It was dark in the dark place full of dark. The dark darkness concealed the dark cloaked ponies that were dark. A dark figure stepped down the dark hallway past dark robed darkponies. The dark queen of darky darkness stepped before a shrine and pulled some fire out of robes that kind of made some darkness go away but not enough to see much because it was so dark. She put the fire that was burning on the shrine and then a big green fire came out but was still dark kind of. It was cold even though it was fire but the queen of the blacky blackness didn't care no how. She had to make the cold and green to talk to a guy. And then the fire talked some words. And these were the words.
“Have you secured Canterlot?” the fire asked.
“No I didn't there were some ponies there that made it sad and not work and I got shot off into the sky like a BOOM,” the queen pony said back to fire thing. She took off hood and it was suddenly Chrysalis, the queen of the Changelings. “It's okay though I will continue my plan and you will be resurrect my master. Those ponies will fall into my trap!” She laughed an evil laugh and it was dark and scary and the fire laughed too even though it was fire and not a person or pony.
Then the fire said “Chrysalis you better not fail me this time or you will pay,” and it vanished in a poof and then there was only blacky black darkness left in the dark place. Chrysalis put hood back and left away from shrine with the ponies that were dark.
Taste McGillicuddy, the fastest and best pony, was at his house and there was a knock on the door. He flew super very fast down the stairs and didn't even walk cause he's too cool for stairs and opened door and there was Rainbow Dash who was his girlfriend on the other side. Rainbow Dash was fast and cool but Taste was the better but he liked her anyway cause she was also fast so that's why she was his girlfriend. Taste kicked open the door with his strong legs and it flew across the sky and landed on some monsters on the ground that were attacking some ponies and the monsters died and the ponies didn't know where the door came from but they said “Thank you Taste!” anyway because they knew it was probably him cause he's the only pony that could kick a door like that. Rainbow Dash did a fast dodge and said “Taste my sexy awesome boyfriend that is so cool do you want to come with me to Ponyville and get some food?” And Taste was kind of hungry so he said okay and they flew down, but Taste got there first because he had wings made out of FUCKING METAL welded to his FUCKING BACK that he did all by hisself. Rainbow Dash was able to keep up though and when they stopped Taste said “Wow Rainbow Dash you are getting fast that is so fucking hot I need to train more”. And they went. And they got to food and there was Twilight Sparkle the book and magic pony there eating sandwiches with her friend Spike who was a dragon. Twilight's heart was sudden and pound when she saw Taste because he was so sexy and awesome but she didn't say nothing because she knew Taste was Rainbow Dash's boyfriend and Rainbow Dash would kick the shit out of her if she tried to have pony sex with Taste. So she didn't. Spike came up and said “Hi Taste wow you're so cool I wish I had wings too” and Taste said “If you want wings you have to make them bro they don't just happen you have to FEEL THE PAIN!” and Spike thought he was too cool for school and said “One day I will weld metal wings to my back and be as sexy and awesome as Taste” and Taste said “Yeah okay, maybe one day kid” and they laughed.
After they ate food and things they were going to go back to their houses but Spike threw up all over the place suddenly and a million billion letters flew out of his mouth hole and all over the place. One of them poked out Twilight's eye and she started screaming and bleeding all over and said “HOLY FUCK SPIKE WATCH WHERE YOU SPIT THOSE THINGS BRO!” and Taste said “I got this guys” and took an eyepatch out of his pack and put it on Twilight'e eye to stop the bleeding and spray. “This should help but now you have only one eye so be careful or you'll lose the other one too” Twilight was so shocked and stunned because Taste touched her face that she forgot she was only had one eye and bleeding and just smiled and said “Oh yes Taste. Oh yes...” Rainbow Dash looked at her with mean glare and eyes but didn't kick her because she knew it wasn't all Twilight's fault and also it would be mean to kick someone after they got their eye cut out by a throw up scroll. Spike finished wiggling around in pain on the floor and picked up one of the pukey throw up scrolls and opened it. It smelled like a million sweaty taints and Twilight passed out from it and Spike almost did too but he read it anyway. It said in big letters “TWILIGHT COME TO CANTERLOT THIS IS IMPORTANT OMG SIGNED PRINCESS MOTHERFUCKING CELESTIA PS I SENT ONE MILLION BILLION OF THIS MESSAGE CAUSE ITS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT”
So they went.
They went to Canterlot and outside was a big force field made out of bubble. Twilight said “I know this it is made by my brother Shining Armor he is powerful and good at force fields” and Spike said “How do we get in?” but then a hole happened and they went in before it closed. When they came to the castle they saw Celestia standing there and her hair was sticking out in 42 different directions in 5 different dimensions at once. It looked like she got flattened by a giant fucking metal door that was kicked off by a super strong and sexy pony man. She saw Twilight and said “Come here Twilight I have to show you something HEY WAIT where are the other elements of harmony ponies?” And Twilight said “Wait what I was supposed to bring them too?” and Celestia was like “Twilight you dumb fuck of course you were supposed to bring them but it's too late now come here” and they went.
They followed Celestia into the garden where the statues were and they noticed one of the statues was missing it was the statue of DISCORD who the elements of harmony stoned a while ago. “The statue just goned one day and now I don't know where it is” Celestia said “I hope a bad nasty evil pony person didn't steal it so they could resurrect him or some shit.”
“But Celestia we already beat him once and we can do it again so it's no problem” Twilight said but Celestia said “Shut up you dumb cunt Discord is powerful okay. The only reason you twats beat him was cause he was underestimated you if you fight again he will use 100% full power and you will be killed” “But princess!” Rainbow Dash yelled very loud “We have Taste this time and Taste can beat Discord easy peasy lemon squeezy right Taste?” Taste smirked a smirky smirk and said “Yeah I can beat him he is no problem. Celestia rolled her eyes and said “You may think you're hot shit now but just you wait Discord will rip you a new butthole.” Taste just laughed and said “I don't even have to poop!”
After they talked about that they went back and were going to fly back to Ponyville so they could warn the others. They stopped at the big library where Twilight's house was and Twilight said “Okay guys here is the plan Rainbow Dash you go get Fluttershy out of her house and make her come here Taste you go get Pinkie Pie I will go to get Applejack and Spike go to Rarity's house but don't touch the bitch this time okay.” “Aw nuts,” Spike said as he kicked the ground. He liked to touch that bitch. He sauntered off towards Rarity's house and Rainbow Dash and Taste flew off into the sky and over some clouds. Twilight walked down the street and was sweaty and tired and made it all the way to the farm and then stopped and said “why the fuck didn't I teleport!” She went into the house and saw Big Macintosh squishing a bunch of giant ass spiders and said “Hey Big Mac where is your sister I need her” and he said “I'm sorry Twi you can't have sex with Apple Bloom” and Twilight said “EW GROSS MAC WHAT THE FUCK?! I need Applejack to help save the world again not your other dumbass sister.
Twilight went into the barn where Applejack was kicking the wall for no goddamn reason. “Hey Applejack come here I need you” she said. “Applejack turned around and said “SHIT GURL what happened to your eye?” Twilight had forgot about the eyepatch she was wearing and said “It doesn't matter right now I need you because we have to save the world from Discord”. And so they went.
Taste and Rainbow Dash were flying together and having pony sex at the same time because flying pony sex is the hottest shit there is bro. After they were done they were going to go find the ponies they were supposed to find but then there was a BOOM and the sky was shook like a big earthquake of the sky. A green fire was coming out of the ground where Fluttershy's house was so Rainbow Dash and Taste flew super hard and fast toward the house. When they landed they saw a bunch of black and evil ponies around the house and it was on fire with the green. “STOP YOU EVIL GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Taste yelled but the ponies didn't even stop or pay attention so Taste started cutting them in half with his epic metal wings that were sharp and blades. The bits of evil pony flew all over the place and there was green blood coming out of them and that's when Rainbow Dash said “Oh no Taste these are not even ponies they are CHANGELINGS!” And then the Changelings tried to fight but Rainbow Dash and Taste were too fast and were beating them up and kill. Then a loud voice said “STOP” and suddenly the fire was big and cold and flaring up all over the place. The queen Chrysalis, that dark and bad nasty pony, was over the fire with her buggy bug wings, holding a bunny and said “I will make this sacrifice to summon the dark lord!” She dropped the bunny which was Angel Bunny and he was falling and trying to yell but can't because BUNNIES CAN'T FUCKING TALK so he was falling and quiet. But the bunny Angel was saved by Fluttershy the pony who was flying out of the fire house and grabbed him and said “Don't sacrifice my friends you bad evil guy!”
“YOU FOOL!” Chrysalis yelled “You will ruin the plan!” She jumped fast and quick to grab the bunny but the three pegasussesseses stopped her first and said “No way are you going to do that” and so they fought. Chrysalis shot a laser out of her horn that was green and super but Taste blocked it with his metal wings. Rainbow Dash tried to ram into Chrysalis but was too slow and was hit by a laser beam from the side. She fell down and said Ouch but was still fighting. Fluttershy was flipping the fuck out and the Changelings were punching her and stuff but she was too shy to ask for help cause she's a dumbass like that. Then suddenly there was a voice and Twilight's voice yelled “Hey guys we're coming to help!” and then it was Twilight and Applejack ready to help. Chrysalis was knew that she was outmatched so she said “Hey Changelings stop beating the shit out of that pony and go get those guys.” The Changelings went fast but Twilight shot lasers from horn and killed some in a BOOM and Applejack was kicking them and they were flying all over the place like little bugs that fly all over the place. And Chrysalis was sad and mad and angry because ponies were making her plan ruined but then she had a hope because there was a voice that she heard from behind that said “Howdy y'all whats goin on can I help?” and it was Apple Bloom who was derpin around and fell on the ground in front of the Changelings. Chrysalis said “GET HER!” and the Changelings stopped fighting and went and grabbed Apple Bloom and flew fast and high above the super big fires and dropped her and she laughed and laughed a big mean scary laugh and Apple Bloom fell down and said “Oh boy I hope I get a dropped in a big green fire Cutie Mark!” as she got sucked into the fire and flame and green and was disappear. And Applejack said “NO My dumbass sister got sacrificed I will get you back you mean Changeling queen you!” But Chrysalis didn't even care cause she was so happy that the plan was worked that all she did was laugh and didn't even pay attention to the apple poni who was mad. Then the fire turned all blacky black and started shooting everywhere and Taste said “Quick pony girls get behind my cool metal wings so you don't die okay” and they did except for Fluttershy who was lying on the ground because she got her ass kicked. The fire shot out and went all over and burned a lot of shit down and was hot on Taste's wings and it hurt a lot but he didn't care cause he had to protect the pony girls or he would have no more pony girls to have pony sex with. So he did it anyway. Then out of the fire there came a big bad thing that was super bad. And that thing was
Discord came out of where the big fire used to be and was big and scary and nasty bad evil. And he was holding a thing. And that thing was a pony. A DEAD pony. And it was Apple Bloom and she was dead and he had her dead in hands and he looked down at the pony body and said “Thank you so much little pony for making me life again I will never forget you sacrifice.” And Applejack said “Give back my sister you nasty varmint!” and so Discord dropped the dead pony body on ground and it landed and some bones probably broke cause Discord was flying and it was big drop but it didn't even matter cause Apple Bloom was FUCKING DEAD! And Applejack ran and grabbed body and cried a little and said “Oh no I can't believe you are dead I will get you back Discord!” And Discord said “Yeah okay I don't care go away.” And he shot laser doom beams from his hands and body and they shot and blasted and Applejack and other pony had to dodge fast and quick to not get killed and dead by them. And then Chrysalis the queen of bad nasty evil came and said “Discord my lord I did the sacrifice and made you life again are you happy and did good?” and Discord said “Yes Chrysalis you did good to make me alive again thank you so much you are sexy do you want to have pony sex?” and she said “Okay I will do it with you Discord” and they started having HOT FUCKING BAD GUY SEX right there in the sky and the ponys just watched until Discord said “Hey go away nobody wants you here get out okay.” and they did.
The ponies went all the way back to Twilight's house and got a meeting so they could figure out what to do about the evil Discord problem. Twilight and Applejack and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and Taste were there and Applejack said “We have to stop them cause they killed my sister and now I am mad!” but Twilight said “Wait we need a plan you guys they are too strong to fight by us self we need a power to beat them” and Rainbow Dash said “What about the elements of harmony we could use those Twilight” and Twilight said “Okay but they're all the way in Canterlot how can we go and find them fast?” And Taste laughed and said “You ponies forgot I am the better and fastest so I can just fly there super speedy quick don't worry” and Twilight said “Yeah okay, but you can only carry one of us so who will it be?” Taste looked around and said “I will carry you Twilight Rainbow Dash can you take Applejack?” And Rainbow Dash said “Okay I will take Applejack” then eyes got all squinty at Twilight and she said “But if you try to have poni sex with my boyfriend I swear I'll poke out your other eye you sly fucker” and Twilight said “Don't worry it is no time for sex right now we have to SAVE THE WORLD” and she turned over to where Fluttershy was on the ground and said “Fluttershy I need you to go get Rarity and Spike they're probably having pony sex right now even though I told that asshole not to touch the bitch can you get them and bring them to Canterlot?” And Fluttershy was all afraid and scared but she went anyway. And the rest of them went too.
Rarity and Spike were at Rarity's house and Rarity was showing Spike all her pretty pony dresses and Spike was all like yeah whatever and pretending to care but he didn't really care he just wanted some of dat ass but he was trying to be nice n shit. Then there was knock on door and Rarity said “Spike can you get that plz” and Spike was like “Yeah whatever” and opened door and there was Fluttershy and she said “OMG Rarity you have to come help us Discord is came back alive and wants to kill us and stuff please you have to help get the elements of harmony in Canterlot” and Rarity was like “Ok sure but I have to pack my gimongous assload of bags first” and Fluttershy was like “No Rarity we can't bring an assload of shit cause we're running out of time!” and Rarity made a sad pouty face but it didn't matter nohow cause Fluttershy didn't want none of dat sweet ass so her charms didn't work. So they went outside and Rarity said “Okay how do we get to Canterlot?” and Fluttershy was like “Umm... well... you see....” and then Rarity jumped on her back and said “I guess you have to carry me” and Fluttershy was all tired and shit but she was trying to fly anyway even though she FUCKING SUCKED AT IT she did it anyway cause they have to save the world.