Luna Versus Wedlock
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-made work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. Please support the official release.
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“You know Sundance, I just realized something,” Hoyden said as he paused in his massage of his marefriend’s hooves. She cracked open an eye and stared at him from the top of the bed. She was exhausted almost beyond belief thanks to the day's events, and even after the universal day off for everypony in Equestria after Discord's rampage she was still more than a little short tempered.
“Mmm... You stopped rubbing my tired, aching hooves?”
Hoyden rolled his eyes indulgently at his marefriend, but he allowed her to get her licks in. It had been a long, long day what with an Evil Chaos God running around and stuff blowing up and his futile attempt to stop him by strapping himself to a rocket.
Actually, viewed from the present it was pretty bucking metal but it was probably best to fully examine those events at a later time. He had more important things to worry about, after all.
“Well, aside from that,” Hoyden said with a chuckle. He gave her a serious look. “You're pregnant.”
Sundance stared at him as though he were an idiot. And really, it was a bit hard to blame him but if she could hold off on the sarcasm for just one-
“Yes, I am Hoyden. Welcome to now, where have you been?”
Too late. Ah well, it was what he loved her for, among other things...
“I mean you're pregnant, but we're not married,” he said. Sundance blinked a few times, then held her hooves to her cheeks.
“Oh... Oh! Oh! You're right... Uh oh. This could look bad, very bad given my position, and the Princess...!” She looked like she was about to rev up into a furious rant, but with long experience Hoyden knew exactly how to head her off at the pass.
“Wait! I just had an idea!” Hoyden said with a grin. His marefriend stared at him coldly.
“I'm not getting married in Los Llamas, Hoyden,” she growled. Hoyden threw up his hooves, smiling cheerfully.
“I have another idea!”
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A few moments later, Luna was roused from her early morning slumber by the sound of a hoof hitting the door to her room. She sleepily sat up and rolled off the bed, and shook out her hair and wings. She then trotted slowly to the front door, waving her hoof in front of her mouth as she yawned. She opened the door with a brief application of her magic and stared out at the two ponies waiting for her outside.
“Hwah... Yes Sundance? Hoyden? What is it?” She asked in concern, wincing a bit as she stretched her wings. She'd slept on them a bit funny so getting the blood flowing again took some time. “Is something wrong?”
“Something, yes,” Sundance said. “You see, we-”
“Would you marry me?” Hoyden blurted out. Luna’s eyes widened, and the blood that had been tasked with circulating around her wings went to her cheeks instead.
“Buwah?” The millennium-old goddess intelligently asked.
“What,” Sundance growled. Hoyden coughed and shook his head.
“Wait, no, I mean, marry us! As in, us!” Hoyden said, gesturing quickly to himself and Sundance. The blonde mare’s anger faded, and she smiled and nodded at the moon goddess with a blush across her own cheeks. Luna herself blinked and tilted her head quizzically. It was actually very adorable, especially with her mussed mane.
“Both of you?” She asked, as though confused by the request. Sundance tapped her hooves on the wooden floor underneath her a bit nervously.
“Yes, please!” Sundance said with a warm smile. Luna looked thoughtful for a long moment, humming. She even summoned Abacus to do some calculations as Sundance and Hoyden stood there awkwardly. The moon princess gave her loyal mathematics tool a smile, and held him aloft nearby. She at last nodded, cleared her throat, and spread her wings. Her horn shined and magic filled the room. Her aura flared into a beautiful rainbow, and both Sundance and Hoyden gasped at the splendor around them.
“All right, let’s see, how does it go?” She asked aloud. “Oh yes! Ahem. By the power invested in me as Princess Luna, Goddess of the Moon, Arbiter of the Heavens and Queen of the Dreamlands I hereby pronounce you Stallion, Wife... And myself Goddess, so mote it be!”
The stars shined brightly outside the windows, and seemed reflected in the eyes of the two lovers. They smiled warmly at each other, their hooves clasped together. Luna’s hooves rested on theirs, and they turned to smile at Luna. The goddess smiled back, a bit sleepily.
“You may kiss everypony,” she said. She leaned forward and kissed Sundance on the lips, then kissed the surprised Hoyden in turn. She turned and trotted back to bed, the door shutting tightly in front of them.
Both Earth ponies blinked rapidly in confusion. They slowly turned their heads to look at one another.
“... Um... I don't think that's how it was supposed to end,” Hoyden said at last.
“Goddess?! What part does Goddess play in a marriage?!” Sundance growled.
“I note you’re not upset about that kiss,” Hoyden said with a little grin. “And hey, this'll definitely make for an interesting... Honeymoon.”
"... That was the worst pun ever," Sundance said at last.
"Yeah, but you loved it all the same," Hoyden teased. "And as for her being part of it, well, she could just be between us when we-"
He got clobbered for sharing that, but her deep blush as she punched him was worth it.
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Short, but hopefully satisfying. At least for a little while. My muse is like Luna sometimes: She refuses to show up where its most logical in favor of something else like video games.