FLUTTERSHY: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a FLUTTERSHY unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of his abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit loves animals and nature till breaking point. If you harm any innocent living thing in front of this unit, prepare for a world of pain. All necessary precautions you should take for your own safety are in this manual. Thus, we will not entertain any refunds, complaints or charges due to injury from your purchased unit.
Name: She responds to Fluttershy and Mama.
Age: Older than our PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Cloudsdale
Height: Default pony height
Weight: Thin as hell
Length: ...Long enough for you to ride. As in sit on. Yes. Not whatever you're thinking.
Your FLUTTERSHY unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) ANGEL BUNNY unit (These complimentary units will be cared for by your FLUTTERSHY unit unless she is in Psychoshy mode- see below)
Ten (10) random animal units (COLLECT ALL 100! EACH PACKET CONTAINS 10! ONLY 10 US DOLLARS PER PACKET!)
One (1) Grand Galloping Gala dress
And if you have the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY EXPANSION SET coming free with the (not free) MANE SIX BUNDLE PACK:
One (1) Element of Kindness Necklace
Your FLUTTERSHY unit is capable of doing the following:
Babysitter: Your FLUTTERSHY unit is programmed to be a wonderful mother to any life form. Baby units, animal units, your slutty cousin's annoying illegitimate child she had when she was fourteen- she can take care of them, no problem. However, if she goes into Psychoshy mode while babysitting, she will be... clingy. Contact us in case of any life-threatening situation.
Silent Killer: Even without sending the unit into an insane frenzy, you can easily transform your FLUTTERSHY unit into an effective assassin. If you, say, swing a genuine 100% tiger fur coat in front of her and said that it belongs to that stuck-up put-on-ten-pounds-of-make-up-per-day whore at school, you'll find her dead by the time you can say 'yay'. And best of all- no one will know. After all, your unit is so innocent and sweet! (However, if the crime is traced to you, we're not taking responsibility.)
Beggar: With that irresistible quivering lip look, even without the puppy eyes and tears this unit can evoke sympathy out of the most iron willed men. Purchasing many FLUTTERSHY units to use as abused beggars will be very healthy for your wallet.
Removal of your FLUTTERSHY unit from Packaging
Our FLUTTERSHY unit is the sweetest and least provokable of all units, but anyone could have a bad day. To avoid a severe case of Puppyeyeintus, we have compiled a list of more acceptable ways to wake up your unit.
1. Take the ANGEL BUNNY unit or any of the animal units and start playing with them. She will slowly creep out to join. Be gentle, and she will have a good first impression of you. She may even tell you her name in an audible volume. Recommended.
2. Bake some delectable vegetarian treats and make the smell waft over to the box. Your FLUTTERSHY unit will burst out before gently floating over to the table. She will devour the snacks eagerly, warming up to you. Also recommended.
3. Hurt any of the animal units. Their cries will force your FLUTTERSHY unit into Protective mode, making her kick herself out of the box and give the offender The Stare/a telling off and threats to tell the aforementioned person's mother/kill the culprit. Thus, it is recommended for your arch nemesis to do this.
4. Instruct any MANE SIX units to open the box. The sight of a familiar friend will coax FLUTTERSHY out of the box. However, if said MANE SIX unit has anything bad to say about you, prepare to die.
5. Write a love story between two trees and exclaim 'WOW, I WONDER WHO WILL READ A BOOK ABOUT THE ROMANCE BETWEEN TWO TREES'. Your FLUTTERSHY unit will be at your side in seconds and read your work enthusiastically, no matter how badly written it is. She will then compliment you on taking a 'different' approach to romance and offer to be your friend.
After unpacking your FLUTTERSHY unit, you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:
Your FLUTTERSHY unit comes in Shy and Kind mode. She will be soft-spoken and attempt to be the best friend you can ever have, protecting everything that is nice to her. Anyone whom she likes will be treated as a great friend. However, she is also rather overprotective, though not as much as Protective mode. In Protective mode, which is activated by harming her friends, all traces of shyness is erased and she will immediately defend her friends with a meat cleaver. If you dare to hurt her friends in that mode, prepare to die. Again. Only in these modes can she use the Element of Kindness Necklace.
Psychoshy mode is the scariest mode FLUTTERSHY has, seconded only by Gungirl. She will be extremely clingy, hoarding and keeping all her friends in any enclosed dungeon/chamber/evil place of doom that they are incapable of escaping from. She will never allow any of her friends or 'children' to leave her, lest they want to be skinned alive as an example to the rest. To reset her back to default mode, you must let her see the error of her ways by showing the suffering her friends are going through. To get her IN this mode in the first place, you must make her become frustrated over animals not liking her.
Sad mode is activated by insulting or bashing FLUTTERSHY. She will immediately start crying and apologize incessantly. If a Default RAINBOW DASH unit is nearby, she will comfort your FLUTTERSHY unit back to Default mode if she did not see you criticize her. If the RAINBOW DASH unit DID see you, there is a 99% chance of a shitstorm that's coming right at you.
During the mating season for horses, FLUTTERSHY will automatically go into Horny mode. In this mode, she forces all pony units, mare and stallion alike, to ride the living daylights out of her. Since she is incapable of becoming pregnant until further advances into the science of robotics, she doesn't care about trivial stuff like condoms and safety. No unit is safe in this mode. She will even demand PRINCESS CELESTIA to engage in sordid activities with her. If left alone with any young and attractive humans in this mode, they will be met with not-so-educational enlightenment about bestiality. It is recommended for you to reset her CLOCK programming every time the mating season draws close. She tends to wear her Grand Galloping Gala dress while in this mode to appear more attractive.
Your FLUTTERSHY unit's Gungirl mode is only activated when her closest friends declare war against any common enemy. At first, FLUTTERSHY will try to convince her friends to settle the matter without violence. However, once one of her friends are hurt, all hell will break loose. She will have a warm smile implanted on her face, happy she is helping her friends by killing. She will carry the same smile while firing a shotgun. Otherwise, she acts just like default, though she is stronger and less shy, willing to stand up for herself and shoot the shit out of you. To reset your FLUTTERSHY unit, you must contact us. We will send a team to resolve your war and reset all units.
Relationships with Other Units
RAINBOW DASH: Having been to flight school together, FLUTTERSHY is quite close to RAINBOW DASH. RAINBOW DASH also tends to take the role of protecting your FLUTTERSHY unit from any harm. RAINBOW DASH also helped your unit get her Cutie Mark, so she is quite close to her.
MANE SIX PACK: While RAINBOW DASH gets a special mention for being quite close to FLUTTERSHY, your unit treats the rest of the MANE SIX PACK equally. They are all her great friends, and she will stick with them to the end. The chance of romance between any of them is high if any of the units take the initiative.
ANGEL BUNNY: This unit is her 'baby', and she will pamper and spoil him incessantly. Dare to touch him and your face will be introduced to her two hind hoofs. Same goes for other animal units.
Your FLUTTERSHY unit will clean herself, but she won't mind if you shower with her, though she will be more shy than usual.
Your unit will sleep regularly at 9pm in your timezone and wake up at 6am. Nothing comes in her way when it comes to sleeping. Nothing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Why are there moans coming from the other room?
A. Is your unit in Horny mode? If so, save the poor victim that your FLUTTERSHY unit is screwing with.
Q. Why did my FLUTTERSHY unit just kill some of her animal units?
A. Congratulations! You have unlocked her Psychoshy mode! Now get the hell out of there.
Problem: Instead of a adult-sized FLUTTERSHY unit, you received a small and shrunken down FLUTTERSHY unit which does not have a Cutie Mark. She tries to fly but always fails horribly.
Solution: Whoops! We sent you a FILLY FLUTTERSHY unit. This unit is a weak flyer and not yet introduced to the wonders of the ground. We can switch her for your ordered unit if you contact us.
Problem: Your unit has taken to writing tree romance stories as a hobby, and it's leaving all readers scarred for life.
Solution: You used Method 5 to get her out of her packaging, didn't you? There is no known way to reverse this except for a full system reboot. Contact us if you really can't stand stories of trees caressing each other in inappropriate places all over the house.
If treated with kindness and love, FLUTTERSHY unit will be a wonderful companion! We wish you luck!
DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of his abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit is particularly dangerous. Prolonged usage may cause you to switch personalities, fade in color, become evil and/or develop an addiction to chocolate rain. All necessary precautions you should take for your own safety are in this manual. Thus, we will not entertain any refunds, complaints or charges due to injury from your purchased unit.
Name: He responds to Discord, Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, or Great Ruler of Everything that Breathes.
Age: So old this guide cannot provide the exact number.
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Canterlot
Height: If you mean width, then well, he has been drinking a lot of chocolate rain...
Length: Very long. Take that however you will.
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) gem of disharmony
One (1) gem of chaos
Three (3) cool hipster shades
One (1) FAKE gem of disharmony
One (1) FAKE gem of chaos
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS is capable of doing the following:
Gangster: In need of some extra cash? Your unit will be glad to collect some protection money for you! Spreading misery is his forte, after all. However, you must make sure to give him some of the dough.
Blackmailer: When equipped with the real gems, your unit will be able to do some pretty crazy stuff you can hold other people at fault for! It's the perfect plan- want to get rid of your bitchy sister-in-law, or prove that your school is terrible enough to shut down and get a few days off? Send DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS to work and he'll have you first-class blackmailing material in a matter of minutes! Just... don't let him go crazy.
Magician: He's not as good as our TRIXIE unit in terms of keeping the crowd uninjured, but he'll be able to attract tons of people with his chaotic tricks! You'll have money flowing to your pockets in no time! You might want to buy insurance, though.
Removal of your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit from Packaging
Our DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit is the most unstable and sadistic unit of all, so you must take extra precaution unpacking him. To avoid terrible injuries, we have compiled a list of more acceptable ways to wake up your unit.
1. Throw any of the gems, fake or real, out of the window while exclaiming 'OH NO! THE GEMS!'. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit will immediately launch out of his box and grab the gems. He will then proceed to absorb them, so if you want to give him magic abilities, you must use the real gems when unpacking him using this method. Giving him the fake gems will probably tick him off. You should destroy the real gems if you want to leave him unable to perform magic.
2. Yell out 'THE MANE SIX ARE AWESOME' while standing away as far as possible. Your unit will punch its way out of the packaging and go on a wild manhunt for you. If you give him any of the hipster shades, he will forgive you.
3. Play the My Little Pony theme song as loudly as possible. This works the same way as the previous method. Again, the hipster shades will prevent him from destroying you iPod.
4. Create havoc close to the package where the DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit is located. He will crawl out slowly and gladly join in. This is the most recommended way, since your unit will get a good first impression of you.
5. Just open the box and hope that he's in a good mood.
After unpacking your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit, you can reprogram him into any of the following modes:
DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS comes in Sadistic and Playful mode by default. Regardless of whether he can or cannot perform magic, he can and will cause chaos. He loves seeing miserable beings, ponies or humans alike, and takes a liking to toying with the Laws of Physics, Thermodynamics and completely messing up everything science believes in. If he likes you, he may let you rule alongside him. However, if you ever have ideas on conquering the world, we will dispatch a highly-trained team to deactivate your unit.
Useless mode is only activated by convincing, after weeks of work, that chaos and disharmony is useless and people are best left united. This will leave him in a depressed state, dampening everyone's day. If you want him to go back to default mode, shut him in with a Sad FLUTTERSHY unit, helping him rekindle with his love for misery. This is also the only way to get him into Reformed mode. While in Useless mode, leave him with an Encouraging TWILIGHT SPARKLE to enable him to go into Reformed mode. If you want to go back to default mode through Reformed mode, you must send him to our headquarters so we can re-program him.
BE-Era- meaning 'Before Equestria-Era'- is just as bubbly, happy and trustworthy as his Reformed mode. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit was programmed with a past self who was the Spirit of Peace, Happiness and Trust. To activate, you must make him go under hypnosis. Contact your local hypnotician for help on how to hypnotize someone into believing he is in the past. Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit has a similar brain to that of a human's, so it should not be too complex.
Snapped mode is locked away, and for a good reason. You can only activate this mode by leaving him with a Insane PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit. The two units will probably work together to abduct ponies and create cupcakes out of their flesh. The difference between the default DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit and a Snapped DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS is that the Snapped unit is not below killing to create chaos. If you want to re-program him... good luck. We're not helping you out of a mess you made.
Relationships with Other Units
TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Hate. Pure hate. There are no other words for it.
PRINCESS CELESTIA: He hates her as well, crushing his uprising to evil. He likes to taunt her on the fact that her sister PRINCESS LUNA had followed in his footsteps later on. She was also the one who made him bored of peace and made him realize that messing up a few things was 'fun'. However, DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS took it too far.
PRINCESS LUNA: He hates her as well, but can get along better with her. She DOES understand why he turned to evil, after all. She will try to reform him, along with the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, and may succeed, though using the above method is more efficient.
PINKAMENA DIANE PIE: He thinks that the PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit is easy to manipulate and has the most potential for discord. They'd get along well... but your PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit may wake up in Cannibal mode one day.
Your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit can clean himself perfectly fine, thank you very much.
Being a powerful being, he doesn't sleep. He likes closing his eyes and resting though. But he is NOT sleeping, so no putting-ant-in-bed tricks will work on him.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. My DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit isn't coming out of the box!
A. This only happens when using Method 5 in unpacking. He could be in a foul mood. Leave him be, he will come out sooner or later. Do not provoke him, unless you want to be facing the brunt of his chaotic powers.
Q. My unit just adopted a pet rock and tried to get it to do a barrel roll!
A. Your unit is probably in the early stages of Snapped mode. Contact tech support immediately.
Problem: Instead of a large dragon, you got a SPIKE-sized pink dragon cub with the same body shape as a DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit. He can't speak and sticks to PRINCESS CELESTIA units.
Solution: Whoops! We sent you a BABY DISCORD unit. This unit thinks of Princess Celestia as his elder sister and clings onto her. He also had random spurts of uncontrolled magic. We can switch him for your ordered unit if you contact us.
Problem: Your unit is breaking into manic laughter frequently and frankly, it's scaring you.
Solution: Another sign of your unit going into Snapped mode. Contact us. Now.
With enough care, love, and chaos, your DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit will be your perfect trouble-making buddy! We wish you luck!
PRINCESS LUNA: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a PRINCESS LUNA unit of your very own! For your safety and the protection of your sanity, we have provided this manual to ensure you are fully aware of the risks and the functions of this unit to be able to fully enjoy our product by squeezing every last drop of wonderful out of it!
WARNING: This unit has a tendency to:
Declare eternal night
Speak in Middle English
Tick off PRINCESS CELESTIA units from time to time
Reading of this guide will lower the chances of any of the above happening. (Except the Middle English part. We can't do anything about that. It's in her basic programming.)
Name: Her casual name is Luna, though she prefers Princess Luna unless you are exceptionally close to her. She also responds to Regent of the Night, though constant repetition of that title will make her a narcissist.
Age: She took her driving test on a dinosaur. A moon dinosaur.
Place of Manufacture: The Moon
Height: Around an average male's height
Weight: Exactly 500 kilograms, the normal weight for a pony her size. However, if she eats too much she will gain weight but not care much, stating 'trans-dimensional planetary movement' is very good exercise.
Length: Longer then normal mares but not as long as our PRINCESS CELESTIA unit.
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) black crown
One (1) moon bib
One (1) Nightmare Moon outfit
Ten (10) bottles of moonshine (Not meant for human consumption, unless you want to get arrested. Order from us if you require more.)
WARNING: Do not point out how her moon bib 'looks like it's designed for fillies'. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit may become violent if so, and have a distinct chance of going into Infuriated mode.
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is capable of doing the following:
The Boss: She can't be a tyrant like our PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, but she can be bossy! Imagine if you're assigned to a group project for school, and your teammates are a bunch of douchebags who will surely leave all the work to you. Simply set PRINCESS LUNA loose on them with the promise of friendship and 'you're doing the right thing', and they'll be a-working in no time! (WARNING: Both physical or psychological damage caused by our PRINCESS LUNA has to be taken responsibility of by the owner of the unit.)
Actress: With her Shakespearean English and wonderfully developed acting skills from centuries of mental trauma, backstabbing and fake love, your PRINCESS LUNA will be the perfect actress! Never mind that she has the body of a pony; have you ever heard of stage design before? Heck, any scriptwriter with good sense will take pleasure in somehow throwing a talking pony into a sacred, already-perfect play!
Rebel: Your country is being taken over by a crappy president? Student council turning into the high school equivalent of the US Congress? No fear! Your PRINCESS LUNA has tons of experience on rebelling from way back during her Nightmare Moon days! All you need to do is explain why rebelling is needed; if she approves, leave the publicity, riots and eventual succession to her! If she doesn't approve, just bribe her with cake. However, this may make your unit go into Nightmare Moon mode if she is left doing this for too long.
Drinker: Your PRINCESS LUNA loves moonshine to bits, ever since she made it many eons ago. This had made her extremely alcohol-tolerant and she can definitely win any drinking contest, no matter the drink (though moonshine is preferred. Preferred very, very much.)
Removal of your PRINCESS LUNA unit from Packaging
While our PRINCESS LUNA unit is one of rational judgement, there are some things that will get on her nerves, especially if the delivery man says that the package had encountered bad traffic while it was being delivered. To avoid instant death or loss of body parts, we have tested and proven that the following methods will successfully remove your unit from her packaging!
1. Fill a wine glass with moonshine and let the smell swill towards the box, or clink it on another wine glass. It is advised to hide behind a strong object whilst doing it, as there will be a 90% chance of flying wood splinters as your PRINCESS LUNA unit scrambles out of the box to get it. Once she breaks out, she will chug down the moonshine, though it is recommended to keep it away from your unit to avoid getting your unit drunk. Your unit will apologize for her behavior and introduce herself to you. Recommended.
2. Get a PRINCESS CELESTIA unit in Motherly mode (default) to coax your unit out of the box. It will normally work well in all modes except Nightmare Moon mode. If your value your house and your life, it is advised not to use this method if there is even the slightest chance your unit is in Nightmare Moon mode. Also, if used when the PRINCESS LUNA unit is in Lunaughty mode, you might want to reprogram your unit quickly if you are not in the pairing.
3. Say 'TO THE MOON!' in the best PRINCESS CELESTIA voice you can manage, preferably sounding like you are in Trollestia mode. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit will start shaking so hard the box will start to fall apart. You can remove the lid, and your PRINCESS LUNA unit will be overjoyed you are not in fact a PRINCESS CELESTIA unit. You can then proceed to introduce yourself. Recommended. (Just don't tell your PRINCESS LUNA unit you said that, or she might go into Infuriated mode. This unit isn't exactly the brightest bulb we've manufactured, just wise.)
4. Get your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit in FRIEEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIP mode (default) to coax your unit out of the box. Works the same way with Method 2, except your unit may end up destroying your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit if in Nightmare Moon mode instead of just wrecking the place.
After unpacking your PRINCESS LUNA unit, you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is more easily reverted back to her default modes, Awkward and Trusting, than most other units. In her default modes, she is uncomfortable with new technology and rather socially retarded, but eager to learn and gain new friendships, trusting others to help her if she is in need. She also has an attachment to nostalgic objects and moonshine.
In Infuriated mode, which is triggered whenever you hurt a unit close to her or say a snide comment, she will become violent and revert back to her Royal Canterlot voice, screaming at you and possibly bucking you out of the window before ransacking your house for moonshine. A single cup of moonshine can revert her back to her default modes, and she will apologize for behaving so foalishly. She may potentially damage priceless family artifact or break into the neighbor's house to look for moonshine in this mode.
Your PRINCESS LUNA may also go into Nightmare Moon mode, which is attained when your unit is in Infuriated mode for too long or is too rebellious for extended periods of time, eventually snapping or developing her own 'revolutionary ideas'. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is extremely hostile to PRINCESS CELESTIA units in this mode. Your unit may not necessarily want to cause eternal night, but she might have equally batshit insane ideas.
Philosophical/Emo is unlocked by you telling your PRINCESS LUNA unit that no, she doesn't actually raise the moon, and that she is in fact a robot with no magical talents whatsoever, and that her cutie mark is obsolete. She will immediately start thinking in deep, philosophical terms, contemplating her existence while chugging down bottles of stolen moonshine. She does not cause any injuries or damages in this state, but she may end up causing a filthy stinking mess all over your house whenever she pukes from being too drunk. This is reversed by leaving your PRINCESS LUNA unit with an Encouraging TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit.
Lunaughty mode is activated when your unit is drunk, or when the mating season comes around. She will start using her Royal Canterlot voice to broadcast her availability and command all lesser males, pony or human, to elope with her. This mode can be deactivated by either knocking out your unit, resetting her CLOCK programming or locking her up in a dark room till she satisfies herself with her hoof.
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit does not currently have any overly destructive end-of-the-world modes which have been locked, and we do not plan to change that unless a large amount of people send us money.
Relationships with Other Units
PRINCESS CELESTIA: Your unit shares a love-hate relationship with her sister. While your PRINCESS LUNA unit loves the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit for sparing her and caring for her despite what she has done, she despises the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit for being overly popular and having a tendency to switch to Trollestia mode in the most unneeded of times. Other then that, your unit gets along very well with the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, and the chance of romance is highest with this unit.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE: The TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is very close to your unit, as she was the first to approach your PRINCESS LUNA unit to be friends. They get along very well, though the TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit does not approve of your unit's drinking habits. There is a moderate chance of romance with this unit.
MANE SIX PACK: Your unit gets along well with the entire Mane Six, and will approach them in a time of need.
Your PRINCESS LUNA may have slight problems using the shower/any piece of modern technology and prefers to bath in a clean pond. It is advised to provide an idiot-proof method for her to clean herself.
The PRINCESS LUNA unit is nocturnal and sleeps around dawn, awaking at dusk to 'raise the moon'. She believes sleep is very important and it is advised to only wake her up during her sleeping time if it is of absolute emergency. She may also fall asleep when she is too drunk on moonshine to wander the world of the conscious.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. My unit is demanding me for moonshine! What do I do?
A. Give her the moonshine. QUICKLY.
Q. My unit is in Philosophical/Emo mode without me telling her anything!
A. There is a possibility that she has discovered moonshine is now considered illegal. It is advised to tell her that the moonshine from our company is perfectly legal, while making sure not to mention it is legal because she is a robot and not a sentient being.
Problem: Instead of the PRINCESS LUNA unit, you received a small filly with light blue hair and no cutie mark. She is unable to talk in English and stares at the moon a lot. She also loves the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, clinging onto her.
Solution: Oops! We sent you a FILLY PRINCESS LUNA unit. She is only able to talk in Moonwhinny and still has not been able to raise the moon. We can send you a replacement if so.
Problem: Your unit is starting to brew moonshine and sell it illegally.
Solution: Uh-oh! As you can see, your unit's alcohol habit causes many, many problems. It is advised to stop her or make her kick her habit before you are arrested by authorities.
If treated with proper respect and given friendship, your PRINCESS LUNA unit will surely bring light to your life! We wish you the best of luck with your unit!