Story: Physics and Magic don’t mix
A clever chapter title!
“Arrgh, ouch, my head!”
The human was slowly rocking his head back and forth in his hands. He slowly got to his knees then heard a voice, exactly like his, right next to him.
“Ouch! Your head, you should feel my head. Hurts like two pony’s heads in... wait. Did I just say pony?”
He looked to his right searching for the voice he had just heard, but instead of finding another human (what he expected to see) he saw a pony. Not just any pony, it was specifically his pony avatar he had made and used online.
“WAIT! Why does it look like I’m looking at me from another person?”
The pony screamed in alarm. The pony looked down and then a look of fear passed over his face as he brought his hoofs up for a better look “and why do I have hooves?! How am I... you’re... he’s me... but that... ohhhhhh”
The pony fainted and flopped onto the ground.
With that the human tried to process the information “Wait a second! He had my voice! Or I have his voice? Am I him or something what is... how am I... where am I....” and also promptly blacked out.
Both bodies lay there completely unaware that they were about to enter a journey of a life time. That and they were actually unconscious and thus literally unaware of anything for the next couple of hours.
Well you probably know how it goes right. Average guy with an average life, walking home one day when suddenly a bunch of flashy lights appear and bam! You wake up with headache and see a ponified version of yourself. Wait, WHAT? You mean that’s never happened to you? Well that’s what happened to me, nothing out the ordinary. Yep just another day of finding out that you’re not insane, just in Equestria, the magical land of ponies. Oh yeah and your magically linked to your ponified self. Yep he can see what I see and I can see what he sees or I see... ARRRGH! So confusing!
You see he has exactly the same consciousness as me or I have the exact same as he does which ever. Anyway I’m a human and a pony at the same time, which, as you can tell, is extremely confusing. This is an epic tale of laughs, a bit of romance, facepalms, facehoofs and a whole lotta pain on my part and his part. Both of will be telling our story considering we are both the same, with the exception of course that he is a pony and can’t swear and only uses pony terms. He says everypony, I say everybody, it gets really confusing later on. So here is the story of my pony and me or a pony and his human. You get the idea. BACK ON TOPIC!
“Ohh! Damn, my head hurts.” I slowly got up holding my head in my hands, again.
“Wait! That pony from before!” I looked around and sure enough there he was, myself as a pony.
“Just as I had imagined him. No, sorry, just how I imagined myself.” I whispered under my breath. He was a Pegasus, which was probably because I had a small affinity for flying. He had a scruffy mane and tail, which was all black and his coat was a deep camouflage green.
“Woah! This is trippy man. I mean it’s me as pony for crying out loud.” I said out loud. I was trying to figure it out what was going on. I sat there looking at him sleep. Was he me or something? Maybe he summoned me here from an alternate universe? No, that wasn’t it. I know a teleportation spell went wrong! That’s always the reason for stuff like this happening in the fan fictions! It was probably Twilight practicing a new spell.
“Oh so he wakes then does he?” I said this as slowly started to get up, almost as I had.
“GAH! Who are you?” He pointed an accusing hoof in my direction and staggered away. The freakiest part was that he said it all in my voice.
“Wait, you’re me! How am I seeing me when... oh yeah, forgot about that.” He stopped and looked at his hooves again. A wide and somewhat creepy smile spread across his face.
“I’m a freaking pony!”
He cried in an emotional cocktail of surprise, confusion with a twist of interest and joy on the rocks. He looked ready to jump up and run around in excitement but instead “whoah!” *fumph* ended up falling on his face abruptly ended those emotions and replacing them with pain in the face. It also was when I was first hit with a sudden pain in my face as well.
“AHH! My face.” We cried in unison.
“What are you moaning about? You didn’t land on your face!”
“It sure felt like I did! Ow!” We sat there rubbing our faces for a while until we got over the pain we looked at each other until my pony spoke up.
“How is it that you are feeling my pain? Are telepathically linked or something?” then suddenly wanting to test this out he promptly punched himself in the face with a hoof eliciting a cry of pain from himself.
“Ha! Nothing happened! Your wro- OW! Damn it! I really hate it when others are right!”
I had also felt the pain of a hoof hitting my face. Had my other self not also been in pain he would have been laughing at me.
“So from, ow, a fresh start who are you?” I finally managed to ask through the pain.
“I am or rather was you. I am the one who’s been turned into a pony but why are you or why am I still human?” He asked back, after finally managing to stand on all four hooves without falling over.
“Hold on a sec. So you’re saying that you were once me but now I’m a pony as well? But still human?”
“Well, yeah. For some reason you are still human but now I exist as a pony version of you. Or are you just a human version of me?”
“Well we can determine that easily.”
“How?” A trace of doubt easy to detect in his voice. It was still my voice as well.
“Not sure, But I can determine how we are actually the same person and or pony or not.”
“We had this whole conversation knowing exactly who we both are. But the real question is how on earth, actually Equestria for this matter, is that even possible?”
We both sat there for a while trying to figure this out when I started to hear thoughts mixing with my own. I ignored it for a while when I suddenly had the urge to look over at the pony version of me. When I did I saw that he was doing the exact same thing. We both turned away.
‘Creepy.’ I thought to myself as I turned away
You said it. A voice in the back of mind said
‘Wait! Who said that? That wasn’t my thought.’
Ahh! Who said that? That last one wasn’t mine either
‘Wait a sec. Can you hear my thoughts?’ I turned and looked at him waiting for a response.
I guess I can. Ha! That is cool and creepy on more than one level.
I heard him think while looking at the smile on his face.
After a while of telepathic communication we finally got over it and began to finally take in our surroundings.
“We can figure that out later, for now it looks like we’re near the Everfree or something.” I expressed as I finally noticed the huge forest behind him. He turned around and simply said “Eeyup.”
“Don’t you dare start that.”
“Why not? We’re both in Equestria. It’s the perfect place for us to ‘start that’ as it were. And it’s no use arguing with yourself either so don’t start. Ponies might think you’re crazy!” He added with a bit of mock horror. I of course, proceeded to face palm and be the reasonable one of this ‘split personality’ as it were.
*Sigh* “Ponies thinking I am crazy will be the least of our problems if they have any myth reguarding humans. We need to figure out how we are going to survive here or get back home, all without causing a panic in the process. And in order to do that we need to figure out which of the mane 6 we need to find first. Assuming of course we arrived somewhere in that timeframe.”
We both nodded in agreement and began discussing Idea’s. Which was a turned out to be very weird conversation, because instead of thinking the same thoughts or similar ones, we both acted as individuals.
“Well Rainbow dash and Rarity are out of the question.”
“Why?” I asked my Pegasus self with a quizzical look.
“Well one, Rainbow Dash would probably try and attack you thinking that you were a monster and Rarity is probably at her Boutique which neither of us know the location of.”
“I knew that, just wanted to hear it coming from someon- somepony other than myself.”
“Whatever.” He gave me a dismissive wave of his hoof. “What about Applejack or Pinkie Pie?” He asked after a few seconds in thought.
“SHHH shh shh shh! Don’t say that name! Who knows what kind of cosmic force would lead her to us?” I looked around us for any sign of the hyperactive pony. Finding none I continued “That mare is the last pony we want to meet at the moment. As for Applejack, I think she’d freak out and try to send us back into the Everfree. Which leaves us the options of either, Twilight or Fluttershy, which do you think?”
I let the question hang in the air for a second until I or the version of myself, spoke up.
“Twilight. She would be the most accepting of the 6 and will want to help us. Not to mention she is studying friendship so we can use that to our advantage and get her on our side.” My pony counterpart suggested.
“Nope, wrong answer. Twilight would get very suspicious if we even slipped up once. One mention of the show and we are sent to da moon! Or dungeon. Hell maybe.”
“Even if we don’t slip up she would be asking so many questions that we would be questioned to death.” Making sure to add emphasis to the death part.
“I say we find Fluttershy. Not only is she best pony-oops! Oh wait you already know that, heh.”
“Anyway I think I have it figured out. You run or fly or something and find her, say that you found a strange lonely creature by the Everfree, you say that he can talk but is very scared. And then you help Fluttershy find me and I pretend to be all scared and such then she introduces us to her friends. Simple! We come across as non-hostile, gain her friends trust and get free access to the local egghead. We’re set for getting introduced to the mane 6.” After my lengthy explanation I sat there looking pleased with myself, which I was, and waited for his or my own response.
“You know technically we are both crazy because we’re talking to ourselves you know that, right?”
And there are many more to come. Of that we had no doubts what-so-ever.
“And secondly, I never knew my ideas were always that good. I mean its one thing to think of them yourself but to be a pony agreeing with your human self is a whole different matter entirely.”
“That’s the spirit! Know we just need to find Fluttershy’s place and set this all up.”
“Wait! What about names? I mean, I can’t use my human name anymore. And as for a pony name... I never came up with any good ones.”
“We both know that I already know that and secondly we need to pick an inconspicuous name. So we remain anonymous.” Stroking my chin in thought I suddenly had an idea “Anonymous Ace! A perfect name for a covert Pegasus.”
“Anonymous Ace it is! I like it. Now with that resolved, onwards.”
With that we got up and started walking along the edge of the Everfree. We were making good time considering we had to stop every now and then because Ace kept falling over. I was amazed at how clumsy I was for a Pegasus. But I, or well rather he, was walk rather well for suddenly having two extra limbs to walk on. Not to mention fly later on.
“Oh and hope a certain sky blue Pegasus with a prismatic coloured mane doesn’t spot us first. That would be the biggest problem to have right now. That or all the mane 6 are already looking for us.” I continued to list a whole range of scenarios in which our plan could go wrong for at least five minutes into the walk.
“Shut up! Have you ever told yourself how annoying you are? Cause you are really annoying!” Coming from a ponified version of yourself, that there is a huge insult, especially considering I was actually insulting myself, just in pony form.
“Oh and Pinkie Pie would be the worst problem right now.”
“You’re right! Well of course you are, you’re me. Anyway, the sooner we find- Oh! There it is! Speak of dramatic convenience.”
We finally found the home of the shy Pegasus known as Fluttershy. ‘It looks just like it does in the show.’ We thought at the same time. ‘creepy.’ Again! Gosh damn it! That is going to get so annoying. This led to another round of faces meeting a certain hoof and hand.
“Alright. Off you go. Just keep me up to date with our mind link thingy.”
“Ok. Just go and hind or something over there.” He or I or whatever, Ace pointed a hoof over my shoulder at some bushes near the edge of the forest. We nodded our acknowledgements and set to work.
Switch to Anonymous Ace
‘Omigosh,omigosh,omigosh! I am going to meet Fluttershy. The best pony ever! In pony, or something. In person would’ve been so much easier to say. No stay focused your almost at the door and I need to help him or am I helping myself? No! Stay focused’
I kept concentrating on not tripping over and walking in a straight line. As fast a learner as I was, I wasn’t that fast. Learn to walk on all fours is tricky OK! I was better at running than walking so this I had to focus on. The distance between me and the door reached zero and I reached up with a hoof to gently knock. As I was just about to a familiar presence entered my mind.
‘Just do already!’
Ahh! Don’t interrupt my thoughts. You make me think I’ve gone crazy. Now shoo.
‘Whatever. Oh and we are already crazy. Even before I... we came here’
I raised my hoof again and stopped before it hit the wood. I was too nervous! I couldn’t do it! It was Fluttershy, of all ponies I was afraid, no, scared of Fluttershy! I felt pathetic. And while I was moping over how shy I was compared to Fluttershy, I had failed to hear the hoof steps approaching the door form the other side.
“Oh. Umm... Hello? Who are y-you?”
I looked up and saw Fluttershy in the flesh. For the first time, in real life! I was awestruck to say the least. When I finally spoke, it was a bunch of stammers and mumbles.
“I... I mean we... no...” After a short silence I decided to do the worst possible thing...
“ABANDONE THEAD!” I screamed while turning in mid air and then running away. Fluttershy was startled at first but had seen the fear and how scared I was in my eyes. Leaving her shyness behind she gave chase in hopes of helping me.
“Come on out Jake! We have gotta run!” I shouted while running towards the bushes.
Because of our telepathic link he immediately knew why.
“Why are we so scared of her?” He panted as we ran along the edge of the Everfree “I mean it’s Fluttershy for crying out loud!” And we continue to run.
Now Fluttershy was scared but even more interested in what was going on when a strange bipedal creature started running away as well. Hoping she could catch them or at least talk to them, she took to the air in hopes of catching up.
“Please stop. I just want to know why you ran away. I won’t hurt you.” The yellow Pegasus called as she got closer and closer.
“HELP!” Jake screamed as we ran. As the forest began to clear we came into view of an apple orchard.
“OH DAMN! Apple orchard ahead!” I shouted as we got closer and Fluttershy got nearer.
‘Why aren’t they splitting up? Wouldn’t that make it harder for me to catch them?’ Fluttershy wondered as she gradually got even closer. She almost five meters away when the two runners reached Sweet Apple Acres.
‘Now I can get Apple Jack to help! She’s good at herding and using a lasso. I can finally find out what’s going on.’ And with that she broke off to find her orange friend and put an end to the mystery of why these two ran away from her.
Now one does not simply run through an apple orchard. We had considerably slowed our pace, partly because I was tired from somehow being able to run and jump like a native and also partly because of dodging all the trees. Mostly the trees though. The weaving and dodging is hard work.
“Even with our exhaustion being shared, I can’t go much farther.” Jake complained slowing his pace as we entered a small clearing.
“Your right. Neither can I. We’re as good as caught. What do you say, surrender or keep running and be caught anyway, split up and still get caught or wait here and hide until caught?” upon giving these options Applejack and Fluttershy suddenly burst from the foliage and took up a defence but still attack like stance. With that happening so quickly I glanced up at Jake and he looked back.
“We surrender!” we cried as I put my hooves in the air and he put his hands in the air.
“Really? Just like that? Ya’ll give Fluttershy a long run and then just give up?” Applejack said with an amusing look of disbelief on her face.
“No, we didn’t give up. We surrendered!” Jake said with glee in his voice and smile on his face. However it soon left when Fluttershy started towards us.
You thought it.
“Why did you run away from me?” She demanded. Her tone forceful but somewhat caring all at once “Why were you outside my house? Who are you and what are you?” Indicating at Jake, who being a man decided it was time to shrink into a ball a quiver in fear. Seeing how scared he was and how shocked I was looking Fluttershy’s attitude slowly changed and she became less assertive.
I cleared my throat to get her attention. It worked, I cringed and took a step back from the attention I had called upon myself.
“W-well I ran away because I was just scared all of a sudden. I don’t know why though.” I forced a nervous laugh but continued “We were outside your house because we wanted to know where we were and as for who we are...
I am Anonymous Ace and this is Jake.” I was still a little scared of Fluttershy and Applejack but they had softened up and looked much less threatening than before.
“But why in tarnation was ya’ll both so scared?” Applejacks tone hinted that she was confused about all of this.
“I was scared for him and he was scared of himself and of you.” I replied in all honesty
“Scared of Fluttershy? Now that’s a hoot! How could anypony be scared of Fluttershy? Or themselves for that matter.”
“Because you technically can’t exist or don’t exist.” Jake was slowly sitting up and gaining more confidence “In the world I come from there aren’t any creatures like you. Similar? Yes. sentient and flying ponies? No. I had never seen creatures like you before so I got scared.”
Applejack and Fluttershy were a little surprised to see him talking and went to ask more questions but Jake continued
“As for why I am scared of myself, Pegasus only exist in mythology on my world. Along with creatures like Dragons, griffons and other things. I thought that I might have been seen in a similar light. A piece of mythology that shouldn’t exist. But if I am a myth then you might fear me, so I began to fear myself as well, if only for my safety.”
This time both ponies were silent. They had never heard such things. Mythology, creatures from another world, it was all strange and weird to them. But Fluttershy finally asked the question Jake was afraid to answer.
“So then, what are you, umm, exactly.”
“Please don’t run or attack me or scream or be scared of me if I am right.” His fear easy to sense in his speech
Both mares looked at each other and gave a serious nod.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” They chanted in unison. After giggling abit Jake spoke up to finally answer their question.
“Ok. I’ll take that as a form of trust and tell you.” He tensed up and let it go, took a deep breath and said “I’m a... Human.” He said in almost what seemed defeat.
But not to his relief both mares gasped in surprise. While the whole time I was just watching this play out, waiting for when I could come in.
“A human? But they’re supposed to be big and scary. How in Equestria are you big and scary?” Applejack was shocked by the fact he was a human
“Well he was right about the mythology part.” Fluttershy seemed a little reluctant to say it
“He was?” I was surprised I/we figured that out.
“Yes. But you won’t like it.” Fluttershy was starting to hide behind her mane. She knew that something would happen.
“Please tell me. If I am to deal with how I am being seen then I need to how I am being seen.”
She took a deep breath and shut her eyes, a short second later she finally blurted out
“They were supposed to be the creatures that killed the parents of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They were said to be vicious and cruel beings that enslaved ponies until discord killed all the humans.”
Jake and I were literally stunned and shocked beyond belief. Applejack was the same. But for the first time in well forever Jake and I passed out from shock. We did not faint! Men pass out, girls faint, now you know the difference.
Fluttershy brought her hoof to her mouth in shock whilst blushing form the embarrassment of making them faint.
“Is what ya’ll said true Fluttershy? Did humans really kill the Princesses parents?”
“Yes. I studied ancient Equestrian history in Cloud school. I was the highest in my class because I knew it so well. Umm not to brag though, I just wanted to tell you.”
“It’s ok Fluttershy. I know you didn’t mean it. But now what are we gonna do with these two?” mentioning to our unconscious forms lying on the ground.
“We can’t tell the others. No tellin’ what they’d do. We need to keep them hidden. We also can’t tell how they’d react neither”
“Umm, how about my place. They’ll be safe there. I hardly get any visitors.”
“I dunno about leavin’ them alone with you, but that there human didn’t seem too dangerous. He was downright scared of us even!”
Fluttershy nodded in agreement, she then caught sight of the sunlight streaming through the trees and let out an involuntary gasp.
“It’s almost sunset, We should hurry and get them to my cottage before anypony else sees them.”
“Ok. Lets go Fluttershy.”
They set to work trying to get the unconscious pony and equally blacked out human back to Fluttershy’s cottage.
5 Hours Later
Switch to Jake
I bolted up-right and felt like I was gasping for air. I looked around trying to take in my surroundings but it was dark. As my eyes slowly adjusted I could see we were both in Fluttershy’s cottage. I turned and focused on Ace. He did the same to me. Being light insomniacs we both went outside as we couldn’t get back to sleep and were both bored just sitting there.
We went out what we presumed was her back door and walked over to a small hill nearby. Needless to say the sight we saw was more than breathtaking. If this was the view for a small hill by a cottage, sightseeing destinations must be even more breathtaking.
It was beautiful. The night sky was so clear and there were so many stars it was almost like looking a picture from the Hubble telescope. The moon looked larger than the one on earth and it’s light provided a most amazing sight. The countryside, of Equestira at night, bathed in an almost ethereal moonlight.
No such thing on earth could have matched such a sight as the one before us.
We admired the scenery for a few moments before finally deciding on star gazing for a bit. Whilst Ace had a little trouble still adjusting to his new form, he still managed to make it. A so for the next couple of moments, we stared into eternity.
For how long we remained silent I did not know, but something inside me just wanted to sing for the oddest reason. Knowing I would also do so if I was a pony left me with the simple task of choosing the right song to fit the mood. We settled on singing One Last Apology by Liquid Cobalt.
It was... weird, hearing your own voice singing while you were at the same time. But it sound nice none the less. First time I had ever done a duet.
I used to look into the night sky
I would have never thought it could have ever ended like this
I just can’t explain, I don’t know why
all I can say is, I’m sorry Luna
how could I have been so selfish!? I should have never~
brought this upon you, oh no, how could I ever
send you away!?
In my dismay
1000 years alone, how could I let it end this way?
now I finally realize
that all you needed was love for your beautiful night
but they only loved the clear blue sky
all I can say is, I’m sorry Luna
I wish I could turn back the clock,
(retrace all my mistakes)
all you wanted was, to be loved
(fight with all it takes)
but we found ourselves at a cross-roads
all the conflict just built up, nowhere to go
and in the end I was.. wrong
all those things that you said to me all seemed so pointless back then
but now I’m on my own, oh why couldn't I just understand
that all you ever wanted was someone who cared
but I let go of all the memories we shared
“You said it Ace. That was pretty good, despite the fact neither of us were good singers to begin with.”
“Let’s sing another.”
“Sure, how about Luna?”
The song we were talking about singing was called Luna done by Eurobeat Brony and specifically the Aviators remix.
Regardless of how we sang, we were nearly in tears by the end. The night sky the way it was and how we sang it, it was just beautiful.
For a thousand years
I've waited here for you
Waiting every night
For I thought you were the
answer to my life
Days turned into years
and into centuries
Patience had to fade
Don't you see that there is
vengeance in my eyes?
Luna won't you cry for me
I'm as lonely as I've ever been
I am forced back into the start
Is there any way to fix a broken heart?
and endless jealousy
Bottled in my soul
Has erupted as I'm
tearing through the skies
We exclaimed simultaneously.
“That was... moving. To say the least.”
“Yeah, I never knew I was such a good singer until I was turned into a pony and sang with myself.”
Yet something else had me confused.
“Did you hear music as we sang?”
“I think we should put that under ‘Magic, don’t have to explain sh-anything.’ And leave it at that.”
And so we continued to lay there until the sun rose, which was another couple of hours, and we were granted with another amazing sight. It had to be the most amazing sunrise I had ever witnessed. Aside from it being one of the few I had actually witnessed, even though I rarely got any sleep at all, it was still pretty amazing.
We heard a startled yelp from the cottage, some frantic searching noises and then finally a door opening and a sigh of relief.
No duh Sherlock
‘Shouldn’t it be something like fetlock hooves for you?’
Ha Ha. Now shut up
“Morning Ms. Fluttershy. Sorry we startled you like that.” She had approached during over mental conversation.
“Oh umm yes but it’s fine now. If you don’t mind me asking but, why are you out here and what were you singing before?”
We were both a little startled by this as well as a little embarrassed. I could feel a blush coming on and could see on Ace’s face.
“You heard that?” Ace was sounding very embarrassed and I was feeling very embarrassed.
“Yes, I had heard the singing last night but couldn’t make out any of the words. It was very nice.”
Not wanting to leave any clues leading towards the fact that she was a fictional character and what I was singing was related to the show, I went for a cryptic and mysterious answer.
“Oh, just songs from my homeland that tell tales of old.”
You did not
“But why were you out here?”
I snapped back to reality and a saw the sunrise was nearly over.
“We were just admiring the beauty of this place. You really have no idea how absolutely amazing the view from here is. I mean simply look at that sunrise.” gesturing towards the horizon
“Yes I guess it is very beautiful.”
And so are you
As that though popped into my head I looked at where Fluttershy was. From where I sitting absolutely no picture or painting could have done what I saw any justice. The way the sun shone and they she looked was simply...
I looked the other way as quickly as I could and sent a quick thought over to Ace reminding him about what he was doing.
‘We can’t get romantically involved here ok? Just not happening. Plus she’s a pony’
I know but that was just too much for either of us to handle. Also I am a pony and you aren’t so...
Even if she was a completely different species she was still beautiful. And therein lay the problem, we were both suckers when it came to pretty women or ponies in this case.
“Well I just have to feed the animals and then I can get started on breakfast.”
Both of us had been so deep in thought we had almost forgotten Fluttershy was even there.
“Oh well, um, at least let us help. You did help us after all.”
I raised an eyebrow.
‘Why does she seem so surprised?’
“Of course you can help. It’s just that, I’ve never had anypony to help before.”
‘Near to absolutely no male contact. Male comes and offers to help. Yeah, she’d be surprised’
I am not doing this to get into a relationship. Only to help
‘You forgot that your me again. I know that. That’s why I am helping as well’
The two of us got up from our resting place and followed Fluttershy back to her cottage and helped her with her chores.
And then came breakfast. And with the awkward situations of pony food and human nature.
Tell me what you think.
I may or may not update on a semi regular basis as I have alot of stuff to do.