Nygumi is wrong. The shit pot stirring didn’t happen until the pink pony broke all the laws of physics and popped out of nowhere. Or possibly it was when I pulled my gun out on said pink pony. The-pink-thing was chattering on at MACH 1. Literally.
‘’ . . .and so that means I have to throw a party for you six!’’
Diamond Sparkle walked up. ‘’Could you PLEASE talk less obnoixiously and not be so effing annoying?’
Glancing at the group of ponies around me, I realized that everyone else must have woken up while I-
‘’Ah don’t want ta do this anymore than ya do sugercube, but we don’t really have a choice.’’
‘’Their has to be SOMETHING. We can’t give up hope yet!’’
‘’Face it, Twi, there’s nothin’ we can do.’’
‘’Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty!’’
Uhh . . .okay what? I gritted my teeth . . . these were our ancestors (though I doubted anyone but me had bothered to read through the data card). All this took place in a fraction of second of course. I focused on Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Pinkamena Diane Pie.
I focused on Pinkamena. ‘’What is the name of this town? We've been traveling for a long time.’’ Longer than you could imagine, being from the stupid ages, I added silently.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. ‘’Why don’t any of you have cutie marks?’’
I blinked. Cutie Mark? Oh right, that’s what ponies in the Stupid Age called slave brands.
‘’I, ah . . . dislike the idea of being a sainitation engineer and simply removed it.’’ I lied smoothly.
Twilight stared. ‘’You REMOVED your own cutie mark?!??’’
I closed my eyes. Involve them as little as possible.
When I reopened my eyes my voice was calm and natural. ‘’Do you by any chance know of any hotels around here?’’
Twilight nodded. ‘’Sure, follow me everypony.’’
Sureshot and I exchanged annoyed looks, but both of knew that saying something would attract unwanted attention, possibly jeopardizing the mission. We were disciplined enough to ignore the urge to correct Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkamena. Cirrus was not.
‘’What do you mean EVERYPONY! Do you HAVE to be racist?’’ Cirrus shouted, flying a few feet above the three ponyvillians.
Twilight looked at Cirrus like she was retarded. ‘’It’s not racist. EveryPONY says it.’’
Cirrus stood (flew really, she was too short to stand) eye-to-eye with Twilight. ‘’Everypony is WRONG! There are sentient beings that AREN’T ponies! Use everyONE or everyBODY!!’’
I gave Cirrus a look. The conversation of looks between us (strangely intricate considering that we barely knew each other) went like this:
ME: You just HAD to do that didn’t you?
CIRRUS: I don’t talk about it.
ME: Why? Does it have the potential to jeopardize the mission?
CIRRUS: That’s all you care about isn’t it?
I walked down the walkway. The important thing now was gathering intel and supplies. Other than guns and the elements, they hadn’t had the ability to send anything back with us (or more likely thought it would be a waste of resources).
I was standing in line at an actual frickin’ vegetable stand. It was like being in the stone ages. I didn’t have any of my weapons on me which was . . . unsettling to say the least considering how many inknown variables were in this situation.
I wasn’t expecting a pony from the royal guard to walk over to me. ‘’Miss, would you mind if we talked in private.’’
It wasn’t a question. It was an order.
I nodded. ‘’Sure,’’ I said following him into a grove of trees.
Then he pulled out his sword, fast as lightening and presses the tip against my neck. ‘’Where are you from? Whose backing you?’’
I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t believe I had let my guard down like this.
‘’Start talking already, bitch!’’ He shouted.
The tip pressed harder, and blood welled up at my throat. I snarled slightly. I wasn’t some weak Stupid Age mare. I'd faced far, far worse than this and come out on top! I kicked my legs up, hitting his cock on purpose. He leaped back, surprised and I took the opportunity to disarm him.
In an instant I was pointing the sword at him. ‘’I’m the one who asks the questions here,’’ I said in a deadly whisper.
Eyes wide he looked up at me. ‘’I-I don’t know anything! My captain told me to track you down and capture you!’’
I brought the sword down on his side, cutting deep into flesh. ‘’Who’s your captain?’’
‘’S-Shining Armor! C-can I g-go now! Please!?’’
I looked at him and realized he had peed himself. I shook my head. Truly pathetic. ‘’Actually, no. I’m doing a HUGE favor to the gene pool by killing you.'' I brought the sword down again, this time slicing through his neck. ‘’You didn’t deserve that’’ I told him coldly, ‘’you should have suffered. ''But I DO have a schedule to keep to.''
I walked away. I still had zucchini to buy.