards walking around town, so I assumed that Storm Shadow had told his captain. Anyway, back to spying. We followed them for a good twenty minutes (Freaking Dawn had to stop and smell every fucking flower). When they finally got to the bar, I was getting bored and annoyed. We entered and sat where we could still see them, but it would be difficult for them to identify us. The first thing I noticed was that Dawn Whistle drank, a lot. She went through five rounds in the time it took Tyler to go through two. By the time she was done, her eyes were half-lidded and I could hear her slurring voice. Zephyr didn't seem to care, though he did drink much less than her.
"I'm getting out of here before they head for the bathroom together or something," I said, getting out of my seat and walking outside. I expected it to be the same as before we walked in, but instead I saw a crater in the ground and a line of guards near the front of town (Apparently I had not heard anything because of the loud ass music in the club.). My thoughts immediately went to Arcane. He must have attacked early because he thought we would only warn the guard when we got back to town. He didn't know that we had already warned Storm Shadow before he met us.
"Well fuck," Tyler said, apparently having followed me out. "So what are we going to do? Kick some ass?"
"I kind of doubt that. I created Arcane, so I know how powerful he is. The most we would be able to do is stall him."
"Stalling is what I do best! Especially with my new fourth-wall breaking abilities." I facehoofed so hard when he said that. Of course he would know how to break the fourth-wall. Tyler immediately teleported, appearing behind a couple of Arcane's guards. He smiled at them before smashing their heads together, knocking them unconscious. He repeated the process a few more times, though occasionally he annoyed the guards by walking on their heads or dodging their attacks. Personally, I was impressed. Tyler was a good fighter, having learned of bit of martial arts, but I've never really seen him use it. One guard who almost managed to barbeque Tyler with a fireball lost a few teeth in return. After seeing him take out around twenty guards single handedly (err hoofedly?), I stopped waiting on the side lines and went in too. It wasn't as easy as Tyler made it look, and I almost got electrocuted, frozen, and burned to death. I think I even spotted Storm Shadow a couple times, knocking a few heads together and actually giving one guard a broken foreleg. I thought we were actually going to win, at least until Arcane showed up anyway.
A/N: Frankly, Tyler and I can't think of anything else to continue the story, so chapter 18 will be the last. I hope you have all enjoyed this fic, and that you will think about reading our stories in the future.
So, I'm kicking ass and Chris is standing there like a drooling idiot (just kidding). I had just finished making two of Arcane's guards punch each other into submission (wasn't really hard, I just had to act like a fly and get in front of them and move at the right time.) when Arcane appeared with a high and mighty look on his face (someone took their pills today!). Being the smart guy that I am, I teleported up and smacked him right across the face. When he turned to face me, I was already behind him. He kept turning, and I kept sidestepping to stay behind him. Some of the guards were actually watching us and laughing.
"What are you laughing at!?" Arcane snapped at one of them. The guard only pointed while he tried to stifle his laughter. Arcane spun around to face me, while I kept a manic grin on my face and stared him directly in the eye. While he was distracted, I could see Chris flying above the fight and heading for us. Arcane was about to follow my gaze, but I slapped him again.
"You insolent fool!" he almost shouted, rubbing his cheek with a hoof. "I'll roast you where you stand!"
"Have fun with that," I replied, sidestepping as Chris tackled Arcane to the ground and knocked him out with a punch to the forehead.
"That was too easy," Chris said, rubbing his chin. No sooner had he said that, 'Arcane' started to change colors. Pretty soon, there was a unicorn guard laying unconscious on the ground.
"Very intuitive, aren't you Mr. Paradox?" said a familiar voice. I turned to see the real Arcane standing behind us, an unconscious Pandora held between two guards beside him. Now normally, I don't get angry very easily. But after seeing how bruised up Pandora was, I had pure murder on my mind. I was ready to turn Arcane's head a full 360 if I had to. Before I could, Chris grabbed me and pulled me closer.
"You teleport and get Pandora out of there, I'll distract Arcane," he whispered, glaring at me to make sure I got the message. Immediately after he let go, I did just as I was told. When Pandora was safely in Twilight's house, I went back outside to see Chris dodging fireballs with a bad limp in his left leg and most of the feathers on his left wing gone. Running over to him like an idiot, I mistakenly jumped right in front of a fireball. But instead of getting incinerated on the spot, I was hit by a smoldering corpse, which I recognized as Chris when it began to talk (he wasn't really badly burned for some reason... Equestrian physics, Y U NO NORMAL).
"Do you ever listen?" he coughed.
"You know I don't, and you never know when to quit," I replied, grinding my teeth from how angry I was.
"Well, have fun with the rest of your life here," he said, his voice getting weaker, reminding me that when we die we go back to Earth (It also made sense that way how he didn't really care.). However, my thoughts were interrupted when the previously burned corpse sitting next to me got up and ran away without so much as a scratch. My only thought as I was given my own fireball was 'Dafuq?'
Dying didn't really hurt that much, and you know I'm lying. I burned to death for crying out loud, and I have no idea how Chris wasn't screaming before he died, because I know I did. Once that was over though, I was greeted by the familiar black abyss that led me to Equestria. Only this time I was going in reverse, and ended up collapsed on the floor in Chris's house for some reason.
"Looks like he got you too," Chris said, drinking some root beer while he played Battlefield 3.
"Yeah, and how the fuck were you not screaming?" I asked.
"Oh, I used the same ability I used when I accidentally created our 'sisters.'"
"Okay, then how come Paradox got right back up?"
"Same thing, I made sure that Paradox and Nightwish would become their own ponies and live their own lives. And before you ask, I also imagined Arcane being pushed back to the castle in the Everfree, so everything should be alright."
"Sounds good," I paused for a second, getting a mischievous grin on my face. "When can we do it again?" Chris groaned and facepalmed in annoyance.
Author's Note: If you're thinking of complaining, think of how I'm in college and I'm lazy.