Entry 1 - 4:32 AM - 31st August
My bunnies have been sick all night, I gave them some food and they are starting to feel better now, but the chickens have just woken up with the flu and need attention. I have been up all night and I'm really starting to get tired. I hope nothing too weird happens to me from staying up all night.
My Mood: Really really tired
Entry 2 - 7:46 AM - 31st August
After the chickens at 5AM came the birds with a bad case of chicken pox, I think. Anyway. Maybe I can finally get some rest, even though it's early morning. Oh I hope I didn't Jinx that.... Ok I better get going. I don't know what I'm gonna do with this diary, maybe show it to my bunnies to show them how much they put me through tonight This morning... OH FOR FUCKS SAKE Oh sorry I didn't mean to swear... Twilight is at my door. I better get rid of her so I can sleep.
My Mood: Sleepy
Entry 3 - 11:21 AM - 31st August
Twilight said it was urgent, and she insisted I go with her which isn't unusual. I told her I was tired and she had none of it so I reluctantly followed her to her library which needed cleaning... That was the urgency by the way. She needed help with cleaning the library. AJ expressed some interest in my animal services too. the cows were due to stampede again and she wanted me to calm them down. I don't see why I shouldn't, Applejack is my friend and I should help her. The same with the rest of them
My Mood: Not giving a flying feather about Twilight's books
Entry 4 - No idea on the time - 31st August
Getting really tired right now, had a gentle talk with the cows in the field. Although Applejack was giving me a funny look as I talked to them. You know the look.. The "Did you have too many ciders last night?" Look.
I thought I talked perfectly normal to the cows. I gave them a short talk on how stampeding would disturb the town and frighten it's residents.
My mood: Dropping to sleep on my hooves, also slightly confused
Entry 5 - 4:05 PM - 31st August
Thinking of putting sleeping pills strong enough to knock the animals out for a couple of days in the feed tonight
My mood: Evil
Entry 6 - 5:00 PM - 31st August
Can’t sleep now, someone might need me. Must stay awake. Angel is asking for his special treat again. I swear if he points to that picture one more time he is a dead bunny Oh. I didn’t mean to say that. I'm so sorry angel!
My mood: Wanting to bash my head against a table
Entry 7 - 7:29 PM - 31st August
Fuck Screw I want to kill That bear from the forest visits me at the end of every month, and it is really annoying because I have to give him a massage. In this state I would much rather kill Slaughter Dismember Send him back to the forest to wait a couple of days as I am just too tired to think
My Mood: Shed.
Entry 8 - 11:41 PM - 31st August
Twilight and Rarity came for "Evening tea." Of course being so nice I let my friends in to keep me company. Between you and me I think I slept for 30 minutes while they were discussing things like books on fashion and spells to keep your hair straight. So boring, but don't tell Twilight that... Please? Oh yes you can’t... you are a book. I think it's time to head to sleep now. I'll write in the morning.
My Mood: Relieved
Entry 9 - 12:01 AM - 1st September
So there i was, I had just brushed my teeth, had a little wash before crawling into my precious bed, all the animals were fast asleep, I was just about to pass out on the bed when who comes along wanting me to stand in line for 12 hours to get Wonderbolts’ tickets with her? Rainbow Dash!
Needless to say I said a few things I am not known to say and she went off to get them herself
Time to sleep!
My mood: Annoyed
"Thats the end of the Diary..." Rainbow Dash said to Twilight Sparkle
"What were these few things she said to you when you asked her to go the the ticket office with you?"
"Well I'd rather not repeat them in front of you. You know?"
"Go on, its fine."
"You can shove your fucking tickets up your arsehole. I just spent a full night looking after the dicks that I call my animals and stayed awake all day to help Twilight and Applejack with some stupid, dumb, shit. Then you want me to go stand in line for 12 hours so you can go and try to hide your clopping as they fly past and wink? No fucking thank you! I'm pretty sure your marefriend Twilight can do that for you. Goodnight and good riddance!"
"Well that was... Colourful"
"Yeah... Thats when I snuck inside and stole the diary from her bedside table."
"What does she mean by 'My Mood: Shed' here in entry 7?"
"I don't wanna know Twilight, I don't wanna know."
"Okay... Did Applejack say what she said to the cows?"
"Now you idiots listen up... I don't like stampedes because they scare the shit out of me and my bunnies. If you could please shut the hell up for another month I'd be very thankful and might not have to teach you a lesson. who knows?"
Twilight and Rainbow travelled together (after the excellent "time" they had last night) towards Fluttershy's cottage to see how she was
Twilight knocked on the door. No answer.
Rainbow flew up to Fluttershy’s bedroom window to see her passed out on the bed, still. Rainbow picked up Twilight and took her through the window to wake Fluttershy up.
"You know you could have opened the door."
Twilight had the first try at waking the shy mare up. When she tried she was met by a swift push back. Rainbow then tried again and to Fluttershy's dismay, succeeded.
"Morning Sleepy head, you shouted some pretty hurtful words at me last night. Some of them I didn't even think you knew."
"Oh I did?, I'm so sorry, Are you okay?"
"Yes, but your animals look like they're out for the count... Did you put sleeping pills in the feed?"
"And where's that bear?"
"Somewhere you should never ever go, no matter what anypony tells you you should not go into... the forest."
"Okay...., And what's in your shed?"
Fluttershy gained a blank and suspicious look on her face.
"Nothing, don't go in there either."
Entry 1 - 12:30PM - First Day of Spring - March 20th
Today was tiring. After helping all the others organize themselves I even helped with some cleanup myself
Spike has already gone to bed, for some reason I don't feel that tired. Time for a midnight snack I believe.
i really hope i dont make myself stay up all night and end up like fluttershy did last year. Nobody has seen her like that since then though, so that's good. Still... Nobody knows what is in that shed of hers that she guards so closely. Only Rainbow Dash has ever had a sneak peek and then she came back saying "Swag" for a week. Long story short: My friends are crazy
My Mood: Happy
Entry 2 - 1:42 AM - March 20th
Spike woke up to see what I was doing. Apparently I make too much noise when I'm busy creating and learning spells to show to the princess when I next see her. Heh, Sorry spike!
I'm still not tired so I'm creating a spell that will let me teleport to my friends in an instant. I call it the... Friend-a-port!
I have also used this time to think about my relationship with Rainbow Dash - I think the bit- girl likes me. Can you blame her though? I'm SO Twilightlicious!
Ok I think my brain is telling my body it's sleep time so I better be getting off to bed.
Entry 3 - 3:12 AM - March 20th
Is it too much to ask for some sleep? I was prepared for bed when pinkie just popped up outside my window out of NOWHERE, Scared the living daylights out of me, at 3 in the GOD DAMN MORNING, to ask me to party? Who in their right minds has a party at 3AM?
Urgh! Spike now has to come aswell and a tired Spike is a cranky spike. And a cranky spike is NOT a good spike.
As i walk there now (Magic Writing is AWESOME) I can hear the faint booms of music. PLEASE tell me she didn't invite Vinyl to DJ... Not that I have a problem with the mare but. she can be a BIT obnoxious with the music sometimes - Celestia help us all if it is her. But I'm sure Vinyl is a sensible pony like many others in the town. Who would come to a 3AM party after they had finished working late the night before?
My mood: Sleepy and Confused
Entry 3.5 - 3:15 AM - March 20th
As an answer to the last question of my last entry: A lot. Oh.. And it IS Vinyl... Somepony knock me out now. Except for Pinkie. Something about that basement isn't right. Now I'm a little hungry. I might as well enjoy the party while it lasts
My Mood: Craving Cupcakes
Entry 4 - 5:57 AM - March 20th
This pink mare is CRAZY. I'm getting really tired right now but I can see the sun rising. and I cant be sleeping during my mentors wonderful sun-filled day! Oh boy this is going to mess up a LOT of my schedules. Time for me to escape this party and get back home. Or at least go and see my friends for the day who do not seem to be here because they are sensible ponies who can deal with pinkie by saying no. Apparently I'm too NICE to do that?
We'll see who's nice soon enough. Oh god why did I write that! I'm not going crazy!
Okay time to tell Pinkie what's on my mind
That went well I think. She looked a little upset when I started speaking. I'm sure I didn't say anything too nasty. I just told her I needed to leave and get spike to bed. Time to go see what Rainbow is up to now as sleep is no longer an option
My Mood: Feeling Weird
Entry 5 - 6:55 AM - March 20th
Rainbow Dash apparently thinks I'm a crazy pony. That mare is such a bitch it's unreal. APPARENTY my pupils were shrunk and most of my eyes were white. And that my mane was all messy and horrible. MY MANE IS PERFECT!
So thats her off the "hang out with" list
There was also this mare in a puddle that looked a LOT like me. I still shouted at her though
My Mood: Annoyed
Entry 6 - 11:40AM - March 20th
Those girls will see. EVERYONE WILL SEE. I AM NOT A CRAZY PONY. I AM NOT A CRAZY PONY!!!
My Mood: I AM NOT A CRAZY PONY!
Dear Princess Celestia
My Diary is plotting against me, can you please send it to the moon? Oh and while you're at it can you also send Rainbow Dash, Spike and Pinkie Pie?
Your always faithful, Non-Crazy student, Twilight Sparkle
My Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle
Get some rest, you crazy mare
Entry 7 - 1:12 PM - March 20th
Princess Celestia doesn't believe me. ALL MY FRIENDS HATE ME AND WANT ME DEAD.
Oh diary I'm sorry for telling the Princess to banish you to the moon, You forgive me right? right? DONT GIVE ME THOSE EYES!
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY LIKE THE REST... I'LL SHOW YOU, I'LL SHOW EVE-
"The Writing ends there" Rainbow Dash showed Pinkie the diary
"Wow she is one crazy mare. Why did she stop writing?"
"When i went in it looked like she had passed out while writing"
"What did she say to you this morning anyway?"
"Well" Pinkie Cleared her throat and put on her best Twilight impression
"YOU are a crazy bitch, NOPONY wants to wake up at 3 in the FUCKING morning to go to one of your STUPID parties."
"Ooh I'm Pinkie pie! Lets have a stupid party everyday that people only come to because they're scared of me. I have a Crush on Rainbow Slut and clop to her every night, CUPCAKES CUPCAKES FUCKING CUPCAKES"
"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go put spike to bed. Goodnight!"
"You have a crush on me?"
"Is that the only thing you took from that? what about all the swearing and the making fun of me?"
"You wanna do it?"
Twilight Woke up with the worst headache of her life
"What? Where? Why is there potions and brews and spell books littered around?" Twilight looked around at the spell books. "Oopsie... Looks like I was trying to make a Megaspell again. Heh I am such a silly pony"
And with that Twilight cleaned up and walked out the door, ready to face another day in the hellhole they call Ponyville.
DOSDP DRINKING GAME:
EVERY TIME YOU SPOT A REFERENCE, TAKE A DRINK
WHENEVER A NEW ENTRY BEGINS, TAKE A DRINK
EVERY TIME YOU SPOT A GRAMMAR/SPELLING ERROR, TAKE A SHOT
GUARANTEED DEATH BY THE END OF THE NIGHT
Entry 1 - 7:32 PM - March 2nd
Today was AWESOME.
I got to meet my hero's, The Wonderbolts, up in Cloudsdale tonight and they were amazing, I had a VIP pass so I got to go backstage after the show to see them and talk to them, me and a few others were there. We were probably the only ones with backstage VIP passes because they sold out in like 10 seconds flat. I was the first buyer, of course
Anyway they saw me and instantly recognized me from all the times before today that I had seen them. Spitfire especially remembers me from all the Wonderbolt Academy records I broke and all the new ones I set
This has been such an awesome night. I don't think I'll be able to sleep!
Entry 2 - 11:37 PM
No sleep for me tonight it seems.
Entry 3 - 11:42 PM
Since sleeping is off the menu I have to find something entertaining to do tonight. The playpony magazines under my bed seem interesting right about now....
I could try reading one of the books Twilight gave me last week, the new Daring Do book is supposed to be her toughest adventure yet! I do see a lot of myself within that character, almost as if some strange creature from another world wrote Daring Do, made me the main character and just changed my colours and gave me a hat... But that's the craziness talking. I'm sure its just a huge coincidence
or is it?
let's see what's happening around the ponynet. Pinkie told me of a great website called Read-it. let's see what it's all about
Entry 4 - 1:52 AM - March 3rd
Found something cool on the ponynet, It's a show aimed at little fillies but it's pretty cool! oh god why am I watching this. It has 3 seasons... something to do i suppose.
Update - 4 AM
THIS IS AWESOME, found a community full of people who like this show, they call themselves bromans...weird bunch.
Entry 5 - 5:21 AM
Oh god I just realized Pinkie is having one of her "All Day All Night" parties today and I just stayed up all night watching a little fillies show. This will not go down well for me.. maybe I could catch a nap now? but then I'll oversleep and miss the party, I guess I'll just have to soldier through!
Mood: This will not end well!
Entry 6 - 10 AM
Caught a break from pinkies party to write a quick entry, this party is amazing!
The food could last for days and the sugar is just keeping me awake, if I keep eating I can stay awake for another night... hopefully.
Pinkie pie is calling for me, gotta get back to the party!
Mood: Why am I doing this!
Entry 7 - 10 PM
Pinkie would not let me out of her sight, this is the best party ever, even Fluttershy is enjoying it, and dancing... something everyone must see at least once in their lifetime
Hm, this toilet seat is comfy, I could see myself fall--------------
Entry 8 - 10:31 PM
I fell asleep on the toilet. That is a way I do not want to die
Pinkie woke me up when she came in and now I feel worse than ever and I know Pinkie wont let me skip the party to go sleep. time to eat more sugary food!
Mood: Kill me
Entry 9 - 11:50 PM
YEAH WE GETTIN 20% COOLER!
Entry 10 - 6:50 AM - March 4th
Pinkie would not let me get away to write but the party has finished now and I can finally sleep, I'll be sleeping for days!
I can see twilight walking up to me, what does she want now?
Entry 11 - 7 AM
I have acquired a deep hate for a certain purple alicorn princess
Mood: Give me my sword
Entry 12 - 7:30 AM
Twilight wants help all day with magic practice and sorting out her books. She's a Celestia damned princess now, cant she get some other pony to do her bidding, she says she wants to spend more time with me but i think that's a load of horsecrap.
Unless Princess Twilight Sparkle is a filly fooler... oh Luna help me though this...
although that could be interesting...
DAMN IT RAINBOW GET THOSE THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD
Mood: Questioning my life
Entry 13 - 1:30 PM
Some ponies just want to watch Equestria burn
Twilight's magic practice was a "keep awake" spell she found in the library, it prevents people from falling asleep, no matter how tired they are and apparently it lasts for 12 hours... oh the joy
Also Twilight keeps making advances. Somepony get me out of this hellhole
Mood: Why is this exciting me?
Entry 14 - 4:30 PM
All bodily functions are slowly draining, although feeling slightly more aroused than normal, was that another spell twilight cast because if I find out that she did... a Princess will be beheaded tonight... and it's not the white, dark blue or pink one.
but Twilight is looking pretty attractive right now.
Entry 15 - 11:30 PM
Well the last few hours were interesting... lets put it in a chronological list
4:35 - just after I finished writing my last entry, twilight caught me slacking off and confiscated my diary.
4:55 - She comes towards me, Smiling and wearing some sort of perfume.
5:00 - She tells me what I've been thinking this whole time - she wants me (why now)
5:30 - We decide to stop and have a talk about our "feelings"
7:30 - And now we get to the NSFF (Not safe for fillies) part. My lack of sleep made me say that I liked her too. bad decision brain.
7:35 - we get up to......... stuff
7:40 - Stuff in the bedroom
7:45 - Some totally weird stuff
8:45 - We're finished with the stuff
9:00 - I have a new fillyfriend
Now if the readers of this diary are sensitive to harsh words. I ask you to skip the next 3 lines
FUCK SHIT BALLS DAMN BASTARD CUNT FUCKER RAINBOW DASH YOU ARE A TWAT FOR LETTING YOURSELF INTO THIS GO AND CRY IN SHAME YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS EVERYONE GOING TO THINK OF YOU, THE WONDERBOLTS, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS YOU TOTAL UTTER CUNT.
You can look back now!
Well only another hour until I can fall to sleep so I shall leave this entry here
Mood: Cant tell if I should be happy or killing myself
Entry 16 - 12:29 PM
Mood: Dropping to sleep in 3...2...1...