There once was a mare from Peartucket,
Who kept all her bits in a bucket.
But her colt, named Pear,
Ran off with a mare,
And as for the bucket, Peartucket.
But she followed the pair to Mawtucket,
The mare and the colt and the bucket.
And she said to the mare,
She was welcome to Pear,
But as for the bucket, Mawtucket.
Of this story we hear from Peartucket,
About the mysterious loss of a bucket,
We are sorry for Pear,
As well as the mare,
The bits and the bucket, Mawtucket.
Ma said, “Pear, about the bucket:
If it’s money you need, I don’t lack it.
I could give you some bits,
And you could use your wits.
There was no need for your mare to jack it.
Then the pair followed Ma to Marehasset,
Where she still held the cash as an asset.
But Pear and the mare
Took the money on a dare,
And as for the bucket, Marehasset.
The theft sent the whole island reeling,
When Pear and his mare went a-stealing.
Pear grabbed some cards and a tent,
To West Verwhinnya she went,
Ma found Pear dealing and wheeling.
There now is a mare from Peartucket,
Who used to have cash in a bucket.
Today, we admit,
She hasn’t a bit,
Since the mare who ran off with Peartucket.
The bucket showed up in Yuno,
And the bits that it held caused a row,
Such that Pear and his mate
As they fled the estate,
Grabbed the bucket and ran, don’t Yuno.
Pear’s tryst with the mare soon turned sour.
(Particularly when she refused to shower.)
So Pear on the lam
Told the mare she could scram,
And they split when they reached Neighganour.
Pear decided to chuck it —
The adventure, the mare, and Ma’s bucket.
She opened a store,
Selling biscuits and more,
And, delighted, grew rich in Peartucket.
Pear’s lover was Sand from Madassan,
Where she returned to rethink her plan;
Not the lost love of Pear,
But Ma’s gold in her care.
And now Pear and mare are Madassan.
Now where in Hell is that bucket?
Has it resurfaced again in Peartucket?
I just can’t keep track.
Did somepony bring it back?
Are there bits left; could we order a buffet?
The bucket was stashed in Alpaca.
It was found by a mare named Manaca.
She said with a grin,
“I know it’s a sin,”
“But I’ll hide it in Limecoln, Neighbraca!”
When she trucked the bucket to Limecoln,
Manaca started herself a-thinkin’.
Perhaps I’ll call Pear,
And be his new mare,
And up with him I’ll be linkin’!
Let’s be clear on Sir Pear and his mate:
The bucket of bits sealed his fate.
Though his motives were pure,
And the good life seemed sure,
‘Twas a community property state.
Now Ma was back in Peartucket,
Wondering where in the heck was her bucket.
She tried to call Pear,
But instead got a mare,
‘Twas Manaca from Neighbraca — buck it!
Why all the fuss ‘bout this bucket?
Sure, Pear and his mare left and tucket.
But Ma still owns land
out on Sankitty strand
When she sells, all those bits she’ll just truck it!
There once was a mare from Peartucket,
Who gave me her Peartucket bucket.
By doing her part,
She won my heart,
And I fell for that mare from Peartucket.
For the next few years, then, the mare,
Wondered where she went wrong with her Pear.
But living with me,
She let it stay history,
“No more children!” she would declare.
When I learned of Pear’s grand adventure,
And his multiple mare misadventure,
I had to get out,
But my mare gave me doubt:
“Pear’s started a brand new venture.”
The lawyer we hired, Dame Shuckat,
Advised we two ponies to chuck it.
An offer to settle,
That tested our mettle.
And as for our fortune, Damtucket.
So don’t put your bits in a bucket.
Remember the mare from Peartucket.
Her own family stole
And left her in a hole.
And as for Pear — tucket, the bucket.
As for the saga of Pear and the mare,
They headed north with Ma and a hare.
They hid the old bucket
Without the cash from Peartucket
Down the well at a house on Cape Air.
Now Pear’s mate has become a mother,
He’s got three foals sired with his lover.
Two pegasus: green and white,
Plus unicorn black as night,
Three fillies that all want a brother!
Manaca is willing to foal again,
But Pear is already stretched thin.
Five mouths is a lot
Without bits in a pot!
The wheels of history turn once again.
The mare and her Pear fight over the issue,
Until Pear coughs into a tissue.
The tissue comes away red,
Pear falls over dead,
And he’s no longer concerned with the issue!
The news of his death spreads through Peartucket.
(They remember the deal with the bucket.)
His fillies cry,
His mother gives a sigh,
“I thought I’d be first to kick the bucket.”
Manaca found herself another stallion
(He’s extremely sexy, and Bitalian).
The fillies hoped for a colt
And nearly started a revolt
When he turned out to lead the Changeling battalion!
The invasion was defeated forthwith.
Manaca kept looking, and found ‘John Smith’.
The family no longer had time
To fiddle with rhyme,
As he said, “Run away — forthwith!”
After all of these years in Peartucket,
With births and kicking the bucket,
What more can we say
About Manaca today?
But she and her mate found the bucket!
The bucket had aged and rusted.
The whole thing looked rather busted.
The fillies found joy
With a brand new old toy.
John Smith — to them he entrusted.
And who should walk by but their father?
Meeting a dead stallion, what a bother!
John edged away
And made off for the day
To let the girls stay with their biological father.
Manaca was sorely confused
As Pear looked bemused,
“The Doctor has a knack,”
“For leaving ponies lost and confused!”